Chapter 91
Xander
After the tour of the property, I send Savage back to Aurelia so I can have tea with Selene in the empty dining hall.
“How are you really?” she asks over the rim of her cup, dark eyes catching the light of the stained-glass windows next to us.
“I have a black mating mark, Selene,” I say quietly.
My sister’s eyes widen, telling me she surmises its meaning as I have.
The words sit in the air between us. The implication.
The way I am condemned. After a moment, I can’t bear it any longer.
“I don’t know how to feel about it,” I admit.
“But a part of me feels it’s the right and proper way of things. ”
“Fuck the right and proper way of things, Xander,” she hisses, setting her cup down in its saucer with a click. “You belong with your mates, although I’m sure some of them need more convincing.”
“I don’t think they hate me,” I say honestly. “But I don’t think they will ever forgive me. And rightfully so. I…will never forgive myself.”
The golden hall lights flicker across her fair face as her eyes glimmer with tears. “Wild Goddess.” She slides to the floor on her knees, and I slide down with her.
“Selene, don’t. I will be fine.” I take her hands in my own.
She squeezes them back, staring down at our fingers. “There’s nothing I can say that will make things better for you. But you saved me, you must know that. You alone stood by my side when all things were dark. The hatchlings do love you so.”
But I haven’t hurt them yet. I swallow the lump in my throat. “You saved yourself in the end. The hatchlings will always have you to protect them.”
“And I could not protect you.”
I lean down, pressing my forehead to hers. “We must all pay for our darkness. As Ragnar paid for his.”
She hisses, rearing back from me. “That is different and you know it!”
“Is it?” I ask ruefully. “I don’t think it is.” Selene leaps to her feet, getting away from me and my offending words. “Leave me to my fate, Selene.”
My older sister gives me a look. Part warning, part terrible, terrible hurt before she whirls around and storms outside. From my pocket, I slide out the envelope Connor gave me and pull out its contents, looking at the drawings the youngest of the freed captives did for us.
I brush my fingers over the gift I was given. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to thank Connor for this. After a moment, I too leave the dining hall for the library. I need paper and a pen.