28. Haley
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Haley
I dropped my coffee mug twice before nine in the morning.
The first time, it slipped out of my fingers and hit the counter, sloshing liquid everywhere. The second time, I knocked it over reaching for my phone. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking. My eyes burned from staring at legal documents until three in the morning.
Caleb’s threats had burrowed under my skin. Every time I closed my eyes, I heard his voice.
Lily was in the living room with James. Her laughter drifted through the apartment. At least one of us was having a good morning.
James appeared in the kitchen doorway. He took one look at me and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
“Come on, get up.”
“Where are you taking me?”
“Nowhere. You need to get out though,” he said as he pushed me toward my room.
“You can’t just kick me out,” I hissed, despite how good his hands felt on me.
“I booked you a massage and a hair appointment.” He held up the screen, showing me a confirmation email. “The whole afternoon. You’re going.”
I blinked at him. “What?”
“There’s a spa downtown. You’re expected there in an hour.” He pocketed his phone. “I’ll keep Lily.”
“I don’t need-”
“You do.” No room for argument in his voice. “Go.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but the words died on my tongue. What was I going to say? That I was handling everything perfectly? That I had it all under control? The coffee stains on the counter told a different story.
“Fine. But if Lily asks for ice cream before lunch-”
“Already handled.” He kissed my cheek. “Go relax. Doctor’s orders.”
“You’re not a doctor.”
“I’m a concerned citizen with a credit card and strong opinions about self-care.” He steered me toward the bathroom. “Shower. Get dressed. Leave.”
I went.
The hot water helped. So did putting on actual clothes instead of the yoga pants I’d been living in for days. When I emerged from the bedroom, James had Lily on his lap, reading her a story about a dragon who couldn’t breathe fire.
“Mommy!” Lily waved at me. “James is doing funny voices!”
“I heard.” I grabbed my purse from the counter. “Be good for him, okay?”
“I’m always good.”
James caught my eye over Lily’s head and smiled. “Have fun. Try not to think about anything stressful.”
“That’s a tall order.”
“You’re a capable woman.”
I kissed Lily goodbye and headed out. My phone buzzed before I made it to the car.
James: Megan will be there too, so grab lunch and maybe a drink. You deserve it, Hales. See you soon.
Of course he’d coordinated with Megan. The man thought of everything.
The spa was exactly as fancy as I’d expected. They led me to a dim room that smelled like lavender and left me alone with a massage therapist named Shayla who had magic hands.
Ninety minutes later, the knots in my shoulders had loosened. My jaw had unclenched. I felt like I’d shed a layer of armor I hadn’t realized I was wearing.
The hair appointment came next. Wash, cut, blowout. The stylist made small talk about the weather and local restaurants, and I let her words wash over me without really engaging. Just existing. Just breathing.
When I looked in the mirror at the end, I almost smiled. I looked like myself again.
Megan was waiting in the lobby, sprawled across a velvet couch with a magazine she clearly wasn’t reading.
“There she is.” She stood and looked me over approvingly. “You look almost human.”
“Thanks for the ringing endorsement.”
“Come on.” She linked her arm through mine. “Wine bar. Now. I have a lot of questions.” She squealed the last part and I already knew this was going to be a boozy day.
The wine bar was quiet for a Tuesday afternoon. We grabbed a table by the window, and Megan ordered a bottle of something expensive without consulting me.
“So.” She poured us each a glass. “Talk to me. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Nothing good.” I took a sip. The wine was excellent. “I’ve been a mess, Meg. I can’t sleep. I can’t focus. Every time my phone buzzes, I think it’s going to be another threat from Caleb or his lawyers.”
“Has there been anything concrete? Actual legal action?”
“No.” I traced my finger around the rim of my glass. “But you know them.”
Megan shrugged. “You’ve got a daughter who clearly adores you and a support system that would go to war for you.”
“I know. Logically, I know that.”
“But logic doesn’t help at three in the morning when your brain is running worst-case scenarios.”
“Exactly.”
She refilled her glass even though it was still half full. Classic Megan.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Since when do you ask permission?”
“Fair point.” She leaned forward, elbows on the table. “What’s going on with you and James? And I mean really going on. Not the surface-level stuff you’ve been feeding me.”
I hesitated. Megan was my best friend. She’d been there through the worst of my marriage, the divorce, the early days of single motherhood. If anyone deserved the truth, it was her.
“I don’t know how to describe it.” I stared at my wine. “It’s easy with him. Natural. Like we’ve been doing this for years instead of weeks.”
“That’s because you have been.” She raised an eyebrow when I looked up. “Maybe not the physical stuff. But the rest of it? The trust, the communication, the way you two orbit around each other? That’s been building since long before Caleb was out of the picture.”
“Meg.”
“I’m serious.” She set down her glass. “Daniel and I used to watch you two at family events. The way James would find excuses to be near you. You’d always relax when he walked into a room. Even when things with Caleb were at their worst, you always seemed calmer when James was around.”
I hadn’t realized it was that obvious.
“He’s different from anyone I’ve been with.” The admission came out quiet. “He doesn’t make me feel like I have to earn his attention. He just gives it. Freely. Without keeping score.”
“That’s what love looks like, Haley.” Megan’s voice was gentle. “Actual love. Not the transactional bullshit Caleb put you through.”
Love. I’d been dancing around it for weeks, afraid to name it, afraid that naming it would make it real and therefore vulnerable to destruction.
But even with that, James had been open. The very first night he’d kissed me, he’d offhandedly put it all out there for me in the open.
“I’m scared.” The confession surprised me. I hadn’t meant to say it out loud.
“Of what?”
“Of believing in this. Letting myself want it.” I drained the rest of my wine. “Caleb made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Like no matter how hard I tried, I would never be the wife he actually wanted. And now James treats me like I’m-”
“Like you’re everything?”
I nodded, my throat tight.
“That’s not a bad thing, Haley.” Megan reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “That’s what you deserve. That’s what you’ve always deserved.”
“What if I can’t be what he needs? What if this falls apart and Lily gets hurt? She’s already confused about who he is to her. She already wishes-”
I stopped. I hadn’t told Megan about what Lily had whispered. About wishing James was her dad.
“She already wishes what?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “It’s complicated.”
“Love usually is.” Megan studied my face with those sharp eyes that saw too much. “But complicated isn’t the same as doomed. Complicated just means you have to work at it. And from what I can see, James is more than willing to put in the work.”
I thought about the spa day. The way he’d kept Lily without a moment’s hesitation, like caring for my daughter was just part of caring for me.
“He really is, isn’t he?”
“He’s been putting in the work for years.” Megan smiled. “You’re just finally letting yourself see it.”
The afternoon light was fading outside the window. We’d been talking for hours. The wine bottle was empty, and I felt lighter than I had in weeks.
“That man loves you, Haley.” Megan set down her glass and met my eyes. “What are you going to do about it?”