10. Jax
Jax
I wanted to throttle Nova for the games she was playing. Instead, I chased after her like a freaking puppy chasing after a ball.
“Fine,” I said as we stepped into the elevator, “you win. You’re not a distraction.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not doing this.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“Listen, I just needed…” I shut my mouth when she gave me the look, one I knew all too well.
“Space,” she finished for me with another nod. “You have it. So do I.”
Before I could respond, she stepped out into an oddly busy lobby and disappeared as Rick appeared and pulled me into his office for an update on my trip.
After I updated my brother, I was pulled into a board meeting, followed by a very long call from another client. By the time I looked up from my emails, the whole office was dark. I logged out of my system, left the empty office, and drove home.
I wanted to call Nova or at least send her a text message. Instead, I spent the night brooding alone in an empty bed.
The next morning, I was in an even worse mood. I barked at the barista when she got my order wrong, then immediately apologized and tipped her a twenty dollar bill. Thankfully, she just smiled and told me that we all have bad days.
From there, I tried—really, I did—not to think about Nova out on a date with another man. But it had hit me hard, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Over the years, I’d watched her gush over other men. She’d had a relationship with a guy named Levi back in college. The four and a half months she’d been with the football player had been pure torture.
Thankfully, her infatuation with the jock had ended quickly enough when she’d found out that he was cheating on her. She’d sat on my sofa downing the rest of his ice cream just hours after finding out, telling me that she wasn’t really heartbroken over it.
I’d dealt with her heartbreaks before. Those looked completely different.
I stopped in my tracks the next morning as I walked into the building, my hand reaching for the door handle as realization slapped me in the face.
Nova’s heartbreaks looked very much like this. Lashing out. Making rash decisions while locking herself away and crying in private.
Damn.
I hadn’t meant to break her heart. All I’d needed was to keep Kit away from her while I tried to convince the man to sign on with the company. Nova was too much of a distraction to obtaining that goal.
The two trips I’d taken to Vegas without her had been more beneficial in moving the account forward than the ones where she’d tagged along. When Nova was around, all Kit wanted to do was wine and dine her and push any discussion of business to the side.
“Going in?” someone said behind me. I stepped aside as a few employees shuffled into the building.
When my cell phone rang, I answered it, and for the next two hours I focused on my work. By lunchtime, I had a headache and was desperate to spend time with Nova. When I strolled past her office, however, it was dark and the door was locked.
Hunting down Sofia, I tried to act casual as I asked if she knew where Nova was.
“She had to run to Aurora for a meeting. She’s not scheduled to be back until after three,” she tossed over her shoulder as she typed an email.
I leaned against the doorframe of her new office and held in a sigh.
“Has she…” I paused, debating asking her best friend if she’d mentioned what was between us. When Sofia stopped typing and glanced over her shoulder at me in question, I shook my head. “Forget it.”
I turned and left, heading back into my office as I debated what to order for lunch, which distracted me from my debate about whether to call Nova or just corner her when she returned.
I spent the next few hours brooding over my takeout Chinese food while I glanced at numbers that had my eyes watering and my head spinning.
There was a reason Dad had put Rick in charge of the business. He was good at this shit. I, on the other hand, hated it.
“What’s caused that sour look?” Rick asked from my doorway.
“This,” I said, pointing to my computer screen. “How do you deal with this?”
He walked over and glanced over my shoulder and then chuckled. “Delegate, brother.” He slapped my shoulder. “Which is why you are doing it, instead of me.” He winked and leaned against my desk, crossing his arms over his chest.
“What?” I groaned and leaned back, eyeing him.
“What, what?” he asked.
“That look”—I pointed to his face—“tells me something is wrong.”
He took a deep breath. “I just got off a very, let’s say, interesting call.”
“Oh?” I crossed my arms over my chest, mirroring Rick. “With?”
“Christian Sterling. ‘Just call me Kit,’” he mimicked as he tilted his head.
“And?” I practically groaned.
“Apparently, he was very upset that the last two visits from our”—he cleared his throat—“underlings were seriously lacking a certain dark-haired beauty.” He leaned closer. “His words, not mine.”
I rolled my eyes and finally let out the full groan. “Seriously?”
Rick nodded. “He’s the reason you wanted Nova to skip the trips to Sin City?”
“Of course,” I practically barked.
Rick nodded once, then he stood up and slapped me on the shoulder again.
“Well, for now, I’ve convinced Kit”—my brother said the word almost like a curse, causing me to smile—“that my team needs to stay put. You have a month,” he warned.
“One month’s hiatus. Then Kit expects to see you both back in Vegas to close the deal.
Let’s hope,” he added as he walked out. “Oh, hi, Nova,” he said as he stepped out of my office.
My entire body tensed as I turned toward my door and saw her walk into the room.
She was wearing a pair of dark pants that flowed around her legs. The crisp white top clung to her curves, and she had on a chunky necklace that hung directly between… My eyes snapped up when she cleared her throat.
“Hey,” I said, my voice cracking slightly, so I cleared my throat.
“I heard…” Nova reached over and shut the door, then leaned against it. “Everything.”
My eyebrows shot up. Shit.
“And?” I said when she didn’t say anything more.
“I can handle myself, in or outside the presence of Kit.” Her voice was low, but I knew her. There was rage boiling under the calmness.
“I know you can.” Her eyebrows arched. “So does Rick,” I added quickly.
Her eyes moved around my face for a second. Then she nodded and started to reach for the door handle, but I quickly jumped in.
“Hey,” I said, causing her to glance back at me. “Dinner tonight?” I blurted out.
She locked eyes with me. “I can’t. I have a date.”
Before I could respond, she marched out my door, shutting it behind her.
I wanted to throw something at it. To rage. To rush after her and convince her to cancel it and any others she had arranged.
I pulled out my phone and shot her a text before I could really think things through.
“You’re doing this on purpose.”
I stared at my screen, then watched as several dots started flashing while she typed.
“What?”
I wanted to throw the thing.
“Cancel your plans.”
“No.”
I typed the word please then deleted it.
“What is your end game here?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“What do you want from me?”
“If you don’t know, then I’m not going to be the one to tell you.”
I closed my eyes and felt my chest tighten.
“Come to dinner at my place tonight instead.”
This response took a little longer.
“Thanks, but I have a date.”
I balled my fists and glanced toward the windows. Fall was almost in full bloom outside. How had so much time passed since our first trip. The summer flashed by so quickly. Now, the leaves had changed colors without me noticing.
Nova loved fall. Halloween was her favorite holiday. Hell, it was mine too. Less than two months to go until then.
What would the holiday look like if she was seriously dating someone else? I’d hated those times in our past when she’d been with someone, because it had meant that she couldn’t spend the evening with me.
Normally, our costumes would be related somehow.
Last year, I’d been a huge donut while Nova had dressed as a cup of coffee.
The year before that, Nova had been Pennywise and I had dressed like Georgie from IT.
We’d ended up at a bar in downtown Denver where I’d spent the night flirting with a redhead dressed as the redhead from Roger Rabbit, while Nova had hung out with Sofia all evening.
Since I refused to beg, I set my phone down and went back to work. Fine. If she wanted to play games, two could play.
But when I looked through my options of women to call to go out with, my gut twisted. I didn’t want to go out with anyone else.
Instead, I sent a text to my brother Chris. He was supposed to be back in town this weekend.
“You around?”
The response came almost instantly. “At the house now. Mom’s serving up her Italian chicken.”
I glanced at the clock and quickly added, “Heading up, I’ll grab some beers. There’s gotta be a game on. Right?”
“We’re going to watch the Broncos and Packers. Game starts at six.”
“I’ll see if Rick is free.”
“Good idea.”
I shot a text to Rick, who quickly responded that he’d meet me there.
Smiling, I leaned back in my chair. Family time was better than trying to hook up with some rando. Right?
Shit. When had I gotten old?
I glanced at my closed office door and frowned. I didn’t want to hook up with some random woman. I wanted Nova back. Hell, I wanted to invite her to watch the game with my family. How many times had she been part of that mix? Too many to count.
A little over an hour later, I walked by Nova’s empty office and, clenching my teeth, forced myself to not immediately call her. Instead, I headed to my parents’ house. Though now, I suppose, it was just my mother’s home.
I thought about that the entire way up the hill.
It still hit me at different times that my dad was gone.
I thought back to when my grandparents had died.
The heartbreak. How, when my father’s dad had suddenly died of an infection, I was forced at a young age to think about my own mortality.
I had spent weeks, if not months, crying in bed as an eight-year-old, thinking that someday I would die.
My father had come in one night when I’d been crying a little too loudly and gently talked to me
He’d stroked my hair as he held me. “You know, Jacob, death isn’t something we should waste our tears on.”
“It’s not?” I’d asked.
“No.” He’d sighed.
“Why not?” I’d asked. “Doesn’t it hurt?”
He’d been quiet for a moment before answering. “Do you remember what it was like before you were born?”
I frowned, my tears drying on my cheeks as I thought really hard. My first memory, then and even still now, was of falling off my bike and scraping my knee. My father had been there to pick me up, bandage it, then help me right back on my bike.
“No,” I answered with a hiccup.
“Well, death is like that. At one point, we’ve all been dead before.”
“Where were we?” I asked, shifting in his arms to look up at him. God, he’d been a bear of a man. Strong arms. Chiseled jawline and dark hair that all three of his sons had inherited.
“Well, there are a lot of religions out there with different stories about what it will be like after death. Your grandfather believed in heaven.”
“Do you?”
My dad sighed again. “I’d like to hope there is a golden palace waiting for us all. That your grandfather is up there sipping his favorite bourbon and watching the sun set over some beach.”
I wanted to ask him more, but he shifted my weight and laid me back on my bed.
“For now, that thought comforts me. Along with the fact that he is not in pain anymore.”
I remembered seeing my grandfather for the last time. How he had coughed and how it had made him groan just to sit up and hug my brothers and me.
He’d looked old back then. It dawned on me now that my father was almost ten years older than his father had been when he’d passed.
I parked next to Chris’s Jeep and grabbed the case of beer I’d stopped to grab on the way out of town.
When I walked in, to my surprise, Nova sat on the sofa next to Chris. She was wearing a pair of worn jeans and a Bronco’s jersey, and her hair was up in a ponytail. Both she and Chris were cheering at the television.
My heart did a stupid little skip, then sunk when it dawned on me that this was her “date.” No way in hell was my little brother moving in on my… shit, was I really about to say that Nova was mine?
Thankfully, the two of them were so engrossed in the game playing on the set that I had time to compose myself.
By the time I walked over and set the case of beer down, I was fully back in control.
“Hey,” I said, making it as casual sounding as I could before sitting down next to Nova.
“There you are.” Chris reached over and opened the case and took out a beer, handing one to Nova first, then taking one for himself.
“Where’s Mom?” I asked, glancing around.
“In the kitchen.” Chris motioned with his beer.
Nova had yet to even glance in my direction. So, keeping with my in-control attitude, I got up and walked into the kitchen. My mother stood at the sink, looking out the window. There was a tear slipping down her cheek.
Without saying anything, I walked over and wrapped my arms around her.
“Oh.” She sniffled and leaned back against my chest. “There you are.”
“I miss him too,” I said into her hair and kissed the top of her head.
She turned in my arms and held onto me as more tears soaked my shirt.
“Sorry,” she said a few moments later.
“Don’t be. You’re due a few hundred tears.”
“I’ve tried to keep it together. Really. It just hits me at times.” She leaned back and laid her hands on my face. “Now the moment is over.” She wiped the tears from her cheeks and smiled. “When are you going to finally make a move on…” She motioned toward the living room.
I frowned as my mother’s eyes got huge.
“You have,” she gasped and then whispered, “Finally. Stop toying with the woman. She’s totally miserable.”
“She is?” My frown increased.
My mother shook her head. “Whatever games the two of you are playing”—she laid her hands on my face again—“remember, life is short. Don’t waste a moment of it.” She slapped my cheek softly. “Don’t be a fool. Tell Nova how you feel about her.” She turned away to finish cooking dinner.