Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“Take me back to Hadleigh manor.”
The coach man bowed as Godric climbed into the carriage, saying as he snapped the reigns of the horses.
“Right away, Your Grace.”
Godric leaned against the plush velvet cushions behind him and tried to get his racing thoughts to calm down for a moment.
He had come searching for answers and now that he had attained them, he wondered for a moment what he would do next.
“Stick to the plan. There is no need to change anything anyway,” he muttered, willing his mind to clear out the nagging sensation brewing within.
His problem no longer lay in his plot for revenge but rather in the bridges he had burned to get where he was now. Godric could only imagine how Nora felt after she had heard his admission, and somehow the expression on her face had kept him stuck in a state of guilt.
He had expected it to let him be, but it had continued to eat him up gradually, stifling him until he felt the only way he would obtain any relief was if he saw her face.
But Godric knew that she would not want to lay her eyes upon him – not if she had anything to say about it.
The ride to Cecil’s house felt long and endless and the mere look of the building he had dwelled in, caused a pit of self loathing to form in his gut. There were too many memories here now, many moments that had been spent fixated on thoughts of her.
Getting to know her, being bothered and haunted by the thoughts of her. Ultimately, he had gotten to taste her here as well, and that was when he knew for certain he had bitten off more than he could ever hope to chew.
Tiredly, Godric disembarked from the carriage once it had come to a stop in front of the house, and walked up to the front door with a growing heaviness in his heart.
But before he could reach for the door, it swung open and he was face to face with the last person he had expected to see.
Cecil Wightman was standing before him, clearly having returned at least a week earlier than he was supposed to, and quite visibly upset.
Godric’s sharpened instincts saved him moments later when Cecil clenched his hand into a fist and swung at him with malice. Luckily, the duke managed to step aside quickly enough to avoid getting hit.
“Did you touch my sister, Ironwell?” Cecil demanded; his eyes dark as he stepped towards Godric.
The duke stayed silent and Cecil swung at him again, but this time, Godric let the attack hit its mark, barely flinching as pain bloomed over the side of his jaw.
While Cecil flexed the hand he had used to hit him with a hiss, he stood straighter, quickly running his tongue over his teeth to check for any damage. Once he had found none, he nodded.
“Good.”
Cecil’s expression grew even more livid and he pointed a finger at Godric.
“Good? Good?! Is that all you have to say to me? I trusted you to look after my sister! All those years – all the time I’ve known you and seen you look down at others as a man of ‘honour’. And you couldn’t help yourself, after I'd entrusted my sister with you. Why did you do it?”
Cecil was practically shaking with frustration, looking as though he was moments away from grabbing Godric by the collar and using his fists to express just how angry he was. Godric almost wished that he was remorseful enough to let him.
Although, it was less about the remorse and more about whether he deserved to plead for forgiveness. He had too much to lose, had come too far to now compromise the goal he was close to accomplishing by giving it up to maintain relationships he was not supposed to have acquire.
When Godric said nothing, Cecil snapped, “Answer me, damn it!”
Finally, Godric looked him in the eye, his voice sounding unfamiliar to his own ears as he said,
“It is good to see that you have returned well from your journey. Now that you are here, I no longer have to watch over your sister. I will return tomorrow to gather my belongings.”
Without another word, Godric took a step back and began to walk away, his heart feeling tighter the further he got. However, he noted that Cecil had not accused him of only getting close to their family to have Gregory within reach for his revenge.
Which meant Nora had not told her brother the full truth of her discovery.
Judging by the frazzled and directionless nature of Cecil’s line of questioning, she likely had not told him anything at all. Whatever her reasons were, it was another bout of kindness he did not deserve.
Cecil was clearly dissatisfied with Godric’s decision – and likely also, his attitude in response to the accusations laid before him- and he continued to shout at the duke’s retreating form.
“Do not ever show up at my house ever again! If I see you near me or my family, I will end your life with my very own hands!”
Godric did not glance back even once, but kept his head up as he climbed back into the carriage.
It was better this way. If the ties between them had been cut, both his friend and Nora would be safer. But as the carriage began to roll away, the hollow feeling in his chest grew even heavier.
And for a moment, he wondered what would be of him when it was all over.
There was so much noise around Nora.
Within her mind, thoughts constantly raced through, too many questions and uncertainties.
Surely, the pain of the duke’s betrayal should have dissuaded her from holding onto any lingering feelings for him.
She ought to have moved on, should have wilfully erased all memories of him and returned her attention to her main objective – to find a worthy husband.
Except... doing so felt pointless now. Because her heart had chosen who it wanted. Her heart had latched onto a man who had worn down her defences some how and had gotten Nora to somehow fall for him.
And it was kicking up a fuss at the idea of letting him go.
No matter how many nights fought herself to sleep, in the moments of rest she had gotten, he would visit her dreams and remind her of why she had succumbed to his wiles.
Godric’s touch felt as electrifying as it had in reality, filling her with a wave of yearning that would echo for hours after she had woken up. It never ended, a cycle of sadness and tiredness that echoed deep within her very soul.
No matter how much she desired to move past it, Nora was finding it difficult to do so. She could hardly eat, barely sleep and absolutely refused to leave the estate.
Cecil was doing that he could to draw out answers, but no matter how many demands he remained, Nora’s empty gaze was the only response he got.
A few days after his return, he led Penelope and Jane into Nora’s quarters with a frustrated exhale of,
“Speak some sense into her, before I feel inclined to burn down that duke’s estate.”
“Oh, Nora,” Jane sighed, climbing into Nora’s bed and wrapping her arms around her dear friend. “We have been trying to see you for days now. Why have you not let us?”
“Her mind has been occupied with other affairs it seems,” Cecil mumbled, irate. “I do not know what happened while I was gone, but I do not like that she has begun to think it is wise to keep secrets from me.”
“How typical. Even while watching your sister struggle with whatever challenge, she is feeling, all you can think of is yourself. It must be so difficult for you – being left in the dark,” Penelope snorted, moving to sit at the edge of Nora’s bed, taking hold of her hand gently.
“That is not what I –”
“Darling,” Penelope cooed to Nora softly.
“I understand that you might be having a hard time with the burdens you bear, but you must know that you are not alone. We are here to support you – Jane and I, including the dunce you call your brother. Whatever it is you might need, simply speak and you will have it.”
Jane nodded, stroking Nora’s hair. “Take your time. Your recovery and health matters to us more than anything.”
“That is not right at all. We must get to the bottom of whatever – or whoever was responsible for putting her in this state! They cannot go unpunished. It simply will not do,” Cecil shook his head, moving to keel beside Nora’s bed.
“Sister, you know I only wish to protect you. Whatever it is, you can tell me. Let me ensure that there will never be a repeat of such nonsense again. Tell me, Nora. What happened?”
Nora shook her head weakly, her voice small as she said, “Nothing happened.”
“I do not know why you insist on lying to me? I have asked – begged, even – but you refuse to tell me the truth. Why? Why are you protecting that bastard?”
Nora stayed silent and Cecil sighed, the muscles in his jaw clenching slightly.
“I cannot help you unless you tell me the truth. I cannot fix this unless you let me.”
“Why do you think it needs to be fixed? Perhaps she just needs some time to deal with whatever plagues her mind. Perhaps your consistent hounding and badgering is not as helpful as you perceive it to be.” Penelope stated, looking as though she was losing her patience.
“What do you propose we do, then? She has been like this for days since my arrival. And no matter how hard I try; she has ignored my questioning and I do not know what else to do.” Cecil snapped back.
“Have you tried asking her what she needs? You are so caught up in ‘fixing’ and delivering retribution to the culprit, not concerned with what your sister actually requires from you at this time. You will only make things more difficult for her like this. She needs your support and your patience! Not your thirst for revenge.” Penelope huffed; brows knitted together in annoyance.
Nora did not like seeing her loved ones so upset because of her. She knew that Cecil had his suspicions on why she was acting this way but she felt too ashamed to admit it, even though they could talk to each other about anything previously.
But still... she felt burdened by what she had done.
For what she had allowed to happen. She had been foolish, had let her heart be swayed so easily and offered up her family to a stranger who valued his need for vengeance more than anything else.
And if Cecil knew the truth... she was afraid he would never forgive her.
Or Godric – a silly afterthought that proved how foolish the duke had made her.
So, all she could do was remain mum and hope her brother would give up on his crusade for justice she did not need or deserve, allowing her the space and time she needed to overcome this challenge.
“Have you been compromised?”
Nora’s heart sank as her brother’s words sank into her mind, and she raised her gaze to meet his. All at once, his feelings and concerns seemed to flash across his face.
He was worried, scared that she would not be able to marry again – especially not after her reputation had become slightly dubious following the dissolution of her first engagement.
Cecil was likely concerned that without a husband, he would be forced to take on sole custody of her and she would become a burden to him. And he would have to live with the dismay of believing his absence was the cause.
Nora wanted to refute the claim, to convince him that wasn’t the case – even though it would mean lying through her teeth to someone who was incredibly precious to her. But she couldn’t.
Could not speak, could not move as her heart beat only grew increasingly louder.
“All right – you’ve done enough. Get out.”
Cecil’s gaze slid over to Penelope as she stood and put herself between him and Nora’s bed, forcing him to rise to his feet.
“I beg your pardon. What gives you the right –”
“You have been of no help whatsoever to her. And as such, I believe it is in her best interest that you leave immediately, before you add to her grief.” Penelope said with a glare, folding her arms defiantly.
Cecil made a noise that sounded like a distress grunt and pointed at Nora.
“I have not been able to do anything because she has refused to tell me anything of consequence! I have my suspicions on the man responsible but I need her to tell me clearly, so I can –”
“So, you can what? Threaten him? Challenge him to a duel – and possibly leading to the loss of a life that would only upset her even more? God, it is as though you men only think with your egos and not much else. You have nothing to offer her in terms of assistance. Nothing that she actually needs. So, the least you can do is let her have some semblance of peace, Cecil.” Penelope told him, her cheeks flushed with frustration.
Cecil stayed silent for a moment as his eyes searched Penelope’s for a sign of some sort, then he lowered his gaze to Nora’s, frowning when she shrank back into Jane’s hold.
With a sigh, he turned around and left the room silently.
“Pompous twat,” Penelope mumbled under her breath as she walked towards the door to lock it before returning to Nora’s bedside. “I told you that if you put a spider into his bed enough times, he would eventually learn to behave.”
“Where would she even find a spider? Do not teach her to bully her older brother, Penelope.” Jane tutted, dabbing away Nora’s tears gently with her handkerchief.
“I wouldn’t have to if he would just –”
“I am in love with the duke.”
At Nora’s outburst, Penelope and Jane fell silent. When she said nothing else after a few minutes, Jane spoke gently,
“What happened? Did he reject you?”
Nora sniffed. “He might as well have. I did not even – I never got a chance to tell him. But he has made it clear he could never look at me in that way. He does not think such things are important, unlike other priorities. I had hoped that we could be more... after the moments we shared. But it would seem that I was the only one who felt as though there was something special between us. And now I do not know what to do...”
Her words broke off into a sob and she pressed a hand to her mouth, trying to stay quiet as her heart broke all over again, the pain of losing something she had never believed she would ever find flashing through her all over again.
Arms wrapped around her, the embrace of her friends warm and secure.
“We’re here, Nora,” Penelope whispered fiercely, her tone losing the snark it had carried when Cecil was in the room. “Whatever it is you need, however long it will take for you to get back on your feet – we will be here for you.”
Jane nodded, tightening her hold on both of them.
“Always. We promise,” she said softly.
Nora nodded, her eyes slipping closed as she let herself relish in the feeling of safety and understanding that existed in that moment.
She did not know what the future would hold for her, did not know how she would move forward with her life. But she believed that with her friends, perhaps she might find a way.
At least, she could hope so.