Chapter Sixteen
This time when Rodrigo came to pick me up, my sisters weren’t home. Liz had grabbed the keys to the car as soon as she’d returned and taken Diane with her to the grocery store. There hadn’t even been time to tell them I wouldn’t be there when they got back.
I’d leave a note.
After a long shower, I felt wonderfully clean. There was nothing like being repulsively dirty to make soap and water seem like a gift from the gods. By the time I was done, I’d decided I was wearing the dress I’d recently bought.
Sliding it down my body made me tingle. It had been a long time since I’d worn a dress, especially a new one. I felt feminine, another sensation that was unexpected.
Was this what dating was supposed to be like?
I could get used to it.
Taking my new cosmetics into the bathroom, I applied them as the young girl at the counter had shown me. Unfortunately, I’d been unable to get a haircut, but had one scheduled before we left. After forty years as a rancher’s wife and mother, it was time to explore who else I could become before life was over.
Rodrigo showed up exactly when he said he was going to.
“You look wonderful,” he said, kissing me on the cheek.
“And clean too,” I pointed out.
“Yes,” he said with a chuckle. He walked me to the passenger door and closed it after I was settled. I had to fight the knee-jerk reaction to tell him I’d been getting in and out of cars and trucks for a very long time.
He was an old-fashioned man, comfortable with traditional courtesies. I had the feeling he treasured women, would treat them with the utmost respect, and do everything in his power to make sure they knew it.
It was a powerful aphrodisiac. I’d never experienced such regard in all my years I’d been married to Michael.
I didn’t want to stop experiencing it.
“Do you like seafood or Italian?” he asked.
“What? Not Mexican?” I kidded him .
“I figured we both needed a break. I like other kinds of food, you know. And we’re so rich in this country to be able to have a wonderful variety. Or do you want Thai or Chinese?”
“Seafood,” I said definitively. I could get Thai and Chinese in Butte. Having seafood this close to the source was something the three of us had been enjoying since reaching New York.
“Seafood it is,” he said and put the car into gear.
On the way, he asked me how the rest of the day had gone. I told him about some of the odder things his cousin and I had cleaned, and how Trixie Lynn came back several times to see how we were doing.
“One time, she pulled me aside and questioned me to find out exactly when we were leaving. She told me you were looking for something long term, so we’d never work out.”
“That woman is too much in my business,” Rodrigo said.
“Maybe you should give her a chance after I leave.”
My statement landed with a thud on the console between us. My insides had clutched as soon as I said the words.
He was quiet for a while, maintaining the illusion that he was concentrating on driving, not on the impact of the words I’d just said.
“Trixie Lynn is not the woman I want,” he said as he pulled into the restaurant parking lot.
I waited for him to continue, but that’s where he left it.
As we walked into the restaurant, I tried to think of something humorous to tell him, but every bit of funny seemed to have departed. We were shown right to the table and presented with large menus covering every type of seafood a person could possibly dream up, including ceviche.
I ordered something called a redfish Pontchartrain, a rich-sounding dish that included crab, shrimp, rice, and a butter wine sauce along with the redfish. Rodrigo ordered a blackened catfish dish.
“Would you like some wine?” he asked.
“If we’re going to a movie …” I said. After an active day and a rich meal, I didn’t want to be snoring away while the film still rolled.
“Perhaps iced tea?” he asked.
“Sounds good.”
Once our ordering was over, the minor conversational bump in the road had smoothed out. Rodrigo told me about the cows that had started to drop their calves, and the search for them in the field to tag them and make sure they were okay.
“At least you don’t have to do it in snow,” I said. “Every once in a while we get a mostly white calf. Man, is that a pain in the you-know- where.”
He laughed. “That’s why you should stay here. There is no snow.”
“Montana’s in my blood,” I told him. “I can’t ever imagine living away from there on a permanent basis.”
“But what will you do in the cold of the winter next year? Didn’t you say your son and his family have taken over operations?”
“Yes, but an extra pair of hands is always useful. They’re talking about trying for one more child—they already have two—so that means my daughter-in-law won’t be as agile as she could be.”
“I understand. A woman never knows which road a pregnancy will take.” He took a sip of the drink the waitress had dropped off. Then he looked up at me, his dark eyes kind, but concerned. “When will it be your turn, Kathleen?”
“What do you mean? I’m a little old to get pregnant, don’t you think?”
He chuckled. “That’s not what I meant. From what you’ve told me, you’ve worked hard over your life to raise your children and build your ranch for your family, including your sisters. It sounds like you and your husband did most of the work until he couldn’t anymore, then you took over.”
“That about covers it,” I said, my smile cautious. I’d been around Rodrigo long enough to know that he thought almost like an attorney, laying the groundwork, then going in for the killer conclusion.
“I have a feeling there’s more to that story,” he said, his gaze direct enough that I had to look away.
My problems with Michael were going to stay buried … forever.
“Nope.” I forced a smile. “Until we took off on this adventure.”
He grinned, and I relaxed.
“Family,” he said. “It brings me joy. Before you leave, I’ll have to invite all my children and their families over to meet the women from Butte, Montana.”
“That would be wonderful. Do they live close?”
“Most of them,” he said, and began to tell me all about his children: Juan, Miranda, Angelica, Luis, and Miguel. We’d talked about them before, but this time I could see his pride in his children as well as his deep love for them.
“You and your wife must have worked hard to raise such successful people,” I said.
“My wife was a good woman,” he said. “We were good parents, I think. It was natural for us to put family first. I don’t think that’s true for everyone. I see so many families where people struggle even to like each other. And now, with all the division in this country, it’s even easier for brothers and sisters to call themselves enemies for life. It is tragic.”
I thought about a few long term feuds in my own family. My relatives were quick to anger and slow to forgive. Even my sisters and I had held grudges that we’d never talked about until this trip.
Diane’s idea of the three of us taking a year to get to know each other and see the country had been so much more of a blessing than I’d anticipated. My main objective had been to get away from the house where I’d felt locked away for a long time. I didn’t realize how much fun we’d have with each other, or that any of us would fall in love.
Was that what I was doing here? Was I falling in love with Rodrigo?
“But I am with a beautiful woman, so why am I talking about such painful matters?” he said with a smile. “My wife and I had a good marriage, our children are doing well, and my ranch is thriving. She’s been gone for a long time, and I have the good fortune now to meet someone new, if only for a little while.” He raised his iced tea, and we clinked.
The waitress brought our food not long after. My meal was divine, and I told him so.
“How is Star?” I got around to asking him.
“I think you’ve spoiled her,” he said. “She’s pining for you. You’ll need to come see her again soon.”
“I’d like that. It would be good to go riding with you again.”
“We should trailer the horses to the Hill Country Natural Area and go riding there. I’m sure Antonia would pack us a lunch.” His grin was wicked. “Unless that is something you’d like to do.”
“Not on a bet,” I said. “My jail sentence in a kitchen is over.”
He frowned, but I could tell it was fake.
“You mean if we ever got married, you wouldn’t cook for us?”
“Antonia has nothing to fear about losing her job. I know my strengths and cooking isn’t one of them. Got a tractor that needs fixing, and I’m you’re woman. I can sew a button if I must, but there’s no guarantee the button or the thread will match the garment. Let’s see, what other womanly duties do I fail at?”
“There is one I hope you do not fail at, not in the least.” The wicked grin was back.
My fair skin, I was sure, blazed red. My mind raced to find a comeback.
“Nope, that’s as good as it gets. ”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I think you kiss fairly well.”
“And what are you implying?”
“I think you know very well what I have in mind.”
“Well, you can just leave it in your mind,” I said. My female parts had roused themselves and were perking with interest. Literally.
I pointed my fork at him. “We’re friends. That’s it. We can’t be anything more.”
“Why not?” His face was suddenly serious.
I looked at him in astonishment. “It’s obvious.”
“Is it?”
Shaking my head I took another forkful of my meal. I wasn’t going to get into this conversation.
I couldn’t. There were way too many minefields. My only experience with a man was with Michael, and he had failed me. That fact colored my perspective about any man, any prospective relationship in my future.
It would take an exceptional man to get past that hurdle. Rodrigo might be able to reach that bar, but there were too many other things stacked against us including culture and the fact that we lived in two different states.
All we had in common was our ranching experience and our church.
I wasn’t going to think about how strong those two bonds might be.
~ ~ ~
After offering several selections, Rodrigo left the choice of movie up to me. I chose a rom-com starring some older actresses that had been stars in all the movies I’d grown up with. I needed familiarity, and I needed some good laughter.
After dinner, we skipped the soda and popcorn, and settled into the large, comfortable seats.
Rodrigo looked at the heavy arm between us with a frown. He felt under it, nodded, and then pushed it up so it nestled in between the back of our seats. The bottom was padded so it looked like it was part of the back.
“Better,” he said.
I wasn’t so sure about that. I was already too aware of his body so close to mine.
Why now? I’d managed to live the past decade without even giving a moment’s thought to sex. With Rodrigo next to me, I was very aware of my body’s reaction to his closeness.
After all the times I’d told my sisters they were oversexed, the universe was having the last laugh.
Nothing was going to come of it though. I would be celibate unless I remarried—highly unlikely. I’d keep myself under control until we made it safely out of Texas.
Maybe I’d tolerate a few more kisses, but that was definitely going to be it.
I definitely didn’t want my sisters to think I was going to turn out like them.
Rodrigo’s hand clasped mine, and I turned toward him.
He smiled, and my heart went thumpity-thump, just like in the old cartoons.
This was not good.
“Do you go to see a lot of movies?” I said, in the most neutral tone I could manage.
“Rarely. I usually stream at home.” He leaned closer. “It’s much more comfortable to snuggle up with someone there than on these seats.”
“You mean with Trixie Lynn?”
He gave a mock shiver. “Never.”
“With your wife then?”
His gaze saddened. “Not really. She was always busy as we watched television: crocheting, mending one of the kid’s clothes, something like that. I tried to get her to relax, but she said she didn’t have time.”
“I know the feeling.” I’d made similar choices. It was a good way to keep distance between Michael and I, to escape the longing for something that was no longer possible.
He gently squeezed my hand. “I’d love to have you sit next to me on my couch and watch a movie,” he said.
“Then why don’t you take her home and do that!” some guy behind us muttered loud enough for us to hear.
We both started laughing. By the time we had our outburst fully muffled, the movie had started. Within moments, we were laughing again. This time the audience joined in with us.
~ ~ ~
“That was great,” I said to Rodrigo as we left the theater .
“Yes,” he replied. “That’s the power of a great movie. It can take us away from reality for a while.”
I nodded, but didn’t feel like saying much. The movie and catharsis of laughter had left me feeling happy and content.
“I have one more stop I’d like to make before I take you home,” he said.
“Where’s that?”
“It’s a small park. They have an observation tower there. If we climb up, we’ll have a great view of the city.”
It sounded like an isolated spot. Exactly the wrong place to go if I wanted to keep our relationship from going any further than it already had.
“I’m not sure,” I said.
“I’ll be a gentleman,” he said. “You can’t miss this view before you leave.”
For some reason, I was disappointed with his promise.
“Okay then.”
We got in the car, and he drove away from the city lights. Neither of us spoke, content to be together and quiet.
There were only a few cars in the lot of Eisenhower Park. One at the far end, almost in the shadows, had steamy windows that gave a clear idea of what the occupants were up to.
“I wonder what they’d do if we went up and rapped on the window,” I said when he opened my door.
“You have an evil mind,” he said. “Probably the same thing you would have done when you were a kid, and the car was the only place to explore all those luscious new feelings.”
“You mean see how far the girl would go,” I retorted.
“That too.” His grin was devilish. “And how far did you go?”
“None of your business,” I said, my face flaming with heat. I was grateful the light was dim. “But I was a virgin on my wedding night,” I announced proudly, at the same time aghast that I was saying those words out loud.
“I see,” he said. “I’m afraid I was not.”
I was about to tell him it was okay, he was a man, when I realized what a load of crap that was. That sexist belief had wormed its way into my brain at a very young age, just like a dozen others of its ilk. Like being a virgin on the wedding night. What else was that but a man’s need to make sure any progeny were his.
Ugh. What other thoughts was I carrying around that belonged back in the Middle Ages ?
“Where are you going?” Rodrigo called.
I stopped. Along with my raging thoughts, my feet had carried me along the pathway a good distance. Turning around, I walked back to where he stood.
“Sorry,” I said. “I got upset.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No.”
“Then?”
“It’s … well …” How did I say this without sounding like more of an idiot than I already felt?
He must have understood something because he nodded. “When you’re ready, we’ll talk about it. But for now, let me show you how beautiful the city can be.” He held out his hand.
I hesitated. Did taking his hand make me complicit in the continued inequality of the genders?
“Were you glad your wife was a virgin?” I asked.
He looked at me strangely.
“I’m not sure it occurred to me to be glad. Or even anticipate being sad if she hadn’t been. I asked before … well …” He dropped his hand and looked at the ground. “I didn’t want to hurt her,” he said quietly.
My affection for this man grew.
“My wife and I … it was complicated.” He looked up. “But I really, really don’t want to talk about it now. I want to be here. With you. That’s all. Is that all right with you?”
A sense of freedom flowed through me.
“Yes.”
This time when he held out his hand, I took it. When we reached the top of the tower, I stared at the sea of bright lights in front of me. Rodrigo pointed out some of the landmarks, including the tall buildings surrounding the plaza where the Alamo stood.
He put his arm around me and pulled me close.
It felt natural to lean my head on his shoulder.
“It’s beautiful country,” he said. “The lush blankets of flowers on the hills make me feel like a very rich man every spring. God lays out his bounty in this country. It’s got good feed for cattle, but other crops can be grown. There are a number of good colleges and trade schools. All of my children attended at least a two-year college,” he said, pride in his voice. “My wife and I believed it was important for their development as adults. Yes, everyone needs to find an occupation, to make their way in the world, but they also need to think.” He tapped his head.
“The world changes rapidly,” I said. “Think of how much is different from when we were kids. A simple device like the telephone has changed our lives.”
“Yes. And now we have AI. I’m not sure I understand it, but I know it’s a game-changer. It will affect even ranchers. In some ways it frightens me.”
“You’re the one who puts little doodads on his cows’ tails to find out when they’re ready to drop their calves. Good thing the cows can’t talk and tell you how they feel about that.”
He chuckled.
“That’s one of the things I like about you,” he said. “You aren’t afraid of speaking your mind.”
“You might find you’re tired of it pretty rapidly.”
“I don’t think so.” His voice was husky. He shifted, and I found myself looking into his eyes as he lowered his mouth toward mine. His movement was slow, giving me plenty of time to object if I wanted to do so.
It was so different from either the mad scramble of youth or accepting whatever crumbs Michael gave me as his libido waned.
Rodrigo was intentional, interested, and invested in my happiness.
His lips against mine were becoming more familiar. When he pressed for the kiss to become more intimate, I went along for the ride.
I don’t know how long we kissed, the lights spread out below us, our own internal glow overpowering the distant beams. As he’d asked, I was totally there, in that moment, enjoying his actions and my body’s response.
When he finally pulled away, we were silent. Once again we stared into the distance, his arm wrapped companionably around me. Time passed in quiet moments. There was no need to talk. Being together was enough.
I’d rarely felt so at peace.
We strolled back to the car.
The couple in the shadows were evidently still at it, and we smiled at each other. I leaned back against the car, almost inviting him for a repeat, and he obliged.
When strong beams arced up the driveway to the lot, we pulled apart.
Thumping from the car gave us the clue that the young lovers had recognized the signs as well.
We’d gotten into the car, and Rodrigo was driving away when his beams hit the car one more time. The timing was just right to see a gray-haired man, his hair all twisted around his head and an equally aged woman stagger from the car.
“O-kay,” Rodrigo said.
“They must be extremely agile,” I said, thinking about the interior of what looked to be a mid-life crisis sports car now that we’d seen the occupants.
“More agile than I am,” he said. “Give me a nice, comfortable, king-sized bed any day.”
“Sounds good,” I said without thinking.
“Then it’s a date?” he said.
Even in the dim light, I could tell his smile was wicked.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, buster,” I said.
“I’ll light candles and spread rose petals,” he said.
“Rodrigo!”
“Too soon?”
“Yes. Definitely yes!”
“Then I’ll be patient,” he said. He glanced over. “But I won’t give up.”
Instead of reminding him I was leaving, I enjoyed the glow of being wanted. At sixty-four, it was a feeling worth savoring.
~ ~ ~
Rodrigo escorted me to the door of the RV and left, but not before kissing me one more time. It wasn’t as passionate as the others had been, but I had no doubt my sisters had seen it.
As soon as I walked up the few steps to the living area, I knew I was right. Both of them were sitting there, already in their pajamas, wine in hand and smirking at me.
“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” I asked.
“We had to wait up for you,” Diane said.
Liz checked an imaginary wristwatch. “You’re very late, young lady. You’ll have to be grounded for the next week,” she said in a low voice that was eerily like my father’s.
“Stay out of my life,” I said.
“Like you stayed out of ours?” Diane said.
“We only went to dinner and the movies.” I poured myself a glass of water.
“And kissing,” Diane said.
“Lots of kissing,” Liz agreed .
I said nothing, and the silence stretched for a bit.
“Are you okay?” Liz asked in a more serious tone.
I nodded.
“We’re worried you’re getting in over your head,” Diane said.
Unexpected tears formed in my eyes. All kidding aside, my sisters were there for me. If Rodrigo ever hurt me, they’d go for his throat, which is why I’d never told them the truth about Michael.
“Love you guys,” I said, putting my glass down.
I spread my arms out, and we indulged in a very satisfying group hug.