Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
L evi knew that he was playing with fire by sending Miss Winston a note, but she had left him no other choice.
He wanted Miss Kendall to forgive him, and he did not want to make an offer only to not keep it. And so, without much thought, he set upon finding a way to bring an end to Miss Winston’s plans once and for all.
It had worked well, in the end. She had gone to see him expectantly, and for a brief moment he pitied her, knowing that he was going to break her heart with his words. But it had to be done.
“I am so pleased that you asked to see me, Your Grace,” she beamed. “It has been such a long afternoon.”
“Did you enjoy yourself?” he asked, hoping that it might serve him well to ease into the more difficult part.
“Well, I was with quite an unfortunate young lady. She spoke only of the baked goods she likes to make. I could hardly believe it when she said it. Could you imagine? We ladies do not bake, such things are for servants!”
“Yes, I suppose your interests are far more ladylike, aren’t they?”
“I enjoy the pianoforte, and I am told my watercolors are of superb quality. You are welcome to see them whenever you wish.”
“Miss Winston, you and I must speak.”
He had said it more bluntly than expected, but it was as though she had missed that entirely.
“We do, Your Grace. That is why I have been so excited to see you. I understand now may not be the opportune moment to begin a courtship, but I would love to begin one upon our return.”
She stepped closer to him, dangerously close, and looked up at him with wide eyes. He found himself missing Miss Kendall’s gaze—the flare of her eyes when she suspected him, the brightness when she followed an intriguing idea, the startled wideness after he caught her at the tree. Every one of her expressions had come naturally to her, but here with Miss Winston, the innocence was forced. He took a step back, but his back hit the wall and she stepped forward once more. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back.
Her brow furrowed at him, and at once all hopes of being gentle with her abandoned him.
“I have asked you here to request that you stop this.”
“What do you mean?”
“This. You are acting as though I am your husband, and even though you have been caught doing it and warned about it you are continuing to do so.”
“Do not act like you haven’t been enjoying it. I thought we had an understanding between us!”
“And what exactly did you think that understanding was? Miss Winston, you have been throwing yourself at me since we arrived, and I admit some fault in that as I was kind to you at that first dinner, but it was not an invitation for you to follow me at all times.”
She staggered backwards, face pale in shock, and then glared at him.
“So the rumors were true,” she whispered. “You are a rake, through and through. You have made me believe that you were someone special, but I see now that was a lie. And now I am ruined, with nowhere to turn.”
“You are not ruined,” he replied, seeing through her act. “The only person aware of what you have done is Miss Kendall, and she has no intention of causing you any scandal. She has been trying to help you, though you have snubbed her at every opportunity.”
At last, the remnants of her performance fell away, leaving an extremely sour expression behind.
“You will regret this,” she warned, turning on her heel. “You could have had a wife that was loved by the ton. I hope you enjoy your spinster wife, and all of the scandal that comes with it.”
He wanted to explain that he didn’t want to marry Miss Kendall, but for some reason he couldn’t say the words. It was better, wasn’t it, if Miss Winston believed he was already spoken for?
As she opened the door, and Miss Kendall herself fell into the room, it took everything in him not to laugh. She was unharmed, of course, but the look on her face was something to prize in future recollection. When Miss Winston walked over her, he went to help her to her feet, but she had already done so herself, her friend quickly fixing her hair before they left. She gave him a look of disgust, and it was so intense that he remained where he was, not chasing after her.
It was, after all, his third time being caught by her in such a position, and it was less than unlikely that she would forgive it once again, even if it was to rid himself of Miss Winston once and for all.
When he rejoined the other guests, both Miss Winston and Miss Kendall were absent. He wondered if there might have been something in that, but Miss Kendall’s friends did not seem too upset about anything and so he decided it couldn’t have been that. He approached them, Miss Jennings narrowing her eyes at him.
“Good evening, ladies,” he greeted. “Did you enjoy your afternoon?”
“We did, indeed,” Miss Godwin replied, clearly unaware that anything was wrong at all. “Though I must say, the prize was beautiful. I wish I could have won it myself.”
“Prize?” Miss Jennings echoed. “I was unaware that there was a prize.”
The ladies looked at one another as though they had had a secret be revealed.
“Emma won,” Cecilia explained quickly. “It is a beautiful necklace, and we have agreed to all have ones made to match it. When we saw you return with Gretchen, Emma hid it. We thought it might be best that you didn’t have insult added to the injury of spending all that time with her.”
“I see,” Miss Jennings nodded. “It was a strange afternoon. Miss Winston was quite pleasant to be around, if I am completely honest. I told her all about my baking, and she seemed very interested. Then after the… incident, she looked disgusted with us.”
“That is my fault,” Levi explained. “I had told her not to speak to me again. She has tried over and over to have us caught alone together, and I cannot believe that it has taken me this long to realize her plans.”
“We all have lapses in our judgment,” Miss Godwin said gently. “Let us all be grateful that it has ended here, yes? You are very fortunate in that respect.”
“Indeed, although Miss Kendall seemed furious with me. Might you know where she is?”
“She is with her sister, Your Grace. I do not believe she wants to be disturbed at this time, as it seemed quite serious.”
“Very well, I shall give her some time, but I do think it would be best that I explained myself, even if for my own sake. I do not want her holiday to be spoiled by my actions.”
The three ladies seemed content with that, and so he made his plans. He would see her the following morning and explain what had happened, and if she chose to believe him then he would be grateful. From there, he would never tempt scandal again. His brush with it had been more than enough, and he did not wish to do it a second time.
In the meantime, he wanted to see Leonard in his study. He had to tell somebody what he had done, someone that was not a group of young ladies that could not hear half of what he had to say. He noticed that his friend was absent, a sign that he had retired for the night. He made his way to the study, but as he walked down the hallway he saw none other than Miss Kendall.
Her eyes were red, and though she was carrying herself in the same elegant way that she always did, Levi could tell that she was not happy about something. He hoped that it wasn’t because of him, but then he realized that if it wasn’t because of him, it had to be about her sister, which could have been even worse.
“Miss Kendall, are you alright?”
“Your Grace, please, not right now.”
“But something is wrong, I can see that. If this is because of Miss Winston...”
She let out a sort of loud grumble at him, her head in her hands as she did so before looking into his eyes.
“I do not care about all of that. If you wish to run into the night with your bride-to-be, then I wish you well. If you wish only to ruin her, then do that and prove me right. Do whatever you must, but do not concern me with it.”
“What has happened? This is nothing like you at all.”
“Some of us have real problems, Your Grace, problems that do not involve having to choose which lady you ruin next.”
She pushed past him and stormed away, and he wished that he could have seen her the following morning instead of then and there. In any case, she wanted nothing to do with him and he had to respect that. He had done what he had said he would, and now he had to take the consequences that came his way.
“You really are a sorry sight,” Leonard chuckled when he entered. “Victors do not typically look like that, you know.”
“Victors do not typically ruin their own afternoon by trying to make things right, but here I am.”
He paused, looking at Levi with a most puzzled expression.
“What exactly have you done?”
With a sigh, Levi explained everything that had happened, even daring to mention his moment with Miss Kendall at the tree. Leonard raised his eyebrow at that, but he did not say anything about it until he had finished.
“You are becoming more like me every day,” he said at last. “And that isn’t a good thing, not when you have striven for virtue all these years. What has this lady done to you?”
“Miss Winston has been doing some ridiculous things, Leonard. I wish you had seen some of it.”
“I do not mean Miss Winston. I mean Miss Kendall.”
Levi looked at him for a moment. He was right, and he knew that, but he couldn’t admit to himself that Miss Kendall had the effect on him that Leonard had seen.
“It is dinner soon,” Leonard continued. “Would you like to change where you sit, or do you wish to accept what is coming to you?”
“I can stay where I am. If Miss Kendall has not come to you herself, I shall assume she is content.”
“That is the right response, Lupton. This is one of the reasons why I respect you so much. Come, it will be over with before you know it.”
Leonard was but a year older than Levi, but he took on an almost brotherly role when necessary, and though Levi found it annoying at times, he let his friend have his way.
They left for the dining hall, and to Levi’s surprise both Miss Winston and Miss Kendall were in their places, though neither looked too happy about it. Levi took his place and greeted those around him, but there was no denying the ice in their responses.
They ate their first course in silence, but then a gentleman beside Miss Winston turned to the man next to him, his speech slurred.
“All I am saying is,” he laughed, “if a lady puts herself in such a situation, then she must accept what comes her way.”
“Wilson, you must have some sympathy,” his friend replied, though it was clearly in jest. “These ladies do not know what is coming to them.”
“Of course they do! It is something they are told over and over, and so if they disregard such warnings then what happens is their own fault.”
“Do you not blame the gentleman?”
“Of course not, for I have laid eyes upon a lady before. It isn’t as though we can help ourselves.”
“Enough, gentlemen,” Levi ordered, and both men looked at him and then down at their plates once more.
“I believe they have a point, actually,” Miss Winston said, looking Miss Kendall in the eye. “If a lady is so brazen, then it is only fair that it is known to others. Wouldn’t you agree, Miss Kendall?”
Levi knew what she was doing. She had put Miss Kendall in an impossible situation where she could neither agree nor disagree. If she said it was just, then she would be admitting that Miss Winston had to be outed, and Levi had made it plain that he would do his duty if necessary. If she disagreed, however, she would be looked at as though she were defending herself, whether she had outright confessed anything or not.
“I suppose,” Miss Kendall said in a measured tone, “if we are to hold ladies to a certain standard, it would be best to hold gentlemen to the very same ones. We must all be the very best that we can be if we are to be a credit to England. Is that not right, gentlemen?”
Both men that had started the subject were quiet. Miss Kendall, also silent, continued with her meal, though she looked somewhat pleased with herself. Levi turned to acknowledge her, but she was already looking away as though nothing had happened at all. After dinner, when everyone else left for drinks, she disappeared again. Levi worried for her, but he was well aware that she was a capable lady that knew how to take care of matters. If she needed him, he hoped, she would be able to come to him.
And yet, her absence was clear. He found himself looking for her even though he knew she wasn’t there. The party was less fun in her absence, and when he saw her friends without her he had a feeling that they felt much the same. They seemed askance, as though a part of them was missing, and he wondered if they knew what had happened to her.
But he did not wish to take any more of their time, and so he did what he had learned to do long before. He wore his brightest smile, and he socialized. He had one or two whiskeys more than he usually did, but he pretended not to notice. He wanted to dull the ache that her absence caused, that the unknown of it all worsened. He would enjoy his night if it killed him.