Chapter 7
“Wait, you let the man sop you up like a biscuit and then made him feel like he robbed the candy store? Are you stupid, or are you dumb?” Tomasina questions.
“Both. Hell, let me find out we need to have your ass committed to Hooked on Phonics for love-starved fools,” Jaina interjects.
The Pisces in me has been desperate to escape the reality of pushing Quintyn away after allowing him to eat my pearl off the bone.
My chest tightens from the reminder of Quintyn’s sad eyes that instantly went blank before he left me in my living room.
I can’t believe I actually let him eat my pussy only to make him feel like shit afterward.
“Don’t get quiet now. What the hell is wrong with you?” Tomasina’s question cut into my silent ministrations.
“Why did I call you two again?” I’m taking a break and casually strolling around the parking lot of my clinic.
“You knew we would cuss you out, so I have no idea. You’ve wanted this man too long to throw unnecessary roadblocks in the mix,” Jaina says.
“Not to mention, it’s been too long since you last had any dick. Two weeks later, I would be telling you heffas about how that man’s dick has been rearranging my insides. Make this make sense, bestie,” Tomasina commands.
While my feelings for Quintyn haven’t waivered, and I’m feeling the pain of pushing him away, Roman’s rebuttal lies heavily within me.
Silence from Quintyn has me thinking that maybe his only motive for coming over was to fuck me.
That thought had my father’s horrible words from childhood entering my mind.
According to my father, a fat girl like me is only good enough to be some man’s secret and mistake if she’s dumb enough to let him have sex with her.
“Fayth.” Jaina calling my name has me tuning back into the conversation while wiping the lone tear sliding down my face.
“Scott,” I whisper.
“Fuck Scott!” Tomasina shouts.
“I’m sorry. Who is Scott?” Jaina asks.
By the time Jaina and I became friends, I was no longer privy to a relationship with my father, so she had no idea who he is.
Mom left my father when I was eight because of his misogynistic views and treatment of not only her but me as well.
Mom said she could handle whatever bullshit he threw at her, but when his venom hit me, she was done.
“Girl. Scott is Fayth’s punk-ass father. Or, in his case, the nigga whose sperm fertilized two of Mama Miles’s eggs,” Tomasina rants.
Not ready to get into any further conversation about Scott, I make my exit from this conversation.
“I gotta get back to work. Thanks for the chastisement though. I’ll figure out a way to move past this.”
“Love you, Fayth.” The affection in Tomasina’s three words hits me like a dagger in my chest, bringing a smile to my lips.
“Tuh. I love your ass too, but I hope figuring it out means the next time we talk, you’ll be sharing the juicy details of Quintyn blowing your back out. Fuck Roman!” Jaina adds, causing me and Tomasina to giggle before I disconnect the call without another word.
Calling my friends for wise counsel and direction proved fruitless because I wanted to call Quintyn instead.
It was easy to avoid my feelings for Quintyn when he wasn’t in town.
Yet, knowing he’s back home and I’m the cause of our silence has been keeping me up at night.
It’s a wonder I don’t have bags under my eyes from the restless sleep I’ve been getting when I finally go to sleep.
As a woman who enjoys a good night’s sleep, I’m in agony over this situation.
Distancing myself physically from Quintyn has been challenging but damn near impossible emotionally.
Loving the man whose presence has been a constant in your life nearly all your life isn’t easy to shake.
I miss Quintyn more now than when he was traveling for work, mainly because I know I’m the reason he’s not speaking to me.
“Why the long face, baby?” Mom asks upon entering the tent I’m sitting under.
I have been melancholy since waking up this morning and thinking about my life.
I would have rather been at home right now, but I know Mom would have a fit, so here I sit.
Mom is having a cookout, and nearly all of my family is in attendance.
Yet, I’m not feeling like being bothered, so I’ve been watching everyone enjoy themselves.
The worst part about it is Quintyn’s presence.
He and Rome arrived together which hasn’t aided in my need to do anything but sit like a bump on a log.
For the past hour, I’ve been fighting the urge to pull Quintyn to the side for a private conversation.
The problem is I’m scared of his rejection, forcing me to hide even more.
“I’m fine. Just enjoying the festivities. You outdid yourself as usual.” Plastering on a fake smile, I stare at the beaming face of my mother.
“You know it. I keep telling your aunts that I’m not new to this. I’m true to it. A cookout is what I do well,” Mom boasts, causing me to shake my head.
“And do. Pop your collar, girl,” I encourage despite feeling anything but jovial.
Something in the distance catches my eye, and my smile drops upon seeing my cousin rubbing her hand up and down Quintyn’s arm. The lust in her eyes along with his panty-melting smile can be seen from here, which causes my blood to boil instantly.
“Uh, excuse me, Mom. I forgot to speak to Quintyn.” Without waiting for Mom’s reply, I leave the tent with quick strides toward Quintyn.
“You look like you’ve gotten bigger since I saw you last, Quinnie. Maybe I need to give you my?—”
“Excuse me, but I need to talk to Quintyn for a minute.” Interrupting my cousin’s thirst trap, I grab Quintyn’s arm and pull him away.
“Oh, now your little ass is jealous. You do know I don’t want your ho-ass cousin, right?” The humor in Quintyn’s tone hits my ears but doesn’t slow my strides.
Speaking to various family and nodding to others, I lead Quintyn inside the house and up the stairs toward my childhood bedroom.
Heat warms the tips of my ears, and my racing pulse prevents me from speaking until we reach our destination.
Pushing the door of my old room open, I pull Quintyn inside and shut the door.
My brother isn’t on my mind now because confronting Quintyn has taken precedence.
I’m sick of this distance between us, and it’s time for me to fix it.
“What’s up, Lay? I don’t think secret missions should be on your scary ass agenda. Did you forget your brother is roaming around here somewhere?”
My bottom lip trembles and my shoulders shake before tears fall rapidly from my eyes upon hearing Quintyn’s dismissive tone.
“Man, fuck!” Quintyn grunts before pulling me into his arms. “What the hell are you crying for, Lay?”
“I-I miss you, and I’m sorry about my meltdown,” I cry.
“Look, I can’t do the wishy-washy shit with you.”
“I know, but he’s your best friend. I don’t want to come between your friendship.
My feelings for you are deep, and I want you, but not at the cost of you losing your friend.
The two of you have been friends for years.
” My spiel ends when the pressure in my chest becomes too much, and my tears continue.
I want Quintyn, but I’m afraid of what it’ll mean for Rome and me and the two of them. I don’t know if Quintyn feels the same and is willing to risk everything for me. The thought of solely being someone Quintyn gets his rocks off with has my chest hurting and my breath hitching.