31. Xander
Chapter 31
Xander
Lithium — Nirvana
I stride to my parents’ rooms, tying back my hair into a knot as I do. I’ve just had a shower, but I’m already covered in a sheen of sweat, my mind racing, my heart still pumping.
My dragon rages within me—pulling at my seams, clawing at my insides, shredding at the sane parts of me. I clutch at my chest, commanding him to stop, but he’s unwavering in his pursuit of destroying me.
My mind flashes back to the hyena witch, cackling at me the other night. Somehow, she’d known this was coming. Her nasty words echo in my mind like a funeral chant.
I send out a shaky spear of a request towards my father. He obliges with resignation. When I get to the deep green double doors, embellished with the golden pattern of our house sigil, I raise a hand to stroke the raised wing of the dragon.
The door swing opens of its own accord, revealing my father sitting in his receiving room, a glass of whiskey in hand.
“I thought you would be deep…in conversation with your new wife by now.”
Grimacing as I step inside, I shut the door behind me with my power. “There are other matters on my mind,” I grit out, running a hand through my hair.
The mad energy within me is like a storm of fire and it makes me pace from one end of the room to the other. “My dragon is driving me mad. He’s angry like I’ve never seen him before.”
“Did you expect to gain sympathy from me?” Father sounds bored. “The consequences of your actions are yours to suffer alone.”
I pause to stare at him. He flatly meets my stare, the glow of the fireplace casting half his visage in harsh orange. I’d done what he’d asked of me. This has all been for our family. “When I fell, my earphone was pulled out of my ear. It could have been a disaster. I could have?—”
“If you had done, I would have killed you where you stood.” He pauses to take a sip from his glass, the picture of male arrogance. “It’s such a shame you took after your mother’s family. If you had taken after mine, it would be a different matter entirely. You’d be a completely different person. Likely, you would be rex of some pretty, obedient animas and I would have no concerns.”
Suppressing the oncoming groan takes colossal effort. Why did I ever think my father would give me advice? I have no one else to ask, that’s fucking why. There’s no one left to confide in. Scythe always had something wise to say, whatever the issue was. But fuck him. I glare at the gilded walls of his receiving room. “Where is Mother?”
Father levels me a look and I shake my head as I remember. After I was exiled, my parents chose the traditional route of sleeping. They both have their own suites, only seeking each other out when they feel the need. Mother has her maids who look after her, Father gets his…privacy.
My feet increase speed of their own accord, and I want to tear my clothes off. Hell, I want to rip my dragon out of my own head. “I don’t know how to fix this. How do I fix this?”
“Fly it off. We must speak of more important matters. Your plans have changed for tomorrow. The Hellfires will have to wait for their breakfast appointment. You will need to attend the meeting with the other region leaders. The last time was delayed because of the little Boneweaver’s heat. Can you handle it?”
“Is it necessary, Father?”
A log cracks and both of us look at it as he continues. “It is imperative that we do not leave the estate without a male. It will be a good chance to…introduce yourself.”
Reintroduce myself, he means. “Of course.”
“After your little display during your nuptials, you’ll have to make a strong impression. Clearly, nothing I taught you as a child has stuck.” He sips again, boot swinging in the air. “You’ll have to take the pet with you.”
“That makes a strong statement?” I ask dully. There’s a portrait of himself above the mantel. Shirtless, in his prime, our tribal tattoo rippling down the muscles of his left arm. I remember when I’d had mine done. It had been the morning after my first shift. So proud, I’d been then to share the same markings as my father.
“If the only thing she’s wearing is our collar, it definitely makes a statement.”
Pinching the bridge of my nose as my dragon roars in my head again, I nod. “Right. Right. Property and all.”
“Yes, you must be on high alert. They will test you. Do not embarrass me and this family.”
My stomach twists. “Of course, Father.” I’m ready to slash my claws through the stone wall of this very room. “I won’t let you down.”
He makes a sound I can barely hear, which is just as well because it was probably rude.
I bid goodnight to Father, feeling worse than before. Swinging a hard left to the closest window, I open it and jump right out, shifting as I do.
Bones grow massive as I fall, wings explode out of my shoulder blades, and all I know is the deep-seated burning release that feels even better than coming. Finally. Finally .
But where before my dragon stretched happily after a shift, tonight, every drop of rain only increases my irritation. Every beat of my wings fans the fire of this never-ending rage.
They can probably hear my roars in the closest town.