Chapter 17 #2
He shrugged, the corners of his mouth quirking into a small smile. “From what you have said, the woman seems like she would be everything you want in a governess. Perhaps your reluctance is less to do with her and more to do with something else?”
“That is what she suggested. Though only once I had invited her to be so informal.” Catherine felt her chest tighten. “Perhaps you are both right; I suppose only time will tell.”
“I will not force your hand either way; this is ultimately your decision. However, nothing is set in stone. Should we find her performance lacking, we can end her employment.” Alaric shrugged.
“That is true, although it might make things more complicated. At least, when it comes to my leaving.” Catherine’s stomach lurched.
Catherine noticed Alaric’s jaw tighten slightly at her words. “We can cross that bridge if we come to it. For now, Mrs. Langley’s arrival has set the clock in motion. Hale will be here in a few days, and he might be able to give us more answers about Oliver.”
“It feels strange to be preparing for so many guests in such a short space of time.” Catherine counted them off on her fingers. “Lord Hale, then Hettie, Louisa, and Fi. Are you sure you do not mind them all staying with us?”
“I would not have agreed to it otherwise. I am going to have to re-enter the world sooner or later, Catherine. This gives us an opportunity to do it safely. I... agh.” Alaric’s face paled, and he clutched his head, closing his eyes tightly.
Catherine moved toward him, hands outstretched. “Alaric?”
Her fingers brushed against his arm, and his eyes flew open. Heat radiated from his body, and from this distance, Catherine could see that there were dark circles beneath his eyes.
“What happened?” Catherine brushed the hair from his forehead without thinking. “Is it your head? Should I send for the physician?”
Alaric’s eyes widened, though his gaze was unfocused as if not really seeing Catherine at all. “It seems rather unfair that you should get to touch me when I cannot do the same.”
Catherine’s cheeks flushed, and she took a step away from him, drawing her hands to her side. Alaric blinked, his green eyes regaining their usual brightness.
“Apologies, Catherine. It was a poor joke.” He grimaced. “Forget I said anything.”
“But you were not wrong.” Catherine looked down at her fingers, her thoughts muddled. “It is not fair, and honestly, that rule seems to be the one we both break without thinking. To me, that suggests it might not be working.”
“And what would that mean?”
“I like to think that there is a mutual respect between us, that despite my protestations, we have become friends. With so much uncertainty in our lives, it seems to me that we could both use a friend.” Catherine swallowed, unsure why her heart had sped up.
Alaric’s face was an unreadable mask. Catherine watched as he stroked his chin thoughtfully. Her eyes went to the muscles of his arm before she caught herself.
“I am not saying that this is a license to touch one another without restraint. Just... well, I think the occasional brush or show of companionship is not a bad thing. And it is probably good for Oliver to see too; he always seems reluctant to be physical, and I wonder if it is something he picks up from the way you and I are with each other. Of course, it is just a guess, and well, perhaps it was a silly suggestion I– ”
“Is this what you want?” Alaric’s eyes pulled Catherine’s to them, driving all of her words from her mouth. “For us to be friends?”
“It is.” Catherine nodded, wishing her heart was not racing quite so badly. “If you agree, of course.”
“I do.” Alaric’s voice was somber. “Though I am unsure what this will look like in practice.”
“As am I.” Catherine shrugged. “But we have figured out plenty together already; I see no reason we cannot work our way through this.”
“We do make quite the team.” Alaric’s lips quirked into a small smile. “And I suspect you will not hesitate to let me know if I have overstepped.”
“You would be correct.” Catherine smiled back at him.
“Then it is settled. We will move forward as friends.” Alaric inclined his head toward her. “And as you say, it will be good for Oliver.”
“It will.” Catherine nodded, feeling an odd sense of cold mingle with a lightness that spread across her chest.
Catherine thought she saw Alaric’s hand twitch, but he did not move toward her. Instead, he bowed and said, “I will take my leave of you, Catherine.”
“Of course.” Catherine inclined her head toward him, her heart racing once more. “I should get ready for dinner, anyway. I just wanted to let you know about Mrs. Langley.”
As Catherine walked away from Alaric toward her rooms, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as if someone was watching her. But when she looked back, Alaric was walking away, his hands clasped behind his back.
She thought she saw the hair sway on his head, as if he had recently turned it, but she knew that was not true.
It is probably just a trick of the light.