Chapter Twenty-Two
The next morning I woke with a start in an unfamiliar bed. A bed with incredibly soft, white sheets. A soft breeze blew through an open window, the bright blue curtains waving gently beside them.
Wherever I was, I could linger in this dream for a while.
Outside of the hotel Liz had treated us to in New York City, this was the most luxurious bedroom I’d ever been in.
I propped myself on my elbows and looked around, then slumped back down with a smile on my face.
Nary a sock nor a pair of jockey shorts anywhere.
Heaven.
I touched my lips, and elicited memories of Rodrigo’s kiss. It had lasted a long while, growing slowly more erotic. When we broke apart, we looked into each other’s eyes for a long time, as if trying to solve the mystery of each other’s souls.
But I also knew there was an underlying question: Which bedroom would I sleep in that night?
For me, the answer was clear.
“I think we’d better stop,” I said. “We’ve got church in the morning.”
Cold water never cooled anyone down so fast.
“You’re right. And I don’t wish to go to confession first,” he said with a somewhat lame smile. “I’ll show you to the bedroom and where the guest bathroom is.”
We’d said our goodnights, and he returned to the kitchen to clean up. I’d asked if I could help, but he’d flat-out refused me.
“You’re my guest,” he said.
Gratefully, I’d gone about my business in the bathroom, where a fresh toothbrush and toothpaste had been supplied for guests. Antonia deserved sainthood.
I’d looked longingly at the sparkling tub, but had known I needed to get to bed.
Now morning snuck through the windows and let me know it was time to face the music. If I was lucky, Rodrigo would be sleeping in, and I’d be able to avoid him.
Before I even left my bedroom, I figured it was not going to work out for me.
“Did you sleep well?” he asked as I walked into the kitchen.
“Amazing,” I said. “I could have stayed in that bed forever … at least all day.”
“Then you will need to come back and spend the entire day in bed sometime,” he said with a grin. “That one … I mean … not anything else. Oh, god.” He wiped his hand down his face.
I laughed. “I get what you mean.” I was tempted to tell him the other meaning didn’t sound too bad either, but I refrained.
“Breakfast?” he asked.
“No, I really need to get home if I’m going to be there on time for service.”
He nodded.
“I understand,” he said. “I would like to sit with you, if that is all right.”
“That would be making a statement,” I said.
“I know.”
My chest tightened. It wasn’t a good idea, especially not for him. What if he wanted to date one of the women in the congregation after I was gone?
The image of him with someone else made it hurt to swallow.
But if this was all the time I was allotted with this man, I was going to take it.
“I’d be delighted,” I said.
“I’ll save you a foot of pew,” he said with a smile.
“Sounds like a plan. I’d better get going.”
“Yes. I suppose.” He leaned in and kissed me. “Do you have your earrings?”
I nodded.
He pulled the roses from the vase and wrapped a plastic bag on the bottom. “Don’t forget these.”
“Thank you again,” I said. “For everything. It’s the best Valentine’s Day I’ve had in … well … a long time.”
“I’m glad,” he said.
He walked me to the car, and Star nickered good morning.
I kissed his beard-roughened cheek and left.
~ ~ ~
The walk of shame into the RV went about the way I’d thought it would .
“Well,” Liz said the moment I walked in. “Do you need to go to confession?”
“No,” I said.
“Why not?” Diane asked.
“You know my position on all of that.”
“I think you’re carrying this too far,” Liz said.
“And I think it’s none of your damn business.”
“Well, you certainly made what I did your business,” she shot back. “Now it’s your turn.”
I hadn’t realized how annoyed she’d been when I’d expressed my opinion about her relationship with Walter. I glanced at Diane. She’d shrugged off my opinion much more easily.
Why?
“Hey,” Diane said. “Maybe give her a break, okay?”
“You feel the same way I do,” Liz said.
“I feel the same way you do for me ,” Diane said. “That doesn’t mean what I believe is right for everyone else.” She gave me a glance with that statement.
I got the message. If I didn’t want them critiquing my way of living, I’d best back off on theirs.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll never say another word about how you run your relationships if you stay out of mine.”
“Unless you’re invited in,” Diane said.
Liz nodded.
“Got it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to shower and get to church.”
“You want me to take care of the flowers?” Diane asked. “They’re nice, by the way.”
I looked at the roses in my hand.
“That would be great, thanks.” I handed the flowers to her.
Liz got up. “I’m proud of you,” she said, giving me an unexpected hug. “I know how much you’ve been resisting any kind of relationship. Rodrigo’s a nice man. For you to have a Valentine’s Day dinner with him is a big step.”
“I’m not going to marry him,” I said. “I want to make that perfectly clear. When Diane’s schedule says to leave, I’m driving us out of here.”
“Of course,” Liz said.
I squinted at her. “I mean it.”
“Yes. I know you do,” Liz responded.
Again, the tone of her voice didn’t fill me with confidence .
“Was it a good time?” Diane asked.
“Yes,” I said, my heart filling with warmth. “Nothing fancy, but he was fun to be with.”
“Let’s hear it for a man who’s fun to be with!” Diane said.
I looked at the clock.
“Go, go,” Liz said. “We’ll make cocktails later and you can tell us all about it.”
“As much as you want,” Diane added.
I hustled back to my room to pull out new underclothes and an outfit to wear to church. I took a quick shower and refreshed my make-up. I was beginning to understand its use to inspire confidence. With my new hairdo and Rodrigo’s attention, I was feeling stronger than I had in years.
Michael had ground me down more than I’d realized.
At the last moment, I put on the earrings Rodrigo had given me.
I almost made it back outside the RV.
“Wait!” Liz said. “What are those?”
“Blue topaz earrings,” I said as matter-of-factly as I could.
“Did he give those to you?” Liz asked, coming to inspect them.
Diane rushed over too. “They’re beautiful. Those aren’t cheap either.”
I touched my hands to my ears. I hadn’t thought about cost when I’d accepted them. Michael hadn’t bought me much jewelry beyond my engagement ring.
Did accepting the gift mean more than I’d thought it did?
“Stop it,” Liz said. “You shouldn’t have said anything about cost,” she told Diane. She took my hands. “Look, he gave them to you because he wanted to. He likes you … probably a bit more than that. He’s letting you know how much he cares for you. That’s it. Accept the gift for what it is, his appreciation of his time with you, no matter how short.”
“She’s right,” Diane said. “I shouldn’t have said anything. They look great on you. Now go knock ’em dead, especially that Trixie Lynn person.”
“Amen to that,” Liz said. “Now scoot!” She gave me a gentle shove toward the door.
My confidence restored, I got back into the car and went to church.
~ ~ ~
I got there in plenty of time to slip into the pew next to Rodrigo before it became too crowded. As we waited for the processional, I was aware of how close he was. There was something surreal about being in church next to someone who meant something to me, even if I didn’t know what that something was.
After the first year, Michael had become a Christmas-Easter Catholic, much to my parents’ dismay. No amount of talking by my father could persuade him otherwise. So I’d spent the other times sitting near my parents, waiting for the children to rejoin me after their Sunday School lessons.
Rodrigo seemed peaceful sitting in the pew and waiting.
I looked around me. I’d never sat in this pew before. It was a bit like I was sitting in a whole new church. People are creatures of habit and tend to sit in the same place in the same space. If teachers didn’t have seating charts, classes sorted themselves out. Woe to the person who took someone else’s place.
From my new pew, I got a different perspective on the people around me. Where I couldn’t see faces before, now I could. At the same time, I was presented with a new array of hair arrangements to view from behind.
Fascinating.
The sister-in-law didn’t come to this service, but I spotted the cousin, who gave me a wave and a thumbs up.
A few of the older women cut their gaze away when they saw me looking, but the men were thinking of something else, most likely their golf scores from yesterday or whatever sport they were watching this afternoon.
I tried to take Liz’s tack of not caring what other people thought, but it went against my mother’s indoctrination. It was all about what people thought of me.
Rodrigo put his hand on top of mine and squeezed gently, reassuring me that he was near, although he didn’t make a big deal of it.
The organ started.
As soon as we stood, he let go.
It was okay. I was now in safe territory.
Right up until the time to exchange the peace.
I turned behind me to shake hands, and ran smack into the cold blue eyes of Trixie Lynn. She held onto my hand a little too long and a lot too firmly. By the time I extricated myself, I was ready to move onto the next part of the service .
When it came time for communion, I took it with a clear conscience. I wasn’t guilty of anything beyond a nice dinner with an equally nice man.
At least that’s how I viewed it.
Because of our positions in the pews, Trixie Lynn was outside before we were.
Rodrigo didn’t push things by taking my hand, but every once in a while I could feel his hand on the small of my back. It kept me anchored.
I’d been aware that things would shift the moment I put my rear in the pew next to his, but I still wasn’t prepared for the reality of the intensity of the feelings. My skin tingled with the observation of people around me.
The priest—God bless his soul!—acted like the two of us together was the most natural thing in the world.
Trixie Lynn planted herself in our path as soon as she was able.
“Thank you so much for your help yesterday,” she gushed.
“No problem,” I said. “Glad to help.”
A man asked Rodrigo something, and he drifted away.
“Pretty earrings.”
“Yes.” I took a deep breath. “Rodrigo gave them to me last night.”
“Oh?”
Rodrigo turned back in time to hear her next words.
“Just don’t forget what I told you,” she hissed before walking away.
“What does that mean?” Rodrigo asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “Nothing at all.”
Except that wasn’t entirely true.