Chapter 15
After a long bath and food in her belly, she found herself standing in front of the fireplace watching the flames flicker around fresh logs she just added.
She loved the way the flames would dance with no pattern, like a free spirit with no sense of perfection. She missed making them dance on her hand, her power making her able to summon a flame whenever she wanted and it would entertain her for hours on bad days.
She felt a hand slide around her middle and she leaned into Silas’s warm body while resting her head against him. Though she had new concerns about their connection, she still enjoyed his affection greatly.
“You ok?” he whispered against her ear.
“It’s been a long day and I just want to go to bed.”
She took in a long breath before attempting to step forward towards her bedchamber, but was gently turned around to face him and his face dipped down closer to hers.
“I missed you.” He breathed against her lips, his free hand grabbing at the nape of her neck.
“Silas, we need-”
“Take it slow, I know,” he whispered. “But what we did last night kept replaying in my mind all day and I’ve been craving another taste of it.” He bent down and nipped at her bottom lip, a wave of ecstasy spiking in her.
“We can’t-” she mumbled, but he silenced her objection by devouring her lips with his.
His hand on her waist dragged up her side, sliding on the bare skin under her shirt and stopped just under her breast. Her breathing shuttered and any logical thought left her mind when his thumb brushed over her hardening nipple.
“Silas,” she whispered. “I want to but-”
His hands moved to grip under her thighs and hoisted her up around his hips again, her legs wrapping around him out of instinct. Before she could object again, he was moving towards the dining table and set her down on the edge of it.
It was wrong, she knew that, but it was hard to ignore the fire she was feeling low in her abdomen after having a taste of it the night before. One more time wouldn't hurt, and then they can have a long talk about their future or if they would even have one.
She could feel his hardness against her thigh as he pulled her into him while he stood in front of her. His hand traveled up her hips and with one swift move, her shirt was pulled over her head. His lips pulled from her long enough to get the shirt off, a moan escaping from her between breaths.
“You’re very persuasive,” she mumbled against his lips and threw herself at him without any more hesitation.
He took her on the table right there, all thoughts in her mind lost to the feeling of comfort she had been seeking out for so long. It was going to ruin her one way or another, but she couldn’t decide if it was going to be a good thing or bad.
- - - - - - - -
She could feel the warmth of Silas’s front against her back, his arm draped around her waist while his heavy sleeping breath brushed the back of her neck.
She had woken them both only a few minutes prior from a nightmare that jolted her awake like many nights before. It had been a few days since she had one, but this one felt more intense and she wasn’t sure why.
Maybe it was because her magic was coming back to her slowly with training, but there was still a heavy wall keeping her from accessing the rest. The magic might be intensifying the memories, making it feel more real then before and she wasn’t sure if she was going to handle it getting worse.
The sky was still dark out the window, and the fire had long died out making the moon the only light to brighten the space. She could see shadows along every wall and she wondered what it would be like if she could disappear into one sometimes.
There was no way she was going to be able to sleep, not with the nightmare and the guilt of what she had been doing with Silas the last two nights.
She had wanted to be with him for so long, but coming back into society made things complicated in more ways than she imagined. They never had conversations about his past the entire time they knew each other, or what his life goals were.
When he visited they would only talk about what she had been up to and a few castle gossip stories. Thinking about it now, it was odd she really didn’t know that much about him.
She shifted so she was on her back, his arm still draped over her stomach but she felt him wake slightly at her movement.
“What’s wrong?” he mumbled.
“Nothing, sorry to wake you.”
He raised his head and sleepy eyes looked over her face before he sighed.
“Alyra, what is on your mind?” he pulled his free arm under him so he was propped up looking down at her.
“What happens with us now?” she asked hesitantly.
“What do you mean?”
“I care about you Silas, and what we’ve done I don’t take lightly.” She stared at him trying to watch the emotions on his face.
“What do you want to happen?” he mumbled
“Date each other for a while before we sleep together again. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it but I want to get to know you more.” Her voice was a little shaky, nervousness starting to show through.
“Get to know me?” his voice got colder. “You do know me.”
“Enough to be sleeping with each other?” she asked hesitantly.
“You do realize strangers will sleep with each other if they are in the mood?” He pulled his hand away and narrowed his eyes on her. “You weren’t worried about it after the dance or tonight.”
“I guess I’m more traditional,” she sighed. “I did try to say something tonight but you weren’t listening.” She shifted away from him.
“Are you saying I forced you?” he snapped.
“No, you would never be able to force me.”
She could feel the tension building between them, his body pulling away from her and then saw him stand next to the bed.
“Where are you going?” she asked hesitantly.
“Sleeping on the couch.”
She sat up and kept the sheets covering herself as she faced him.
“Why are you so upset? I was just trying to tell you how I feel.” She could feel herself getting angry but tried to keep herself calm since it was the middle of the night.
“Why are you so suddenly worried about us knowing each other?” He yelled, and she instantly felt herself lurch back from his angry gesture towards her.
“I saved you, I took care of you, and I visited you every year for a century Alyra! I’m not some random guard bedding you, in fact I’m risking a lot if Declan or Emris found out we have actually slept together. ”
She could see his chest rising from anger as he stood with his cotton pants now hanging around his hips. Guilt crept into her chest but she still knew she was partially right about the hesitation she felt since being back.
“And I owe you everything for what you have done for me.” She started, clearing her throat slightly.
“I need to know who you are so I can do everything I can to protect you and justify my relationship with you. I’m a queen now Silas, and if something comes up that I don’t know it could harm my title or my kingdom. ”
“Whatever you say, my queen.” ,” he said sarcastically and walked towards the main room without giving her another look.
She was sitting on the bed, mouth gaped open but she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to fight with him, but something inside her told her something was off. There was no reason he should be so upset about her wanting to get to know him.
She didn’t sleep the rest of the night, and when she heard him stir to get ready to leave she didn’t move as she laid facing away from him. He didn’t bother to say anything to her and when she heard the door close behind him earlier than normal, she felt a piece of her heart break away from itself.