32. Savannah
32
SAVANNAH
Since the days at Starfire, smelling the grass and being surrounded by horses used to remind me of Huxley. Today, it highlights his absence, something that grinds me into useless sands in the wind. As I walk through Mrs. T’s farm, I throw myself into the work with a ferocity that inters my fragmented heart. I’m here to tend to the horses, majestic creatures whose strength somehow mirrors my resolve to keep going.
The farm settles into a hush as the afternoon wanes. I exhale deeply, finding a rough sort of satisfaction in stacking the bales of hay neatly in the barn. The day’s physical labor intertwines with the emotional effort it takes to keep myself composed. It’s in these quiet moments when the distractions fade that the dam I’ve carefully constructed against my emotions begins to crack.
“Leave those for the morning, Savannah,” Mrs. T calls from across the barn.
I hoist another bale onto the pile, wiping the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. “Ah, that’s okay, Mrs. T. I’ve still got some pent-up energy to burn off.” My muscles tense and relax with each movement .
“Goodness, Savannah. If you were my daughter, I’d surely have a hard time with you,” she responds, amused and frustrated at the same time.
Mrs. T wipes her hands on her jeans and strides over with that determined look I know all too well—her insistence. “You’ve done more than enough today. Why don’t you take tomorrow off? I’ll have my neighbor handle the rest,” she says, perhaps reminding me about the ‘single farmer neighbor’ she previously mentioned had taken an interest in me.
Reluctantly, I finish up. As I gather my tools, Mrs. T remarks, “Someone’s here to see you.” Her expression shifts, twinkly and expectant, as if to say, ‘Finally!’
It must be a man, then. It seems her mention of the neighbor wasn’t an attempt at matchmaking after all.
Clad in soiled overalls, with the scent of sweat and barn lingering, I’m hardly prepared to meet anyone, especially not Huxley. He’s seen me dirty before, even in our first encounter. Yet, it’s been ages since I last saw him, and I wish I were in something more presentable. The flicker of hope that it might be him tangles with my lingering resentment.
But as I brace myself, turning toward the barn door, it’s the last person I want to see who steps into the dimming light—Fabian Gill.
His arrival feels as unwelcome as a storm cloud on harvest day. It’s almost as if he’s been shadowing me, lurking at the edges of the life I’ve tried to rebuild. And those eyes, do they carry a hint of hope? Does he think seeing me alone, without Huxley, might mean I’m available?
I don’t need a post-breakup getaway or an old flame reignited. All I yearn for is peace, maybe even solitude. But Fabian, haunted by his own troubles, clearly has other plans, ones that don’t include allowing me to move on.
“Savannah, please. I really need to talk to you.” Fabian’s voice lacks its usual forcefulness, replaced now by a surprising tone of desperation.
I eye him warily, debating whether to engage or keep my distance. His presence alone thins my patience like ice in early spring.
“Then talk,” I decide.
“Take a ride with me,” he suggests, nodding toward his car at the end of the driveway.
“No. We talk here,” I insist, crossing my arms.
“Okay,” he acquiesces. “The date’s been set. The court won’t wait. Kayla can’t wait!” There’s a tight urgency in Fabian’s voice, his eyes searching mine for any flicker of response.
The mention of ‘court’ sends a jolt through me, harking back to the chaotic days of Kayla’s kidnapping. Back then, I made it clear to Fabian. I wasn’t about to play pretend in a family that wasn’t mine.
I stiffen, my grip on my backpack tightening. “What are you talking about?”
He continues, “My divorce from Juliet is nearly final. First, it was about the estates, but soon it’ll be Kayla’s turn. It’s really happening, Savannah.”
A headache begins to pulse at my temples. “Surely your lawyers can handle this. You have enough resources to counter Juliet’s tactics.”
“The custody battle is more intense than I anticipated. Juliet and her lawyers are relentless. She’s made it clear she’ll fight to the end. And you know the courts. They often favor the mother.” Fabian’s tone is grim, reflecting the severity of his plight.
“You’ve been nothing but an excellent father to Kayla, and the court should recognize that.”
“The kidnapping didn’t help.”
“Fab— ”
“Don’t lash out at me just yet,” he interrupts. “I don’t regret that the police got involved. All that mattered was Kayla’s safety. And Huxley, he saved her. I owe him everything. But you know this will complicate my case.”
“And you’re here to ask me to step in as her mother?”
He nods, cutting straight to the point. “Yes, that’s exactly why I’m here.”
I take a step back, needing space to breathe, to think.
“I can testify for you, Fabian, as a character witness,” I offer, my words measured.
“I appreciate that, Savannah. But it won’t be enough. I will need compelling evidence to show that I can provide Kayla with a safe and stable environment. And it’s not just a home, but the people in it. Parents.” He emphasizes the last word, making the stakes clear.
I close my eyes in regret. I’ve never been one to take shortcuts, especially when a child’s future is at stake. “I won’t participate in a charade, Fabian. Nobody wins in that scenario. Kayla doesn’t deserve to be caught in a lie. I thought we had moved past this.”
Fabian steps closer, his expression hardening. “Savannah, she looks up to you like a mother. How can you call that a lie?”
I shake my head, standing my ground. “Kayla does not see me as her mother, and you know it. You wouldn’t feed her lies, hoping she’d start to believe them, would you?” Anxiety gnaws at me. The thought of him distorting reality for Kayla is unbearable. If he has, I hope he realizes the irreversible damage he could cause.
“I haven’t told Kayla anything that isn’t true,” he assures me hastily. “But think about it. We could be a real family. Isn’t that what Kayla needs? Not just for this court battle, but for the rest of her life?”
“Fabian, stop right there! ”
“We were good together, admit it. I know it was my fault that we parted. I just gave up on us, moving on without a fight.”
“We both agreed it was for the best. And we remained friends, did we not?”
“But it’s because I failed to convince you that you mean so much more.” His eyes are searching for agreement. “Look how my life turned out without you. Marrying Juliet was the biggest mistake of my life!” His words tumble out hurriedly as though afraid he’d lose the courage. His eyes dart away, then back to mine. “But we’ve all grown up now. Please, Savannah, isn’t there a part of you that still?—”
I let out a tired sigh. “Read my lips, Fabian. I don’t have feelings for you anymore. If there were anything left between us, I wouldn’t be avoiding you now, especially not with Kayla’s well-being at stake. I’ll stand by you in court, but that’s the extent of what I can offer.”
I turn away, heading for my car. Behind me, I can feel Fabian’s frustrated gaze burning into my back. I’m weary, worn thin by dealing with a man who clings to visions of a future I’ll never share.
“I’m surprised you haven’t mentioned him !” Fabian yells after me, a note of spite in his tone.
I keep walking, ignoring him, my mind filled with thoughts of Huxley. My heart always drifts back to my Hugs, and part of me wishes I could just turn around and tell Fabian outright: I love Huxley .
“Trouble in paradise?” Fabian taunts as I slam the car door shut.
I sit in the silence of my car, waiting for Fabian to leave. Only when he’s gone do I start the engine and pull onto the road. A short distance away, I notice a car parked oddly on the side. It’s an unusual sight for this quiet road that mostly serves locals. The car makes a sharp U-turn and speeds off.
Goosebumps prickle my skin. It’s not like him, but… is Hux spying on me?