Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
“Ihope that your journey here roused your appetite. There is plenty of food to enjoy,” Nathaniel said, gesturing for Honoria to take a seat. Just before she did so, the butler made the introductions to everyone else.
Nathaniel studied Honoria carefully. She had a dainty nose, arched eyebrows, gentle blue eyes, and high cheekbones. She was what most people would call the epitome of beauty. If she were a sculpture in a gallery, then she would be vaunted as a masterpiece.
And yet, for some reason, his gaze kept threatening to return to the woman at the other end of the table.
Charlotte.
Despite all his best efforts, he had been unable to shake her from his mind. All through the evening, while he had been speaking with his brother, half his attention had been on Charlotte.
And now, he had to summon all his willpower, for he could not allow himself to insult Lady Honoria.
She cast a quick glance around the table but quickly returned her attention to him. She offered him a timid smile.
“How does the evening find you?” he asked.
“Well, and you?”
“Well. I trust that your journey did not tire you out?”
“Not at all. It was a pleasant carriage ride.”
Her plate was a modest one, and she was precise with her cuts.
After every bite, she dabbed the corners of her mouth.
Beatrice motioned to him and gave an encouraging smile.
Conversation rose around the rest of the table, and Nathaniel became acutely aware of the silence that existed between him and Honoria.
“How are you finding the food?” he asked, struggling to think of anything more interesting to say.
“It is delicious. I would expect nothing less, however. Her Grace spoke of your crops.”
“We do enjoy a good harvest,” Nathaniel said. He reached out for his glass of champagne and took a long sip, trying to think about what to say next.
“How is your family?”
“They are well. They look forward to receiving word from me. Might I have the tools to write a letter?”
“Of course, I shall have a servant bring them to your room.”
“Thank you, Your Grace.”
A few moments of silence passed between them again. He wasn’t used to this. With Charlotte, it was hard to get a word in.
“Do you enjoy writing?” he asked, the words feeling lumpy in his throat, as though he had entirely forgotten the act of conversation.
Honoria tilted her head.
“I suppose that would be an appropriate description, although I only compose letters. Anything else is best left to those who have reason to pursue such matters.”
“And you do not have a reason?”
“Of course not. The only matter I wish to pursue is marriage. That is the way of things, Your Grace.”
“Indeed, it is,” Nathaniel agreed, taking another sip of champagne. “Do you perhaps read as well?”
“I have read the Bible many times as well as popular books regarding etiquette and the right way for a lady to behave. I’m sure such things would not hold much interest for you, however, Your Grace.”
“We have an extensive library here. You are free to peruse its contents as you wish. Perhaps you might find something that piques your curiosity. I am fond of the classics myself.”
“I would love to hear your opinions, Your Grace.”
Nathaniel was all too happy to share them. He launched into his thoughts about The Iliad and The Odyssey, comparing elements to them, drawing comparisons between the themes, and speaking about the characters that appealed to him.
At first, it seemed as though they had found a natural rhythm of conversation, but it quickly became apparent that Honoria was offering nothing more than small murmurs of agreement or comments that encouraged Nathaniel to continue.
He wasn’t having a conversation so much as giving a lecture. When he offered his interpretation of Homer’s meaning, it went unchallenged. He glanced at Charlotte, knowing that she would have fought back, countered every point he made, and even shown him a new way of looking at the classical texts.
“I think that’s enough of that for now. I would hate to bore you,” he said.
“As you wish, Your Grace,” she replied. She was perfectly gracious, perfectly accommodating. In fact, she was exactly what he had asked for.
He shook the thoughts from his mind, telling himself that she was likely nervous and things would be better when they relaxed into each other’s company.
The main courses were finished, and the plates were cleared. Honoria was sitting with a back so straight it might well have been made of wood itself. The dessert tray was brought over. Clara clapped her hands with delight.
“Cake, please!” she shouted and winked at Nathaniel. Nathaniel chuckled under his breath and gestured to the nearest servant.
“Make sure she has the biggest slice of cake at the table,” he said under his breath.
The servant nodded and did as he was asked. There was cake, a trifle, and a pie baked with apples from a nearby orchard. Cream and custard were offered as well as bread and jam. The sweet scent filled the room. Nathaniel had a slice of apple pie with custard swimming over it.
Honoria had a small piece of trifle.
“Is it really appropriate for a child to have such a large piece of cake, Your Grace?” Honoria asked, leaning into him.
Nathaniel smirked.
“She’s earned it.”
“I see,” Honoria replied, although from the tone of her voice, it was clear that she did not see at all. Everyone expressed their delight at the desserts. Beatrice, who was eager to escape Agatha’s attention, turned to Honoria.
“Might I interrupt?” she asked. Nathaniel ceded Honoria’s attention for the time being, secretly feeling relieved.
Alfred was quick to talk to him.
“You are a lucky man, brother. She seems to be everything you desire. Mother chose well.”
“Indeed, she did,” Nathaniel agreed.
“Although I can’t picture her playing games with us in the garden. She doesn’t look the type to get muddy boots.”
“No duchess should,” Nathaniel replied, pressing his lips together as he was irked by his brother’s words. He continued eating his apple pie, the rich flavor of the fruit mixing with the custard.
He glanced toward the other end of the table. Clara was enjoying her cake so much that much of the icing plastered her cheeks. Charlotte wiped it away, tenderly doting on Clara.
Given that Charlotte did not want to get married, Nathaniel assumed that motherhood was not in her future as well. It was a shame, he thought, because it suited her well.
At that moment, she looked up and caught his gaze. His cheeks burned because it felt as though she heard his thoughts. She offered a quick smile. Her lips were glazed with sugar, making them sparkle.
It was the kind of smile that could destroy a man weaker than Nathaniel. Weaker than the Iron Duke. Nathaniel tore his gaze away and cleared his throat, returning his gaze to his dessert. Charlotte didn’t mean anything to him.
Honoria was where his future lay.
Yet, for some reason, his attention kept drifting to Charlotte.
“Lady Honoria, we ladies are planning to go riding in the countryside tomorrow. Would you care to join us?” Mary asked.
“With His Grace’s permission,” she replied, deferring to Nathaniel.
“Of course, you may,” he said. He couldn’t imagine Charlotte asking permission for anything, unless it was done ironically.
Stop comparing her to Charlotte, he thought. The words snapped through his mind. He was so tense that when he went to grab his champagne, he misjudged the distance slightly and almost pushed the glass off the table. He managed to save it, but the error had not gone unnoticed.
“That champagne seems to be going to your head. Look out, Edmund, this could be your night to win at cribbage!” Alfred said, chortling. Nathaniel raised his glass, as if to show everyone that he was still in control.
Everyone was so relaxed that they took the comment in the intended spirit, and warm laughter rose from the table. All except from the seat beside him, where Honoria remained quiet.
“Would you care for some more?” Nathaniel asked.
“I have had enough, thank you, Your Grace,” she said. This time when she smiled, it seemed to come a moment too late, and as he studied her eyes, he sensed something hidden within them. Beatrice continued speaking with Honoria, giving Nathaniel the opportunity to observe her.
She held her posture well, although he noticed moments when she almost lost it and had to force her shoulders back to their rigid position. While she remained engaged with Beatrice, Nathaniel observed her gaze flitting around the table to other people’s dishes, especially Clara’s.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t like more dessert? Our cooks are always complimented when all the food is eaten,” he said, smiling warmly in the hopes of encouraging her. It seemed obvious that she wanted more.
But again, she declined.
“Thank you, Your Grace, but I am quite satisfied. Please pass my compliments to the kitchen. I could not eat another bite.”
Nathaniel’s brow furrowed. The instincts he developed by keenly observing people over the years told him that Honoria wasn’t being entirely honest.
In contrast, Charlotte asked for another serving of apple pie. She was not one to deny herself anything she wanted.
Not even a kiss from a stranger.
By her account, it had been an accident, a freak occurrence borne of uncharacteristic panic.
Yet that kiss had formed a tether between them.
It haunted him to the point that when they were close to each other, he was tempted to relive that first kiss, to find out if the second kiss would be like the first.
Perhaps it might even be better.
Again, his thoughts spiraled out of control. He finished off his serving of apple pie and leaned back in his chair, breathing deeply to help his digestion.
“I do believe it is time for some music,” Beatrice suggested. She led the ladies out toward the drawing room. The men followed shortly. Once everyone had gathered, the trio of musicians began playing immediately.
“I would be honored if you would dance with me, My Lady,” Nathaniel said, rising from his chair and holding out his hand. He knew what Beatrice expected from him. This was the whole reason why the musicians had been brought to the estate tonight anyway.
“I would be honored to dance with you, Your Grace,” Honoria replied, taking his hand and rising from her chair. Her posture was still perfect.
Beatrice wore a wide smile and lightly clapped her hands together as he and Honoria took to the floor.
They bowed before each other and were soon joined by Alfred and Mary, and then Edmund and Lydia.
His back was turned to the table, and he dared not look back, fearing that his mind would only grow more troubled the more he looked at Charlotte.
Everything would be better once she left his estate, he was certain, although this thought brought with it a strange sense of unease.
With the music filling his senses and Honoria standing before him, it was easy for Nathaniel to think about something other than Charlotte. Honoria was naturally a perfect dancer. She was graceful and poised, never missing a step, and she moved in perfect harmony with the music.
“You show a natural affinity for music,” Nathaniel observed as the dance brought them close together. Her eyes sparkled in a way he hadn’t seen yet, and it made him wonder if she had been wearing a mask since her arrival, one that was only just beginning to slip.
“I have been playing the pianoforte since I was a child, and my mother always encouraged me to learn to dance. She said it would be important given how many events revolve around music. It’s often when I feel most liberated.
Music has a way of freeing the soul, but, of course, every song must come to an end. ”
He wasn’t sure whether she was so familiar with the piece of music that she knew it was coming to an end or that it was simply a coincidence, but the music faded into silence.
“I hope that you feel liberated here,” he said.
“Whatever you wish, Your Grace,” she replied, looking a little sheepish.
She returned to her timid, deferential nature again.
Across the hall, he heard Charlotte’s laugh drifting toward him.
She had risen from the table and was dancing with Clara.
Nathaniel’s gaze lingered on Charlotte for a moment longer than he deemed appropriate.
He was dancing with a woman who was, by all accounts, perfect for him. She possessed every quality he desired. Why were thoughts of another woman even entering his mind?
He excused himself from dancing. Alfred introduced himself to Honoria and occupied her time while Beatrice rushed up to Nathaniel, gripping his arm tightly.
“Isn’t she perfect?” she asked, the words rushing out in an excited breath.
“She is everything I asked for,” he replied, which wasn’t exactly answering the question.
“I know. I must admit your demands were challenging, but in Honoria, I have found the perfect match. She is obedient, beautiful, talented, thoughtful, and the perfect representative for our family. She will stand beside you, and everyone will bask in your glory. They will all say that there has never been a more perfect match, and as for children, I’m sure you’ll agree that she will make a fine mother. ”
“Indeed,” he replied curtly.
Beatrice continued to exalt all of Honoria’s fine qualities, but while she spoke, Nathaniel was still thinking of Charlotte. That woman was the opposite of everything he should want in a partner. She contradicted all his ideas of order and structure. She didn’t even want to get married.
She was argumentative. Willful. Too clever for her own good.
But she was spirited too. She challenged him. She stoked a fire in the air and made it feel as though he was walking through an inferno. It was exhilarating when so much of his life felt rote. And then there was the affinity she shared with Clara, Hector, and Brutus.
But she didn’t care about the things that held importance for him. He needed to shut these feelings down before it was too late.
He turned to Beatrice.
“I am indebted to you for choosing such an apt partner. I look forward to acquainting myself further with Lady Honoria, and when the appropriate amount of time has lapsed, a proposal shall be forthcoming,” he said, as though uttering these words aloud would force him into a particular course of action.
But it wasn’t Honoria he looked at. It wasn’t Honoria he wondered about. It wasn’t Honoria he had kissed.