8
T he tight bodice of my black dress was so far outside of my comfort zone that I’d debated changing ever since I’d put it on. But Charlotte would kill me if she found out. The females went shopping with me and when I’d tried it on, the vote was unanimous – this was it. It had three-quarter sleeves, a boat neckline, and a 50s full skirt that went down to mid-calf.
Charlotte had come over and used a big brush to blow dry my long hair in full, soft waves. I blushed when I thought of how much Dominic would love it. She looked like a proud parent when I came down the stairs.
“You’re always beautiful, but tonight you’re stunning,” she said, pure honesty and joy radiating from her.
My wolf wanted to nuzzle her like she was family now.
“Thank you. I feel so silly and nervous.”
“I think it’s normal. It’s your first date with him.”
“I know. Better late than never, huh?”
“Don’t go there,” she frowned. “Sometimes these things need a little push.”
“I know,” I looked down at the floor. “Would be nice if they didn’t, though.”
“My mom always tried to preach gratitude, and she’d tell me focus on what you do have, instead of what you don’t have, so I’m passing on the wisdom to you now,” she grinned cheekily.
“Why, thank you so much, Charlotte,” I said mockingly, and she laughed. “I think Hank’s here, ride with us to town?”
I sat in the restaurant, nervously sipping my water, observing the wolves around me chatting and smiling, wondering what was taking Dominic so long when I felt the tell-tale prickle in my mind.
“Where are you?”
“Restaurant, where are you?” I shot back.
“There was an emergency in one of the dorms; two females got into it over a male. They are both at the hospital, and I have to deal with it; I’m sorry. Hank is on his way to pick you up.”
My grip on the mental coat was slipping, I could feel it. I took a deep breath as a disappointed tear escaped my eye. My nose was burning, and my throat felt scratchy.
“Penelope?”
“I’ll see you at home.”
Neither Hank nor I spoke a word during the drive, though he kept shooting me concerned glances in the rearview mirror.
I quickly changed out of the fancy dress and hid it in the back of my closet. I felt such shame and humiliation when I looked at it. I braided my hair and washed my face. Never again would I try to pretend to be something I wasn’t. A sob left my mouth and I covered it with both hands.
By the time Dominic came home, I was fast asleep. I’d left his presents on the living room table downstairs. The next morning, he kept glancing at me as I made breakfast, but I remained silent.
“Thank you for my presents,” he finally said.
“You’re welcome. Happy birthday.”
“Thanks. Did you make the sweater?”
“I did.”
“When?”
I turned my back on the stove and leaned my behind on the counter. I crossed my arms on my chest, careful not to touch my clothes with the eggy spatula I was holding.
“I must have been 19, why?”
“Did you think about me while you were knitting it?” he asked in a tone I’d never heard from him, or any male, before.
I didn’t know what it meant.
“In a way, yes,” I finally replied, giving up on deciphering the puzzle of Dominic’s feelings.
He frowned.
“What do you mean, in a way?”
I looked at him like he was crazy.
“I didn’t know who you were. So I thought about my mate, an unknown entity with no face. So, in a way, it was you, but in a way, it wasn’t.”
His shoulders relaxed.
“What are your plans for today?”
“I’m going to the city with the females.”
His eyebrows asked for further clarification, so I added, “Lynn, Mira, Charlotte, and Grace.”
“Have fun.”
Mira had gotten us all an appointment at Edoardo’s, but instead of using his niece, this time, she used my Luna position. I didn’t mind; on the contrary, I was happy to help my friends enjoy themselves and they all seemed excited for this beauty day.
Lynn said she wasn't going to let him anywhere near her hair, she was going only to keep us company and prevent us from making bad hair decisions. Mira was going to get highlights, whereas Charlotte and Grace wanted completely new styles.
I wasn’t going to do anything but get a wash and maybe a trim, but after last night I was buzzing with pent-up resentment and some other foreign emotion, so when the friendly she-wolf finished washing my hair, she sat me down in a chair and I met my own gaze in a mirror, before deciding to cut half of my hair off.
“You look so different!” Lynn exclaimed for the tenth time as we were having our coffee after the salon.
I grinned. I felt lighter in more ways than one. I told my friends about last night, and they were all disappointed together with me. They knew how much I had looked forward to this. They were also aware that this was my second attempt to get closer to my mate and that, in a way, this one had failed, too.
“I hope it’s a good different,” I replied.
“Oh, a million percent,” she smiled, and the other females nodded.
“I think Grace here looks the best, with her new glow,” I said, not liking the spotlight on me, and Grace beamed with unbridled joy.
“Don’t even, I’m so close to crying most of the time,” she sniffed happily. “I just can’t believe that I’m finally this far along.”
“Oh, you’re gonna be the best mom ever,” Charlotte sighed dreamily. “And you have me here as your personal midwife-in-training, so don’t you worry about a thing.”
“And you have me as your private nurse,” Mira added.
“Private chef, for all your cravings,” I raised my hand.
“Private doctor-in-training,” Lynn winked, and Grace started to cry in earnest.
“I love you so much, thank you so much for all your support,” she sobbed, and despite everything that went wrong last night, this was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
Both I and my wolf felt like we truly belonged, like we were part of a community, like we had wolves in our corner, someone who cared about us. We both basked in the love and joy of that connection.
I was washing the pan I’d used to fry the salmon earlier when the front door opened. My wolf forced me to inhale his scent as deeply as I could, and she went belly up immediately. I heard Dominic enter the kitchen and stop abruptly, and I was suddenly seized by a wave of fury and sorrow so strong that I gasped. It immediately retreated. I felt Dominic’s heat at my back and his fingers in my hair.
He took hold of my shoulders and turned me around. My sudsy hands got his shirt wet. He stared at my face and my now shoulder-length hair, looking both angry and rueful, but that seemed like an odd combination. I met his gaze with an arched eyebrow.
“You cut your hair,” he said accusingly.
“I did.”
“Why?” my wolf heard the hurt and anger in her mate’s tone and she wanted to jump out of my skin and go comfort him.
I couldn’t blame her. Just a week ago, we were frolicking in the woods in our wolf forms, and Dominic’s wolf was the warmest, most playful creature on Earth. Hurting him was the last thing I wanted to do.
“No reason,” I shrugged, “had the same hair forever, thought it might be time for a change.”
“I see,” he said through his teeth.
“I got my aptitude results back,” I blurted out because this tension was making me sweat.
“And?”
“Dr. Vera says that either Art History or Early Childhood Education would be a good fit for me.”
“Which one would you prefer?” he was still staring at my hair.
“No idea, I don’t even know if I want to do it yet.”
“Take your time to decide, there’s no rush. We have our whole lives ahead of us,” he said, again in that weird tone.
“Yeah, I guess,” I said.
◆◆◆
“Where is Dominic today? I haven’t seen him back at the office,” Florence asked as we waited for the main course.
“He’s driving Heather to her PT appointment, again,” I said and didn’t even try to keep the bitterness out of my voice this time.
The older females exchanged glances.
“I don’t know why he doesn’t send that female back to her home pack,” Florence frowned.
“Guilt,” Vera said, and we all turned to her. “Can you imagine how he must feel as an Alpha? His mate brought her to his pack and then crippled her while driving intoxicated.”
“That doesn’t mean he needs to babysit her,” Sonya drawled in her trademark accent. “Let her run to town in her wolf form if she can’t drive, who cares.”
“Luckily, you don’t have a pack depending on your soft, merciful heart,” Florence teased her friend. “But I understand where my son is coming from. His father taught him to always keep his word. He feels responsible, but he doesn’t see how he’s hurting Penelope.”
Was it obvious to everyone that I was hurting? I felt my face heat with humiliation.
No one commented on it; instead, Vera said in a low tone, “I know this is probably unprofessional of me to say, but you are my Luna, so I have to. There is something off about that female, but I can never get close enough to her to get a read. She was supposed to have gotten counseling after her accident but she refused.”
I spent the rest of the day mulling over everything that was said during lunch. When Dominic came home smelling like lavender after the car ride with her, I’d had enough.
“I don’t like that Heather is monopolizing so much of your time,” I blurted out and was glad that it was over. There. I said it.
“I drive her to PT every two months; I’d hardly call that monopolizing,” he replied, and it got my hackles up.
“You are her Alpha, not her driver. And she has interfered with our time together on several occasions. Not to mention she waltzes into both your home and your office uninvited, which bothers my wolf!”
I was panting with anger now, saying out loud some of the things the angry voice kept whispering to me. At some point during the last few months, I stopped thinking of it as ugly. Ever since Margaret had told me that anger was good, that it was protective. The voice only drew attention to things that harmed me, hurt me, or went against me. It had never been ugly; it had always been a shield.
“Penelope,” Dominic was breathing hard as well now. “Heather is crippled. It was my mate that crippled her.”
“I thought I was your mate.”
“You know what I mean!” he shouted. “I gave her my word. I won’t go back on my word.”
“Not even at the expense of our mating?”
“I’m not doing anything wrong, I’m just helping a sick pack member.”
We just kept staring at each other, our wolves confused, our human sides fuming.
“I’m going to bed,” he said over his shoulder as he was leaving. I stayed downstairs until I was sure he’d fallen asleep and then went upstairs too.