39. Scarlett
Rhett: Hi. I wanted to let you know that something urgent has come up with one of our projects down in South America. I have to fly out there as soon as possible.
Istared at the words on the screen for a ridiculous amount of time, trying to make sense of them. My heart was beating uncomfortably fast, and I couldn’t quite catch my breath. Plus, my hands were shaking, which didn’t help.
Cassidy sat across from me at the small conference table in our equally small meeting room. Scattered across the tabletop were all the files we had for ASS v Rivers Enterprises. The first pre-trial hearing was coming up fast and I was determined to be thoroughly prepared. It was the very same room I had brought Rhett to a lifetime ago. Well, that’s how it seemed. God, how I’d despised him that day.
Not anymore, though. Right now I was all tied up in knots, staring at his message, trying not to let on to Cassidy that I wasn’t paying attention to a word she was saying.
I fucking knew he was being weird on the weekend. Christ, did he really not want to be a dad so badly that he couldn’t even stand to be around me anymore? That one little baby movement he’d felt had been enough to send him running for the hills?
The very idea of that had my throat clogging up and tears burning my eyes. Blink, blink, blink. Fuck.
Okay, deep breath. I leaned back in my chair, chewing my lip as I tried to figure out how to reply.
Me: … ….
This was useless.
Me: I’m sorry to hear that. I hope everything’s okay.
I really, really wanted to say, ‘There’s a pretty big scan coming up soon, and I was hoping you’d be there for it.’ But I didn’t. He’d made his feelings on fatherhood perfectly clear. If I’d somehow gotten confused by how much he’d done for me since then, well, that was on me.
Rhett: Everything’s fine. It’s just a pain in the ass.
Don’t ask him when he’ll be back because that would make you look like a desperate loser. I wished there was a goddamn etiquette book for this sort of situation. A chapter called,
What Should I Say to My Baby Daddy When I Suspect He’s Ghosting Me?
Sub Chapter: Who I’ve Gone and Caught Feelings For.
Rhett: I’m not sure how long I’ll be needed down there, so I’ll give you the contact details for my EA. If anything urgent comes up, she’ll know how to reach me.
Oh. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I wasn’t even going to be able to reach him directly. Jesus fuck, why did that hurt so much?
Me: Fine. Thanks.
That was it. I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I tried to stifle the sob that bubbled up in my throat, but it came out as a muffled little whimper. Damn it. The last thing I needed was for Cassidy to see me like this. Too late. She looked up from the papers she was reviewing, instantly frowning when she saw my face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
I blinked rapidly, willing the tears not to fall. “It’s nothing, really. I’m fine.” Well, that was obviously a lie, since my voice came out shaky and unconvincing, even to my own ears.
Cassidy set down the file and leaned forward, folding her arms on the table. “That’s clearly bullshit. What’s going on?”
I hesitated, chewing on my lip some more. There was a good chance that spilling my guts would make me feel better. But admitting how upset I was over Rhett’s sudden trip felt so... pathetic.
Fuck it. “It’s Rhett,” I blurted out. “He stayed over after we went to the barbecue at the Parkers, and it was really…”
The memory of waking up next to him, that look on his face when he felt that little movement, was all I could see in my mind’s eye. Maybe I’d subconsciously felt a flare of hope, thinking he was excited.
“It was really?” Cassidy prompted.
“It was nice. Then he got kinda weird and left abruptly.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, and now he’s just texted to say he has to go away for work.”
“Um, okay, is that so bad?”
“Maybe not? Am I overthinking it?”
“I have no idea. I’m the overthinking queen, so I’m no judge. You’ll need to give me more information. Does he say how long he’ll be gone for?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“How often has he had to go away on urgent trips since this all started?”
“Never.”
“Oh.”
“I mean, I know he’s not interested in being a dad. I’ve accepted that. But there’s a big scan coming up and…What if something goes wrong and he’s not here?” My voice cracked on the last word.
Oh god, I hadn’t realized how much I’d come to rely on him. Every time I’d needed someone, he’d stepped up. It wasn’t even about the sex, as amazing as that was. It was so much more than that. He’d been my perfect support person, always with the dumb jokes or the teasing. But also the hugs when I needed them and the encouragement and understanding. If anyone had told me months back that Rhett Rivers was much more than the shallow, playboy billionaire he appeared to be, I would have laughed in their face. He actually had a caring, sweet side to him, and he was so…reliable. That sounded so boring and mundane, but to me, after these past few months, it mattered more than anything.
But now, suddenly, he was stepping back. Leaving me. That was it. I definitely couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.
Cassidy reached behind her and, grabbing a box of tissues from the sideboard, dropped them in front of me.
“Thanks.”
I blew my nose loudly into the tissue, trying to get a grip on my emotions. Cassidy waited patiently, giving me a moment to get my shit together.
“Sorry,” I said finally, my voice thick. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m just feeling really emotional and overwhelmed all of a sudden.”
“Scarlett, you’re pregnant with twins and dealing with a lot right now. Cut yourself some slack. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed.”
I managed a watery smile at her understanding. “I guess I got used to having Rhett around more than I realized. He’s been... really great, you know? Supportive and caring in his own weird way.”
Saying it out loud made me feel even more pathetic. I was basically admitting I had feelings for him, of all people. The man who initially represented everything I stood against - greed, disregard for the environment, privilege.
And now? Now I was attached to him in a way I never could have predicted. The thought of him being gone, of not having his steady presence by my side, made me feel so alone.
“I’m such an idiot,” I mumbled, swiping at the fresh tears leaking from my eyes. “Getting this worked up over him leaving for a work trip.”
“You’re not an idiot, Scarlett. Your feelings are valid, even if the situation is... unconventional.”
I let out a shaky laugh. “That’s one way to put it.” I stared down at my phone, Rhett’s text messages still on the screen. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m reading too much into this. Maybe he really does just have an urgent work thing.”
“But you don’t think so?” Cassidy asked gently.
“I think...” I started, then paused, feeling a fresh wave of hurt crest over me. “I think he’s freaking out about being a dad and he’s running away from it. From me.”
The thought of him just disappearing, of having all this distance between us...it was almost too much to bear. And I wasn’t talking about the distance from here to South America.
“Oh, Scarlett.” Cassidy’s voice was laced with sympathy. “I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment from him.”
Dammit, I was so utterly drained from the emotional turmoil. “I really thought he was in this with me,” I whispered. “I’m such a fool.”
“You’re not a fool,” Cassidy said fiercely. “Rhett’s the fool if he can’t see what an amazing woman you are and how lucky he is.”
I managed a watery smile at her fierce defense of me. “Thanks, Cass. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’d be just fine, because you’re one of the strongest people I know. But you don’t have to go through this alone, okay? I’m here for you, every step of the way.”
Feeling a bit better, I nodded, swiping away the last of my tears. “I know. Thank you.”
Okay, so maybe it was time to put my big girl pants on and just get through this. Figure out a way to do it all by myself.
As much as Rhett’s apparent withdrawal stung, I knew I had to start focusing on me and my babies. If he wasn’t going to be there for us, well, that was his loss. I would get through this pregnancy and my babies and I would be just fine, with or without Rhett Rivers.