Chapter 12 #2
Julia swallowed that sound with her next kiss, lingering where Vic’s pulse fluttered.
She could feel Vic fighting it — the instinct to think, to list, to catalogue. She recognised the way Vic’s fingers flexed against her, then relaxed, then flexed again.
“This is your only job right now,” Julia whispered between kisses. “Feel. That’s all.”
Vic’s hands slid up Julia’s back, clutching at the fabric of her top, then slipping under it to find skin.
Heat flared where their bodies touched. Where their legs brushed. Where fingers trailed.
Julia let herself sink into it — the taste of Vic’s mouth, the familiar curve of her waist, the way she responded to even the lightest touch like every nerve ending was wired straight to her heart.
Their kisses grew more frantic for a moment, then slowed again as Julia took control of the pace, guiding them away from urgency and into something deeper. Something that said: We’re not stolen tonight. We’re allowed.
She murmured reassurances against Vic’s skin, even as her hands and mouth mapped out old, beloved territory.
You’re safe. You’re loved. You don’t have to hold anything up right now. Let go. I’ve got you.
Julia’s hands met Vic’s panties and eased them down as Vic raised her hips to help.
She pulled them off over Vic’s ankles leaving Vic naked and beautiful on the bed before her, the soft light giving her body a lovely glow.
Julia knelt between Vic’s legs and dipped her head, kissing Vic’s abdomen, feeling her body respond, her mouth moving lower, across the crease of her groin. Then lower again until she drew her tongue slowly over Vic’s clitoris enjoying the moan it elicited.
“Jules,” Vic whispered, voice thick. “Don’t stop.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Julia said.
Julia licked her again and again in long slow strokes from bottom to top until Vic was making quiet, unguarded noises, the kind she only ever made when she was right on that line between pleasure and release, between holding on and finally letting go.
“Let yourself fall,” Julia murmured, lips brushing the corner of her labia. “I’ve got you.”
Julia took Vic’s clitoris in her mouth and sucked slowly as the fingers of her right hand found their way inside Vic, pressing insistently as they did.
Julia felt Vic’s whole body rise to meet her mouth, her breathing quicken, her legs begin to quiver.
She felt Vic’s pussy clenching tight around her fingers.
One moment, Vic was still trying to brace against it, trying to cling to some invisible ledge of control; the next, her body shuddered again and she was gone — eyes squeezed shut, breath catching, her whole being surrendering to the wave.
Julia licked her through it, followed by kissing her softly and tenderly after the wave receded, across her pussy, her pubic hair, her groin, hands firm and sure, grounding.
When the shudders subsided, Vic collapsed back into the pillows, chest heaving. For a long moment, she simply lay there, eyes closed, tears leaking quietly from beneath her lashes.
Julia’s heart ached as she moved up Vic’s body until their faces were inches apart.
She kissed her tears away.
Vic opened her eyes slowly, meeting her gaze with a look so raw, so open, Julia felt like she might come apart herself.
“I forgot,” Vic whispered. “It could feel like this.”
“Like what?” Julia asked gently.
Vic swallowed. “Like… being loved. Not… evaluated.”
Julia stroked her cheek. “I am not marking you out of ten.”
Vic gave a tiny laugh, breathless. “Well, that’s good, because I definitely cried in the middle of that.”
“That was my favourite part,” Julia said.
“Pervert,” Vic muttered fondly.
Julia smiled and leant to kiss her again. This time, Vic kissed back with steadier hands, pulling Julia down until their bodies aligned, warmth meeting warmth.
It wasn’t just about release anymore. It was about connection, restoration. About two people who’d been living side by side in crisis mode finally turning to face each other again.
When Julia eventually let herself be coaxed into stripping off and lying fully beside Vic, their limbs tangling, she let Vic touch her in return.
Gently at first. Vic’s fingers seeking out the persistent wetness between her legs.
Vic’s fingers pushing inside of her, feeling her body open up to welcome them home.
“Oh, Vic… that feels so good.”
Vic’s voice was breathy in her ear. “You feel so fucking good.” Vic rolled on top of her and her fingers began to fuck Julia, deep and slow, in a rhythm that Julia knew was exactly what she needed.
They moved together in that old, familiar rhythm — the one built over late nights and early mornings and stolen weekends and long, difficult years.
A rhythm that had carried them through arguments and reconciliations, through funerals and celebrations, through all the versions of themselves they’d been.
It wasn’t perfect. It didn’t need to be.
It was them.
Julia rocked against Vic’s hand grinding her clitoris as she did so. She felt the delicious pressure that she knew would tip her over the edge.
She relaxed into it, knowing the orgasm would overtake her and it did, flooding through her body, through every tiny atom of her being. Julia saw a kaleidoscope of colours as she climaxed with Vic’s fingers deep inside her.
As she opened her eyes, Vic was above her smiling, then kissing her again.
“You were right,” she whispered.
Later — much later — they lay tangled together in the dim light, sheets rumpled around their bodies, the fire burning low.
Vic’s head rested on Julia’s shoulder. Her hair was damp at the temples. She looked utterly wrung out and softer than Julia had seen her in months.
Her hand rested over Julia’s heart, fingers lazily tracing the outline of her collarbone.
“I feel…” Vic began, then frowned slightly, searching. “Lighter.”
“That’s what happens when you stop trying to personally keep the earth spinning,” Julia said.
Vic made a small, sleepy sound. “I still want tomorrow to be lovely for them.”
“It will be,” Julia said. “Because you’re you. And because we’re all here. That’s enough.”
Vic nodded against her. “No more spreadsheets tonight,” she murmured.
“None,” Julia agreed. “If I see you even look at a bullet point, I’ll confiscate your laptop.”
“You’d have to fight Erin for it,” Vic mumbled. “She’s secretly on my side.”
“Erin wants an hour alone with her wife,” Julia said. “Trust me, she’ll burn your schedule if it gets in the way.”
Vic’s lips twitched. “Maybe we should… help with that.”
“Already planning on it,” Julia said.
She felt Vic smile properly against her skin.
Silence settled again — not heavy, not brittle. Easy. Warm.
After a while, Vic spoke again, very softly. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For reminding me I’m not just… useful,” Vic said. “That I’m… loved. Wanted. Even when I’m… messy.”
Julia’s throat constricted. She tilted Vic’s chin up and kissed her, slow and reverent.
“You are the love of my life,” she said. “Every version of you. List-making, meltdown-having, pumpkin-smeared… all of it. Nothing changes that.”
Vic’s eyes shone. “Even if I colour-code the stockings?”
“Let’s not get carried away,” Julia murmured, smiling.
Vic laughed, then yawned, the sound almost startling in its honesty.
“Sleep,” Julia said. “Before you remember something else that needs organising.”
Vic shifted closer, nestling into her like she was finally allowing herself to be held.
Julia lay awake a little longer, listening to Vic’s breathing deepen, feeling the last of the tension leave her body.
She thought of Alex and Erin downstairs. Of Hyz and the triplets dreaming of snow and Santa. Of dogs sprawled in hallways like furry landmines.
Of a castle full of people who, against all odds, had found each other.
No one here wants perfect, she thought. They want together.
Tomorrow, she decided, she’d fight for that. Not for the timetable. Not for the optics. For the heart of it.
For Vic’s wild, stubborn, frightened heart. For Alex and Erin’s bruised, defiant love. For four children who deserved messy, bright, unforgettable memories.
She pressed a final kiss to Vic’s hair.
“Tomorrow,” she whispered, to no one and everyone. “We do Christmas your way, love. With heart. Not spreadsheets.”
Vic murmured something unintelligible and burrowed closer.
Outside, the snow kept falling.
Inside, for the first time that day, Julia let herself close her eyes and rest — knowing that, for tonight at least, the only thing she had to hold together was the woman in her arms.