Chapter 7
7
“ H ere's the new laptop.” Brogan held it out for Selena to take. It was the best one in the store, according to Cathal. “Now we can both work and not take turns on my computer.”
Because that was what he needed to focus on with Selena. Work. He'd revealed too much emotion with how he'd reacted to Simmons last week. And the moment in the supply room still ran through his head whenever he stepped foot in there.
He was no closer to figuring out how to handle her. Or himself. Each day, he showed up at work determined to keep his distance.
He found himself questioning not only his sanity but Selena's intentions. Something about that made him feel guilty, projecting Crissy's scheme onto her. Deep down in his gut, he knew that wasn't Selena.
“There were a couple more websites I wanted to go through and see the reviews.” Selena wore her hair down and pink lip gloss that made him want to focus all his attention on her lips. “I logged onto the websites as the business.” She grimaced. “I hope that's alright. There were a few reviews I responded to. They were very nice.”
She was good at this job. Even though he needed her running his waitstaff, another job she excelled at, he really appreciated her help in the morning. If they could do more advertising, maybe they could increase their profit. It wouldn't be in time for the banks to loan them the money, but he'd never give up. He'd decided if they lost this location, they'd move, reopen somewhere else. But the lag time between closing and reopening might hurt the business they had now. They had a loyal customer base that he'd hoped would follow them. But, based on a preliminary review of the other locations nearby, they couldn't afford the rent.
“Did you go to college, Selena?”
She hesitated. “No. Is that a problem?” She kept her eyes averted, booting up the laptop, and almost hiding behind it.
He pushed the top of the computer down a little, forcing her to look at him. “Not in the least. You’re good at this side of the business, advertising and promotion, and I didn't know if you had any training for it.”
Getting to know her, even a little more, was necessary. They only had a friendship to develop. He'd like someone like Selena as a friend since he couldn't bring himself to have something more.
“Thank you,” she mumbled. “I thought about going to school, actually started once, but it never worked out. I fell into waitressing. It doesn't pay a whole lot, but I enjoy it. Ugh, Brogan, the computer wants me to set up a passcode and everything.”
“Then set it up.”
“But it's the company's laptop.” She sat back. “Did you buy this just for me? ”
“I bought it for the company. I just never had a reason to have more than one computer here before you.” He smiled, hoping to put her at ease. She'd been jumpy and distant since the Simmons incident. “You can keep it in the office if it makes you feel better.”
“Yes. Definitely.” She started typing, and for the next hour, they worked across his desk from each other in silence, a natural rhythm that lasted until she needed to get ready for her shift.
“Same time tomorrow?” She pulled her hair back, arranging it into a ponytail while he sat and watched. He'd noticed the slender curve of her neck before, the smooth skin that would smell sweet. Was she sensitive there?
He cleared his throat. “Yes.” He needed to finish dressing despite the heat running in his veins from being near her. He began to button his cuffs.
Instead of leaving, she waited, as if she waited for him to finish, and they could both start their day together. The thought made him smile. They had their own morning routine.
“Any big plans this weekend? Going back out with Katie?”
She laughed, her honey-colored eyes sparkling. “No. Katie hasn't mentioned it.”
“I figured it was a regular thing you both did.”
“Not at all. Katie only goes out when she's not in a relationship. She just broke up with someone a few weeks ago. So, she's kicking the dust off, so to speak.”
“And you?” He swallowed, afraid to get personal. “Are you, um, seeing anyone?” He picked up his tie, concentrating on sliding it behind his neck while he waited for her response.
“No. Are you? ”
He tied his tie, stalling for some type of rational thought to make him pull back from the direction of their conversation. But he didn't want to. He wanted her to know there wasn't anyone else, either.
“No. I'm not,” he said, slipping into his suit jacket that suddenly felt tighter than before. He shouldn't have these thoughts about her. Shouldn't risk it.
She took a step, her expression wary a split second before she tilted her chin and closed the distance between them.
Brogan stiffened. If she kissed him, here, in his office, he’d surely die from the shock of the experience.
But she didn't kiss him. She reached up and straightened his tie. “Sorry. I didn't want you to leave with it crooked.”
“Thanks,” he said. She smelled like wildflowers. He'd noticed before when he'd held her close. “We should probably get to work.”
She patted his tie twice before she pressed her hand against his chest, sliding down a little. He held his breath at her touch.
“Thank you, again, for what you did with Simmons.” Her open expression and upturned face tempted him. The rush of breath over her lips, a soft sigh, was the only sound he heard. After a long pause, she dropped her hand to her side. “Have a good day, Brogan.”
He swallowed, finally finding his voice. “You, too.” Why did he feel the need to torture himself this way?
Selena slid the bag of groceries onto the kitchen table, smiling at Katie as she brought in another load. “You didn't have to help me, but thanks. ”
Katie shrugged. “I have nothing else to do. I went on a second date with that Army hat guy I met the other night at the bar. I really must have had some beer-goggles on. Definitely cuter with a hat.” She began to unload the bags.
Mimi shuffled into the kitchen. “Hello, Katie,” she said. Selena never picked up as deep of an accent as her grandmother held. Growing up in the middle of downtown Atlanta failed to produce that deep drawl known in other parts of the state.
“Hello, Ms. Estella.” Katie held up a rented DVD and a pint of ice cream. “Are you up for girl's night?”
“What movie is that?” she asked.
“The newest James Bond.”
Mimi laughed, a rich deep sound that Selena remembered from when she was little. Her mom and Mimi would sit around the kitchen table, smoking cigarettes and laughing about something. Even though her mom had problems with men and was a pretty lousy role model, Selena never remembered being unhappy. That didn't come until she recognized how the world worked. And she realized that which side of the tracks you were raised does matter to some people.
Growing up in a trailer held a certain stigma.
Selena looked around her cramped, old apartment. She kept it clean, if not neat and put away. It was the best she could do at the moment.
“My favorite James is Sean Connery.”
“James? Are you on a first-name basis?” Katie asked with a laugh.
Mimi winked. “Absolutely, honey.”
Selena finished putting away the groceries before joining them in the living room. Three bowls of ice cream and the newest James Bond film with two women she loved. It made the ache deep down for Brogan less prominent because it was always there, a half-second from entering into her mind and distracting her, making her wonder how to push him past his rules.
He'd asked her if she was seeing anyone. That wasn't a green flag that he was straight-out interested in her. She knew better than to infer that. But the way he'd said it, with a nervous hitch in his voice, made her wonder. He never got personal with his employees. Asking her if she had a boyfriend was a very personal question.
“Ms. Estella, did Selena tell you how her boss came to her rescue the other night?” Katie ignored Selena's head shake. She didn't want to upset her grandmother with a bad story.
“It was nothing.”
“No,” Mimi said, also ignoring Selena. “What happened?”
“There was this horrible customer that said something to Selena, and our boss kicked him out. Personally, I think he has a thing for Selena.”
Mimi's eyebrows pulled down tight, making her normally lightly wrinkled face contort. “Her boss? Isn't he the one you both complained about was too demanding and a dictator?”
“The same one.” Katie took a big bite of ice cream, blowing Selena an air kiss. “Apparently, he's not quite so bossy to Selena as to the rest of us.”
“Oh, he's just as bossy. Believe me.” Bossy in that he gets to dictate the speed of their flirty “non” relationship that's currently driving her crazy.
Mimi watched Selena for a moment. “You can always find another job, honey.”
“No. I like this job. He's fine. ”
Katie laughed again. “You know he's a football field distance beyond fine . More like a total hottie. But I'm beyond drooling for him.”
“Yeah. You're just drooling over Cathal.”
Mimi held up her hand. “Who's Cathal?”
“Brogan's youngest brother. He owns the pub as well,” Selena said.
“I love how you say his name.” Katie clasped her hands together. “ Brogan . Oh, my hot boss, Brogan !”
Selena tried to be mad at Katie, but she couldn't. For the past six months, she'd been her best friend. She'd helped Katie through two major break-ups, and Katie helped Selena stay sane. And Mimi loved Katie. Loved how open and funny she was about life. Nothing could shock her grandmother.
Mimi scrapped the bottom of her ice cream bowl and set it on the small table beside her. “Selena, you should tell him how you feel.”
“Yeah. I don't think so. That's not happening. We have a strict no dating policy, Mimi. And he enforces that rule each time he gets the chance.” That's what confused her about his actions. She could almost see the struggle inside him. He was interested. She'd established that. The way he watched her, touched her, talked to her. But still, he could control himself enough to hold back. Keep his distance.
Keep his damn rules in place.
She'd chased after Jacob all those years ago. And that was a turning point in her life. She'd never chase after a man again. Beg him to accept her. Hope he thought she was good enough with her trailer park background and no college degree.
She couldn't chase after Brogan. If that meant she'd never know what it was like to be held by those arms, then that was the price she'd pay. Her ego was too fragile to risk anything else.
“I think I'll just stay on the sideline for right now. I need this job.”
Katie stuck her tongue out. “You're no fun.”
“I don't see you chasing after Cathal.”
“Because Cathal doesn't like me like that. He doesn't look at me like he wants to devour me the way Ms. Estella just killed that ice cream.”
Mimi laughed. “Mint chocolate chip is my favorite.”
“I know,” Katie and Selena said at the same time. Katie left the topic alone for the evening and soon, soft snores came from Mimi's end of the sofa. She'd miss this. If she ever could get her grandmother into the proper facility, she'd miss her being beside her in the evenings. There when she awoke in the mornings. But it was for the best.
Last month, she'd fallen in the middle of the night. Selena couldn't sleep for a week, expecting to wake up and find her grandmother on the ground and instead of a small cut on her arm, maybe a gash on her forehead. Or a broken bone. Selena was strong, but not strong enough to handle Mimi in every situation possible.
She'd try again with the insurance company. God knows she didn't have enough money to pay for a nursing facility herself.
Selena rushed through the door of O'Keeley's. She was later than usual but had a good reason. The insurance company had called, scheduling another appointment to meet and discuss Mimi's qualifications into the facility she needed. Brogan stepped out of his bathroom as she walked into his office. His undershirt was tucked into his suit pants, but his dress shirt hung open.
His hair was wet and unstyled.
His feet, bare.
Hell.
She came to a dead stop in the middle of the room to get her reaction under control.
He looked delicious.
“Good morning,” he said, his eyes brightening. She did that to him, made him happy.
“Hi.”
“You seem happy.” His crooked smile appeared. He spoke a little less structured around her, his accent deeper. Did he realize it?
“It is a good morning.” Mimi had been the happiest. When she was all present, she always lamented living with Selena. Young people should be around other young people, she would say. But Selena had Katie, and now she wanted Brogan.
At breakfast, Mimi had brought up their conversation with Katie from a few days before. She'd pushed Selena to talk to Brogan about her feelings. She couldn't do that. But she might nudge him along. Not enough to get fired on the spot, but if he didn't make a move, it was because he didn't like her in return and not because he wasn't sure of her feelings.
He sat down at his computer. “I came up with an idea this morning. I'm not sure if you can do it. So, please, just tell me if you can't.”
“I probably can.” She'd done everything else he'd asked. His confidence in her, passing off assignment after assignment, gave her a sense of pride.
He clicked through a few screens, pulling up various websites in different windows. “I don't even know if we can do it without hiring someone. Or I can do it.”
He exasperated her with his controlling nature. “Stop procrastinating and tell me what you want. I know I can do it.” Selena stood behind Brogan, her hand resting loosely on the back of his chair. Two weeks after being asked to come in early, she had moved into almost an administrative assistant role. Simply working beside Brogan satisfied a small side of her. She'd figured out some of the little things that made him tick. That made him mad. The way he liked his coffee. The way he tied his tie. All the things someone in a relationship would know about their partner.
Too bad their relationship was more G rated than some Disney movies.
Brogan pointed at the screen. She leaned a little closer. At nine thirty, no one else would arrive for another thirty minutes. They had this short time together each morning—their own little world where he let down his wall for a few minutes.
“Here. I'm trying to push our advertising to these sites. I have the ad packages; I'm not sure how to contact them.” He leaned back. His hair brushed her hand. She should move and not be so obsessed, but she stayed. One small, minute shift of her hand and her fingers would brush through the soft, damp hair.
“I could figure it out,” he continued, lifting one shoulder, “but I'd appreciate the help.”
Help. The boss wanted help. Not fondled by his employee. He looked up at her. If they were together, an item, she'd lean down and kiss him. Would he flip out if she did that, now? His blue eyes watched her a long second before looking away .
“I'll find out for you.” She hoped her voice sounded light.
“Thanks,” he murmured.
“Oh, I meant to tell you I have a meeting tomorrow morning. Do I need to find someone to be the shift manager?”
He turned the chair around to face her. “I hope everything is alright.”
“It is.” She'd not told him about Mimi. She didn't want to ruin whatever image he held of her with the knowledge that every morning and night she took care of an elderly woman with memory loss. It wasn't the sexist thought in the world.
He wanted to ask; she could tell. She bit back a laugh. He always followed every rule about the separation of work and personal life. Except asking if she had a boyfriend—he'd broken his rule for that.
“Do you want to know what my meeting is for?”
“That's your business.” He turned back to his computer, grumpy again. Poor guy.
She twisted to lean against his desk, partway blocking his view of his computer. She'd take the face-on view when she admitted to him that she took care of her grandmother.
“I have to meet with the insurance company.”
“Oh? Why's that?” He tried to look around her at the screen, but she shifted, her knee pressing against his leg.
This was the point that people usually backed away from her. But Brogan wasn't in, to begin with. “I live with someone.”
His jaw tightened. He leaned back in his office chair, and he linked his hands behind the back of his head. His white dress shirt flared open, confirming all the hours he spent in the gym were worth it. “I didn't realize that. I thought you said you weren't seeing anyone. ”
She blinked at his sudden irritation. “Oh.” She smiled and patted his knee. “Not a man.”
His shoulders relaxed. “Then who lives with you?”
“My grandmother.”
“Your—” He sat forward, bringing them closer than usual. Her breath caught, but she didn't move. “Your granny lives with you?”
“Yes.” Was it that bad? Would he turn away like the few other men she'd tried to date? She cleared her throat. Not that she had any plans, or ability, to date Brogan, but it would hurt if he did.
He rose. Good God, so much man stood right in front of her. She itched to touch him, wrap her arms around his body. Her day was good because of the insurance meeting. It'd just kicked up another notch. The spicy scent of his aftershave made her want to lean closer.
“Is that why you were late all those times?”
“Yes.” Her voice sounded breathless. It was his fault. “I had to wait for the nurse to get there.”
“You should have told me, Selena.”
If she wasn't already propped up on the desk, her knees might have given way. He even cared about that. “I don't like excuses.” She tilted her head to the side, studying his expression. “You wouldn't have had to invite me here early every morning if I had.”
His thighs touched hers, the only evidence that he'd shifted a fraction closer. “Where are your parents?”
Brogan asking another personal question was major movement forward in their not-quite relationship. “I have no idea about my dad. He split when I was nine. My mom is in California somewhere. Chasing after a man, I'm sure. She took off for good last year. Just picked up and left.”
“I'm sorry. ”
“It's better, actually. Taking care of Mimi is much easier than dealing with her B.S.”
He nodded and brushed a strand of hair away from her face, resting his hand on her neck. “What's your meeting about tomorrow?”
Tender. The man that had threatened to dismember Simmons on her behalf had such a soft side that made her fall even more.
The reality of their situation sucked.
“She has memory problems. I'm trying to get her into a special facility. But I've fought the insurance company every step of the way, and I can't afford to put her in one alone.”
His hand lingered along her neck before it dropped to his side. No. It wasn’t fair that Brogan sent those signals expecting her to do something about it. As much as she hated giving up control, he was in the driver's seat on this one. He held the rulebook in his back pocket.
“Let me know if I can help.” He backed away, giving her air to breathe. He began to button up his shirt. “The kitchen staff should be here soon. And my brothers.”
“Early morning meeting?”
“Yes.”
“I'll start on the advertising as soon as I can.” She tapped the closed laptop sitting on his desk. “Do you mind if I take this home?”
“Not at all.” He buttoned the cuffs of his shirt. “But don't concern yourself about it tomorrow.”
“I should have time. The meeting is at ten thirty. I hope to take her for a tour after that, but it depends on what the insurance says. Can I swing by and pick the computer up after my shift today?”
“Sure. And let me know what they say about your granny's situation.” He slipped his navy tie around his neck and began to tie it. She watched as she did every day. Couldn't help it. He glanced up once, his blue eyes snagging hers for a heartbeat before looking back down.
He reached out and took his suit coat from the back of his chair. And, as she'd done a few times, she stepped closer and straightened his already straight tie. Her hand smoothed the tie. She'd gotten bolder each time. She aimed dozens of signals Brogan's way. This time, she let her hands rest along his waist.
She tilted her head up. His chest rose and fell with a deep breath.
But he never made a move.
All they did was torture themselves.
“Well, this is interesting.” Rian leaned against the door. Didn't knock. Didn't make a sound.
Brogan's work mask slipped over his face as he brushed past her and sat back down at his desk. “It's not interesting at all.” He looked at his computer, flipping back to his email.
Selena stepped away, frustrated. “Don't worry. I'm about to leave so you can work, Mr. O'Keeley .”
Brogan's shoulders inched higher.
“Please, don't leave on my account,” Rian said.
“I have work to do.” She drummed her fingers on the closed laptop case. “I'll find you to get this when I'm leaving.”
Brogan nodded without making eye contact. “Alright.”
She sighed and passed by Rian. He shifted, blocking her way enough that she stopped. He winked. “Nice to see you, Selena.” He held his arms out wide for a hug looking more mischievous than flirtatious. And she thought Cathal was the one up to no good most of the time. She gave him his hug. “Let me know the next time you plan on going out to the bar,” he said .
“Rian—” Brogan grumbled.
He lowered his voice to barely a whisper. “Works every time.” He released her, and she exited the room, feeling the eyes of both men on her back. What had Rian meant? What worked every time? Brogan made her mind a mess each morning when she left. She didn't need to add another Irishman to the confusion.
Brogan stared at Selena's text.
The insurance company fell through again. I have another meeting in 30 days. This sucks.
Figuring out what to do about her confused him more than he needed with the restaurant on the verge of closing.
“Are you with us, Brog?” Rian leaned over to look at his phone. “Ah. I see your mind is occupied.”
Brogan tossed his phone to the low coffee table in front of them. “No. You don't see.” Because they didn't see it his way. Didn't see the responsibility to ensure their future was secure. The fact they were grown men was beside the point. His Ma would expect him to do everything he could to keep the pub open. Keep them together.
Cathal reached forward, a glass of whiskey in his hand, and snagged the phone.
“You don't know the passcode,” Brogan muttered. A second later, Cathal held up the phone, open to Selena's text. “Remind me to change it.”
Cathal smiled as his finger swiped across the screen of Brogan's phone. “You need a lesson on how to text a woman.”
“She's an employee.”
“Who is upset, obviously. Go over there. Comfort her.”
Rian sipped his Guinness. “You like her. Anyone that's seen the two of you together lately knows that. You're trying to hide it, I know, but you're doing a pretty crappy job of it.”
Brogan reached for his beer. Her earlier text had pushed him into having one for a change. “Fine. I'll admit it. I do like her.”
“No shit,” Cathal murmured.
“Spending each morning with her has solidified that I like her more than just the fact she's a pretty face. But it doesn't matter. I'm not crossing that line.” His voice rose as if he needed his own conviction coming from his lips to actually control his body. Because it seemed like no matter what he told himself, it all disappeared the minute she came close to him. The way she straightened his tie. He had no idea if his tie was ever crooked and he didn't give a damn.
She wasn't trying to seduce him. He'd had that before with Crissy. Either Selena was a very talented actress, or she was just as nervous about crossing that line as he was. For his own sanity, he'd take that version for the time being.
“Alright. We get it. You're a saint.”
“I'm not a saint.” He hadn't had a saintly thought about Selena in several months.
“You have a lovely woman with golden eyes issue you a freaking invitation to make a move every single day, and you can walk away. She was two inches from being in your arms yesterday. Had her hands on you.”
Cathal held up his drink. “That, dear brother, makes you a saint. We'll hold your canonization later. Back to the main business at hand. The loan. The bank agreed with certain stipulations. They want all three of our personal guarantees.”
No doubt he'd give his guarantee. He'd do anything for the restaurant .
Rian wasn't as quick to answer. “I don't know. Can we find another bank and run it past them?”
Cathal tilted his head forward. “Damn it, man. Just put in or get out of the business.”
Brogan laughed. “That's easy for you to say. Between the three of us, Rian's name is more important. No one cares about the man in the back that does the paperwork or you, whatever the hell it is you do most of the time, but they know Rian O'Keeley. If we don’t make this work and him to be financially linked to a failing business—”
“He's right.” Rian chuckled. “For once in that pretty head of his. I should go in without any reservations. I'll do it. Because I believe in us. In this restaurant.”
Cathal nodded. “Hell, yeah.”
“Then I'm in, too,” Brogan said. “Not sure that any bank would want you once you give them your financial statement. You have more in student loan debt than assets.”
Cathal shrugged. “Georgetown was expensive.”
“Your lifestyle was expensive,” Brogan shot back. “If we're all in, then there's only one more thing to do.” He held out his bottle of beer, the other two men toasting with him. “Here's to O'Keeley's.”
They all drank and set their empties on the coffee table. Rian leaned back, his long, lanky frame taking up a lot of space. “Glad that boring part is over. When are you going to make a move on Selena?”
“I'm not,” Brogan snapped back. “Both of you, just drop it.” The constant reminders didn't help the situation.
“No.” Cathal leaned forward. “You've never found a woman like this. You look different when you're with her.”
“Maybe it's just lust?”
Both his brothers looked at each other before Rian rubbed a hand over his mouth. “Lust, eh? No. You look far too unhappy for it to be just lust.” He paused, always for effect. “You like her—really like the woman behind all that hair.”
“And eyes. Those eyes get me,” Cathal added.
Brogan growled. He felt it. Heard it. Didn't care that both his brothers smiled wider.
“There he is.” Cathal rubbed his hands together. “You need this, Brogan. Keep it low key. There's no reason you can't move on Selena and not let it interfere with your work. She doesn't seem like the type to try and sleep her way to the top. She's not Crissy.”
“No.”
“To which part?”
Brogan took a deep breath. “She's not the type. I keep trying to put her in that light, and it's not fair to her. I know it.” And, damn, he wanted to kiss her. Just once, give in to his urge to touch her without the fear that something bad would happen. He wanted to be selfish. Do something without thinking of the business first. Without thinking of what was best for his brothers.
And now, those same brothers, the ones who he'd walk away from Selena for, were pushing him straight into her arms. If anything bad happened now, it'd be on all of them.
Rian patted Brogan on the back. “Then go get her. It's a miracle the woman is still interested in you at this point; you are so hot and cold with her. I honestly thought the two of us were the last people on the earth that would put up with your moody ass, but for some reason, there she is. Fire her if you need to.”
“That's been suggested before. I don't want to fire her. She's incredible at her job in the dining room. She's taking on helping with the advertising in the mornings. She's really good at that, too. I never thought I'd end up wanting someone to share the load with running this place, but she and I fit together.”
“Fire her,” Cathal said, a smile already brightening his face. “Then hire her back in the morning.”
“I'm not sleeping with her. No matter what.” He snapped out, more for himself than for Cathal.
“Your call.” Cathal rose and pointed at Brogan's cell phone. “That fact remains that your woman needs someone tonight. If she's having to take care of her granny that way and was dealt a low blow, then she's sad.” He looked at his watch. “It's eight thirty. Plenty of time for you to swing by the store, pick up some wine, and take it over to her.”
“And you're the person that knows what I should do?”
Rian nodded. “Between the three of us, Cathal is definitely the best one for advice on women. He can lure them in and toss them back like he’s fishing for sea bass.”
“True.” But getting past his own rules seemed impossible. He'd known Selena for almost seven months, closely for two weeks. She was beautiful and sweet. Funny. One night. One kiss. She wasn't Crissy. He'd prove that to himself.