Chapter 18
The bath had gone cold long before she heard commotion out in the main room, Silas’s voice echoing on the stone walls.
“Move out of my way!” Silas yelled.
“She doesn’t want you here.” Kaden snarled back.
“Emris ordered me to stay with her in the evenings, are you going to go against the king’s orders?”
She knew that was a low blow from Silas knowing Kaden would be incapable of going against what Emris had demanded. She would go to him tomorrow to get this situation rectified and figure out what to do next.
With a long sigh she got out of the water and wrapped a towel around herself.
The reflection in the mirror was depressing, even for her, with her red ringed eyes and matted wet hair she could see.
Betrayal was something she had experienced, but this was more personal than she had dealt with and she wasn’t sure how to handle it.
She had cried for at least ten minutes in the bath before she could calm herself. The pain in her chest was still there and she could feel the familiar emptiness inside her just like after she was captured.
She had no one left to trust.
Pushing the door open, she instantly looked to find Silas standing in the doorway of the main entrance and Kaden blocking him with tense shoulders. She wasn’t sure why Kaden cared to stick around, or even keep Silas from her, but for once she felt thankful for him.
“Get out,” she snarled.
“Let me explain,” Silas pleaded again, his voice more hostile than before.
“I don’t need to know why you had your dick balls deep in prostitutes, Silas,” she snarled again and started to head towards her bed area.
She heard a scuffle and halted her steps to see Silas trying to get around Kaden with urgency. Kaden barely moved.
“Please,” Silas begged.
Kaden looked at her over his shoulder and she just gave him a sigh while nodding. He wouldn’t leave until he got what he wanted and she wanted him gone quickly.
Silas darted around Kaden who had stepped aside and crossed the room before she could even comprehend his speed.
“Alyra,” his voice sounded next to her and when his hand touched her arm she jerked it away from him. The feeling of his skin on hers made her instantly sick and she knew then all her trust in him was officially gone.
How did she go from wanting to be tangled up with him to being disgusted by his touch?
“I was stupid I know, I should never have gone there but when you said you still wanted to wait I just snapped. One thing led to another and I wasn’t thinking.
” His hand gripped her arm tighter and she clenched her teeth in response.
“You are who I want, you have always been since the day I rescued you. You have so much power and you’re gorgeous.
I felt like I had lost you this past month and I handled it poorly. ”
Her brows furrowed and she curled her lip up at him in disgust.
“Handled it poorly?” She yelled. “I’ve only slept with two people, Silas, you being one of them and I would have never run off to sleep with a random guy because we fought or I was feeling horny.”
She could feel her flame forming around her, a protective measure she used to have when her emotions got too high and it seemed it reactivated with the new amount of magic she was able to obtain outside today.
He stepped back, seeing the flame start to encase her but still kept his stare on her with pleading eyes.
“You know what,” she growled. “We never made anything official so I can’t be too upset.”
She could see his eyebrow raise and she knew he could sense what she was about to say by the look his eyes suddenly held.
“Sleep with who you want to Silas, but it won't be me again.” She didn’t want to see his face as she turned to walk to her wardrobe, her skin starting to get cold under the towel.
When he didn’t walk away and kept watching her, she glared at him and gestured for him to leave. He wouldn’t have any part of her anymore or see any part of her again. He just slumped his shoulders and walked back into the main area.
Once dressed she walked back out to see Kaden leaning against the entrance with his arms crossed and Silas sitting on the couch. She threw his clothes at him, his eyes widening as she glared.
“You can store your clothes in the cabinet next to the bathroom and I’ll have Raine bring you bedding for the couch.” She didn’t let her voice waiver even though she was barely holding on to her emotions.
“Alyra-”
“You did this,” she barked. “And I was stupid enough to fall for it.”
She nodded to Kaden, the silent communication letting him know he was ok to leave her and he nodded back. It seemed for the first time, she would have preferred him stay instead of Silas, but he already served his duty today and wouldn’t ask him for more.
Kaden gave her one last look over his shoulder, a hint of worry in them and then walked out the door without a word. She didn’t know he was even capable of worry, but it made her feel slightly better knowing the brute seemed to care a little.
She turned to walk back into her bedchamber when she heard Silas stand and walk towards her.
“I want you, Alyra.” He wrapped his arm around her stomach and she dug her nails into his skin to get him to release her.
He grunted in pain but didn’t say anything as she spun around to glare at him.
“You want my body,” she growled. “You took advantage of my vulnerability and then as soon as I started to get back on my feet you threw me away.”
“I was angry,” he mumbled.
“Angry that I wanted to get to know you more?”
“It made me feel like you didn’t trust me!” he yelled back.
“Well apparently my intuition was correct.” She sighed and started towards her bed again.
He stood planted in place for a moment, her words obviously hitting him hard but she didn’t care. Well, maybe she did care but she was so exhausted it was hard to tell what she should be feeling at the moment.
She crawled into her empty bed, the first time she had been alone since she arrived and heard him walk back to the couch. She didn’t send for Raine, if he wanted bedding he could do it himself, and just laid with her back to him staring out the window to the night sky.
She was done being weak, done being the person people can walk all over to get what they want. She needed to get back to her pre-war self, and this was the push she needed even though it hurt.
- - - - - - - -
She heard Silas leave the next morning without a word, her eyes fluttering open to the sun barely lighting the sky. The second day he would leave her unguarded, but she didn’t care at this point.
The door opened almost an hour later and she knew it was Kaden by the sound of his heavy footsteps coming towards her. She had just fastened her belt around her waist when his towering figure appeared from around the corner.
“You’re late” He barked.
“You know, I’m getting really tired of you treating me like a subordinate,” she snapped at him. “Stop treating me like I’m lesser than you.”
He just stared at her and then glanced around the room.
“When did he leave?” he barked back.
“A while ago.”
“Left you unguarded again?”
“What does it look like?” she gestured around the empty room and she saw his maroon eyes darken.
She just shrugged and walked past him to the main area to grab her boots by the bathroom door. He followed and stood resting against the table staring at her intently, his hair up in his usual half ponytail.
“Go ahead.” She scoffed.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m obviously an idiot and you told me to be careful.”
He just shrugged his shoulders and watched her finish lacing up her boots, a weird chill going down her back.
“I know what it's like to want love and make bad decisions to achieve it.” His voice was soft and she glanced back at him in surprise. “You’re still stupid for sleeping with him though.”
She glared at him before striding to the door and grabbing her sword. He was close behind.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to run it by you anytime I want to sleep with someone because apparently I need your approval,” she barked and started towards the training area, her ears hearing a faint chuckle from behind.