Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Z ach tried to calm his pounding heart as he kept his eyes on the streets outside his window. He wanted to turn and face Danielle. He wanted to talk to her. Having her next to him without talking was killing him.
Did she feel it? Was he the only one remembering their past? It wasn’t until this moment that he realized just how much he had missed her smile, her laughter, and…just her . She’d been his friend and yet, one stupid night and she was gone.
Despite his better judgment, he turned and saw her gnawing on her fingernail. A smile tipped up his lips as he scoffed.
That drew her attention over. Her green eyes were wide as she stared at him. He could feel her hesitation and that made him sad. He wanted her to feel comfortable around him. It’d been so many years, hadn’t it? Things changed. He had changed. She had to know that.
“What?” she asked.
He went to answer, but her phone dinged, drawing her attention down to it. Curiosity burned inside of him and he wanted to ask who it was. But then he pushed that thought down. It could be her boyfriend and did he really want to know that?
Her shoulders visibly relaxed as she typed in a message and then clicked her phone so the screen went black. When she turned back to him, she looked less worried.
“Everything okay?” he asked, hoping that the teasing in his voice would help her relax. From the way she sat with her shoulders all tense, he swore she thought he was going to give her a root canal or something.
She forced a smile as she nodded. “Of course, yes. Why would you say that?”
He studied her. He knew all of her smiles and this was her uncomfortable one. The one she used when she didn’t want people to know how she really felt. And it broke him just a little that she was using it with him.
“You’re chewing your nails,” he said, motioning to her hands.
Almost out of instinct, she gripped her fingers, hiding them from view. “I am not.”
Zach raised his eyebrows. “Um, yeah you are.”
She cleared her throat as she shifted in her seat. She was quiet for a moment, making Zach worry that he’d said the wrong thing. Maybe they were no longer the kind of friends that teased each other—if they were even friends at all.
How could he have been so stupid?
“Are we really going to pretend?” she asked. Her voice was so low that he wondered if he’d even heard her.
He dipped down, bringing himself closer to her. “What?”
She cleared her throat. “Are we going to pretend?” she said, louder this time.
It surprised him and he turned to look at her. That movement brought him inches away from where she sat. Feeling bad for invading her space, Zach snapped back. His cheeks flushed as he ran his hands through his hair. “I’m not asking you to pretend. But…we were friends once. Or did you forget that?”
She slowly raised her gaze up to meet his. He could see so much hurt and frustration inside of that gaze that his breath hitched in his throat.
“I didn’t forget,” she said.
He studied her, hoping she could see that he was sorry. That he would have never kissed her like that if he had been in the right mind. He would have never asked her to choose that night between himself and honoring his brother’s memory.
Before either could speak, Paul pulled up to a large building and idled. “We’re here,” he said, motioning toward the front doors where a large bouncer stood outside with his arms folded. He was staring down a long line of people who looked hopeful of getting in.
Zach nodded and then turned toward Danielle. “Ready?” he asked. For a moment, he wondered if he’d been rash in asking her to come. That he was a fool to think that one night with her would erase everything they’d gone though. But there was no way he was going to leave her alone at the bus stop. He wasn’t a fool. No history was worth her safety.
Danielle chewed her lip and then nodded. “Are you sure it’s okay?”
Zach snorted. “I think we’ll be fine.”
Why was she so worried? He’d already kissed her and learned his lesson. And despite the fact that his senses were going haywire in her presence, that didn’t mean he couldn’t be around her. He tackled 400lb linebackers. He knew how to face danger and not break a sweat.
Mustering his courage, he gave her a smile and a wink. “You’ll have fun. I promise.”
He didn’t want to see how she would react to his wink. Instead, he pretended that he didn’t care as he pulled open his door and stepped out onto the sidewalk.
A cheer rang out as he straightened and buttoned his suit coat. He raised his hand to acknowledge the crowd as he took a few steps toward the door. He slowed his gait as he waited by the open car door for her to appear.
It took a few seconds longer than necessary for her to join his side but when she did he extended his hand. Out of instinct, it found its way to the small of her back.
He felt her flinch but she didn’t look as shocked this time around. Instead, she kept her gaze forward as she marched toward the doors.
He tried not to read into her sudden haste. He just figured that she wanted to get away from the flashing camera phones that were lighting up the darkness around them.
Zach would be lying to himself if he said that her reaction to the attention didn’t endear her to him. Most women he dated loved to be in the spotlight. They’d stop and pose, giggling at the attention being with an NFL player brought them.
No. Instead of allowing others to fawn over her, Danielle was completely oblivious to their attention. If anything she looked as if she hated it.
When they reached the doors to the club, the bouncer gave him a quick look, clapped him on the shoulder, thanked him for the victory, and then leaned forward to open the doors.
The thumping of the bass carried out from inside and Zach felt Danielle hesitate. He could tell this was not her scene. Wanting to let her know that he was right behind her, Zach paused so she’d know that he was right next to her.
“First time here?” he asked, partially shouting to be heard over the music.
Danielle’s eyes were wide as she turned to look at him. Then she shook her head. “No. No at all.”
Zack studied her and then pinched his lips together. Where was he supposed to go with that? An awkward feeling settled around them and for a moment, Zach wondered if this had been a mistake. Was he forcing a shattered relationship that was not going to get fixed? Was he that stupid?
But, when he looked over at her and caught a glimpse of the same broken girl who stood next to his brother’s grave as the casket was lowered, he realized he couldn’t back away now. Not when he’d been given a second chance to be the supportive guy he should have been all along.
So, despite the warning bells going off in his mind, he forced a smile and motioned toward the tables and booths that had Reserved cards resting on them.
“Let’s take a seat,” he said as he touched her lower back again.
She nodded as she quickly slid into the booth and scooted toward the center. He tried not to read into the speed in which she moved. She just really needed to sit down, he convinced himself.
The waitress in a skimpy black mini dress sidled up next to him, pressing her hand on his arm. “Can I get you a drink?” she asked as she batted her ridiculously long eyelashes.
Feeling awkward that this girl would flirt with him in front of Danielle, he nodded, ordered a beer, and then turned to Danielle who was watching them. She had a look on her face that he couldn’t quite read. It wasn’t like she was mad. More…amused.
“Drink?” he asked, motioning to the waitress.
“Sprite,” she said, giving the now scowling waitress a big smile.
The waitress jotted it down, took a moment to smile at Zach, and then turned and made her way over to the bar.
Not sure what had happened, Zach scooted into the seat until he was a foot away from Danielle.
“Wow,” Danielle said as she reached out to fiddle with the napkins in front of her.
Zach turned to focus on her. “What?”
Danielle’s gaze was trained on the table. “Nothing. Just, a lot has changed since I saw you last. I mean, bouncers let you walk into a crowded bar. Waitresses look like they’re about to claw my eyes out because you brought me here.” She peeked over at him. He wished he could read what she was thinking.
She sighed and shrugged. “You’re not the Zach I remember.”
Now it was his turn to study her. “What does that mean? I’m still Zach.”
She scoffed. “Yeah, right,” she whispered.
He reached out to get her to look at him, but then stopped when she pulled away before he made contact. Why was she acting like this?
“Come on, Dani. That Zach was young. Stupid.”
She met his gaze. Her eyebrows rose as she looked at him. He knew, from that one look, that she understood what he was hinting to. That kiss. His attempt to confess his feelings for her. All of it had been a stupid, grief-motivated mistake.
He cleared his throat as emotions rose up inside of him. How could he get her to see? Get her to forgive him?
He leaned closer to her and smiled. “We were friends once. Don’t you think we could do that again?”
She looked carefully at him, her brows drawn together. He could see the internal tug inside of her. He took some hope in that.
After holding his gaze for a moment longer, she let out her breath as she shook her head. “I don’t think so, Zach. Too much has happened. I…can’t do that again.” She rubbed her face with her hands just as the waitress dropped off their drinks—and her number written on a napkin.
Danielle laughed when she saw how not discreet the waitress had been when she handed the number over.
“See? I don’t fit in this world,” Danielle said, waving toward the napkin.
How could he get her to understand that this wasn’t his world? Sure it was great, but he missed having something real. And from what he could remember, Danielle was real. Besides, it wasn’t like he was asking for her date him, he just wanted to be friends.
“But—”
“There you are!” Jonathan’s voice sounded as he clapped Zach on the shoulder.
Startled, Zach turned to see his best friend standing next to the table with a huge grin on his face.
“Hey, man,” Zach said, turning back to Danielle who was no longer looking at him. Instead, she was studying her phone.
Frustrated, he turned back to Jonathan. There was no way this was the end of their conversation. He knew her a lot better than she seemed to think he did. She was pulling away to protect herself and he was going to show her that he wasn’t going to hurt her. He couldn’t.
Jonathan slid onto the booth next to Zach. “Hey, I’m Jonathan,” he said, as he leaned over the table and extended his hand toward Danielle.
Danielle glanced up and then nodded as she shook it. “I know. Steelers.”
Jonathan winked at her as he sat back in the booth. He glanced over at Zach with an approving look. “I like her. She knows her football. Where did you find her?” he asked as he waved down the waitress and ordered a beer.
Heat pricked at the back of Zach’s neck as he glanced over at Danielle, and then back to Jonathan. “We’ve…” How did he define their relationship?
“We grew up together and just happened to run into each other again. One of those funny, random moments.” Her expression had changed to a relaxed one as she focused on Jonathan.
It made Zach angry that she could look so relaxed when she talked to Jonathan and yet with him, it was coated in pain and memories.
“Wow. So you knew Zacky back when he was a kid?” Jonathan laughed.
Danielle laughed. “Yeah. Actually I dated his brother.”
Silence engulfed the table as Jonathan looked quickly to Zach. There may have been a time where Zach had told Jonathan about Isaac…and Danielle. And from the sorrowful look on Jonathan’s face, he remembered the story.
He winced as he glanced over at Danielle. “I’m so sorry.”
Danielle’s smile faltered as she cleared her throat and took a drink. When she returned it to the table she took a deep breath. “Thanks. It was a long time ago.”
Zach could feel her looking at him and he couldn’t help it, he had to look. She was watching him and he could tell, she had bad news.
“Which is why it was great to see you, but I think we should make this our only catch up.”
The air thickened with tension. Jonathan must have caught on because he tapped the table and said, “I, um…I’ll give you guys some privacy.”
Zach nodded in Jonathan’s direction but kept his gaze on Danielle. What was she talking about? Why couldn’t they be friends?
“Why are you acting like this?” Spilled from his lips.
Danielle’s eyes widened, but she held her ground. “Zach, seriously? With our history, we’d be fools to try to start up again, even if it’s just a friendship.”
A hollow feeling settled in Zach’s gut as he listened to her words. What was he supposed to say to that? How could he defend himself without coming out desperate? It was hard to want to appear vulnerable with a person who was about to rip your heart out…again.
“That was the past. I thought we’d be able to move on from it.”
Danielle’s smile faded and Zach could tell that she was having a hard time fighting whatever it was inside of her that was pushing her away. “Zach, your parents hate me. We have so much history, a Shakespeare play could be based on it.” She forced the sides of her lips up. There it was again. The not-genuine, forced smile he knew all too well. “It’s just better to let the past be the past.” Then she leaned forward for what he assumed was an effort to be comforting but it just felt demeaning. “Which reminds me, I’ve been assigned to write an exposé on you this summer. Something about upping the teams sponsorship. I think we can both agree that it’s a bad idea.”
Zach studied her, letting her words sink in. “What?”
She sighed as she straightened. “I’m supposed to film what the popular NFL players are doing over the summer and was assigned to you. I would appreciate it if you asked for someone else.”
Wow. This was a whole new low. It was one thing to ask him to be realistic about their relationship but for her to think that he couldn’t even be professional despite the past, perhaps she didn’t know him as well as he thought.
In a desperate attempt to protect himself, Zach stood so fast he almost knocked over a passing waiter. He cleared his throat as he pushed his hands through his hair. He had so much pent- up frustration and anger, he needed to expel it in one way or another.
“I don’t think I’m going to do that,” he said as he steadied his voice and met her head on.
Danielle’s eyebrows rose as she too scooted out of the booth and faced him. From her planted feet and focused expression, he knew he was in for a fight.
“Are you serious? Why can’t you respect my wishes?”
He scoffed. “I will when they aren’t ridiculous. I’m a professional. If you think I’m going to let the past get in the way of that, then you’re a fool.”
She pressed her hands on her hips as she stared up at him. “You can’t just give me this? There are hundreds of reporters in Georgia. Request for one of them to do it.”
He set his jaw as he thought about that for a moment, but then he gave her a confident smile and shook his head. “Nope. I don’t think I’m going to do that.”
Her face reddened. “Zach, please.”
He almost let her desperate voice sway him but then he shook his head. “I’ll see you this summer,” he said as he gave her a wink—which he didn’t feel bad about—and then turned on her stunned expression and parted lips.
He didn’t wait for her to answer as he made his way through the crowded club. Once he located Jonathan at the bar, he walked up and leaned both arms on the countertop, trying to ignore how sticky the marble was. After flagging down the bartender, he ordered another beer and took a deep breath.
Jonathan clapped him on the back, but didn’t bring up Danielle, which Zach was grateful for.
After a few minutes of sitting there in silence, Jonathan asked, “What shall we do?”
Zach closed his eyes as Danielle’s annoying, yet beautiful face flashed in his mind. There was only one way he knew of getting over a girl. He hated it because of the hangover that would hit him tomorrow, but for now, he needed to forget. So he sighed, signaled the bartender for another beer and turned to Jonathan. “Get wasted.”