Chapter Five
We arrive at the Rotherford Regent Hotel, and I can’t shake this anxiety in my stomach. It’s like a tap dancing troop is inside, stomping all over my mistakes.
I slide out of the car first and head inside to the elevator.
Everyone is coming in loudly behind me, and just as I step into the elevator, Anna and Johnny join me.
Then I watch Colt and Jessi walk in, and all I can do is hold myself tightly.
She has her arms wrapped around his waist, and he’s walking along but not really holding her. His arm is resting on her shoulders.
I look away because I suddenly feel very sober.
Very alert.
Ever vigilant.
And the warning bells are sounding.
The elevator doors close, taking me to the top floor with Anna and Johnny.
“Well, it was nice meeting you guys,” I say as the doors open.
Anna takes my hand and walks out with me. “I’m sorry, Dee. I know how hard this is, but maybe it’s for the best, you know? But I’m so glad I got to meet you,” Anna says.
“Yeah, same goes. You’re a stellar bird,” Johnny states, taking Anna’s hand and walking ahead of me toward their penthouse suite.
“Thanks. It was lovely spending time with you all…” I trail off, knowing they probably can’t hear me as I’m mumbling while heading toward my suite.
I fumble around in my clutch to find my door keycard.
Swiping it, I push on the door, but as I do, the elevator chimes.
Colt, Jessi, Dingo, and Sia all walk out.
I quickly step into the suite and turn around in time to see them walk past my door.
Colt doesn’t acknowledge me, but Jessi does, and she smirks, giving me a look that reeks of, ‘I won.’
Colt’s laughing as he stumbles, and Jessi grabs him by his tank top. As I pop my head around, I watch her yanking him through the door and slamming it behind them.
And there goes Colter Slade.
The guy who taught me to be spontaneous and to live a little.
In and out of my life in the blink of an eye.
The tap dancers in my stomach are going wild as a wave of nausea grips me. I close the door and rush to the ensuite. Clutching the bowl, I barely have time to take a breath before everything in my stomach comes rushing up.
I gag, dry-heaving as fresh tears slip down my face. I’ve clearly had way too much to drink. I mean, I drink—but usually cocktails or champagne, never this hard stuff. And now, I feel utterly wretched. Deservedly so.
Another violent spasm wracks my body, forcing me to lurch forward again. My knees dig into the freezing tile, a dull ache settling in from today’s mess with the minions. My breath shudders, and then it happens—I break.
And I mean, really break.
This isn’t just regret.
This is a pit of despair.
Deeper than when Joseph kicked me to the curb.
This feels like drowning, a weight shackled to my ankles, dragging me under, no matter how hard I fight to surface.
What a massive mistake this was.
Not only have I been photographed with rock stars by the paparazzi, but I also know, deep in my heart, how much I will have disappointed my father. How much hurt he will be feeling right now. How much my selfishness will have affected him personally and his business.
Maybe this is for the best?
After I use the bathroom, I end up crawling into a ball on the tiled floor next to the bowl. While dozing in and out of sleep, another wave of nausea hits, and I’m heaving into the bowl again.
When I eventually wake, the sun is shining through the window, but it’s very early around sunrise. I slowly stand, feeling like someone has run me over about seventeen times with a truck, then reversed over me one more time for good measure.
Standing, I gaze into the mirror. I am taken aback by the reflection staring back at me. I’m pale, eyeliner and mascara have run down my cheeks. And my hair? Well, let’s not go there.
Taking off my ripped clothes and trusty Converse sneakers, I get into the shower and try to wash away the mess of the past forty-eight hours.
I start with my hair and face, scrubbing them into submission, stripping away any remnants of the rock chick they were trying to turn me into.
The warm liquid soothes my sore body. I am aching from yesterday’s fall and the minor beating those evil minions gave me.
Sleeping on the tile floor probably didn’t help those pains, either.
Once finished, I step out of the shower and think about what I can do with my life.
Obviously, I need to find somewhere to live.
I can’t stay here forever, especially with the memory of Colt on the couch and in the bed, not to mention the penthouse suite next door.
Everything’s a reminder of him, and I need to get away from it.
While drying myself with the fluffy bath towel, I decide to stay with my parents until I can find something of my own. I don’t have any girlfriends I can share a house with. In fact, I don’t have any friends at all. None of those socialite nasties could be classed as any sort of anything.
Mean girls—absolutely.
Friends—not likely.
In the past two days, I’ve made more friends than in my entire life.
Packing up my bags, I load myself up and walk toward the elevator, but as I approach, the sound of a door opening draws my attention.
I look back to see Johnny walking out of the penthouse suite.
He stops when he sees me, closing the door behind him.
Smiling, I turn around to press the button for the elevator.
“Dee, are you leaving?” Johnny calls out.
I turn back to face him. “I have to, Johnny. Can you say goodbye to Anna for me, please?”
“You’re a cool chick, Dee. Just remember that. I’ll let Anna know.”
I give Johnny a short nod before swinging back around and entering the elevator.
I turn to press the button for the lobby, noticing Johnny rushing back inside the penthouse as the doors slowly shut on this part of my life.
Tears threaten to fall, and I close my eyes, fighting to keep them from spilling over as the elevator stops.
Then, with a deep inhale, I walk to Mary-Ann, who’s at the reception desk.
“Leaving already, Dee? It’s early!” she states.
I nod and hand over the keycard. She takes it from me, and I turn to walk off without saying a word.
“You look after yourself, okay?” Mary-Ann states as I step away.
I can’t answer her.
I’m too worried I’ll burst out crying.
I feel terrible.
Horrendous.
A failure.
I walk out of the Rutherford Regent Hotel and into a cab that’s pulled in, hailed by the concierge who’s taken my bags from me.
A friendly driver steps out to greet me and then helps put my luggage into the trunk.
As I open the back door, I hear Colt, “Dee, Dee, wait.” I turn to him, running up to me, dressed in the same clothes he wore last night.
With a long exhale, I scrunch my eyes closed.
Johnny must have told him I was leaving.
I turn to open the car door, but Colt quickly puts his hand out to keep it shut.
“What are you doing?” I ask, turning to face him.
He looks terrible, still smoking hot, but terrible.
“What am I doing? What the hell are you doing?” he asks, walking around to the back of the cab and taking out my luggage.
“Colt, stop.”
“No, you stop! Why the hell are you leaving without saying anything? This is the second time you’re trying to bail on me, and it’s not fucking good enough,” he demands, his nostrils flaring and eyebrows furrowing.
I shake my head, the only response I can give him right now.
“That’s not an answer, Dee.”
“What the heck do you want me to say? You make me all giddy for you, snog me like that, and leave the club with another woman. What’s there to say, Colt?” I question, exhaustion overwhelming me.
He tilts his head, and his eyes widen. “Okay, so I had a lot to drink last night, and I don’t remember any snog or leaving with another woman.
All I remember is us drinking and having a good time.
I swear, I passed out as soon as we got back to the penthouse.
I didn’t even make it to the bed, Dee. I literally woke up just now on the floor to Johnny slapping me across the face. ”
The feeling of a thousand blunt knives stabbing me in the chest overwhelms me. His words hurt me so much that I find it hard to breathe. “You’re telling me you don’t remember our first kiss in the hallway at the club?” I ask breathlessly.
He looks at me with sympathetic eyes and then winces. “I… I… fuck,” he stutters, running his hand through his stupid, gorgeous hair.
“Great, just great. Who do you think you are, coming into my life and turning it upside down? What gives you the right to waltz into my already right royal mess of a life and make me feel even worse than I did before I met you? Just because you’re a famous rock star doesn’t give you a license to hurt people, Colt.
You’re not exempt from how normal people treat each other just because you are…
well, you. Urgh!” I blurt out, venting my frustrations as I lean over and push him away from me.
He grabs my wrists and pulls me close to him.
I try to pull away, but Colt’s too strong.
The cab driver steps out of his car and looks at us. “Ma’am? Is there a problem? Is this—”
“Stop!” Colt interrupts with a stern glare that causes a shiver to run over me. His eyes are firmly set on the cab driver, who shrugs and returns to the driver’s seat.
“Dee, stop struggling, for fuck’s sake!” Colt demands, turning his attention to me. He lets my wrists go and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into an embrace.
I struggle against him, but his hold doesn’t budge.
The concierge gets involved now, seeing I’m battling to get some distance from Colt. “Miss Norman, should I call the police?”
I look at the concierge, shake my head, then turn to Colt. “Colt, you don’t even remember our first kiss. So if you are honest with yourself, you can’t be that upset with me leaving. Now… Let. Me. Go!”