5. Cant you make me your hope too? #2
(Just once you could have trusted me, Papa, but you declared the result without even knowing… why, Papa? I was your princess, right? Then why?)
Her hand automatically went to her belly.
She cried for a long time, her sobs echoing softly against the walls.
Gradually, even her tears subsided, leaving only the dull ache inside. Her breathing slowed, but the heaviness in her heart remained.
Rakshit came home after a long, tiring day. He loosened his tie, sat down on the sofa, and took the glass of water Rashmi aunty brought him.
"Where is Shivika, aunty?" he asked, frowning slightly.
The house felt different tonight, quiet, but not peaceful. Heavy, as if carrying someone's pain.
Rashmi hesitated. "Beta… vo.."
Rakshit gave a small nod, signaling her to continue.
"In the evening, we went to the garden because Shivika wanted to go. But suddenly, she started crying there. I asked, but she didn't answer. After coming back, she's been in her room. Only came outside once when I called her, and I had to force her to drink juice. But, Rakshit…"
Rashmi's voice shook.
"Her eyes… they were swollen. I could tell she cried a lot."
Her words unsettled him. Something inside his chest shifted, almost painfully.
All was fine this morning. What happened suddenly?
"Don't worry, aunty. I'll check," Rakshit said, though his own heart wasn't steady.
"You must be getting late. Put dinner on the table, and then you can leave."
Rashmi nodded, humming softly as she walked into the kitchen.
Rakshit's eyes shifted toward Shivika's room.
His steps faltered.
Should I go in? Will she even talk to me?
The hesitation lasted only a moment before he finally pushed the door open.
Inside, only a lamp glowed faintly; the rest of the room was bathed in shadows. Shivika was sitting in the balcony, knees folded, her face tilted towards the sky.
She looked so small, so fragile.
Rakshit walked toward her slowly, careful not to startle her.
"Shivika," he called gently.
She turned to look at him.
His breath caught in his throat, her eyes were red, swollen, still shimmering with unshed tears.
His heart urged him to pull her into his arms, to tell her she wasn't alone. But his feet didn't move. His fists clenched at his sides instead, fighting the urge.
"Shivika, what happened?" he asked softly.
She didn't reply, just stared at him for a long moment before turning back toward the sky.
"Can I sit here?" he asked, pointing at the space beside her.
She hummed in response, not looking at him, but it was enough. He sat down, though his eyes stayed fixed on her while hers drifted somewhere far away.
And then her voice broke the silence. "Why did God give me this much pain, Rakshit?"
Her tears slipped again, shining under the dim lamp light. She turned towards him, and something inside him shattered.
His breath faltered, his chest tightened, he couldn't bear that expression on her face.
Abruptly, he stood up and extended his hand to her. "Come."
Shivika blinked in confusion.
"What?"
"Come, Shivika. Let's go. I'll answer your question."
His voice was steady, but his eyes betrayed the storm inside.
Slowly, hesitantly, she placed her hand in his. His hold tightened immediately, firm and unyielding, as though he had no intention of ever letting go.
She followed him wordlessly, only realizing after a few steps that he was leading her out of the house.
"Rakshit… where are we..."
But he didn't reply. His gaze remained forward, his grip on her hand like an anchor.
"Aunty, lock the door when you leave. I've taken the extra keys. We're going out," Rakshit called, grabbing the car keys from the stand.
Still dazed, Shivika only realized moments later that she was sitting in the passenger seat of his car, the seatbelt fastened, while he started driving into the night.
"Rakshit… where are we going?" she asked, her voice hoarse from crying.
His grip tightened around the steering wheel at the sound of her broken tone. For a second, he closed his eyes, steadying himself.
Then, without looking at her, he said, "You'll get to know. Drink water first."
He picked up the bottle from the holder and handed it to her. His fingers brushed hers for the briefest second, and even in her hollow state, Shivika felt the warmth of his concern.
The car stopped after a long, silent drive.
Shivika blinked, trying to figure out where they were. She looked out and saw the gates of an old orphanage.
Children's voices carried faintly in the night, mixed with laughter, mischief, and cries.
She turned to Rakshit in confusion. "Why here?"
Rakshit didn't answer immediately. He got out, came around to her side, opened the door, and extended his hand again.
"Come."
His grip hadn't loosened even once since they left home, and it didn't loosen now. If anything, it grew stronger.
They walked inside together. Some children were still awake, sitting in the courtyard, whispering and giggling under the stars.
Others slept peacefully on mats, holding onto each other like lifelines. Shivika's heart softened at the sight, but also clenched with pain.
Rakshit stopped beside her, still holding her hand. His voice was low, steady, but carried a weight that sank into her heart.
She looked at him silently, tears welling up again, but this time from a different place.
He pointed towards a small boy sitting alone in a corner, staring blankly ahead.
Shivika's lips trembled, her fingers tightening around Rakshit's unconsciously.
Rakshit then nodded towards two sisters sleeping on the same mat, holding onto each other.
Shivika turned her face into her free hand, trying to stop her sobs.
"It's… it's unbearable."
Rakshit immediately shifted closer, though his hold on her hand didn't loosen.
He hesitated for a long moment, his jaw tightening as if he was holding back. Then, finally, the dam broke.
His hand clenched, then relaxed.
Shivika's breath caught in her throat.
He swallowed hard, his thumb brushing against her knuckles as if grounding himself.
Shivika's lips trembled, her eyes filling till her vision blurred. She had never heard him sound so raw.
"Rakshit…" she whispered, her voice breaking. She looked down at their joined hands, then back up at him.
Her gaze met his, broken yet searching. "But why me, Rakshit? Why always me?"
Rakshit's chest tightened.
He hesitated, unsure if he should reach out, unsure if she would let him. His hand hovered near her face, trembling slightly, as if even the air between them carried the weight of her pain.
Her eyes met his.
Wide. Fragile. Trusting.
And in that instant, something inside him shifted.
Slowly, cautiously, he cupped her face with his hand, letting his thumb brush away a stray tear.
For a heartbeat, he stopped himself, afraid of moving too fast. But then her lips trembled, her breath hitching, and he saw it, the silent plea in her eyes for someone to stay, to hold, to care.
He didn't stop.
Her breath hitched as fresh tears rolled down. She wanted to believe him, wanted to sink into that promise. Her lips quivered.
"You… you'll really listen?"
Rakshit nodded, holding her gaze. His hand on her face and the other still holding hers felt like a lifeline.
And then, slowly, she leaned into him, burying her face in his chest.
Rakshit wrapped his arms around her, finally letting himself hold her fully, hesitation gone, replaced by the fierce certainty that he would never let her feel alone again.
Shivika trembled in his arms, her tears soaking his shirt, her shoulders shaking with the weight of everything she had held inside for so long.
For a few moments, neither of them spoke. The only sounds were her quiet sobs and the distant laughter of children in the orphanage.
Gradually, her breathing steadied, though small hiccups still escaped her lips. She lifted her face slightly, wiping her cheeks on his shirt, her eyes red and glossy.
Her voice broke again, and she buried her face back into his chest.
Rakshit held her tighter, rubbing her back gently.
She nodded weakly, letting herself lean fully into him, the tension in her body slowly unwinding.
She closed her eyes, finally allowing herself to feel the weight of his words, the comfort in his embrace.
And Rakshit… he just held her.
Silent, unwavering, letting her pour everything into him, knowing that sometimes, words weren't needed, just presence, protection, and love.
Today he spoke not only for her, but for himself too.
He had never spoken this much to anyone, but today it was important for both of them.