Chapter 19
I love Quintyn. I do, but being in the middle of his fallout with Rome is eating me alive.
It’s been three weeks since the explosive exchange between Quintyn and Rome after Mavis outed us.
I hoped Rome wouldn’t react violently, but I should have known better.
Rome’s temper and territorial nature regarding me have been in place since we were kids.
I blame Scott for being a shitty father and leaving Rome to feel the need to step up to the plate with me.
Underneath his rage had been hurt, and I take full responsibility for it because I should have told him what’s been going on.
I shouldn’t have been sneaking around with his best friend.
I shouldn’t have fallen in love with the one person my brother deemed off limits.
Yet, what happened to love being love? What happened to my ability to be loved by a man worthy of everything I have to offer?
What happened to all the things Rome has ever said while working to dismantle the damage Scott has caused?
“Hey, bestie. How are you feeling?” Tomasina asks when I answer her incoming call.
I had forgotten Jaina was at the cookout until she called me frantic about everything that went down.
Quintyn and I had just gotten out of the shower, and my emotions were already reeling, so the call only further sent me into a downward spiral.
Thankfully or unfortunately, Jaina let Tomasina know about the incident, and as my best friend, she’s been checking on me every other day.
“Hey. I’m okay.” My tone is dry, but my level of excitement hasn’t been present since everything went down.
In an effort to sort things out, I have asked Quintyn for some alone time and I miss him terribly.
Going from being held by a man whose heartbeat syncs with the rhythm of yours to sleeping alone takes some getting used to.
It’s crazy because before Quintyn, I thrived on being alone.
Now, I spend most of the night tossing and turning, attempting comfort that has yet to find me without him.
I’ve been going to work and coming home, but everything has been lackluster for me.
The joy of dealing with animals on a daily basis has lost its flare and zeal, making my actions at work robotic. I have even called off for mental health days, and I have never done that since opening my clinic. Yet, I’m sure no one wants to see the rivers of tears I’ve been struggling to contain.
“I know it’s hard right now, but you have to trust that love will win in the end.
You deserve to be happy, Fayth. Even if it’s to the detriment of your relationship with Roman.
While I know you love your brother, his stipulation is selfish and unfair to you.
To be honest, it always has been when his dick has been in multiple pussies that you know.
While I won’t browbeat you about Roman’s unfair actions, I want you to stop sulking and go get your man back.
I would hate to see you lose him to someone who knows how tangible love can be. ”
Tomasina’s words cause pain in my chest and water in my eyes at the thought of Quintyn getting tired of my silence. While Quintyn agreed to give me some space, I’m sure he didn’t think it would last nearly four weeks.
“I hear you, but I don’t know how to fix this. I miss Rome. I miss Quintyn and don’t want to lose him, but I don’t know what to do.”
“Have your feelings for Quintyn been real all these years, or have you only wanted Quintyn because Roman told you you couldn’t be with any of his friends?”
Biting my bottom lip, my forehead wrinkles, and my eyebrows knit together while pondering the inquiry. A frown forms on my lips before my answer slams into my mind.
“Loving Quintyn has nothing to do with Rome. I love Quintyn because he saw me for who I was while hiding in a dark place. I fell in love with Quintyn when he showed me how cool he could be under pressure while I was emotionally unable to keep it together. Outside of Rome, no man has been able to affirm me and let me know that Scott’s hate toward me didn’t define who I am.
When he left town, I thought maybe I was still fantasizing about him when my feelings became dormant. Yet?—”
“You saw that Quintyn got sexier over two years and wanted to drop that kitty on him at first sight,” Tomasina suggests, cutting me off and causing me to laugh at her foolishness. “You can tell me, girl. It’ll be our little secret. Oh, wait. You live for keeping secrets.” Tomasina laughs.
“You’re crazy but wrong. Absence made my heart grow fonder.
Falling in love with Quintyn was easy when I realized I could trust him with my heart.
With Quintyn, I don’t feel broken. I don’t feel like a woman whose father told her she was too fat to live.
Or that no man will desire me long enough to commit to me.
With Quintyn, I know I can have the white picket fence, the babies, and the dogs. ”
“Oh, Lord. Babies, bestie? Let’s get past this hiccup before you lay your womb bare for Quintyn.”
Me:
I know you don’t want to talk to or see me, but I want you to know I love you. Please don’t keep shutting me out. I can’t take it.
Wiping the lone tear from my face after texting Rome, I move to send my next message.
It’s been another two weeks of silence from Rome, and despite Mom urging Rome to let the situation go, he has yet to reach out to me.
As a result, my feelings are in shambles, and I have maintained my silence with Quintyn out of guilt and uncertainty.
Rome isn’t the only stalker in the family as I’ve driven by Quintyn’s job and apartment building just to be close to him.
My scary ass hasn’t been able to call him or announce my presence at the two locations he’s been to.
My mind has been telling me that Quintyn is no longer interested and is moving on because being with me isn’t worth his time.
Me: Please don’t give up on me. I know I haven’t been showing it, but my love for you hasn’t changed.
Holding my breath, I wait to see if Quintyn will respond to my message. My heart beats wildly and I’m frozen while staring at my screen.
Mr. Lays Pipe:
*read*
My eyes begin to burn the longer I stare at the screen after seeing that Quintyn has read my text.
One minute passes… two minutes... three minutes.
Tears cloud my vision when five minutes pass, and Quintyn doesn’t respond.
Exiting my message app, I drop my phone inside my purse, sigh, and shake myself loose before returning to work.
Rejection mingles with dejection, and I swallow the cry bubbling in my belly.
I have patients to see and a clinic to run, so falling apart can’t happen…
at least until I’m in the comforts of my home this evening.