7. Kara
7
KARA
K ara sat cross-legged on the wooden floor of their small cabin, her back against the rough wall. Every muscle in her body seemed tight with tension. Her fingertips lightly brushed the ragged scar running along her wrist. It was only the slightest, faintest of lines but a reminder of one of many close calls. How many battles had she fought since the outbreak? There are too many to count. But she had memorized each scar on her body—etched into her skin like a roadmap of survival. She never forgot the faces, either. The faces of those she couldn’t save.
She glanced at Sam, who was quietly sitting on the edge of the bed across the room. Sam wasn’t making eye contact with her, but Kara could still feel her watching. It felt as if there was a storm brewing.
God, we’re going to have to talk about it at some point.
Kara inhaled, slow and deep, but the air felt thick and soupy as if the room were full of smoke or fog. The small space was barely big enough for a bed, a small table, and their scattered gear. It was true that it often felt too confining, but it was safe…and still. And that meant they were the lucky ones. Out there in the wilderness, in the land of the undead, you didn’t have time to sit and just be still. Every second was spent watching, scanning, and moving. Here within Fort Haven’s walls, her mind had nowhere to go but inward.
“You’ve been quiet since yesterday,” Sam said with no discernible emotion in her voice. “And I guess I have, as well.”
Kara hadn’t realized how much she’d needed to hear Sam’s voice. Her nerves were raw, and she needed Sam to acknowledge what had happened at the barracks.
Kara didn’t respond immediately. She shifted her weight, her fingers absently tracing the old, jagged wound along her arm. “I guess I’ve just been thinking,” she finally muttered, her voice coming out harsher than she intended.
Sam tilted her head. “Really? About what?”
Kara wanted to look away. She couldn’t handle the weight of Sam’s questioning gaze. But she couldn’t back down, either. She held it in, letting the silence stretch between them. The truth was right there in front of her, threatening to suffocate her if she didn’t let it out. And Sam... Sam needed to give her answers.
“Listen. It’s about yesterday,” Kara finally whispered, her voice cracking at the edges. “That woman. I don’t know how you knew she was infected. What if we’d been able to help her? Did you just kill her for the sake of it? I don’t know what gives you the right to make that kind of decision. I couldn’t sleep last night. The image of what you did kept playing through my mind, Sam. I haven’t seen many people kill like that.”
Sam’s expression didn’t change, but there was a subtle shift in the way she moved as if bracing herself for a fight. “Really? You’ve come this far and never seen anything like it? You’ve been fucking lucky if that’s the case. The only regret I have is that I should have been faster,” Sam continued, her voice low and tight. She pressed her palms against her thighs as if trying to ground herself. “I should have been stronger. I saw the infection. I could see it under her skin. You don’t know the signs? Are you na?ve, or what? You think I go around slaughtering people for fun, is that it? Jesus, Kara! I’m not a monster. I’m a survivor, and I tried to protect you.”
Kara crossed the short distance between them. She knelt down in front of Sam, who was seated on the bed, resting her hands gently on her knees. “I’m sorry. I know you did what you had to,” she said softly. “I know the only reason you’re here is because you survived. And yes, I’ve killed before. I’ve killed time and time again. But I guess I’ve only killed them when they’re really gone, you know? Like…full-on zombies. And I guess that woman still seemed human somehow. It just never gets easier for me.”
Sam’s breath hitched, and she shook her head. “But she wasn’t,” she choked out. “She would never have made it, Kara. You’re not the only one who’s been thinking about it, okay? Every goddamned night I dream about them. I dream about the looks on their faces right before...” She trailed off, her voice breaking.
“I know,” Kara offered with a sympathetic smile. She shifted from her standing position to a sitting position and crossed her legs. She pulled on Sam’s wrists slightly, inviting her to join her on the floor.
“I don’t want to fight with you,” Sam explained as she settled down by Kara’s side and placed her head on her lover’s shoulder.
“Nor do I. I have sleepless nights, too. I think we all do. All those times when I should have done more,” Kara whispered, her throat burning with the effort of holding back the sob that wanted to break free. “Battles I’ve been in where I should have done better. I should have fought better.”
Sam’s hands slid up to Kara’s arms, her touch warm and grounding. “You did everything you could to help your friends. And that’s more than most people would have been able to do. You’re still here because you fought like hell to stay alive. Remember…I saw what happened before I found you.”
Kara squeezed her eyes shut, tears burning behind her lids. “Do you ever feel like you don’t deserve it?” she whispered.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Sam replied with a quizzical look in her eyes.
“I often feel as if I don’t deserve to be here…when they’re not. My parents, my friends…”
The silence that followed felt suffocating, but Sam didn’t let go of Kara. She stayed there, her hands firm and steady on Kara’s arms, not pulling her in but not letting her pull away either. Kara could feel the tension in her body, the strain of holding everything in for so long, and it felt like she was going to shatter under the weight of it all.
Sam leaned closer and whispered in her ear. “Kara. You’re alive because you fought for it. That doesn’t make you guilty. It makes you strong. You know, with my group, there were more of us at one point. And we lost a lot along the way. I’ve looked after people who had to kill their own kids. Can you imagine what that does to a person? This reality we’re in now is…”
“It’s like hell on earth sometimes, isn’t it? I know I go on about how great it is here at Fort Haven, but half the time, I’m trying to convince myself. I didn’t help my own mom and dad. Can you even believe that?”
“Shhhh,” Sam said quietly, stroking away the tears running down Kara’s cheeks. “You’re making yourself upset. We’ve all been through it. Who’s come out of all this with their families intact? My bet is nobody. Everyone’s lost someone. The whole of civilization has collapsed, honey. Who isn’t emotionally or physically scarred?”
Kara opened her eyes and stared at the worn floorboards beneath her. The memories of the outbreak, the day it had all happened, flooded her mind and started playing on a loop— running, bleeding, hearing the screams of her parents, friends, and neighbors as they fell one by one. She could still hear the sounds of their voices, the desperation in their final moments.
“I was supposed to protect them,” she said, her voice trembling. “I was supposed to get them out of there. And I didn’t. I let them down, Sam. I couldn’t even put them out of their misery when they turned.”
Sam’s hands slid up to cup Kara’s face, tilting her head gently until their eyes met. Kara’s breath caught in her throat as she saw the raw emotion in Sam’s gaze—compassion, understanding, but also something stronger. Something unbreakable.
“You didn’t let anyone down. You’re talking about the first day! You weren’t who you are today,” Sam said, her voice firm but gentle. “You fought to keep yourself alive, and who could ask you for anything more than that? It’s what your parents would have wanted.”
Kara leaned back slightly, wiping her eyes, shifting into a more comfortable position. “I can’t remember why we’re down here on the floor. Can you?”
“I think you wanted to make out with me or something like that,” Sam laughed. She reached up, cupping Kara’s face in her hands, her fingers brushing over her cheeks. “Thank you for communicating with me,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
“For what? For wanting to make out with you?”
Sam’s smile was soft and genuine, her hands still resting on Kara’s waist. “Absolutely. You’re hot when you’re mad.”
Kara pressed her lips to Sam’s in a soft, lingering kiss. Sam’s hands slid up to Kara’s back, pulling her closer as their lips moved together in a slow and deliberate motion.
Kara’s fingers tangled in Sam’s hair, pulling her closer as their breaths quickened, the soft sounds of their lips smacking together turning her on more and more by the second. She traced the lines of Sam’s face, memorizing every curve.
“Take your clothes off. I want to see you,” Sam whispered.
Kara smiled as she started to unbutton her jeans. Anticipation thrummed through her veins, andshe couldn’t help but ache for what was to come. The heat between them had her body pulsing with pure desire. She wanted to feel Sam's hands on her— and in her—exploring, claiming. Every touch from Sam ignited something deeper in her, a desire she hadn't let herself fully embrace until now. Wetness built between her legs, her body practically begging for Sam to take control, to make her forget everything but the two of them. She wanted Sam to possess her completely, to make her surrender to the raw, urgent need between them.
“I need you to fuck me so hard that I forget about everything,” Kara whispered as she hastily removed her jeans.
Sam smiled at her, getting on top and pressing her body deeply onto Kara. Her lips made their way to her mouth. Their tongues entwined, rolling around in circles.
Sam’s hand slipped in between Kara’s legs. They parted instantly, exposing her hot wet folds. Two fingers slid inside with ease, thrusting harder and deeper. Fucking her as hard as she could. The gushing wetness dripped down to the floor.
“I need more of you. I want you to fill me up,” Kara moaned.
Sam adored how she moaned. Without another word, Sam pushed in a third finger, curling them up as she continued to fuck her harder and harder into the wooden floor.
The weight of her past still lingered in the back of her mind, but it was fading. Sam was here. She was solid and real. Kara felt safe.