8. Weston
8
WESTON
The day passes in a blur of pure fucking happiness. We spend most of it in bed, only leaving a couple of times for food, and it’s well past midnight by the time we finally hop in the shower, washing away the sweat and running our soapy hands over each other’s bodies. I can’t stop touching Audrey’s curves—from her plump thighs to the softness of her belly. She’s so fucking beautiful. My cock swells every time I look at her, and we end up fucking desperately against the tiled wall, our smacking skin echoing around the bathroom, eyes locked like it’s the last time. Afterward, we collapse into bed, too tired to speak or think any longer as we drift off in each other’s arms, falling asleep almost instantly.
It takes me a long time to wake up. I’m usually an early riser, but after yesterday, it feels like my body is in a stupor. Sleep clouds my eyes, and I blink it away slowly, my head full of cotton wool. The clock on the nightstand says it’s after nine, and I sit up with a groan, running a hand over my face. All at once, the events of yesterday come flooding back to me, and my heart squeezes tight as I look beside me. But Audrey is gone.
Fuck, did she leave already?
I hear cupboards opening in the kitchen and relax slightly. She’s still here.
But for how much longer?
A boulder seems to settle at the bottom of my stomach, weighing me down. It was easy to push everything aside yesterday and let our desires take over, but now, in the cold morning light, it hits me. She’s really leaving. She’s going back to the city where she belongs. And there’s nothing I can do to stop her.
Goddammit, how am I meant to say goodbye?
I force myself out of bed, throwing on dark jeans and a blue flannel shirt, the same shade as Audrey’s eyes. It’s the shirt I was wearing the night I found her. Somehow, it feels like months ago now, even though it’s only been a couple of days.
How did this girl turn my life upside down so damn fast?
I pad out of the bedroom, frowning at the scent of burning in the air.
“Good morning!” Audrey’s voice calls.
“Morning.”
I reach the kitchen and stare, eyebrows lifting at the sight that greets me. Audrey is on the floor, mopping up a puddle of milk. Her face is streaked with flour, hands covered in some kind of pale gunk. On the counter, used bowls are strewn everywhere, full of cracked eggshells and powdery sugar. There’s a plate stacked with…pancakes? Only they’re not like any pancakes I’ve ever seen. Some are black, some are runny, while others have fallen apart completely. A couple have congealed into blobs of charred batter.
“So, I know this doesn’t look great,” she says as she gets up off the floor, “but I wanted to return the favor and make you breakfast! Only I’m not much of a cook. More of a takeout girl, to be honest. And, well…” She grimaces, gesturing around. “I think with another couple of tries, I might figure it out. The last pancake was a little less black?—”
“You don’t need to return any favors,” I tell her, unable to suppress a smile. “I appreciate the thought, but I’m happy to cook for you.”
Audrey sighs, washing the gunk off her hands. “You’ve done so much for me, Weston. I just wanted to show you how thankful I am.” She catches my eye. “I know all this probably looks more like I was trying to poison you. But seriously, you deserve something nice. I’m sorry this is such a crappy repayment.”
She looks so fucking cute, biting her plump bottom lip, standing in the middle of a floury bomb site. I close the space between us and bend down to kiss her, tasting syrup on her tongue.
“You’re sweet as hell, you know that?” I tell her. “Now, go sit down and let me make you breakfast. I enjoy doing it. It’s not something you need to repay me for.”
She looks hesitant. “Well, at least let me clear up the mess I made?—”
Before she can argue, I steer her into the living room and urge her onto one of the leather armchairs. She already lit a fire, and I stoke it a little until it’s warm and roaring once more.
“Stay here and rest that wrist, okay?”
She nods reluctantly. I’m about to head back for the kitchen when she grabs my hand, pulling me down to her level and pressing a sweet kiss on my lips. “Thank you, Weston,” she says. “For everything.”
Those big blue eyes melt my heart, and I smile at her before heading into the kitchen. Audrey insists on getting up to lay the table, and eventually, we each sit down to a stack of fresh pancakes coated in butter and syrup. But for the first time in my life, I don’t have much of an appetite. All I can think about is the clock on the wall, my time with Audrey ticking away. It feels like it’s moving at double speed.
I wish like hell she didn’t have to leave.
I’d give anything for Audrey to stay here with me, but I know in my heart that I can’t ask that of her. She’s a city girl with her own life back in Denver. I can’t expect her to give all that up to stay with an old grump in the woods, and I couldn’t live with myself knowing I was holding her back, keeping her from her true goals. She’d be miserable here. And that would be on me.
But fuck, what am I going to do without her?
Part of me is furious with myself for letting this happen. Audrey told me from the start that she would be leaving. Hell, she even said it before we kissed, told me outright that this could never be more than a brief fling. But I buried my head in the sand and let myself fall anyway. I guess now it’s time to deal with the consequences.
We don’t talk much while we eat. We’re both lost in our own thoughts, ignoring the birds twittering outside and the tick-tock of the clock on the wall. Eventually, once we’ve cleared our plates, there’s nothing left for me to do but help Audrey pack. It doesn’t take long—just a few clothes and toiletries to put back in her suitcase. I carry it out to her car and she follows, both of us dragging our feet. Once it’s in the trunk, I slam it closed, the sound ricocheting through the trees.
“Well…” Audrey wrings her hands, looking at her feet. “I guess I better get going. Lila is waiting for me.”
My throat is too dry to speak. The forest seems to narrow around me, closing in until it’s hard to breathe.
“This doesn’t have to be goodbye,” she says, taking a step toward me. “I could come visit sometime, if you want me to? Or…well, if you’re ever in Denver…”
It’s better than nothing, but fuck, I want so much more. With a groan, I reach out and pull her into my arms, squeezing her tight. There are so many things I want to say. I want to tell her how much I’ll miss her, how much she means to me, how she’s lit up my life in the time we’ve spent together. But the words won’t come.
Eventually, we pull apart. Audrey rises on her tiptoes and kisses me softly, a gentle goodbye that makes my stomach clench.
Fuck, this feels so wrong.
All I want to do is carry her back into my cabin and keep her with me forever. But I can’t. I knew what I was signing up for when I fell for a city girl, but hell, that doesn’t make this any easier.
“Bye, Weston.” Audrey draws back, her eyes red. “And thank you for everything. I know I keep saying it, but truly, I mean it. Thank you.”
I can’t bring myself to say the word ‘bye’. I can’t do it. Instead, I lean down to kiss her again, one last time. It’s passionate, desperate, and I draw it out for as long as possible, pulling her against me, never wanting to let go. But eventually, she pulls back, smiling sadly up at me. I watch as she gets in her car, closing the door behind her. The engine whirs to life, and our eyes meet through the windshield. Then suddenly, she’s driving away from me, the car vanishing down the dirt track until it’s swallowed up by trees. I stare at the point where it disappeared for a long time, feeling my heart crumble like rock inside my chest.
How the hell do I go back to life without her?