Her Second-Hand Mate

1

April 202

“B ut Miss Penelope, why am I the only one who gets a stupid dandelion on his jeans?”

I sighed and, after threading the needle I was holding, turned to the impatient pup.

“Isaiah, we talked about this. You can't go around calling things stupid.”

“Sorry, Miss Penelope,” he seemed contrite for a moment. “But I still don't like the flower. You made flames on Caleb's shirt; those are much cooler.”

“Caleb's shirt is black, the tear was the right size, and the colors complemented each other. Your jeans are blue, and it wouldn't work,” I started explaining my artistic vision, but as I was saying this, I could see him gearing up for more arguing, so I hurriedly added, “And don't you know that the dandelion is among the hardiest flowers?”

Now, with that, I had all the gathered pups' attention. Isaiah narrowed his eyes at me and I vigorously nodded to further convince him.

“It really is. When it really wants to grow, it does, even in cracks in the concrete. And that's what I envisioned when I was mending your jeans. The determination and strength to blossom under the hardest of circumstances.”

“You sure love finding the moral in every story,” my brother said behind me, and all the pups sat up, showing respect to their future Alpha. “Penelope is right, Isaiah. There are many important lessons to be learned from observing nature, and now you'll have a great reminder of that fact right there on your jeans. If you don't like it, next time, you can do your own mending instead of complaining about Penelope's hard work.”

“I'm sorry,” the pup mumbled. “Thank you, Miss Penelope.”

“You're very welcome, Isaiah. You can all go play now. I'll finish mending your clothes another time,” I said as I got up to turn to my brother. “You needed me?”

“Yes, Nana sent me to get you. They need your help getting the house ready for the delegation.”

We linked arms and headed back towards the house.

“Are you excited?”

“What is there to be excited about?” he tried appearing nonchalant, but I could sense his wolf's eagerness.

“Oh, I don't know, maybe a whole new chapter in your life?” I teased. “You're going to be living away from home for the first time, learning new things with a whole new pack, what is there tonotbe excited about?”

“Well, I'll hate leaving my twin,” he said and I looked away to hide my sadness.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, haven't you heard?”

“Please don't start talking in proverbs like Nana while I'm gone?” he groaned and I burst out laughing.

◆◆◆

“Where is it?” Evie fumed from the kitchen door.

“Where is what?” I asked in my calmest tone, not looking up from the potatoes I was peeling.

“The hairbrush. Where is it?”

“Which hairbrush?”

Still calm. Still throwing potato after potato into a pot.

“Yourhairbrush,” she gritted out like it pained her to say it.

“Oh. I don't know. What do you want with my hairbrush?”

“Nana! Tell Penelope to stop being mean!”

Nana, who was adding some carrots to the pot that was already on the stove, didn't even turn to look at her, “How is it that everyone is always mean to you, Evie? You know what they say: if it stinks everywhere you go, there's probably dog crap under your shoe.”

Evangeline stormed out of the kitchen and stomped her feet as she climbed the stairs up to her room. It was an assault on the senses, in true dramatic Evangeline fashion.

“I know you hid that brush, Penelope.”

“It's my brush. She kept using it without asking permission.”

“You're as prickly as a cactus. You won't be able to behave like that once you're mated, you know that, right?”

When I didn't respond, she continued.

“You see how your father is. You don't remember your grandfather, God rest his soul, but he was the same. Males are,” she seemed to be searching for the right word, “ different from us. You will have to swallow your complaints sometimes. Least said, soonest mended.”

I sighed.

“I know, Nana. How many more of these potatoes do you need?”

“About four more should be fine and then you can go shower and change while I finish up here.”

“Sure you don't need more help?”

“Not here. I will need you to serve tonight.”

“No problem.”

It was only in the shower that I finally allowed my mind to wander. I closed my eyes as the hot water washed the day off my body. I liked my life. It was okay. But I was ready for something else.

Being in this pack, in this family, was draining all the color from my life. There was always some delegation or other visiting, always someone gawking at us, always meals to prepare and serve.

Father liked me to be seen and not heard at these dinners, so at least that was a blessing in disguise. As was shifting for the first time and discovering my mate wasn't in the Uinta pack.

Just thinking about that faceless male made my wolf want to burst out of my skin. For a while, I'd looked for him in every delegation that came to visit. But it's been four years since my first shift and I was less hopeful these days.

◆◆◆

“What should I serve first?”

“Eden served the soup a while ago, so you can take the funeral potatoes out now.”

As I approached the big dining room, my wolf kept growing more restless. She was almost pulling me towards the room. Before I could process what was happening, I started feeling almost intoxicated by the smell of wild thyme. It felt like I was standing in a beautiful meadow somewhere.

Through my daze, I heard something breaking, something scraping on the floor, and then something falling. I was suddenly clutching some cloth with my claws before Father's strong hands gripped and shook me.

“What in Heaven's name has gotten into you, Penelope?” he boomed.

“She's my mate,” the delicious-smelling male said in a deep, subdued voice.

I opened my eyes to meet his, and they took my breath away.

“I need to have a word with my daughter,” Father spoke as my mate and I just stood there, staring at each other.

Wild Thyme nodded and left the room. He just left. Father dragged me into his study. I still hadn't fully recovered from the unexpected encounter.

“Close the door, Penelope,” he ordered, and I obeyed.

Some things never changed, dazed or not. I closed my eyes and inhaled the familiar scent of the room. Paper, tobacco, and Father.

“Do you know who that male is?”

I shook my head.

“Alpha Dominic Hedge, from the Greylock pack in Massachusetts.”

Massachusetts, where Isaac was moving for his studies. Very far away from Utah. I could vaguely remember hearing that someone was coming to give a presentation for all the males who were interested in going to the Shifter University.

“Alpha Hedge lost his mate three years ago while we were all at the Alpha Summit together. He just passed out one night at dinner, and when he came to in the hospital, he learned that his mate had passed in a car accident,” he recounted calmly while playing with some loose change that was on his desk.

That familiar fear gripped me and I froze as Father talked about death. It was a dark place that immediately turned me into a young pup again. For a moment, I expected Father to be angrier, more disheveled, and his wounded wolf to lash out at all of us, so I carefully took a step back.

Lost in his thoughts, he continued: “He will be a good match for you, you're an Alpha's daughter. You're part of the Blessed Family. Just follow his lead. The bond will take care of itself. You just need to submit to the bond.”

I nodded, having no idea what he meant, but I knew better than to ask.

“Don't disappoint me, Penelope.”

“I won't,” I spoke and my voice felt hoarse from disuse.

“Very well. Tell your brother to send Alpha Hedge in here.”

◆◆◆

I sat on the floor by my bed, huddled under a blanket because my limbs felt frozen, when I sensed my stepmother's presence in front of my door. She lingered for a while before knocking.

“Come in, Eden.”

“Your Father wants you and Alpha Hedge to go for a walk in the garden,” she said without preamble.

Always his messenger.

“Alright. Do you,” I cleared my throat, suddenly unsure, “do you think I should change?”

Something in her face softened, and in all the years I'd known her, I'd never seen that look in her eye.

“Don't worry, you look wonderful.”

“Thanks. I'll be down in a minute then.”

As soon as I left my room, I could smell him again. My wolf kept pulling me towards him through my gut and it caused my insides to clench and twist in a way that wasn't entirely uncomfortable. It was insane.

I'd had maybe ten peaceful minutes alone after the conversation with Father to try and make sense of the world, and now that I was heading towards him, my knuckles white from how hard I was gripping the banister, all rational thought abandoned me once more. I was acting on pure instinct, at the mercy of the irresistible pull of our animals. I was an empty body posing as an intelligent life form.

Meanwhile, my mate stood at the bottom of the stairs in a deceptively relaxed stance. Dominic. He looked up as I whispered his name in my mind, and for a moment, I worried he could hear my thoughts.His nostrils flared and he very clearly stopped himself from stepping closer to me. I'd hunted enough deer to notice feigned calm.

When I reached the last stair, I stood and waited. Father said to follow his lead, and even if he hadn't, I wouldn't know what to do or say right now. I heard the wood of the banister crack and quickly removed my hand. Nana was going to kill me for ruining her staircase.

Dominic's eyes followed the sound but didn't really seem to be seeing anything.

“Can you show me the way to the garden?” he asked in that calm voice again, and I nodded.

Being around him became a bit easier outside because his smell was less concentrated. But as we walked side by side, my body kept wanting to brush against his and I had to focus all my energy on not allowing it to do so.

I didn't know if I was supposed to say something. And if so, what? All I knew was where he was from and that he was widowed. Neither of those was a great conversation starter.

“This mating couldn't have come at a worse time.”

Well. Now I knew a third thing about him. My mate was apparently not one to mince words. And despite all the hurt I'd endured in my life, I wasn't as resilient as I liked imagining myself to be. Because that statement hurt. It hurt a lot. I might have stopped walking after he said it. I could hear my blood rushing in my ears.

He stood in front of me now, looking down at my face. I was looking at his chest. At a button that was there. A button that was round and gray and had four holes and had never said or done anything mean to me.

“I'm sorry. I just meant I'm in a very busy period with my pack and the University right now. We'll figure it out.”

That was less awful. Still not the warm welcome one might expect into her mate's life, but from the very moment my Father told me about Dominic's past, I knew that this wouldn't be easy.

I briefly looked into his eyes, nodded, and then looked back down at the button. My hips wanted to move closer to their mate's. My nipples too. It was the strangest sensation. It was like they were being pulled towards him. I gulped.

“How old are you?”

Good job, Penelope. A question.

He frowned, so maybe not so good.

“I'm 28. You?”

“I'm 22.”

He shut his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

“Your father said he won't allow you to leave the pack unmarked, so we'll have to have the mating ceremony here.”

It was my turn to frown. He continued talking.

“I would like to head back to Greylock the day after tomorrow, so we'll have to have the ceremony tomorrow. Do you,” he paused and shifted his stance a bit, “have any wishes for the ceremony?”

I blinked. I knew how I always imagined my mating ceremony: grand, beautifully decorated with all my favorite flowers, a lot of lace on my dress, a male whose eyes radiated pure love as he held my hand...

I looked up at the male in front of me and his eyes reflected only impatience.

I knew what he wanted me to say.

“I'm fine with a simple ceremony.”

He seemed relieved and that helped loosen the knot in my stomach a bit.

“Are you sure? I know it's a big deal for some females,” his tone indicated that such a trait was not a desirable one.

“Don't worry about it,” I heard myself say. “The important thing is not the mating ceremony but the life ahead of us.”

“Okay. I'll tell your father to do it your pack's way then.”

I nodded, glad that I'd pleased him. I also briefly wished my Mother was alive. I had no idea where the thought came from, since it had been a long time since I'd last let myself indulge in such futile wishes. It must have been the stress of the whole situation.

“I will see you tomorrow,” he said and waited a bit, probably to see if I'd respond. I didn't, so he left. I went to my room and waited for tomorrow.

◆◆◆

The morning was a whirlwind of preparations, packing my things, females around me crying, and just going through the motions.

Nana managed to find Mother's mating ceremony dress yesterday and spent the whole night fixing it up for me. That's what finally got me out of my daze and shoved me right into hysterical territory. I'd cried until my whole face was red and swollen, and if someone had asked me why I was crying – I didn't think I'd have a good answer to that.

The thought of Nana's dear, old, wrinkled, freckled hands working through the night to give me such a beautiful gift was simply overwhelming. She'd always said, “Love is seen and not heard,” and she lived by those words. Leaving her would be more difficult than leaving anyone else in the pack.

Father had always been cold and distant, Eden'd always focused on Evie, and Evie had always focused on Evie as well. Isaac would be coming to Massachusetts soon, so I wouldn't have to be without my twin for too long. But Nana... the tears started up again at the thought.

“Hush now,” she chided half-heartedly as she wiped my tears. “Promise you'll write at least once a month.”

“Of course,” I sobbed.

“Promise, Penelope.”

“I promise.”

“There. It's all good now. You'll see. It will all be good,” she lifted a shaky hand to smooth out some of the hairs that had escaped my braid. “You are a wonderful young female and you will have a wonderful life. Let's go have breakfast now.”

It was just us females at breakfast. For some reason, it felt like it was the last time we'd all be together like this. I was fighting tears again. What was wrong with me!?

“Are you excited, Penelope?” Evangeline asked me in her sweet voice as she filled her teacup.

“I kind of am. Maybe it's silly, I don't know,” I stopped, suddenly self-conscious.

“It is kind of silly,” she responded and took a sip. “I mean, it's not his first mating ceremony, so,” she shrugged as she tilted her head to the side with the mean fake pity only a fourteen-year-old female could muster.

“Evangeline Marie,” Eden reproached her sternly.

It was the first time she'd ever spoken to my sister that way.

“I'm sorry, Penelope. Thank God he at least doesn't have any pups,” she shuddered and looked around the table at everyone's horrified expression. “He doesn't, right? Oh, I'm sorry, Eden,” she put her hand on our stepmother's affectionately. “You know I mean nothing by it.”

No one said anything for the rest of the meal. The ugly voice in my head that sometimes complained about things kept whispering at me throughout the day but I was determined not to listen to it.

So what if I'd come into this world sharing a womb with my brother? So what if the one male that was supposed to be mine was a hand-me-down from another female?

◆◆◆

There was a feast, and there were dances, and Isaiah cheekily presented me with a bouquet of dandelions, which was the first thing to make me smile on my mating day. I hugged him tightly as I thanked him.

I looked at the male next to me and was seized by equal parts of excitement and dread. He seemed stoic, stern, and quieter than I am, which said a lot.

As Father approached us to cut the red ribbon that held our hands together throughout the ceremony and spoke the traditional words about love, mates, loyalty, and honor, he looked at me and only then noticed the dress I was wearing.

His face blanched and his mouth stopped working. Dominic looked between the two of us without understanding anything. As Father cut the ribbon, he let his fingers gently caress the lace sleeve of the dress before he mumbled his congratulations and left. I didn't see him again for the rest of the day.

Dominic and I then both shifted and ran off into the woods, where our wolves marked and mated with each other as the rest of the pack celebrated fate and love.

◆◆◆

I was to spend the night in the guest housing suite with my mate. I was sitting on the large bed, brushing my hair, already in my nightgown, when he entered with a tray of food.

“What is that?”

“Neither of us ate anything at the feast, so I figured we'd have some dinner.”

“I could have gotten it for us.”

“It's fine,” he waved me off as he set it on the coffee table.

I sat down next to him on the couch and saw that he brought cheese, honey, fruit, and some bread.

I was too distracted by his presence to eat. I felt a soft touch on my arm and saw that he was playing with my hair.

“It's so long,” he whispered absentmindedly.

I swallowed.

“Why aren't you eating?”

“I don't-,” I mumbled, “I'm not hungry. I'm too nervous.”

“What are you nervous about?”

He was still sort of whispering.

“The marking,” I looked away. “Everything.”

He seemed genuinely confused, and then it dawned on him and he changed the way he was sitting to see me better.

“Just the marking tonight. We leave early tomorrow.”

“Alright.”

I was torn between relief and disappointment.

“Look at me, Penelope,” he said in that low voice, so I lifted and turned my head.

He used his index finger to rub something thick and sticky onto my lips, and when I darted out my tongue to taste it, I realized it was the honey.

Before I knew what was going on, he brought his face to mine and started licking off the honey - gently at first, but then he started really savoring it.

He held me by the back of my head as he sucked and licked and made little appreciative sounds. I suddenly realized the sounds were coming from me. I broke the kiss, and his eyes searched my face intently.

I felt dazed and warm and my eyelids felt heavy. My heart was beating somewhere really low in my stomach. Dominic's nostrils flared. He took more honey and then put it onhislips.

As he was doing so, I noticed that his fingernails were bitten to the quick, and it filled me with a strange tenderness. It was the first imperfect, insecure, human thing I'd noticed about him, and it made him less intimidating and more endearing.

“Your turn,” he said.

I immediately leaned in with a hunger I'd had no idea I even had. I even drew some blood in the process since my canines unexpectedly descended. He looked at me like he couldn't believe what he was experiencing. Maybe I was doing it wrong.

His hand traveled from my nape into my hair, which he grabbed to tilt and expose my neck to him in the most sensual submission I'd ever experienced. Then he sank his teeth in. It burned, but in a good way. It felt like my skin was on fire. I might have been screaming or moaning since, at the end of it, my voice was hoarse, and my mouth was dry.

He looked at me wide-eyed and offered me his neck. Without hesitation, I returned the favor. I enjoyed the give of his flesh, the rush of his blood. With it, I expected to be flooded with his feelings and thoughts, but instead, I got just a vague sense of who he was as a person. A better understanding of his essence.

“Is everything okay?” he asked when I kept staring at him wordlessly.

I shook my head a little.

“Yes, I just – I guess I'd imagined the process of marking as more dramatic than it really is.”

He nodded and then stood up.

“I have to go see my Beta about something. Don't wait up for me,” he said and left before I could even formulate an answer to that.