Chapter 14
ERIN
The castle was finally quiet.
Not silent — no, nothing at Balmoral was ever silent — but quiet in the way Erin had stopped believing was possible. A warm, heavy hush settled over the halls as the last of the children stopped chattering and flopped into their beds, exhausted from sugar and snow and reindeer enchantment.
The dogs, scattered like furry obstacles across the corridor, snored. A draft sighed around a corner. Somewhere far away, Mrs. MacLeod muttered at the dishwasher.
But everything that mattered… was asleep.
Matilda with her new plush fox tucked under her arm.
Florence curled up like a comma, golden hair hiding half her face.
Frank starfished across the duvet belly swollen with christmas food under his reindeer pyjamas.
Hyzenthlay with her rabbit on one side and a clipboard of “Christmas Data Notes” on the other.
Erin stood in the doorway of the children’s room for a long, still moment, watching four small chests rise and fall in steady rhythm.
We did this, she thought.
We made this life.
Alexandra appeared at her side, brushing her shoulder lightly — not grabbing, not clinging, just a soft, grounding touch that felt like the first real breath Erin had taken all day.
“They look peaceful,” Alex whispered.
“They wore themselves out,” Erin whispered back. “We all did.”
Alex leaned against her, head gently resting against Erin’s temple.
“Thank you,” Alex murmured. “For making today what it was.”
“You did most of it,” Erin said.
“No,” Alex countered softly. “You were the heart of it.”
Erin inhaled sharply — too sharply. Alex didn’t press the moment; she simply threaded her fingers through Erin’s, squeezed once, and whispered:
“Come to bed with me.”
Erin nodded.
They closed the children’s door quietly behind them.
Their bedroom felt different tonight.
Warmer. Dimmer. The fire glowed low, shadows dancing along the plaid rug. Outside the window, snow drifted past like slow-moving stars.
Erin toed off her boots and stood there for a second, letting the weight of the day slide off her shoulders.
Alex watched her from near the window, fingers resting along the frame, moonlight catching her ash blonde hair and highlighting her beautiful features in a way that made Erin’s breath catch.
Her wife.
Her queen.
Her Alex.
Alex turned and held her gaze — and Erin felt something inside her unlock.
Alex took a step closer.
Then another.
Then her hands tucked themselves lightly at Erin’s waist, thumbs brushing upward, warm even through the fabric of Erin’s shirt.
“Hi,” Alex whispered.
Erin let out a shaky breath. “Hi.”
It felt like a beginning — though they were six years and three children and endless storms into this marriage.
Alex rested her forehead against Erin’s chest.
“I’ve missed you,” Alex whispered.
Erin closed her eyes.
“Alex,” she breathed, “I’m right here.”
“But you haven’t been,” Alex said, voice barely audible. “Not really. And neither have I. We’ve been… surviving. Managing. Passing like ships. I’ve missed you so much it hurt to even think about it.”
Erin’s chest ached.
She slid her arms around Alex’s shoulders, pulling her in. “I know. I feel it too.”
Alex’s voice broke on a soft exhale. “I want you. Not just the idea of us. You.”
Erin held her tighter, swallowing the emotion swelling in her throat.
“We’ll find our way back,” Erin whispered into Alex’s hair. “We already are.”
Alex lifted her head, eyes gleaming. “Do you want to talk first, or are you going to kiss me now?”
Erin choked on a laugh. “I… maybe both?”
Alex smiled — not the public smile, not the carefully curated royal one. This was soft. Hungry. Honest.
“Come sit with me,” Alex murmured, tugging her toward the bed.
They sat side by side, legs brushing. Erin felt warmth bloom where their thighs touched.
For a moment, neither spoke.
They just breathed the same air.
Then Alex laced their fingers together and said, “Erin. I was scared.”
Erin’s chest tightened. “Of what?”
“That we’d lose us in all of this,” Alex said. “The duties. The kids. The pressure. The expectations. Everything that keeps trying to pull us apart.” She swallowed. “I was scared you’d stop wanting me.”
Erin jerked as if struck. “Lex, my love. How could you think that?”
Alex’s voice was brittle around the edges. “Because we haven’t… properly touched each other in months. Because you’ve been exhausted, and I didn’t want to add to your burden. Because every time you looked at me, you looked… tired. And I thought I was making you tired.”
Erin reached out and cupped Alex’s cheek gently, forcing her to meet her gaze.
“You never tire me,” Erin whispered. “Life tires me. Parenting tires me. The world tires me. But you?” She shook her head. “You’re where I rest.”
Alex’s eyes softened, filling with tears she blinked away quickly.
“You’re where I breathe,” Erin added, voice steady. “I just… didn’t know how to ask for time. For space. For us. I didn’t want to be selfish.”
“Selfish?” Alex repeated, incredulous. “To want your wife? To want intimacy? To want connection?” She shook her head, smiling sadly. “It’s not selfish. It’s human.”
Erin let out a long, shaky breath.
“And you?” Erin asked softly. “What have you been afraid to say?”
Alex hesitated only a second before whispering, “That I need you. Not just as a co-parent. Or a partner. I need you because you’re mine. And because I’m yours. And because I remember what it felt like when we couldn’t get enough of each other. I remember how safe you made me feel.”
Erin lifted Alex’s hand and kissed her knuckles slowly, reverently.
“I still want you,” Erin murmured against her skin. “Every day. Every moment. I want to touch you. Hold you. Be close to you. And I hate that life keeps pulling us in a hundred directions.”
Alex inhaled, trembling. “I thought maybe that desire had faded. That maybe it was just… what time does to people.”
Erin’s heart twisted.
“Desire doesn’t scare me,” Erin said. “Losing you does.”
Alex’s breath hitched.
She leaned closer, forehead brushing Erin’s, noses almost touching. “Then don’t lose me,” Alex whispered. “Stay with me. Tonight. Fully.”
Erin closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the softness, the closeness, the quiet ache that had lived inside her chest for months.
“I want to,” Erin whispered. “God, Alex, I want to.”
“Then kiss me,” Alex breathed.
Erin didn’t hesitate.
Their lips met softly at first — a warm brush, a gentle promise.
Then again.
And again.
Heat built slowly between them, like a tide rising.
Alex’s fingers slid into Erin’s hair, tilting her head, deepening the kiss.
Erin made a soft sound she hadn’t made in months — a low, wanting hum from the centre of her chest — and Alex shivered in response.
“You taste like warmth,” Alex murmured against her lips.
“You taste like home,” Erin whispered back.
Alex’s breath hitched again, and Erin took advantage of that moment, kissing her deeper, pressing her tongue into Alex’s mouth and enjoying her moan in response — slow, sure, intentional.
Alex melted.
Erin felt her soften, then ignite.
The kiss shifted from soft to hungry in a heartbeat — months of longing threading through it, months of missed chances, months of exhaustion and love and ache all pouring into it.
Alex climbed into Erin’s lap without breaking the kiss. Erin’s hands found her waist instinctively, gripping gently as heat curled low in her stomach.
Alex’s mouth parted under hers, inviting, warm.
Erin’s pulse thundered.
Alex whispered against her lips, “Erin…”
Erin pulled back just enough to look at her. Alex’s cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen, her eyes dark with want and something deeper — trust.
“Let’s take our time,” Erin murmured. “I want to feel everything.”
Alex nodded, exhale trembling. “Yes. Please.”
Erin lifted her hand and brushed a thumb over Alex’s lower lip, memorising the softness. Then she leaned in and kissed her again — slower, deeper, tasting warmth and gratitude and years of love layered into every movement.
Alex’s hands explored Erin’s shoulders, her neck, the familiar shape of her body. Each touch lit Erin up from the inside.
Clothes began to loosen — buttons undone, jumpers slipped off, the soft sound of breath catching in quiet moments.
None of it rushed.
None of it careless.
It was deliberate.
Tender.
Starved.
Alex kissed down Erin’s jaw, over her throat, whispering words that made Erin’s chest ache.
“I love you.”
“I’ve missed you.”
“You’re mine.”
“I want you.”
“Stay with me.”
Erin breathed those same words back against Alex’s collarbone, her shoulder, the soft curve of her neck.
Feeling Alex naked against her, Erin felt her body responding. She felt wetness pooling between her legs.
Erin reached between Alex’s legs to feel the same deep wet desire there.
“Oh…” Alex gasped. “Please….”
Erin didn’t need to be asked twice, her fingers pressed inside Alex, sliding inside her in the way they always used to, fitting perfectly inside her. There was nowhere she would rather be.
Erin rolled so she was on top of Alex, her body longer than Alex’s, Alex’s legs parted beneath her, welcoming her home.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” Erin murmured into Alex’s ear and felt Alex quiver beneath her. She felt Alex’s right hand seeking out between her legs, finding Erin’s own wetness and pressing deep inside her.
Erin moaned. It felt so good to feel Alex inside of her and to at the same time feel Alex’s pussy warm and wanting around her own fingers. Erin began to fuck Alex at the same time as Alex’s fingers moved inside her own body.
It felt like no time at all before Erin felt her climax approaching. Alex could do that to her, every time.
“I’m so close,” Erin whispered. “Come with me…” Alex’s blue eyes flashed beneath her, her pupils blown wide with lust. She nodded and Erin leaned down and kissed her deeply, her tongue reaching deep in Alex’s mouth. She felt Alex’s body tightening beneath her in that old familiar way.
Oh fuck.
Erin’s orgasm crashed through her body huge and unrelenting, long and fucking beautiful. She felt Alex’s climax too, the shudders running through both of their bodies all at the same time, joined by their fingers and pussies and tongues.
As she opened her eyes and broke the kiss, she smiled at Alex.
“That was…”
“Incredible…” Alex responded.
“Yes, it was.”
They kissed again, more tenderly this time.
“You’re crying,” she whispered.
Erin hadn’t realised.
“I’m happy,” Erin murmured.
Alex kissed her tears away. “Then let me make you happier.”
Erin exhaled shakily and nodded.
And what followed wasn’t hurried, wasn’t loud.
It was slow.
It was intimate.
Alex rolled out from under her leaving Erin on her back and Alex moving until she was positioned above Erin’s face. So close, Erin could smell the scent of her sex and it was driving her crazy.
“Is this ok?” she whispered.
Erin looked up at her beautiful body, it had been so long since they had had sex at all and even longer since they had done anything like this. There was vulnerability in Alex’s lovely blue eyes as she asked.
Erin nodded eagerly. Alex lowered herself slowly to Erin’s mouth and Erin opened her mouth to receive her. The taste of her on Erin’s tongue was sweeter than she remembered, more delicious than anything else there was in the world. Erin licked hungrily.
Alex began to relax into what she was doing, pressing down on Erin’s face as Erin gripped her thighs tightly. She could barely breathe, but she liked it, wanted it more than she realised.
It was everything they had been starving for.
A rediscovery.
A homecoming.
Alex began to moan loudly and grind her pussy down onto Erin’s face, taking her pleasure in the way that she used to, years ago, when everything was easier. Erin reached her right hand between her own legs, finding her swollen clitoris slick with need.
It was seconds later when Erin felt Alex explode in her mouth, gushing on her tongue, tipping Erin over the edge into her own powerful orgasm.
It was a quiet, fierce kind of love-making that left Erin breathless and Alex trembling and both of them tangled in each other like dawn might break them apart.
It wasn’t about release.
It was about returning.
About choosing each other again.
And when Alex finally collapsed beside Erin, boneless, chest heaving, more beautiful than ever — Erin pulled her into her arms, holding her close.
They lay tangled under the covers as the fire crackled low.
Alex pressed a kiss to Erin’s jaw. “We’re going to be okay.”
Erin turned her head and kissed the top of Alex’s soft blonde hair. “We’re better than okay.”
Alex curled closer. “We found our way back.”
Erin held her tight. “We always will.”
And with snow falling softly outside and moonlight drifting across the bed, Erin let herself drift to sleep with her wife curled against her, their hands still intertwined.
For the first time in months, Erin slept easy.
She’d come home.