Chapter 12
RAINA
Valentine’s Day.
It was not that long ago that I used to dream about spending the day with my future husband: red roses, chocolates, dinner somewhere fancy, or maybe cuddling under a plush blanket at home while watching Casablanca. No grand gestures, only thoughtful, caring, loving sentiments.
Tonight, however, feels different.
I long for a real Valentine’s Day with Alex, Max, and Vincent, but I know I can’t have it. It’s our last night together, as per our agreement, and I dread the coming morning.
“The day has just begun,” I tell my reflection in the mirror.
Fastening the top buttons of my chef’s tunic, I pull my hair into a tight bun and apply a smidge of concealer before I head downstairs. The whole day is a romantic culinary journey for our guests and their hosts, and I need to make sure every single plate is perfect before it leaves my kitchen.
I find Deanna waiting for me at the bottom of the staircase with a red box in her hands. It’s tied up with a white bow, and I notice the tag hanging from one corner. It has my name on it,
“Deanna, can I help you?” I say in a flat tone by way of a greeting.
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” she almost sings, suspiciously jovial, given our previous dynamic, then hands me the box. “The other hosts and I got together to give you this.”
“What is it?” I stare at the box for a long moment, unsure how I should feel.
“It’s a Valentine’s Day gift, obviously!” she quips.
“Thank you, but is this something you do for all the chefs or Haus staff?”
“No, you’re special.”
My stomach churns as I look at her. Deanna’s smile doesn’t crack, even though it feels forced. She’s working hard to keep this up for some reason. And I’m curious as to what it is. I’m also a little worried. “Why am I special, Deanna?”
“You’re the best chef we’ve had in this place, and the guys and the gals wanted to show some consideration in return. I’ve got a feeling you’re going to knock our socks off with today’s dishes, for sure.”
“Well, thank you very much for this,” I tell Deanna. “It’s greatly appreciated. Can I open it?”
“By all means,” she answers with a giggle.
I remove the bow and pop open the lid to find a collection of workout Blu-ray discs, some fancy, top-of-the-line cardio program by a famous fitness influencer, and a month’s supply of meal replacement powders to make weight loss power shakes.
“Deanna…”
“We figured you needed a direction to transform your body, a program, something you can actually stick to. And this guy has had a huge success rate with his online clients. The program is really good. I’ve only heard great things about it.
Plus, I’m told the shakes are actually really good,” Deanna replies.
“I never said I wanted to lose any weight. I’m happy precisely the way I am,” I say, my voice trembling slightly. “Did all the hosts and hostesses pitch in for this?”
“Honey, just because you’re fine with the way you are doesn’t mean you’re actually fine,” she says, inching closer.
“You’re in over your head with the guys, and if you want to keep them for the long haul, you’re going to have to drop a few pounds.
Vincent likes his women skinny. The fact that he likes the way you look right now is a phase for him, he’s going through, nothing more. ”
I glare at her, appalled. “You’re serious.”
“Take it from me, Raina,” Deanna replies, touching her hips with a languorous smile. “He likes his women like this a lot more. He used to tell me he liked me smaller because he could overpower me. He likes the idea of a fragile woman in his arms.”
“He used to tell you…”
My stomach drops to the floor, and my throat closes up as I struggle to keep a straight face and some semblance of self-control, because I know she’s waiting for a reaction, for an explosion—something to tell her she hit a nerve, exactly as she intended.
“He didn’t mention that he and I used to be together?” Deanna sounds confused. “I thought he’d disclose that little nugget since we’re all working in such close quarters. It would’ve been the decent thing to do.”
“Vincent must have his reasons,” I reply and give her back the gift box. “Thank you, but I can’t accept it. I don’t need any of this stuff; it would be wasted on me.”
She’s enjoying this a little too much; she can’t even control her grinning grimace anymore. “Trust me, Raina. I can tell you care about them, so I’m just trying to help you.”
“I don’t need your help.”
“Vincent will be the first to get bored.”
“Bored of what?” Vincent steps into the conversation, having just emerged from the office to the left. I didn’t even hear him come out, and neither did Deanna, because her demeanor shifts considerably.
“Hey, Vin, darling. Just having a girls’ chat here.”
Vincent isn’t convinced nor interested in her excuse. He looks at me; his brow furrowed with concern. “Is everything okay, Raina?”
I could say everything is fine, but I am genuinely tired of pretending, of being patient with people who are determined to hurt me. So for once, I allow myself to be a bit of a damsel and nod at the box in Deanna’s hands, my so-called gift.
“They got me a Valentine’s Day present,” I tell him.
Vincent’s expression shifts into something dark and unreadable, downright frightening. “What is it?”
“Just something we thought she could use,” Deanna replies.
“We?” Vincent is quick to catch on. “You’d better be honest about this, Deanna, because if I open that box and I don’t like what’s in it, the whole crew will have to answer for it.”
Deanna tries to laugh it off and pulls back. “It was just an innocent joke.”
“It’s a weight-loss package, complete with cardio workouts and meal replacement shakes,” I add, because I don’t want to let her get away with this sort of aberrant behavior.
Vincent takes a deep breath.
“It was just a joke,” Deanna says, increasingly worried about the repercussions. “It was not to everyone’s taste, obviously.”
“Not to anyone’s taste,” Vincent replies. “Consider this your one and only notice, Deanna. If you continue to create a hostile work environment for other staff members, this will be your last winter at Haus of Sin.”
She gasps, utterly offended. “I’m your most sought-after host!”
“But you are not irreplaceable,” he shoots back. “Don’t fucking test me, Deanna. Now take that garbage and get out of my sight.”
She grabs the box from my hands and walks away. I listen to the sound of her heels clicking as she heads to somewhere on the ground floor of the west wing, then I turn to face Vincent.
“You never told me the two of you were an item,” I say.
“It was insignificant,” Vincent says. “Raina, I assure you, it meant nothing.”
“It didn’t sound like nothing to Deanna.”
“She pulled the plug,” he replies.
“So it meant something.”
“At the time, yes, fine, it meant something,” Vincent admits, “but not anymore, not in a long time. I got over it pretty quickly, actually. Deanna just likes to test limits, to maintain some sort of control. It never works out in her favor because I’ve already moved on.
Unfortunately, I can’t ask her to be more reasonable because she’s a woman who lost her reason years ago. ”
I shake my head slowly, unsure of how I should react.
Every inch of me wants to hurt her and get some sort of retribution.
What the guys and I have shared over the past week was supposed to be sacred, yet Deanna somehow managed to cast a shadow over it all.
I shouldn’t have allowed her to have such an influence.
“Raina, listen to me,” Vincent says and takes me in his arms. “I am not my past, just like you’re not yours. We’re human beings. We’ve made our share of mistakes, and honestly, I’m proud to say that Deanna was my biggest mistake. I don’t regret much of anything else. I certainly don’t regret you.”
“It just makes me so mad that she can—”
“Get under your skin? I’ll admit, she’s very good at that. But this has to stop, baby,” he says, then gently kisses me on the lips. “What we have is different. It’s something Deanna only ever dreamed of.”
“You never shared her with Alex or Max,” I realize, giving him a curious glance.
He laughs lightly. “They couldn’t stand her, let alone bed her.”
“Oh, wow.” I burst into a wholehearted laugh, realizing what this means.
“Deanna was a momentary slipup for me. I was in a vulnerable state. You could say that I hungered for something different, something of my own. But she certainly wasn’t the woman I thought she would be.
I kept telling myself it would work out, but obviously, it didn’t.
I learned my lesson. I promise you, Raina, it was just that: a lesson. ”
“I can’t hold that against you, not when I’ve had Jeremy lurking around,” I concede with a dissatisfied grumble and lower my gaze.
“What matters is what we have now, who we are today,” Vincent says and lifts my chin so our eyes can meet again.
And when they do, it’s as if a whole new world has opened up to me, one of sweet tenderness to overlap with the frantic and fiery possession I’ve submitted to from the moment I said yes to their deal, a layer of gentle kindness over the hunger and the ecstasy and the insatiable arousal I experience whenever I lose myself in their arms.
“It’ll work out one way or another,” he adds and plants another kiss on my lips.
This one feels softer, sweeter, all-encompassing. But the reality soon comes back to bite me in the ass as I exhale sharply and pull away from his embrace.
“Just until tonight,” I bitterly remind him. “Tomorrow, it’s over.”
I walk away, rushing to my kitchen, and leave Vincent behind. I don’t want to beg; I don’t want to ask for more. They set the terms, and in their way, they proved Deanna right. I’m a trend, a morsel for them to enjoy. Tomorrow morning, I’ll just be Raina, the chef, again. They’ll be my bosses.
Nothing more, nothing less.