Chapter Thirty-Four
The doctor arranges for Colt to be admitted to the Priory Hospital in Roehampton in the south-west of London. Colt’s happy, as many other celebrities have been and come out the other end for the better.
Of course, the press somehow got hold of the news, forcing Rob to cancel the last week of the tour.
It’s been thirty-eight long, brutal hours since his last hit, and the withdrawal is ripping through him. By the time we get him onto the jet, his body is a wreck—trembling, unsteady, drenched in sweat.
I half carry, half drag him to the bedroom, his weight heavy against me, his breath ragged in my ear. The second we reach the bed, he collapses onto it, his body convulsing with violent tremors despite the feverish heat radiating off him.
He doesn’t speak.
He doesn’t have to.
The pain is carved into his scrunched-up features, the way his muscles lock tight, the way his hands clench the sheets like he’s holding on for dear life. I lower myself beside him, keeping my distance. It’s not because I don’t want to touch him, it’s because I don’t know if he can handle it.
He’s burning up.
He’s freezing.
He’s wrecked.
And all I can do is watch.
My heart aches, but my hands stay in my lap—useless, shaking, aching to do something. It’s gut-wrenching and agonizing.
It’s pure unadulterated hell.
From time to time, Johnny steps in to check on us. We exchange silent reassurances, careful not to disturb Colt, not to break the fragility of the moment. But I can’t shake the feeling that I should be doing something.
Something to ease his pain.
Something to help.
Except I don’t know how.
I’ve never dealt with this before, so I have no idea what is needed.
“Dee…” Colt’s voice is hoarse, barely more than a groan.
I lean in, my fingers brushing against his face. He is too clammy, too cold, but I try to comfort him anyway. “I’m right here, babe,” I whisper, caressing his cheek, willing him to feel my presence. His body is limp, lifeless, his breathing shallow, and my chest tightens painfully as I watch him.
He looks so… fragile.
Then, without warning, he rolls onto his side, curling into himself. My hand follows, instinctively reaching for him again.
“Fuck off!” he moans, voice slurred, pained.
I freeze.
He doesn’t mean it.
I know he doesn’t mean it.
But that doesn’t stop it from hurting.
My throat tightens, and I quickly retreat, stepping into the bathroom. I turn on the faucet, letting the water run before splashing my face. The cold bites into my skin, grounding me for half a second.
I need to be here for him. But damn if it doesn’t feel like my heart is being ripped to pieces.
I grip the edge of the basin, knuckles white, and stare at my reflection.
Red-rimmed eyes. A face weighed down by exhaustion.
By pain. “You can do this,” I whisper, forcing the words out, trying to convince myself they’re true.
I inhale slowly, hold it, then exhale just as steadily, then grab a paper towel, drying my face with shaky hands, pulling myself together—just enough. When I return to the bedroom, Colt is trembling again, so I slide back into bed beside him.
His body tenses, then softens, a quiet whimper escaping his lips. “Dee?”
His eyes snap open, wide, frantic. Lost.
I smile softly, reassuring him the only way I can.
Colt shifts toward me, his body seeking warmth, comfort, anything to grab onto. “Hold me,” he mumbles.
My heart clenches as I pull him closer, aligning our bodies, my arm draping over him.
He buries his face in my chest, and I hold on like I’m trying to keep him from slipping away.
This is the closest I’ve been to Colt in months.
But it doesn’t feel like lovers reconnecting.
It feels like a mother comforting her broken child.
His shaking worsens, his breathing ragged and uneven.
He’s struggling.
He’s suffering.
And there’s nothing I can do.
I hold him tighter, feeling every tremor, every sharp inhale, every broken piece of him that I can’t fix. The frustration is overwhelming. The helplessness is suffocating.
A lump rises in my throat, and I try to swallow it down, but the tears come anyway, hot and heavy. I knew this would be bad, but I didn’t know it would be this bad. Didn’t know it would make me want to scream from pure frustration.
A few tears slip down my cheeks, dampening his hair.
But I don’t pull away.
Eventually, Anna and Johnny step inside.
“Hey, Dee. Do you want a break? I can watch him while you recharge and have something to eat and drink?” Johnny asks, and I shake my head.
Anna frowns, looking concerned as I swipe the tears from my face. “I can’t leave him,” I reply.
Colt’s still shaking violently, and I don’t want him to think for one second that I’ve given up on him. He tightens his hold around my waist, almost like he can hear what I’m saying, although I’m quite sure he’s so far out of it right now it’s only a coincidence.
“Dee, you need to eat something,” Anna pleads.
“I’ll eat when we land and Colt’s checked in and settled.”
“Dee, that’s a couple of hours away.”
“Anna… leave it,” Johnny says, taking Anna’s hand and pulling her away.
We’ve been in the air for what feels like a long time, which means we should be getting close to London. When the door opens again, I don’t bother looking up to see who it is.
“Um… Dee.” I close my eyes tight when I hear Huxley’s voice, then exhale loudly so he knows just how annoyed I am with him.
“Look… I know I stuffed up. I know I’m mostly to blame for how Colt is right now, and trust me, I never wanted this to happen.
” If my eyes were open, I’d fucking roll them.
“I just want you to know that I am grateful you came back. I know how much this means to my brother. Also, I’ve made sure that Dragon’s Lair is never to tour with us again.
So, you no longer have to worry about Coslecki bringing drugs around. ”
I release a shaky breath, the relief so intense it almost hurts. Finally, I don’t have to worry about Jared anymore.
“I’ve also made sure that Jessi is removed from our entourage list, and even if she tries to come back after Colt ensured she left, she won’t be able to.”
That little nugget almost makes me grin. I had no idea Colt was the one who gave her the boot, and damn, that makes me proud. Guess my rock god’s finally learning how to handle a bitch when he sees one.
“One last thing before I leave you alone. When you check Colt into the Priory, I’m going to check myself in as well.
I called ahead, and they have an opening, so I took it.
I want you to know that I am truly sorry…
” he sighs, “… for everything. I know I’ve been a complete arsehat, and I know I’ve let everyone down, especially you, and I really want to make it up to you.
You’re important to Colt, so you’re important to me.
And well, I guess I just wanted you to know that,” he admits.
I don’t know if I’m in shock or awe, but either way, it feels amazing that Hux wants to turn his life around as well. My eyes flick open, and sincerity is shining back at me, so I say, “Thank you.”
Hux exhales, and with a short chin dip, he spins and walks out of the room.
I nuzzle back into Colt, and maybe now I can see a light at the end of this dark and tumultuous tunnel.
Tamara steps in a little later and tells me we’re landing soon. I’ll be glad to be off this damn jet. My flying nerves, mixed with the emotion of taking care of Colt, are overwhelming.
When the jet finally touches down, Colt stirs in my arms.
“It’s okay, babe, we’re nearly there,” I whisper into his ear as I stroke his hair. His response is a moan.
At least his shakes have dissipated. They haven’t completely stopped, but they’re better than they were.
Johnny enters with a wheelchair, and I finally let Colt out of my grasp. As soon as I untangle myself from him and sit up on the bed, he reaches out for me. I take his hand in mine and squeeze, letting him know I’m still here.
Johnny leans down, picks up Colt, and places him in the wheelchair. Colt slumps over, and my heart breaks when I see how weak he is. My strong, overly confident, dominant man is a shell of who he normally is, and that thought kills me.
“How are you doing?” Johnny asks as we head to the jet exit.
“I’m fine. Keeping it together for him.”
“You’re amazing. Most girls would have run a mile by now.
Instead, you ran a mile back to him.” He runs a hand through his hair.
“A Hummer is waiting for us. It will take us to the clinic so we can say goodbye to the boys and let them know they have our continued support. Rob thinks the fans will love it or some shit,” Anna says, and I nod.
We get Colt into the car and head toward the Priory. I keep glancing at Hux, who is quiet, his fingers twitching in his lap, his knee bouncing like he’s barely holding it together.
Nerves.
I feel them too.
Colt starts to stir, his body heavy as he leans into me, his weight pressing firmly against my side, like he is too weak to hold himself up.
I swallow hard.
Even I’m nervous.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to see him, talk to him. Hell, I don’t even know if he will be okay once he’s inside.
All I know is that I have to be here…
When he goes in.
And when he comes out.
We pull up to the clinic, and before the car even fully stops, a nurse is already waiting with a wheelchair. Johnny helps Colt into it, steadying him when his legs threaten to give out.
Colt’s eyes are open now—barely.
Glazed.
Distant.
He doesn’t say much, his body limp, his head lolling slightly as if he’s floating between worlds.
We step inside, the air cold, sterile, suffocatingly quiet. A woman with a warm smile and a man with a clipboard and a no-nonsense demeanor greet us, launching straight into policies and procedures.
It’s overwhelming.
Too much, too fast.
The words blur together, muffled beneath the pounding in my head, the anxiety clawing at my ribs. So I just sit there, my grip tightening around Colt’s hand, clinging to him like an anchor in a storm.
Every now and then, he stirs. His heavy-lidded, exhausted eyes search for me like he’s making sure I’m still here.
I force a smile.
A small, reassuring lie.
Because truthfully?
I don’t feel reassured at all.
Hux walks over and rests his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry, Dee. I’m gonna make sure he’s okay. I let him down before, but I won’t do it again. I promise,” he reassures.
I well up, and a single tear falls down my cheek. “Thanks, Hux. I needed to hear that. I’m proud of you, and I know you can do this.” I pull back and look at him. He takes a shuddering breath, seemingly nervous, before he turns and walks toward the entry.
I bend so I’m level with Colt, who opens his eyes. “I love you, and I’ll be here in twenty-eight days to bring you home, okay?”
“I know,” he replies quietly, then takes my hand and holds it tightly. I walk alongside his wheelchair to the entry point, where the nurse stops for me to say my final goodbye.
“Until the end of time, Colt,” I say, and he smiles. Then he’s wheeled through the entry and out of sight.
Anna is by my side quickly, and I can’t stop the tears from falling.
“They’re both getting the help they need, Dee. Twenty-eight days isn’t long. He’ll be back and better before you know it,” Anna states.
“We have a spare room if you want to stay with us?” Johnny asks as he walks over.
Their offer humbles me, but I need to see Princess Sophia and the boys.
“Thanks so much, guys, but I’ll stay at Joseph’s. Everything is there, and so is Princess, and I really want to curl up with her in bed,” I reply as we walk out of the clinic.
We all slide into the Hummer. Thankfully, the drive is short, and they aren’t interested in filling the time with small talk. I’m both emotionally and physically exhausted to do anything other than sleep.
“I’ll let you know when he calls,” I tell Anna as we pull up to Joseph’s condo, and she hugs me goodbye.
“Yeah, but call me every day, and maybe next week we can catch up for dinner?”
I don’t agree to dinner. Being exhausted, I can’t think. Instead, I reply, “Thanks for everything. I love you both so much.”
Dingo and Sia wave from the window as Anna and Johnny slide back into the car. I lift my hand in farewell, watching as they drive off, their figures disappearing into the distance.
My body sags as I move to the front door and rustle around in my bag, looking for the keys, when it swings open, and before I know what’s happening, I’m swept up in strong arms and held tightly.
“Sweetie, why didn’t you tell us you were coming back? It’s all over the news that Colt has gone into rehab. Does that mean you guys are sorting it out?” Joseph asks, eventually letting me go and holding me at arm’s length.
It’s so good to see Joseph after the trauma of the past few days.
“We’re going to work things out. He’s getting better, and then we’ll see where it goes. Wait! What are you doing at home? Shouldn’t you be at work?” I ask as he walks over and drags my luggage inside.
He smiles brightly and shakes his head. “I quit. You showed me that life’s too short and I can’t be bothered working somewhere I hate. Danny and I are opening our own little restaurant,” he says as we walk inside and close the door.
“Oh my God, Joseph, that’s amazing news. I’m so proud of you guys.” I step into the living room and slump on the couch.
He sits next to me and pulls me to his side. “So, tell me all about it…”