Chapter 26 #2
“Hold on,” I reply. “The rest came a little bit later. We’ve always had chemistry, okay?
Alex, Max, Vincent, and me… we just clicked.
” I pause as he rolls his eyes. “I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.
It happened because it was meant to happen.
No judgment, no remorse, no shame because it was natural; it felt natural. ”
“It’s wrong on so many levels.”
“But it’s my life, Kaleb. They’ve given me something I’ve never experienced before: real emotional safety, real respect, real support.
They built me up when I wasn’t even sure I could hack it.
And it wasn’t charity, it wasn’t pity, it was pure.
” I pause again for him to roll his eyes. “We want to be together, all of us.”
“How would a relationship with them even work? Have you thought of that at all? What will the public say?”
I chuckle softly. “Do I even care about the public?”
“You should. You’re a highly respected chef in Portland. And if you carry on with The Black Swan, more and more people will hear about you. What will they say when they hear you’re hooking up with three men at once, three men who also happen to own one of the dirtiest businesses in the country?”
“Kaleb, it’s not like that at all.”
“Oh, come on! People pay top dollar to get in there so they can get spanked, hog-tied, and fucked in every possible hole. It’s just dressed up in fancy outfits and snazzy dinners, high-priced liquor, and luxury furniture. But that’s all there is.”
“No, Haus of Sin is a lot more than that, and you’d know it, too, if you’d simply take part in one of their private events,” I reply.
“Yes, it’s got the whole kink thing going, but there are layers.
And it was a wonderful challenge for me to put together those menus, to prepare those dishes, and to end the season with a round of applause.
I couldn’t have done it without Alex, Vincent, and Max. ”
I take a deep breath. The world is still spinning, along with the café and all the chairs and tables around us. The people seem to melt away while I hold onto the edge of our table, cold sweat bursting through my pores as everything turns white.
“Raina, are you okay?” I hear Kaleb, but I can barely see him now.
“Kaleb…”
I want to say something else, something more, but I lost my train of thought. I wanted to explain my feelings, to make him understand. But my body has hijacked the conversation, and I’ve lost control of my senses altogether. I don’t know what’s happening, but I feel weak.
Lightheaded.
The blurry image before me shifts as I fall out of my chair.
“Raina!” Kaleb calls out.
I feel the cold floor as I land, and everything goes dark.
“I came as soon as Kaleb called me,” Vivian says as she rushes into the hospital room, looking as if she literally ran straight out of court. “How are you feeling, honey?”
Kaleb gets up from his chair to greet her. “I figured you’d want to be here with her. They haven’t given us a diagnosis yet. They just ran a battery of tests, and they told us to wait in here.”
“Raina?” Vivian asks me, her brow furrowed with concern.
“I’m okay, I think. I’ve been feeling off for a little while.
I just didn’t think it was this serious,” I say with a weak smile.
“I figured it was work-related stress or just sudden life changes, anxiety, I don’t know.
Losing my gig at The Kane, the whole thing with Jeremy, then…
this,” I motion toward Kaleb. “The whole mess with Haus of Sin.”
“That was a mess of your own making,” my brother defensively replies and crosses his arms. He’s one pout away from being the eight-year-old Kaleb, who had to share his Halloween treats with me.
I give him a hard look. “Just because you don’t agree with my choices doesn’t make it a mess. What made it a mess was your reaction. You blew everything out of proportion.”
Vivian steps in. “You both need to take a deep breath right about now. We’re in the hospital and Raina passed out. You need to calm down.” She looks at Kaleb. “And you. Save that sanctimonious bullshit for another conversation. Your sister needs you.”
A moment passes in awkward silence—one of many that my brother and I have had since he found out about the guys and me. He takes his seat while Vivian settles on the edge of my bed, one hand resting on my calf.
“How are you feeling right now?” she asks. “Still dizzy or weak?”
“No, just ridiculously hungry,” I say. “Did you leave court for this?”
“We’re in recess until tomorrow. I presented the judge with some new evidence, and he needs some time to go over it before we proceed,” she says, “evidence Jeremy was supposed to log in with the rest in discovery but didn’t.”
“He keeps racking up reasons to get fired, huh?”
“Honestly, I don’t even know at this point.
I can’t tell with him. In court, he’s either calm and composed and the brilliant lawyer he’s supposed to be, or he’s absent-minded and quiet and forgetful, which is when I need to step in.
Fortunately, it’s my case, so I call the shots, but this evidence failure nearly cost us the case.
Bill Bancroft is absolutely furious with him. ”
Kaleb looks confused. “Why doesn’t he just fire his sorry ass?”
“I have no idea. And it’s not my main concern right now,” Vivian gives me a soft smile. “You are.”
“You’re too kind, Viv, as always.”
“And you!” she snaps at my brother. “Get your head out of your ass. Make peace with Alex, Max, and Vincent. Why did you quit your job? It was your dream job, the launching pad for your dream career, complete with endless opportunities and amazing mentors!”
“After what they did to my sister?”
“They didn’t do anything I didn’t want done,” I cut in.
“They also kept it from me. I thought we were friends. Alex should’ve said something,” Kaleb insists.
“Like what, ask for your permission?” Vivian scoffs. “I’m not sure you noticed, but your sister is a grown-ass woman and perfectly capable of making her own decisions.”
Kaleb takes a deep breath. “I thought we weren’t talking about this anymore, for Raina’s sake.”
“I changed my mind because I can’t believe how uptight you are about all this,” Vivian shoots back. “Raina was happy with them, okay? There was no telling where it might lead, but the four of them wanted to make it work. Who the hell are you to tell her she can or can’t do something?”
“Her brother?”
“Kaleb, being her brother doesn’t mean you have any sort of ownership over your sister. It means you support her when she needs supporting, and you protect her when she needs protecting. You’re not her master.”
I’m watching the exchange like it’s the most exciting tennis match since Federer and Nadal at Wimbledon, damn near holding my breath. My brother scoffs and shakes his head slowly. I wonder if it’s a game point for Vivian.
“I was protecting her. That’s why I went there in the first place. The message said—”
“The message was a ruse!” I cut in. “You should’ve realized that the moment you walked in on us, and I kept trying to reason with you, but you wouldn’t listen.”
“I was crazed with worry, Raina. I thought something had happened to you.”
“But when you saw that she was with Alex, Max, and Vincent, that she was okay, you should’ve backed down,” Vivian calmly replies.
“I didn’t. I couldn’t. I know what the guys are like, okay? They share women and they’ve never talked of settling down. I don’t want that for my sister.”
“Gee, you have such an open mind, I can’t imagine why they would have never talked to you about what they want,” I say sarcastically. “If they are as good friends as you keep saying they are, you should give them a little more grace.”
He has the good sense to look chastised.
“And you should give me a hell of a lot more than that. I’m a grown woman. I appreciate all you’ve done for me throughout our lives, but you don’t get to make my decisions for me. You need to respect me the way I respect you.”
Vivian points a finger at him. “You need to talk to them, as well. Apologize.”
“Apologize? For what?”
“For punching Alex?” I shoot back, “for quitting without giving notice, for acting like an angry teenage boy and not the man I know you are.”
Kaleb runs his fingers through his hair and sneaks a glance at Vivian. “I may have let my temper get the better of me. But you have to understand, Raina. I thought I was coming to save you.”
“Jeremy must have sent that message just to stir shit up,” I tell him. “I wasn’t in any danger. I was never in any danger with them. Actually, I feel safe with them.”
He gives me a surprised look. “How can you feel safe, given their line of work?”
“I’ve seen how they operate. It’s strictly business for them, I’m telling you. They only ever had eyes for me, Kaleb. And they make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world.”
A knock on the door ends our conversation, and the three of us turn our heads at the same time, just as the on-call doctor comes in.
“Miss Redford,” he says, holding up a clipboard. “I’ve got your preliminary test results here. I put in for additional blood work in the meantime, just to make sure we’ve covered all our bases.”
“Doctor,” I greet him with a weak smile, “do you know what caused me to pass out yet?”
“I believe so, yes. You’re exhibiting rather common symptoms for women in your condition.”
“My condition?”
Vivian lets a sharp gasp out as soon as the doctor looks at me, brows furrowed. “You’re pregnant!”
“Indeed,” Dr. Radcliffe replies. “You appear to be in your first trimester, but the tests were conclusive. You are pregnant, Miss Redford.”
“Oh, Jesus,” I whisper.
Heatwaves ripple across my whole being as I try to adjust to this new reality and what it entails. I’m pregnant. A life is forming in my womb, a human being. My heart expands and threatens to burst while I struggle to process the implications and envision the days and weeks and months ahead.