Chapter 5
Sleep only took her for a few hours before she was awake again, the fire nothing more than burning coals. She wasn’t cold, Silas’s body heat kept the air under the blanket warm but she could feel something in her chest tighten.
Anxiety slammed into her again, the calming effect of her bath wearing off, leaving her on edge.
She could feel her heart racing in her chest, her muscles tightening and breathing started to become difficult the longer she tried to calm herself.
She closed her eyes trying to block out the feeling of anticipation for the day, of what all this was going to mean.
An arm wrapped around her from behind and Silas pulled her in close, his voice a faint whisper behind her. “I can feel you panicking.” his breath drifting around her neck.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” she whispered.
“After all the countless nights we have spent together, you know I don’t mind.”
A gentle reminder of how he cared for her after carrying her out of the darkness of the dungeon.
He spent weeks with her, held up in a shack tucked away in a forgotten part of Ambros.
She had open wounds and bruises that needed medical attention from not being able to heal, the iron Mavros kept her in stopping her healing ability.
With most of her magic buried, she struggled to heal herself even after the iron was removed.
Luckily he was able to get all the wounds to heal without scars except the one on her face, the location making it hard to tend to correctly. Silas spent every night after that comforting her for months.
After she was well enough to function on her own, they had found the house she had called home all these years and he helped her settle.
Eventually she could see he was getting restless and decided he needed to make his own path instead of taking care of her forever.
He quickly joined the military to fight for his new king, becoming his top general, and had limited time he could get away. They agreed to meet once a year where he would stay a few days before returning back to military life, and she cherished every moment they had together.
She did love him, but then again she didn’t really know what love truly was.
At one point she thought she did but the concept was so unfamiliar she was no longer sure.
She had little experience with it and there was nothing she could give him that would equal all he had done for her.
Until now, she had been in hiding and would never have forced him to a life of isolation when he loved serving his king so much.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked in a low voice.
Tucking her body into him more, she let a smile surface on her face even though he couldn’t see it. “Just how you always have taken care of me. It’s also weird to think we can see each other everyday if we choose to from now on.”
His arm tightened tenderly around her, his face burrowing into the back of her neck. “Whatever you want, Alyra.” She could feel him tense against her before he spoke again. “There is something you should know though before we arrive at court.”
She rolled onto her back so his arm was still around her waist, but her eyes were looking into his. “What is it?” she could feel the shakiness in her voice.
He let out a deep breath, eyes closing before opening again with worry “Declan is part of the court now. He is the King's Commander and he will be there tomorrow.”
Her eyes widened at him, breath catching before turning to stare at the ceiling. She could feel her stomach tighten and panic setting in for a new reason. Silas kept his arm around her, his thumb gently brushing her skin just under her shirt hemline.
Declan.
He had not crossed her mind in many years and didn’t anticipate him being one of the first she would see when they arrived. She had no idea how she would face him, her ex-fiancé who thought she died in a war a century ago.
“Breathe,” Silas’s voice cut through the anxiety in her mind, her chest rising with a deep breath. “No matter what happens, I will be here for you ok?” his thumb still rubbing her gently.
“I have no idea how he is going to react.” Her voice was low. “It's been a century and I have no idea if he has changed or if he would even care if I return.”
“He is not my favorite person in the court, that is a fact.” Silas picked his head up and rested it on his hand so he could look down at her. “He has talked about you often, but I can’t tell if it's out of respect or love.”
“He’s gonna be pissed you knew and didn’t tell him if it’s the latter.” She let a small laugh escape her chest before grinning and looking up at Silas’s golden eyes that were staring at her with a longing look.
“He can be mad all he wants. I would have gone to the grave with your secret.” He gave her a small grin, a confession she knew was true.
Lifting herself up slightly she gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, her eyes meeting his only inches away. “I owe you everything Silas.”
They both stared at each other in silence for a moment, tension building between them like so many times before.
She could see the sun starting to peak behind the buildings out the window behind him, pulling her out of their stare. “Ready to turn the world upside down with me?” A grin tugging at her lips.
He leaned forward and returned a tender kiss on her forehead. His eyes met hers again, his lips forming his own cocky grin. “Ready as ever, My Lady.”
She gave him a playful shove before getting out of bed and walking to her hanging clothes from the day before. She could see out of the corner of her eye him rise out of bed, his sculpted body once again making her heart skip a beat.
Maybe one day, in a world not threatened by war they could have something more than this dance they kept up between them. One day she might be able to prove herself worthy of him, but for now she would keep him close as long as he would let her.
- - - - - - - -
She stopped the grey mare on top of the final grassy hill before Elnora, the large stone castle in the distance. This was the last chance for her to change her mind and turn back, if she told herself the truth, there was still part of her that wanted to.
One look at Silas, and she knew she couldn’t bring herself to turn around.
“You ready?” he asked, stopping next to her.
“As ready as a dead person can be when resurrecting themselves. Time to put on a show.” She smiled, a nervous laugh sounding from her.
Silas smiled back, his eyes not hiding his concern.
She secured her hood up on her head, the sun shadowing her face as they rode down the hill and tried to keep herself focused on the castle in the distance.
They had made good time, leaving early enough so the sun was still lighting the sky as they got closer to their destination.
Once they got to the gate, she kept her head low while Silas talked to the guards standing close by. They had been stopped before entering the giant metal gate with a large blue raven molded into the doors. It was the insignia for Ambros, the same one Silas and other soldiers had on their patches.
“Let's go.” Silas smiled and nudged his horse forward.
She gave a small smile back and nodded to the guards who just stared as she rode by. Being with Silas made her no threat to them and let her pass without hesitation. If only they knew who she was, a fox in a rabbit's den, and she wondered if they would have let her pass at all.
They rode through the well-maintained streets, all the buildings spotless of any overgrowing plants or rotting woods. She had forgotten how magnificent the structures were here. Ketras was clean, but Elnora was immaculate in comparison. She noticed citizens waving at Silas as they rode by.
“You must be popular around here?” she questioned quietly while keeping pace next to him.
“I’m a general of the king’s army, they wave at us all the time.” He just shrugged his shoulders and waved at a few people as they passed by.
Some stared at her as they rode near, others just made it a point to look the other way quickly. With her hooded cloak and fighting leathers she knew she was sticking out compared to others in the city. If she wasn’t with Silas they might think she was some sort of thief or assassin.
“So, what is the plan once we get there?” she muttered.
“I didn’t really have much of a plan.” He gave her a hesitant smile.
“So basically walk in and say SURPRISE!?” she let out a small laugh. “I’m sure that will go over well.”
“We can figure it out as we go.” His smile gave her a little bit of relief but was still full of anxiety. “We are almost there.”
She followed his gaze just up the road, the large castle in clear view.
It sat in the middle of the city, its building surrounded by another high stone wall with one gate to access its inner grounds. She sucked in a deep breath and counted to five before letting it go.
“Here goes nothing,” she breathed as they came to the final gate before her life changed forever.