Chapter 26 Uncontrolled #4
But I focused on his words, because a different kind of heat flared up inside me.
“Yet I’m subjected to loving you, and wanting you only, whether it’s my fault or not,” I hissed, glaring at him now.
“So why are you here? Why now, when it’s the full moon and you should be out there?
Why did you come here when you barely have any hold on your humanity?
When you’re the Alpha of this pack? When you have other responsibilities?
When you avoided me the whole day to take care of those responsibilities? ”
The fury in his eyes should’ve scared me; it almost twisted the lines of his face into the monstrous expression I’d only seen twice before. But instead of being scared, I felt my own anger rise.
I sucked in a breath and snapped, voice louder now, “You’re toying with me, Lucien. I have no say when it comes to my emotions, but you do. You can leave me alone. You can put distance between us so my emotions would remain my own!”
“I would never subject you to such a fate.”
The gravelly words were followed by a deep, ominous growl that I could feel rising from his naked chest and reverberating through my own body. He was so close now I could see the little streaks of silver in his irises. I could see the deep wine-colored shade of his thick lashes.
With him so close, any kind of strength I’d mustered was now gone, and I deflated in his arms. “What fate?” I whispered, frustrated.
That frustration turned into desire as his knee rubbed against my clothed center. My eyes rolled as my head fell back against the wall, and I had to bite my lip not to moan.
“You will never love another,” he suddenly said, mouth at my ear. “You are my Eteria. Mine.”
His words made me grab his shoulders as my own knees grew weak and I could barely hold myself up, even though his words drove me mad.
“So if you don’t want me to die alone, then there is only one other option, isn’t there?
” I bit out, and almost moaned when I felt his lips brushing against my throat.
But then he lifted his head up, and his stunning eyes found mine again. He seemed even more furious than before, so much so that his hold on my throat and my thigh tightened, making me gasp. “You’d rather be mind controlled?” he snarled, the growling in his chest growing stronger.
I shuddered as I tried to rub myself against his knee, but his hand on my thigh tightened its hold so much it forced me to stop. I wanted to cry in frustration. I wanted release. And I wanted this release from him.
Through the needful haze in my head, I managed to grit out, “It’s not your fault I’m your Eteria either.”
As if I’d said the magic words—the wrong kind, that is—Lucien suddenly released me and stepped back, putting distance between us, his face set in a fury more human than before. From behind him, the first signs of dawn cast a soft, golden halo around him that made him seem like a fallen angel.
Without him holding me, I fell to the floor, staring at him from below, like the peasant I was to his ethereal existence. The strong pull within me, though, ignored that notion. It wanted me to grab him and hold him tight, to ravish him, and have him ravish me, until there was nothing of me left.
“I should’ve let you go,” he said now in a rough voice, no longer so guttural, though he was still growling in evident anger, and he kept stepping back from me as though I was the danger here.
“I shouldn’t have let you take care of me, mortally wounded or not.
That would’ve been kinder than the alternative. ”
Putting my hands on the wall, I slowly pulled myself back up to my feet, though I was shaking all over from everything that was happening here. “So why didn’t you?” I asked hoarsely, something salty on my lips.
Tears. I was crying.
Shit.
His back hit the window as he shook his head.
His expression shattered, revealing shame and desperation that hadn’t been there before, as if the wolf was receding completely, letting the human part of him out.
“I was being selfish,” he hissed, his gaze still holding mine.
Neither of us could look away. “I was . . . I was elated when I realized you were my Eteria . . .”
“Why?” I pressed, confusion mixed with anger making me stride toward him as my knees regained their strength. His eyes widened, and he looked almost cornered when I reached him and grabbed his shoulders. Sparks flew from his skin straight to my palm. “Why, Lucien?”
For the first time, I saw in his eyes what I had never seen, or had refused to see, before.
I could see the heat.
The want.
The need.
His hands wrapped around my wrists, and I didn’t know if he wanted to push me away or pull me closer. I wasn’t sure he knew what he wanted to do either.
“Answer me,” I pleaded with him, unable to take his silence, as I gave in to my body and pressed my front against his, causing an electric current to course throughout my entire being.
His face suddenly twisted in pain, in guilt. Shame. Defeat. “Because the moment I opened my eyes,” he said in a rasp, his hands suddenly on my hips, making my breath catch, “I wanted you like I’d never wanted another woman.”
I froze, staring at him with shock.
He gave me a bitter smile as he grabbed my hair in his fist and forced my head back, his lips hovering over mine. “And the truly sick thing is,” he hissed, “I can force you to want me too.”
Before I could process his words, or even say anything, his lips crashed against mine.