Chapter 14

14

B rogan watched her for a moment. “You're joking again, right?”

Selena threw her hands up. “Yes!” She grabbed her purse and fished out her car keys. “Never mind.” She stormed past him. She didn't need this. Him. Not when a good man just got sent to jail because of her. Not when she was busting her ass to help his business stay open. And he won't even acknowledge that they were, at a minimum, friends and walk out together. It wasn't like she was going to straddle him in the middle of the restaurant.

Brogan didn't move to stop her, which pissed her off even more. Katie stood at the bar, looking sad as the police loaded Cathal into the back of the car parked in front of the pub.

“Thanks for giving him the heads up.” Selena hugged her.

Katie pulled back. “Are you going with Mr. O'Keeley to get him out?”

“I'm going, but not with Brogan. What are you doing right now? ”

She motioned to the bar. “I was going to have a beer and drown my sorrows that they put the prettiest man in Atlanta behind bars.”

“Come with me. I'm going to file charges against Simmons.” Selena linked arms with Katie and guided her out of the restaurant and around the edge of the building to the parking lot. She needed a friend. Someone to keep her sane.

“Selena!” Brogan's rough voice called from behind her as they approached her parked car. He hesitated when he spotted Katie. For once, she didn't care about how it made him feel. Her own feelings of being hidden under a rock, out of sight, were too strong to ignore.

She waited at the trunk of her car while Katie paused by the passenger door. “I think I missed something,” Katie said. “He looks mad as hell right now.”

“What?” Selena asked him, not caring about how angry he looked. She was pretty damned pissed herself.

He looked at Katie and back at her. Then back to Katie.

“Were you coming back to finish the project?” He stuck his hands in his pockets. She'd noticed him do that almost every time they were in public together. “Later?”

Selena lifted a shoulder. “I don't know. If this takes too long, then I'll see you in the morning and start where I left off.”

His eyes shifted to Katie again. He looked incredibly uncomfortable. But he made the rules. This entire situation was his own fault as far as she was concerned. She wouldn't end up like her mom, taking pity on the guy and letting him drag her down again and again. Or like she'd been with Jacob like she embarrassed Brogan.

“I'll see you later,” Selena finally said when he wouldn't make a decision and walked to her door. She sat down without looking back.

Katie sat down beside her. “Damn, I hope a man looks at me that way someday.”

“What way?” Angry? Annoyed? Every word that described a man like Brogan when he didn't get his way, and Selena didn't fall in line.

“Stop pretending you two aren't a thing. I won't tell anyone, but it hurts my feelings for you to lie to me.” She changed the station on the radio. “He's really strict about that no dating policy, huh?”

Selena would let Katie in because she needed someone. She needed advice. “Yes. So much so that when I mentioned to him about going out somewhere, he said that wouldn't ever happen.”

Katie's head snapped her direction. Selena concentrated on driving and not on the Audi following her to the police station.

“Ever? As in for-ever? What kind of relationship is that?”

Selena stopped at a red light, glancing in her rearview mirror and frowning at Brogan's scowl. “A shitty one. For both of us.”

“What are you staring at? Is it Brogan?” Katie flipped the visor down and looked behind her. “It's so strange calling him that, but if my best friend is sleeping with him, then I'm at least going to use his first name with you.”

“We haven't slept together.”

Katie stuck her lip out in a fake pout. “He looks so miserable. Maybe you should.”

“I'm not giving him pity sex. He does look miserable, though. But I feel miserable as well.”

After reapplying her lipstick, Katie flipped the mirror closed and changed the radio station again. “You have options, you know.”

“Like what?”

“Well, what are your goals?”

Selena's lips quirked to the side. “You sound like my guidance counselor in high school.” And that conversation had been a complete waste of time.

“I'm serious. What do you want to happen between you and Brogan? Hot, heavy, and quick. Long and sweet.”

Selena pulled into the police station. “Are you talking about sex?”

“No. Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about the real relationship between you two. Do you think what you have will fade away in another couple weeks or even a month or two?”

Fade away. Being with Brogan brought everything inside her alive. How could that ever fade away? The intensity had already shifted. Not lessened. Equalized a little. And she still thought about him all the time.

“I don't think it will fade.”

“Alright. Can you see yourself waking up beside him for the rest of your life?”

Selena turned the car off and faced her friend. “I see myself sad if he's not with me when I think of the future.” She hadn't had a serious thought about finding someone who would commit to her with Mimi's situation. Brogan had been so sweet to Mimi the other morning.

Katie tilted her head to the side. “What if you stopped seeing him right now? How long would it take for you to get over him?”

Selena blinked. Could she ever, really, get over him? She hated how he made her feel, hiding her away, but the sweet side of him kept her from leaving. None of the other men she'd dated, or even met, came close to be the kind of man she wanted. She wanted Brogan without the seesaw of emotions. That Brogan would never get out of her system.

“A really long time.”

“Then quit.”

“The restaurant?”

“Yes. Find another job.”

She leaned her head back on the headrest and closed her eyes. “But I love working there.”

“Do you love it more than you love Brogan?”

“No.”

She snapped her fingers. “So you do love him! And you've kept me in the dark throughout this entire thing. I'd be mad at you if I weren't so happy.”

Selena rolled her head to the side, watching her friend's excitement and feeling dread at the decision. “What's my other option? You said I had other options.” Because acknowledging she was in love with Brogan messed with her head. She didn't have the luxury to fall in love. Not when it meant never moving in or moving forward with a relationship because of Mimi and having to give up something you love, like her job. Definitely, if it meant their current situation. Maybe she wasn't any better off than her mom. Was falling in love this easy genetic?

“There are two more options,” Katie said. “The first is continuing the way you’ve been going.”

“Yeah.” She opened the door. Katie did, too. “But that sucks.”

“You know your last option.” Katie exited the car with Selena. “You need to break up with Brogan.”

Selena turned as Brogan approached them in the parking deck.

“Oh, crap, I did it again. I'm sorry, Selena. ”

Brogan's eyes pinned Selena in place as he approached. “Katie, give us a minute.”

“No.” Selena tilted her chin up. “Katie can stay. This isn't work, Brogan. You don't get to tell her what to do.”

Katie took two steps backward. “It's alright. I have a feeling this is a private conversation.”

“Thank you,” Brogan gritted out. He waited until she'd made it three cars away. He lowered his voice. “I see you told Katie about us.”

“She overheard Cathal at the bar last night tell the bartender that he was the brother and not the boyfriend. ” She poked him in the chest. “Stop thinking I'm running around telling people things about us. And she was trying to help just now.”

“By ending our relationship?”

“By pointing out that I have options if this secret arrangement bothers me, which it does.”

Brogan took a breath. “I understand that. But I don't want to set some sort of double standard for the workplace.”

“You already are a double standard, be it people know about us or not.”

“I've been burned in the past, Selena. Lawsuits. Payouts. I can't afford to mess things up now. Not with the restaurant on the line.”

She didn't know that. It made her body relax. Slightly. That still didn't apply to her. She'd never pull something like that, but she could see his worry about his employees.

“Brogan, do you like me?”

“What kind of question is that?”

Selena pushed away from her car to stand in front of him. Close enough that they would touch if either one of them moved an inch. She kicked her chin out and stared at him .

“Do you like me? Yes or no.”

“Yes.”

“Do you think what we have between us is different than a one-night fling?”

His body swayed as his hands gripped her shoulders. “You know it is.” His rough voice and firm hands almost broke her resolve to stand up for herself. “I tried to tell you that this morning.”

“Then you need to figure this out. Because if you don't want us to break up and you don't want me to quit, then you need to find a different solution. I will not stay hidden and in this limbo position forever.” She would not end up like her mother. Or the way she'd been with Jacob. She still couldn't figure out which category this relationship fell into. The man that strung her along, coming to her when he needed something or the man that cared for her but didn't feel she was worthy enough to acknowledge.

But, damn, she sounded more confident than she felt even though her inner She-Ra cheered at her assertive demand.

His fingers cupped her chin, the pad of his thumb tracing along the bottom of her lip. “Give me just a little more time. I'll try to figure out what to do.” Tilting her head up with the slightest pressure, Brogan kissed her delicately. It soothed over her frustration for the time being. Reeled her right back in like it always did.

It was dangerous loving Brogan, especially when he was still in control.

“I need to call the nurse if I'm going to be much longer,” Selena said as she ran a hand over her hair.

Brogan shifted in the small elevator and glanced at Cathal. His brother stood facing the doors, quiet, the same as he'd been since they left the police station. No one liked to spend a couple hours behind bars. No matter how good a reason he had. Cathal had spent more than a couple of hours in prison back in Ireland after he attacked the man who'd assaulted his girlfriend at the time.

Recently, he'd heard people saying different situations were “triggers” for them. That description fit Cathal. Men with any type of violence or aggression toward a woman triggered something deep inside.

He'd give his brother his space. Let him come back to life slowly. He always did.

“I'll call her for you,” Brogan said to Selena. She'd finally started talking to him. He had a hard time not touching her, putting an arm around her shoulders and drawing her close. For that moment in the parking lot, he'd been worried more that she'd walk away from him and less about Katie finding out.

That's why he'd kissed her. Even knowing Katie watched them a few feet away. It might seem small to an outsider, but it was a big risk where the restaurant was concerned.

“You don't have to do that.”

He held out his hand. “Go socialize with Cathal and Rian and let me.”

“Rian? Where's he?” Selena asked, pulling out her cell phone.

“Cooking Cathal a welcome home dinner.” Brogan slapped a hand on his brother's back. “His favorite.”

Cathal glanced over his shoulder. “You better have a fridge stocked with beer. Any kind.”

“Rian was supposed to pick that up when he brought over the lamb.”

His eyebrows shot up. “He's cooking me lamb?” A stupid grin spread across his face although his eyes stayed severely solemn. “I might have to go back to jail more often if I get Rian's lamb when I get out.”

“I've never had lamb.” Selena winced. “I don't know if I can eat such a cute animal.”

Brogan kissed her temple. “You should try it.” Keeping her in a good mood had become his priority. He refused to dwell on their fight. He hated putting her in the position of keeping their relationship a secret. It wasn't fair. He knew that.

They stepped off the elevator. Cathal made a big deal of putting his nose in the air and sniffing. “Lamb and turnip stew. And the homemade soda bread. He's gone all out.”

“Rian's a chef. Doesn't he usually cook amazing food?” Selena asked.

Cathal opened the door to Brogan's apartment, pushing the door open and letting Selena walk in first before cutting off Brogan and following her.

“When he cooks, it's delicious.” Cathal rubbed his hands together and turned the corner into the kitchen. “The problem is that he never cooks for us.”

“That's a lie,” Rian responded. “I cooked for you last year. Hi, Selena.”

“Hi. It does smell delicious. My stomach doesn't seem to care about Mary's little lamb at the moment.”

Brogan motioned her to a chair at the table, but she didn't notice him. Her eyes scanned over his apartment, lingering on the sitting area he had set up, similar to how it was growing up, facing an electric fireplace. He'd not considered himself sentimental until both his brothers pointed out the unconscious move. Neither one of them had wanted the furniture from their parents' home, so he'd taken it .

“This is completely different from how I imagined your apartment.” She smiled a real smile that eliminated the remnants of their earlier fight. “I love it.”

“I'm glad. Sit. Cathal can get you something to drink while I call the nurse for you.”

“He doesn't have to do that. I can find something to drink.” She took a step toward the kitchen, but Cathal held up his hand.

“No. I've been lazing about in a cell for the past couple hours. I'll get it. Then I'll take you on a tour of the apartment.”

“What he means is he'll show you the balcony. It's his favorite part.” Brogan took her cell phone from her outstretched hand. In a quick move, he snatched her around her waist with his other hand, pulling her close.

She gave a small yelp of surprise and then laughed. Good. He liked that sound.

He kissed her, as softly and sweetly as possible with an audience. He knew his brothers would busy themselves to give them a moment. He wanted longer than a moment with her, like their time spent at her apartment, just the two of them. Well, and her granny.

“I'll be back in a moment,” he murmured and released her. That had pleased her, he could tell. She nodded her head and watched him walk into his office.

He called the contact she'd pulled up on her phone and introduced himself when Tina answered.

“Is everything alright with Selena?” she asked.

“Yes. She'll be home a little later than usual.”

“What time?”

He thought for a moment. It was already seven, and dinner would be at least another hour. “Eleven? ”

“Any time after ten is considered an overnight stay charge.”

Overnight. He glimpsed out the office door. Selena sat with a beer in her hand, laughing at his brothers as if she'd always been a part of their group.

“Are you able to stay overnight?”

“Yes, sir. The charge is more substantial, like I said.”

“That's fine. But I'll pay for it. Don't charge it to Selena.”

The woman chuckled. “Alright, sir. Tell Selena that her grandmother is doing fine. She's had a good day today.”

“I will. Thanks.”

That'd been presumptuous of him. He'd stayed at her place before. She could stay here without any pressure. Take the second bedroom if it came down to that.

He hoped it didn't.

But she'd been right. They couldn't do this forever. He was thirty-seven. Sneaking around to see a girl seemed wrong.

Dumb, really.

But focusing on one thing at a time was productive. Resolve the issue with this business first. Then, he'd figure out the personnel issue with dating an employee. He'd figure out how to introduce it into the public view without jeopardizing his business or giving the employees the wrong impression.

Her phone chimed.

I hope you enjoyed the movie as much as I did.

From Jacob.

He blinked, trying to comprehend what that meant. Had Selena gone on a date with Jacob? Friendly? Romantic? It didn't matter. Nothing with Jacob would ever be friendly on his side. The man had watched her at dinner that night like she was his damn dessert .

I'll swing by sometime next week and pick it up. Or you can finally take me up on my offer to go to dinner.

Brogan's eyes closed with relief. So they hadn't gone on a date. His feelings for Selena had become borderline obsessive. And deep.

The thought of any other man touching her pissed him the hell off. Maybe if they didn't have to keep it a secret, it wouldn't be so bad. He wouldn't have to wonder what excuse she came up with when she didn't accept Jacob's dinner invitation.

His basic instinct was to close his arms around her, shield her from everything. He half-laughed. She'd resent him for thinking she needed it.

He walked back into the living room, spotting Selena and Cathal standing on the balcony. Rian drank a beer, his hip leaned against the counter as he scanned his phone.

“Thanks for cooking.” Brogan grabbed a Guinness and poured it into a pint glass.

Rian lifted a shoulder. “No problem. He handled Simmons on behalf of all of us and managed not to kill him.” He set his phone down and met Brogan's stare. “I think this will all work out. The bar. You and Selena. It feels right.”

The way he phrased it meant a long, long future. Thinking of being without Selena brought a sour taste to his mouth. But a future? He wanted one. But for how long? Better yet. How?

“You're overthinking this, Brog.” Rian pointed at the pint glass of dark liquid in Brogan's hand. “Drink. Stop analyzing everything. Stop running the numbers or whatever you're doing.”

“I wasn't thinking about the bar.”

“I didn't think you were. Don't screw this up with Selena. Cathal and I both like her. A lot. She's good for you.” He smiled and nodded at the window of the balcony. Selena said something to Cathal that made him throw his head back and laugh. “She's real. Down to earth. Isn't afraid to stand up to you. Apparently, she liked your condo, which only leaves her tastes questionable.”

Brogan rolled his eyes. “Just because I like things that are comfortable doesn't mean I have poor taste.”

“Outdated? Is that a better word?”

Brogan held up his pint. “Sentimental.”

“She's also headstrong. I'm sure the two of you will come to blows from time to time if you haven't already.” He tapped his phone. “She's left me four text messages and four voice mail messages. All about that promotion you want to put on.”

“That we need to put on.” Brogan shifted to watch her as she and Cathal walked back into the living room. “If the food can survive without you for a few minutes, why don't we go sit down and discuss it?”

Rian let his head drop back. It didn't matter at this point whether Rian wanted to participate or not, they needed his name to draw in a crowd. The promise of traditional Irish dishes with a gourmet edge.

Brogan sat down on his sofa, pleased that Selena sat down beside him. He passed off her phone. “Everything is fine.”

“Great.”

She looked at the screen and then back at him with a small shred of panic. “It's nothing like how that sounds.”

Good. But he'd keep it to himself just how disconcerting it'd been a few minutes earlier. Or how much he wanted to find Jacob and tell him to stop trying to date his Selena.

She pulled up a list on her phone and waited until Rian sat down in a wide sofa chair before asking her first question.

Brogan stayed quiet, sipping his drink, enjoying listening to the cadence of her voice. The wildflower scent that clung to her hair. The way her hand occasionally brushed over his knee. She was here, with him, not out with Jacob.

None of the women he'd dated since coming to America had brought him so much jealousy. That meant one of two things. Either those women meant far less to him than he'd realized at the time. Or, the scarier prospect.

Selena means more to him than any other woman before her.

Rian stood and left to check on dinner, Cathal making an excuse to help him while sending Brogan a curious look.

Selena shifted to face him. “You were quiet.”

“Just letting you talk.”

“I think that's all my questions for now. Starting tomorrow, I can work on the advertisement for it. Start pushing things out into the world and making it a reality.”

“I want to pay you for this.”

“Really?” She picked at something on her blue jeans, her eyes downcast. “What if I royally screw this up? Waste everyone's money and time? You might have to ask for a refund.” She lifted her gaze to him.

“You won't.” He pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. “But that doesn't matter. Keep track of the time you spend doing it and send me an email every so often. I'll write you a check. You're definitely less expensive than if we hired out this job. And I know I couldn't do what you're doing. I don't have the patience for it. That's why you're the VP of Advertising. ”

“The invincible Brogan just admitted he couldn't do something?” Her lips pressed together. “I'm amazed.”

He leaned down, kissing her along the side of her neck. “I'm not invincible,” he murmured. But he felt like it with her beside him.

She tilted her head, and a sigh escaped her lips. “Your brothers are over there.”

He trailed up her throat until he reached the edge of her jaw. All night. And it still wouldn't be enough time with Selena. He set his hand on her thigh as he skimmed his teeth along the edge of her ear.

“Stay. Tonight.”

“I—can't. You know that.”

He leaned back to see her eyes. “I asked Tina to stay. It was already an overnight charge. I'm paying.”

Her golden eyes didn't blink for a moment.

“Alright, you two, dinner's done,” Cathal called.

She still didn't answer but stood and walked ahead of him to the kitchen. Cathal stood at the counter, a bottle of wine open. “Would you like some?”

“Yes. Thank you. I think I'll need it.” She accepted the glass of white wine and took a sip as Brogan moved past her into the kitchen. Without an answer.

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