89. Xander
Chapter 89
Xander
Say Yes to Heaven — Lana Del Rey
S cythe has just finished with the last piece of my skin at my hand when Aurelia comes into the dining room, freshly showered and smelling sweet and fresh. She freezes in the doorway.
I stand up, showing her the bloody mess of my arm, skinless and free of the tattoo that shackled me. That told the world I belonged to something I abhor. Her eyes flick from my arm to the silver bowl full of my tattooed skin Scythe has on the floor.
Her eyes grow wide, her pupils dilate, and she makes a strangled sound before she whirls around and flees for the bathroom, a hand covering her mouth.
“Aurelia,” I cry, rushing for her, my arm outstretched.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Scythe says, pushing his body into my way.
I snarl, “Give me a moment with her, for fuck’s sake!”
Lyle shoulders past Scythe, meeting me nose for nose. He snarls, the rabid in his eyes on full display. “Push me, Xander. I fucking dare you to push me.”
For a moment, I wonder if we should let our mad monsters at one another. My mouth twitches in annoyance and pain of a different sort. “I did this for her.”
“You did this for yourself,” he says, his lion’s voice deep and guttural. “Like everything else you’ve ever done.”
I blink, stepping away from him, wondering if that is true. “No, I…”
Two pairs of eyes are on me, one amber, one ice cold. Under their gazes, I sit back in my chair, staring at my empty hands. “You’re right. It was for me. To show that I’m…”
“You think you’re different because you said sorry?” Lyle asks, aghast.
I stare at him. “People can change, Lyle, you know that! I just beheaded a phoenix for her!”
“Maybe,” he says, amber eyes shrinking as his human side assumes control. “Your little speech was a good one, I’ll give it that. But it’ll only ever be that. A speech.”
“Every word was true,” I say firmly.
Lyle takes a deep breath and looks at Scythe as if waiting for confirmation. My shark-brother nods, assessing me. “He was speaking the truth.”
“He can’t have spoofed you?” Lyle asks, almost desperately. “Tricked your psyche in some way?”
It hurts, this questioning of my words. Of me. As I sit here bleeding, with the blood of Damien Agnis on my hands. Not that I care about him, it’s that they don’t think it means anything.
“He cried, you know,” I say softly. “As he died. Damien. He thought he was invincible for so long. Told me he was a protected species. Told me I’d pay for it. Told me it was a curse to kill a creature as pure as a phoenix.” I laugh darkly. “Do you want to know what I said?” I slump back in my chair, not even knowing why I’m even telling them, just that I have to get it out. “I said…‘tell my regina that’.” My laugh is even crazier this time. “‘You know who she is?’ I said. ‘Aurelia Boneweaver. And after I made that perfect soul bleed, no curse could ever beat that one.’” I look up at the ceiling, to wherever Damien’s spirit now is. “Did you hear that, you fucking old duck? My curse trumps your curse!”
Light footsteps sound, and Aurelia is hobbling up to me, her eyes wet from the stress of vomiting. I raise a bloody hand, then drop it uselessly. “Don’t feel sorry for me.”
“I don’t,” she says simply. “But I feel sorry for anyone who has to listen to you feeling sorry for yourself.”
I gape at her.
“You heard me.” She walks right up to me and grabs my face in one hand, squeezing my cheeks together. I gaze at her in delight and wonder. “Stop it. Right now, stop this. I’m sick of it. Sick of being sad and lost. I want it to stop, and you’re not helping.” She lets me go and I sit up in the chair.
“How can I help?”
“Go back to your normal, arrogant self.”
Savage gapes at her and Lyle looks at her in surprise. My brows fly up. “But…why?”
She puts her hands on her hips. “Because then things will at least feel normal. No—” She puts her hands up to Savage’s protests. “I know they’re not normal. I know that Xander did something I can never forgive. I just need normalcy for a second.” She shifts uncomfortably and I know her leg pains her. I want to heal her. I want to help.
“What about this?” I hold up the golden chain still hanging from the collar at my neck.
“I don’t want it,” she frowns. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m quite done with it.”
“Fine, but I’m keeping the collar on.”
“Wild Goddess, fine .”
“Are you… exasperated with me?” I breathe.
She shakes her head in dismay. “Yes, you overgrown gecko.” She looks around at the rest of them. “Look, I don’t think he’s going to turn around and betray us, and in all fairness, he can’t hurt me any fucking more than he already has. It’s not like he can cut the bond again.”
Goddess that hurt. Something in me erupts in violent protest at her words, but with one look from her, I shut my mouth.
“So…” she says on an exhale. “Can we just…go back to normal for one fucking day?”
“Whatever you want,” Lyle and I blurt at the same time.
We scowl at each other.
“But,” she says, turning towards me, her chin raised. “You don’t really have the right to call me regina. I’m not.”
My insides deflate, my soul along with it. This cut is deeper than any other. I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. “What can I call you then?”
She narrows her eyes at me, no doubt running through the list of names I used to call her. The bad ones…and the good ones. “Just…my name is fine.”
I nod. “Of course. Whatever you like.”
She raises a brow at me.
“I’ll make up for it, you’ll see.”
She sighs and I’m not sure if she believes me. “Let’s just get to bed. Do you need to see a healer?”
“No, Aurelia.”
Savage rolls his eyes, putting his arm possessively around her. I narrow my eyes at it. “I need a moment alone with you. Will you grant me that?”
The three lethal animuses wait for a response.
Her chest expands with breath. “Alright. You three head into our room and don’t come out unless I say so.”
None of them are happy, but I don’t care. I need to be closer to her, if just for a moment. And as they leave, casting me murderous looks over their shoulders, I rise from the chair and step off the plastic.
“Will you help me with this?” I hold up the white bandage roll.
She takes it, because it’s second nature to her, and sets the end against the back of my hand. I enjoy her attention on me, depraved as it is. Enjoy her small, gentle touches.
Fuck. I always had. I’d just never allowed myself to really feel that.
“Was the speech too much?” I ask in a low voice. Gods, her scent is the most perfect thing. Up close, I can smell her toothpaste.
She swallows. “I’m not sure.” Her hands are so gentle, so soft, even though she’s not touching my skin. I let her get to my bicep, savouring her movements, her breathing, her face, before I speak again.
“I meant all of it,” I whisper. “Every last word. And even if you hate me, I’m glad you feel something for me. I can hold on to that.”
“Xander,” she whispers, blinking hard at my bleeding arm.
“Gods, say my name again.” I raise my hand, ready to risk it all just for one touch of her cheek. My fingers brush her soft skin, tingles flooding all the way down my good arm.
She inhales, closing her eyes.
I lean closer, wanting to share her breath. “Just one more time.”
A tear trails her cheek, but she graces me with her eyes, lids fluttering open, long dark lashes drawing me in. I want to covet these jewels for myself. I want to take her away to my horde again.
She inhales deeply and I revel in the joy it gives me to see that she enjoys my scent. I lean closer, letting her smell me. “Give me what I want,” I whisper. “Please.”
That seems to interest her. She pulls back, looking into my eyes. “Beg for it.”
My cock hardens. Holding her gaze, I slowly drop to my knees on the blood-splattered plastic. We’re so close that I can’t help but press my forehead to her stomach, my hands coming around to brush my fingers against her calves. She shivers. I look up at her, enamoured by the power she has over me. To make me this hard, this desperate for her touch.
“Please,” I whisper. “ Please let me have you.”
She gives a tiny shake of her head that excites me to no end. “Not good enough.”
“I can’t live knowing I can’t have you,” I say, watching those sapphires glimmer. My fingers skim the backs of her thighs. “Your skin is so soft. I beg you to let me taste it. To lick it. To suck on it.”
Her breathing is heavy, but still, she shakes her head. My insides burn. I make tiny circles on her skin. “Aurelia,” I breathe. “If you let me taste your pussy, suck your clit just once, I can live happy knowing I’ve tasted heaven one last time. I’m desperate to bury my face in your sweet cunt. If I don’t hear you moan in pleasure, it’ll destroy me.” I gently squeeze the backs of her thighs. “My life depends on having your mouth on mine. Fuck, my cock is so hard.”
She looks down for the evidence, track pants tenting as my cock strains. “You want to eat me out, Xander?”
I rest my chin on her stomach, inhaling her scent and revelling in my name on her lips. “I’ll kill every beast in this academy just for one lick. One kiss of that precious pussy, Lia. I’ll burn this entire state alive just for one look at you, splayed naked on that dining table.”
She hums, stepping away from me and pulling her dress over her head. I can’t breathe, can’t think as she tosses her dress to the floor and undoes her bra. That too drops to the floor and my mind seizes in maddened desire.
“A gift,” I whisper, reaching out to run a finger against her thigh. “You’re a gift to the fucking world. To me.”
“Take this off.” She indicates to the tiny blue thong she’s wearing.
“Can I kiss here?” I breathe, pointing to her lower stomach and hoping against hope she’ll permit me.
“Yes,” she says quietly, stepping forward.
I lean in, wrapping my arms around her thighs and pressing my lips against the place where cloth meets skin. Soft, sweet heaven. I can’t help it, and open my mouth, dragging my tongue against her perfection. I skim my fingers up the back of her thighs, all the way up to her bare ass. She moans softly, leaning into me, burying her hands in my hair.
I hook my fingers into the thong and gently tug it down, sending healing into her right leg as I go and licking the soft skin above her pubic hair. Surrounding her with my power, I lift her off the ground and set her on the dining table. Her eyes are heated as she puts her hands behind her knees and pulls them up.
If I wasn’t already on my knees, I would’ve dropped at the sight of her. A glistening sweet cunt is splayed before me. The finest jewel that, for these next moments, if she permits, I get to worship.
My mouth waters, and as I move forward, she peers down at me.
She halts me with her voice. “And if I told you just to look?”
I grip the leg of the chair next to me, needing to steady myself. “Then I would worship you at the altar of your pussy by kneeling here.”
She looks at me, and I drag my eyes away from her core to look at her. There is challenge there, and it makes me lick my lips.
“Please,” I beg. “Just one lick.”
“Just one lick.” She nods.
I swallow in anticipation, my breathing strained as I ready myself. I shuffle forward and hover my mouth over her, inhaling that heady scent that makes me want to fall into her and never leave. I let my breath tickle over her clit and she shivers.
She’s biting her lip now, clutching the table like it’s going to save her from me. I lean forward and drag my soft tongue up the entire length of her core, from cunt to clit. She tilts her head back and whimpers.
“Just one, you said,” I murmur over her clit.
“Maybe just one more,” she whispers.
Smiling, I delve my tongue between her, running it through her juices, savouring every divot and curve, flicking her clit at the last moment. “So good,” I whisper, my lips brushing that sensitive spot. “So perfect. Open yourself for me.”
She does so with her left hand. “Another one,” she breathes.
“Always,” I say, licking under and over her clit, swirling my tongue around it and then all the way down until I find that tender hole. I enter her with my tongue and she gasps, dropping back onto the table, like the feast she is, displayed for me and only me. I use my lips then, sucking on every part of her, tasting each and every sweet inch of flesh and finally sucking her clit. She writhes on the table, moaning loudly and I grin, knowing the others are hearing her and are furious about it but forbidden to come out and see.
I flutter my tongue over her core, forcing her to feel all of my desire.
“In me,” she breathes. “In me, now.”
I freeze before raising my left hand and brushing my fingers against her. She whimpers and I rise to my feet. She’s splayed out before me, naked, her curves made for my hands, her skin made for my tongue. I tease her pussy with my forefinger and she meets my gaze, a mixture of emotions glimmering through her eyes. She doesn’t want to like this, but she does. She’s dripping onto the table, right where Lyle was sitting not long ago. Raising my fingers to my mouth, I suck on them, closing my eyes to savour her taste before easing my first finger into her dripping heat.
Her back bows from the table and I lean over her, wanting to be close. “This is how you make me feel,” I whisper, closing my eyes as her slick, wet heat grips onto my finger. “This is how much I need you. Give yourself to me. I don’t fucking deserve it, Aurelia, but—” I grab the back of her neck with my other hand, and despite the pain of it, kiss her deeply, my tongue entering her just like my finger, her lips around mine, my mouth desperate. I ease back to murmur against her lips, “I want you to give yourself to me anyway.”
“You’re mad,” she says. “You don’t deserve any of it.”
“I know,” I say, pumping my fingers until her eyes roll back. “You’re right. You’ve always been right. I’m a depraved fucking asshole that the devil doesn’t even want in hell, but all I want is you. All I can fucking think about is you.”
“Less talk, more tongue, asshole.”
I exhale at the command, thoroughly pleased as I drop to my knees again. I add my tongue to her clit, sucking softly at first. She’s swollen with pleasure and I grin against her, working her until she’s trembling and gasping. I pursue her orgasm like a predator on a hunt.
When she comes, the sound of her wetness against my finger is loud and messy and I don’t relent, groaning against her sweetest spots, wringing every last bit of satisfaction from her until her back thumps against the table and she goes limp and breathless.
There is a moment, when she and I are simply breathing, when my finger is still inside of her and my face is still buried in her pussy, that I finally feel a slither of satisfaction. It’s fleeting, but it’s there.
I clean her up with my tongue. Lapping up every last bit of evidence of her desire for me, keeping it for me and my greedy dragon. Then I get to my feet and see that Aurelia’s eyes are closed as she catches her breath. A hand supports her right leg and I immediately gather her into my arms, supporting her behind both knees.
Thankfully, she lets me, probably spent and wanting to revel in the golden afterglow, a small reprieve from all the pain she suffers.
Then I carry her into the bedroom.
I find the three of them pacing the room, glowering and muttering under their breaths, in a nest of violence. I’m unsuccessful in hiding my smirk as I lay her gently on the bed and cover her, tucking the blankets tight along her sides.
They surround me, sniffing aggressively and checking their regina for any sign of harm. Savage gives me a violent shove, and I let him.
“Don’t worry, I did a good job,” I reassure them.
And because they fucking heard that I did, they say nothing more.