Chapter 4
Cady
Going downstairs, I let him think I’m going along with his plan, but there is no way he’s sleeping on the too short, narrow couch. He’ll never fit. At the bathroom door I turn. “Do you have a different shirt I could sleep in?”
“I’ll find you something. There are spare toothbrushes in the second drawer. Use anything else you need.”
Opening the top drawer, I laugh. Everything is methodically lined up and organized.
Wash cloths, hand towels, bar soap. Second drawer, toothbrushes, toothpaste, band aids, gauze pads and tape.
At the very back is a prescription antiseptic lotion.
The label says for healing and pain. Purchase date was four months ago.
Just before he came home and it’s barely been used.
Remembering the brief glimpse of his scars I had, how would he even reach to put it on?
Finishing my bedtime prep, I slip on the clean shirt he’d left me.
With the lotion in hand, I walk into the living area and sit down next to him on the couch. “Pull your shirt up and turn so I can put this on for you.”
He glances at the bottle. His jaw clenches under his beard. “No. I’ll do it myself later.”
“No, you won’t. The bottle has barely been used. I’m guessing it’s hard for you to reach all the places you’re supposed to be rubbing it on. When was the last time you saw the doctor?”
“Cady, I’ve got this.”
“Like hell you do. You’re being bullheaded, stubborn, and refusing to ask for help. I’m not taking no for an answer. Now, take your shirt off.”
He stands, crossing to the fireplace. “No, Cady, the burns, they—they cover the left side of my shoulder to mid back, my neck and part of my front left shoulder and upper arm. They’re gross and ugly. Your sister saw a part of my neck and .…”
“My sister? When did you see my sister? Wait, you also said you saw my mother in town. They both told me that you hadn’t made any effort to contact them.
Then Noelle said she got a text message from you saying you couldn’t deal with any of us right now.
To leave you alone and give you space. She played it off that you were too injured and sick from the guilt of getting Chris killed. ”
His brow furrows. “I went straight to your house when I got to town. Noelle hadn’t been returning my calls or texts for weeks.
She and your mother were both at home. Your mother let me into the hall and immediately slapped my face.
Then started screaming about how I murdered her only son, the love of her life.
That if it wasn’t for me, he never would have been in the army.
She was going to make sure everyone in town knew I got Chris killed with my negligence.
“Your sister was right beside her. The slap must have exposed part of my neck because she started to gag. Noelle told me she never wanted to see me again, that I looked disgusting and gross. The engagement was off. She was keeping the ring she wore to help pay for the funeral expenses.
“They said you refused to come downstairs because you hated me for getting Chris killed and never wanted to see me again.”
Stunned, I can’t help but stare at him, trying to wrap my head around everything he just told me. Having lived with my mother and her devil’s spawn daughter, I can’t say I’m totally shocked by the deceit. But my god, how could even they be that cruel and selfish?
“It was her, them, that sent you retreating up here like a hermit?”
He won’t meet my gaze.
I clear my throat. “Let’s start with the fact that we both know they are each chronic liars.
“Chris told me he talked you into joining the army because he saw it as his only out to get away from our mother. Next, I never knew you came to the house and didn’t know you were in town until I saw you driving out of town a little over a month ago.
That’s when I was told I needed to give you space.
That you wanted to be left alone and didn’t want to see any of us because it was too painful.
“I was there the day the Army Casualty Notification Team came to tell us of Chris’s death. They told mom you were seriously injured trying to save him.”
His head still down, I continue. “Engagement? To my sister? When did that happen?”
His brow furrows and he glances up at me. “You didn’t know? She didn’t tell you?”
“If I knew I wouldn’t be asking.”
“You know we kind of dated off and on over the years.”
“Yeah, she threw herself at you every time you were home, hanging on you like a leech. Knowing her, everyone assumed you were hooking up.”
His cheeks above his beard turn rosy. “A couple months after my last leave she told me she was pregnant. That the condom must have broken. So, I asked her to marry me.”
My chest constricts and I can barely get the words out. “Did…do you love her?”
Rubbing a hand down his face he looks my way.
“My mom got drunk, pregnant, and took off when I was two. She left me with a dad who was too high or drunk to notice me most of the time. I was wild, unwanted and uncared for until Martha stepped in. That wasn’t going to happen to any offspring of mine. ”
“Say the words.”
“No, I don’t love her, never did. I thought we were both scratching an itch, to use her words.”
Relief washes over me quickly followed by rage at my sister.
“I sent her money to buy the ring and told her next time I got leave we’d marry and if she had the child before I got home to put my name on the birth certificate. A month after she bought the ring, she told me she had a miscarriage.”
“That lying little bitch. She’s been seeing this other jerk on the down low since before the last time you were home. He just gave her the ring she’s wearing. Geez, she is just like Mother.”
Shaking my head, I look at him. “I never saw a ring before the one she’s wearing now. She probably spent the money you sent on something else she wanted at the time. Not to burst your bubble, I don’t think she was ever pregnant. She’s been on shots since she was fifteen.”
“Chris told me to make damn sure I got a paternity test.” He runs a hand down his face. “I’m a fool.”
“No, you’re a good, honest man who tries to do the right thing.”
We sit in silence. I’m lost in the love I have for this man and the fear that all that’s been done to him by my family will drive him away.
How can he even look at me and not see the embodiment of all the pain he’s suffered at their hands?
The deceit? The misplaced blame? The loss of his blood brother? The rejection?
Noelle is so much like Mom. If it hadn’t been for Chris and a couple halfway decent stepdads, I probably wouldn’t have survived due to neglect.
I understand Shea’s up bringing more than he realizes.
He lived unattended in a shack by the river.
I grew up in a fancy house that was populated by people who were emotionally cold as ice.
“Take your shirt off and get over here.” I pat the cushion next to me.
“No. It’s disgusting.”
“You know what’s disgusting, vomit after your dumbass sister can’t clean up after her drunken self in the bathroom you share. And it smells. A few bumps and valleys on your skin are nothing. I am not taking no for an answer. So shut up and let me do this.”
“You-ah, have a little temper, don’t you?”
“It’s call self-preservation. It’s a developmental necessity if you’ve lived with my psychotic mother and sister.”