Chapter 1
Chapter One
It had been three days since I woke up frantic from the dream.
Three days since I’d bolted upright in bed, heart hammering, Seris and Kael still tangled in my head, the echo of Kael’s roar lodged somewhere behind my ribs.
Three days since I’d crossed my apartment barefoot in the dark, flipped on the lamp at my drawing table, and let my hands take over before my thoughts had time to catch up.
Three days—and for the first time in longer than I could remember, the feeling hadn’t swallowed me whole.
I sat at my drawing table now, shoulders slightly hunched, the quiet weight of focus settling comfortably into my bones. The Bristol board beneath my hands was smooth and unforgiving, its surface already marked with deliberate black lines. This wasn’t sketching. This wasn’t exploration.
This was inking.
Ink was commitment. Ink didn’t care if you hesitated or second-guessed yourself. It demanded confidence or punished you with permanence. Every stroke mattered. Every breath mattered.
I dipped the nib carefully, steadied my breathing, and drew the final line along Seris’s jaw.
She looked braver in ink.
Not fearless. Not unscarred. But resolved. The shadows around her eyes were deeper now, heavier with knowledge instead of terror. I pulled the pen away and sat back slowly, careful not to smudge anything, and studied the page.
The chapter was done.
The sense of fulfillment that bloomed in my gut took me by surprise. Yeah, by the end of each project I felt satisfaction. But this? This was over the top.
I’d been worried the work had come easily. Too easily. The lines had flowed where they needed to go. The pacing felt right. The story hadn’t fought me. It was almost as if I fell into Seris’ body.
I glanced at the clock on the wall and realized I’d been sitting there for hours without noticing the time, without the usual ache behind my eyes or the pressure building in my chest.
It might be the best chapter I’d ever inked.
I shivered at the thought. For the last eight months, thinking about and then finally doing the creating had been survival.
Just seeing Seris in my mind while I shared the house with Zarek after I’d come home from the hospital, had saved me.
Then moving here… starting to create. The fog was lifting.
The pain was receding like the ocean at low tide.
A knock sounded at the door.
Not tentative. Familiar. I couldn’t help my grin. Three of my favorite people in the whole world had arrived.
I crossed the apartment and opened the door just as Bella lifted her hand to knock again.
“Aunt Chloe,” she said seriously, peering past me into the apartment. “Are you working?”
I smiled. “Yep.”
“Can I see?”
I nodded.
She stepped inside without waiting for permission, slipping out of her shoes neatly by the door. Trenda followed more slowly, balancing baby Drake against her shoulder, diaper bag hanging from the crook of her arm.
“Hi,” Trenda said, her eyes already scanning my face, cataloging details she pretended not to notice. “You look… good.”
“That pause wasn’t subtle at all,” I teased.
She huffed a quiet laugh. “I’m a mother. Subtle is a luxury item.”
I turned to see Bella at my drawing table. She didn’t touch anything. She just leaned forward, studying the page I’d left out.
“You’re inking,” she noted.
I nodded.
“Is this the Forest of Nightmares?” she asked, tracing the air just above the page without touching it.
“It is.”
“The trees look sharper,” she said. “Like they could cut someone.”
“That’s intentional.”
She nodded, absorbing that. “And Seris looks different.”
I shouldn’t have been surprised that Bella would notice; she’d always been wiser than her years. All the family figured at nine she should really be in college. “How does she look different?” I asked her.
“She’s not scared here,” Bella said after a moment. “She’s sad. But she’s still going.”
Something tightened behind my ribs. God, that kid could hit you right in the heart.
“That’s a good observation.”
“The mouth of babes,” Trenda muttered.
Bella returned to studying the artwork. “What happens to Kael here?”
I swallowed. “He makes a choice.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes.”
“Does it save anyone?”
“Yes.”
She considered that. “That seems fair.”
“Would you like to do some inking?” I asked my niece.
Her eyes widened. “For real?”
“Absolutely.” I walked over to the table and pulled out a blank piece of Bristol board, then set her up. Bella glanced at the pens lined up beside the board. “Are those the special ones?”
“Yep.”
“Can I try one?”
I hesitated, then handed her a fine-tip Micron. “Careful. Ink doesn’t forgive.”
She took it reverently, holding it like a fragile artifact. “I’ll be careful.”
She capped the pen again without using it and set it back exactly where it had been. “I just wanted to feel how heavy it was. I want to use pencil first like you do. I want to get it right before I start inking.”
I loved this girl. I really did.
I pulled out my pencils and handed them to her. “Go get ‘em.” I didn’t ask her what she was going to draw, I wanted to be surprised.
I walked back to where Trenda was and watched as she lowered Drake into his carrier on the floor. He made a small, unhappy sound, fists waving.
“He just ate,” she said. “But he usually fusses before he settles down.”
“That’s okay,” I said automatically.
Her gaze flicked to my arms, then away. She didn’t comment. She didn’t need to.
Trenda leaned against the counter. “So,” she said casually, though nothing about her tone was casual. “How are you really?”
“I’m fine.”
Her eyebrow lifted.
“I am,” I insisted. “I’ve been in therapy for three months now, and the meds don’t make me feel like I’m watching myself from across the room anymore.”
“That’s good,” she said quietly. “That’s really good.”
There was a lull. I looked over my shoulder at Bella. She was sketching away and Drake started fussing again, but nothing dramatic.
Trenda glanced toward the windows. “This place suits you,” she said. “I get why you like it here.”
“It’s peaceful.”
“But lonely,” she added gently.
I didn’t argue.
She turned back to me. “When are you going to see Zarek?”
“Soon.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only one I’ve got.”
“You can’t live like this forever.”
“I’m not hiding,” I said evenly. “I’m healing.”
I turned when Bella piped up. “Uncle Zarek is sad.”
The words were simple. Unfiltered.
I turned to look at her. “What makes you think that?”
“He doesn’t laugh the same,” she said. “And he doesn’t stay long when he visits.”
Trenda inhaled sharply. “Bella—”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I asked.”
Bella met my eyes from across the room, earnest and unflinching. “He looks tired. Like he’s somewhere else even when he’s there.”
The room felt heavier after that.
This time Drake started crying like he meant business, his arms flailing. I chuckled. “He’s behaving like his namesake. He wants attention.”
“I should have considered that before naming him after our big brother,” Trenda sighed.
I reached for him without thinking, lifting him carefully from his carrier. The warmth of his weight settled against my chest—solid, real, alive.
Trenda froze.
“I’m okay,” I whispered.
Drake sighed and relaxed against me, his head fitting perfectly beneath my chin. I walked over to the couch and sat down slowly, afraid to move.
The love was immediate and fierce.
So was the ache beneath it.
I noticed the weight of him, the heat of his small body, the faint smell of baby powder clinging to his clothes. His breath puffed softly against my collarbone.
I thought of two babies I would never get to hold like this.
Never feel this weight.
Never breathe this scent.
Never memorize the curve of a cheek or the warmth of their sleeping bodies against mine.
The thought pressed hard behind my eyes, sharp and specific, but I stayed where I was. I didn’t look away. I didn’t retreat.
I let it melt into my bones, not with sadness, with acceptance. Drake opened his eyes at that exact moment and smiled at me. “I love you, Little Man,” I whispered.
I had no idea how long I sat there with Drake in my arms, but it must have been awhile, because when I looked up, Trenda had a cantaloupe cut up and dished out for the three of us. My sister couldn’t help but try to mother everybody.
She set the dishes down at the table. “Come and eat.”
“I’m not done,” Bella and I said simultaneously, then we both giggled.
Drake shifted in my arms and yawned. I put him down in his carrier and went to the dining room table. Not only was there cantaloupe, but there was yogurt and honey. We all dug in, quiet for just a moment.
“So how’s school?” I asked Bella.
She snickered. “We’re on summer break.”
Damn, I should have known that. “Okay, how’s summer break?”
“It’s awesome. Mom is teaching me Photoshop on her Mac. I’m getting good, right Mom?”
“Soon you’ll be able to do my job for me. Then I’ll be a lady of leisure,” Trenda agreed. “What are you drawing?”
“I’ll show you after our snack.”
I looked over at Trenda and saw that she was no longer giving me assessing looks. I felt the knots in my stomach loosen. She was my big sister. My surrogate mom. Having her believe in me was a big deal.
“Did you get to see Angelica and Kit when they were in town? You weren’t at the party, but maybe some other time?” Bella asked.
I knew who Angelica was, but I didn’t know anyone named Kit. “Is Kit another one of the Drakos clan?” I asked.
Bella giggled. “No. She’s Natasha Blade! Well really, she’s Kit Lord, but she played Natasha Blade in the movies.”
“Oh. My. God! I love Natasha Blade! Quantum Strike is one of my favorite Manga series. She was here?”
Bella nodded enthusiastically. “When I was over with Amber and Lachlan we all played the Quantum Strike video game. She was killer. She beat all of us.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm. Trenda was just shaking her head. She picked up the empty dishes before I had a chance and had them in the dishwasher like the old pro she was.
“Come on, Sweetpea, time to head home.”
“But I want to draw some more,” Bella complained.
“You can take the board and pencils home with you,” I offered.
“Nope,” Trenda countermanded. “They’ll stay here. It’ll give us reasons to visit more often.”
My sister was sneaky.
“Wanna see what I drew?” Bella asked.
“Absolutely.” I walked over to the board and looked at her drawings. Bella had more of an engineering style. Everything was precise and architectural. She struggled with the people, but that could be taught. The composition was amazing. You knew exactly what she was trying to convey.
“This is very good, Honey.” I squeezed her close.
“It is?” She looked up at me with those dark-brown Avery eyes.
“It really is. I can’t wait to see what you do next.”
Trenda cleared her throat. She had the diaper bag over her shoulder, and Drake’s carrier in her hand.
“Give me the bag, Mama.”
“You just worry about your shoes and backpack. I’ve got the rest of this covered,” Trenda assured her. She handed Bella her car keys. “Why don’t you go unlock the car door.” Bella was off like a light.
At the door, she hugged me tightly. “Come home soon. Gatlinburg is too far from Jasper Creek.”
“Soon. I think soon.”
“Zarek needs you.”
I sniffed. “No he doesn’t.”
“Bella was right. He does.” Trenda gave me one more squeeze, then she was gone and I was left with an apartment that was too quiet. I sat down, huddled into the same corner of my couch where I had held Drake. Thinking. Feeling. And smiling, just a bit.
My phone rang.
Zarek.
I stared at his name, heart doing something slow and complicated inside my chest.
Then I answered.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” he replied.
I closed my eyes.