Chapter 13
CHAPTER 13
E mma wondered if Sarah would hide away until the time came to return home, but the following morning she was at breakfast again.
She wanted to shield her from the knowledge that there was gossip surrounding her apparent engagement, but she already knew that such attempts would be futile. It would reach her eventually, and it was better for her to hear of it sooner rather than later.
“Would you mind chaperoning a walk?” she asked Emma quietly as they dressed for the day. “Father has requested that I walk with the Viscount, and we both know that his request is truly a command.”
“Certainly. If you wish, I can remain beside you and we can talk so that the Viscount does not manage to say a single thing.”
Sarah laughed sadly at that.
“I believe I am in enough trouble as it is. Besides, if I am to be his wife, I would at least like to know about him. Perhaps he has a large family, too?”
Emma bit her lip. At his age, it was unlikely.
“Did you like that Lord Rosendale was one of seven?”
“Emma, please do not remind me of him,” she sighed, fixing a stray hair. “But for what it is worth, yes. I thought, rather foolishly, that I could marry him and be a part of a loving family, and so could you. I couldn’t help but imagine the two of us knowing love, real love, from someone other than ourselves. It was foolish to do so, but I must admit that I do not regret it.”
“And you shouldn’t. If it made you happy, then it was the correct thing to do.”
Emma stood behind her sister as they looked in the mirror. It was as though her younger sister had aged a year in the time they had been away. She seemed weary, exhausted, and Emma pitied her greatly. It was too much for a young lady to bear, and the fact that she was taking it all so well astounded her.
Then again, it wasn’t as though they had much of a choice.
When they arrived downstairs, Lord Frenton was already waiting. He greeted them politely, albeit in quite a forced manner, and they left without another word.
The walk was silent, stilted, and not at all like the one Sarah had shared with Lord Rosendale. Emma tried not to think about him, as her sister had requested, but she had to. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t right. It infuriated her, and the fact that she had to simply stand by and watch it happen made it even worse.She followed behind them, waiting for one of them to say something— anything.
At last, the Viscount cleared his throat.
“I shall want children, of course.”
Emma stifled a scoff.
“Of course, my lord,” Sarah nodded. “How many?”
“As many as time allows. I require an heir. My last wife did not give me one.”
“Oh, you have been married before?”
“Twice, yes. The first was a lady I truly loved, but she passed away only a year into our marriage. The second was a lady my father chose. Her name was Elizabeth and we were married for thirty years. In that time, she gave me a daughter, but as she was of no use to me I married her off in her first season. I have not spoken to her since, for around eight years now. It is a shame, I suppose, as the two of you could have been friends.”
Emma felt nauseous at that. His daughter was older than his new bride. His daughter was older than her .
Nearby, she could see the Duke playing cards in the garden with some other gentlemen. He was laughing with them, and she wondered if he was winning. She scolded herself for thinking of him when there were far greater issues at hand, but she couldn’t help herself. He looked up and noticed her, and she must have looked very concerned indeed because he abandoned his game in an instant, joining her.
“I do not wish to speak with you.”
“I am aware,” he nodded, “but as you look so unbelievably miserable, I ought to do the gentlemanly thing and at least accompany you.”
“That will not aid my misery.”
“No, but you won’t be alone in it.”
“I am already in very good company,” she sighed, gesturing to her sister.
He winced.
“Do not tell me they are courting.”
“In all fairness, they are not. They are practically engaged.”
“Ah. Is that what you were telling me last night?”
“Do not ask me about last night,” she replied coldly.
“Very well, I will not,” he nodded, and they walked in silence for a while before adding. “They do not look very much like a couple, do they?”
“Not at all. My heart is breaking for her, but it is what must be done. She is resigned to it, I believe.”
“I wish there was something I could do, as your sister is a lovely young lady.”
“Yes, well, it is as I told you. Some of us have true struggles.”
“So you do wish to discuss last night?”
“What I wish more than anything is to wake up in my own bed and have had all of this be a terrible nightmare, but that will not happen.”
“I am sorry, Miss Kendall.”
“You may be as sorry as you please. It changes nothing. I do not know what you want me to say, Your Grace. I enjoyed my time here, for the most part, and the Duke of Pridefield hosts an excellent party, just as you said. Is that better?”
“I am not opposed to what you have said.”
“Shall I say that I was wrong about you, and that you are not a rake? Shall I confess that I have not known what to do with myself, and I feel useless as a daughter, and a sister, and a friend? Is that what you wish to hear?”
“Of course not!”
“Then why are you here? Why are you with me rather than playing cards? You have a life outside of me and my concerns, so go and live it. I have far much more on my mind than whether or not you are beside me during it all.”
“I know, but I thought I could at least help.”
“You are not helping. You have been a distraction from it, but nothing more.”
Emma thought he might argue more, but he simply nodded, accepted it, and left again. She almost regretted it, but she couldn’t. Every word had been true, after all; she needed to give her efforts to her sister, who was trying to find something good about her new match.
Sarah had always tried her best with everything she did, and Emma had admired that about her, but she knew that under her calm surface there was a storm brewing, and soon enough she would begin to thunder.
She decided to listen to her sister instead, as they were only slightly ahead of them and therefore in listening distance.
“Would you wish to stay in London?” Sarah asked softly.
“I am amenable to that, if my wife wanted to. I see the good and bad in both the city and the country, and I am happy to raise my children in either. I will say, though, that my estate in Somerset is vast. It is far more impressive even than my home in London, which is the envy of many as it is.”
Emma sighed. The Viscount had almost done well by suggesting that Sarah could choose where they settled, but he had ruined it by telling her about his wealth. He likely thought that that would impress his bride-to-be, but Sarah did not care at all about money. If she did, she would not have fallen for a baron as quickly as she had.
“Miss Sarah,” he said after a while, “I shan’t pretend that this is a good match, nor will I try to fool myself into thinking that you could ever love me, but I want you to know something.”
At this, Emma truly paid attention. The Viscount was, at least, being realistic.
“We could find a friendship in all of this,” he suggested. “That is what your father expects. He says you will do it if he asks, and that this is what is best for you. I can offer you security, and afford you all of the privileges of a married lady without any of the duties—besides bearing my children, of course.”
It was a nice offer, and most ladies would have appreciated it, but Emma knew Sarah wouldn’t be interested in the least. She had always longed for a true love match, and this was decidedly not one. Nor would it ever be. She would be unhappy throughout the marriage. There would be glimpses of happiness, likely from her children if they had any, but when all was said and done she was destined to live in misery.
Their walk ended soon after, and though Sarah hid it well, the promise of a friendship at most with a man old enough to be her father did not make her happy at all.
“I wish that I could see Lord Rosendale,” she whispered when the Viscount left them.
“You could. I could find him, chaperone another walk if you wished.”
Sarah shook her head.
“I am forbidden from speaking to him. Father told me that, if I did, he would take me home at once and have the marriage contract signed that very day. I only have two days of freedom left, Emma. I want to make the most of them.”
“The Viscount sounds as though he wishes to give you some freedoms,” Emma tried, in a vain attempt to find some light in the situation. “He is a better match than some are afforded.”
“Ah, so that means I should not be allowed to be upset about it?”
“I never said that. I am trying to help you.”
“Well, you are not. I am trying to see the good in this, Emma. Honestly I am, but it is impossible. I do not love this man. I hardly even like him, and now I must spend the rest of my life with him even though I would rather walk through fire. My life has ended.”
“Sarah, please, try not to think that way. I know it is difficult, but you might be surprised by your new life. You may even grow to like it, one day.”
“I shall never like it,” she spat. “How dare you? You will be perfectly happy within the year, sitting with Aunt Megan and enjoying the finer things in life, while I will be languishing in a drawing room with an old and withered man, desired only for making his babies.”
“That is not–”
But she thought better of it. Instead, she sighed and put her arm around her sister’s shoulder, trying to comfort her but knowing that she couldn’t. Sarah, meanwhile, burst into tears.
“I’m sorry,” she gasped. “I’m so sorry. This isn’t your fault, Emma. I know it isn’t. It is Father’s.”
“It is alright,” Emma soothed. “I understand. This is awful, Sarah, but it will be alright. If you ever truly cannot bear it, you may visit me. You could even stay with me. I am certain that, if you have given him a son eventually, he shall let you leave. He does not seem to hold ladies in the highest regard, after all.”
“No,” she chuckled sadly, “no, he doesn’t, does he? Very well. I shall not think about it until we are home. We still have today, and tomorrow is the ball, and I can have one final night of enjoyment before I lose everything forever.”
“Except for your sister,” Emma reminded her. “You shall never lose me.”
“No,” Sarah replied, steadying herself. “I shall never lose my sister.”
Emma could see resolve in her eyes, and though it pleased her to know that Sarah had found some peace in it all, she had to admit that she was very wary of it, indeed.
Sarah was planning something, and Emma intended to learn just what that was.