Chapter Thirty-Eight
Homecoming celebrations took on a whole new meaning once Lily experienced them with the Gendry family in addition to all their friends. Her fretting over the noise, the commotion, and the crowding went unnoticed. Her frustrations were spiraling higher and higher each time she caught a glimpse of Theo’s distressed expression or Connor’s pained smile. The doctor side of her brain was flailing. The friend side of her brain was nearly apoplectic.
They weren”t alone in their struggle. She had lost sight of Taz earlier in the afternoon and hadn”t yet been able to extricate herself from the cacophonous mayhem of well-intentioned friends and family. She loved them all dearly. She also needed all of them to seriously dial their energy back, if only because she could see the strain it was putting on Connor. Patient needs first, pleasantries second.
“Please. Everyone.” Her voice disappeared beneath a wave of raucous laughter as the twins and Anna chased the barking dog through the living room. Lily flapped her hands once before she managed to smother the stim with clenched fists. “Quiet down!”
No one listened. She caught Theo”s gaze from across the packed room and saw his weariness and worry. She mimed covering her ears and dipped her head to indicate Connor beside him. He cocked his head and then recognition settled over him. Moving carefully, he gently drew Connor”s head to his chest and cushioned him with his arms. Satisfied he was buffered from the noise, she drew in a deep breath, screwed her eyes shut, and lifted her voice.
“Everyone stop right now!”
Like a strange game of freeze tag, every single person in the overcrowded house stopped dead in their tracks. She peeked through an eye and then expelled a shaky breath. Compulsively, she smoothed her palms over her blouse and took another moment to calm her respiratory system before speaking in a far gentler tone.
“I must insist that you all be quiet. This is far too much noise for a patient suffering the effects of a severe concussion. I know you are all excited. We all are. But please…” She paused and skimmed the people around her before blurting out her next words. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Fucking finally,” Taz muttered as he slipped into the room and took a position beside her. “Love you fuckers to death, but you”re noisy as fuck.”
“Girl, we love you too!” Caleb pounced on the opportunity to smother Taz in a hug. There had been a lot of hugging over the course of the afternoon. Everyone fed into the desire for closeness. They just needed to do it quietly, in her opinion.
“They’re right, my babies. Now, get and wash up. Supper”s ready.” A white puff of hair poked around the door and her cane gently tapped the floor. “Chop, chop.”
Lily’s lips quirked into a smile. She loved Connor’s mother. Everyone loved Connor”s mother. Everyone except for Luke’s father, anyway. The man had spent most of his time complaining to anyone who would listen about the indomitable Birdie O’Brien. When he wasn”t complaining about her, he was complaining to her. Despite his constant interruptions, the older woman had managed to keep a constant stream of comfort food flowing from the kitchen. Sometimes, she worked with a walker. Mostly, she relied on her cane. Every so often, she was feeling well enough to forego both. Lily could see exactly where Connor got his stubborn determination from as she watched the powerhouse of a woman mother anyone and everyone in proximity.
The kitchen was massive, but still not large enough to accommodate the sheer volume of people in attendance. Lily and Taz nodded in unspoken agreement as they held back and motioned for Theo and Connor to do the same. The introverts would take charge of the situation now that a semblance of order had settled over the house. Taz and Theo snuck away to get food, and Lily jumped on the chance to check in with Connor. Doctor first, friend second. Just for the moment.
“How are you feeling? I know you”ve been asked a million times, but I”m asking as a professional.” She settled beside him on the couch and angled her body to study his face.
“M’tired.” He scratched the stubble on his jaw, calling attention to the tension that strained there.
“Did you take anything for the pain?” Lily gently cupped his chin and turned his face upward. His eyes weren”t glassy, so she knew the answer before he spoke it.
“Nah. Tryna… awake.” His lips flickered into a half smile, revealing only one of his dimples before the expression faded.
“They work better when you take them, dear.” Lily reached over his lap and snatched the white paper pharmacy bag from the side table. “When was your last dose?”
“Mn. Mornin’.”
She read over each of the orange pill bottles and divvied up the proper medications with practiced efficiency. They were an even match in the stubborn category. Lily simply hid hers better. His scowl was met with a placid expression as she held her hand out. The standoff continued until he relented and turned his palm up. Only after he took his medications did she relax her posture.
“You’ll rest after dinner?” She gave into the impulse to brush a gentle hand over Connor’s short hair.
“Mnhm. M’tired.” Connor’s eyes darted over her shoulder and his face melted into a weary, unrestrained smile that had both dimples appearing in his cheeks. “Baby…”
“Ma fixed up your plate. There”s chocolate cream pie for after,” Theo murmured quietly as he settled the plate on Connor’s lap before settling on the floor in front of them with his own. Taz re-emerged carrying two more plates. He passed one to Lily and then sat himself on the couch beside Connor. They’d effectively surrounded him with a barrier of quiet that he needed more than ever.
Lily was not at all surprised when three more bodies crept into the living room to join them. Anna plopped down on one side of Theo, with Toby mirroring her on the other side. Last but certainly not least, the goofy goldendoodle wedged himself into the circle and flopped onto his side with a grunt. His quiet, contented panting was the only other sound in the room outside the soft clink of silverware scraping against plates.
Long after they were done eating, the serenity of shared silence lingered. Laughter, merriment, and the bubble of constant conversation could be heard from the kitchen. It was a wholesome and heartwarming sound. The soundtrack of a family singing the lyrics of unconditional love. The six of them, seven if including the dog taking center stage, slipped under the spell of quietude and relaxed into the comforting act of simply being together. No expectations, no burdens, no need to fill the void with meaningless chatter. They could finally just take a moment to breathe.
Minutes turned to moments as the clank and clatter of dishware in the distance drowned out all but the inhale and exhale. Lily stole a glimpse toward the trio seated on the floor and smiled to herself. Anna and Toby, previously fueled by anxious energy, had fallen asleep with their heads on their older brother’s shoulders. A quick glance to the man beside her revealed that he too had succumbed to the sheer exhaustion. His head on Taz’ shoulder was a sight that settled something in Lily’s chest. Gone was the senseless jealousy Connor held toward Taz. A small step that promised giant leaps for the future.
“Mi sol,” Abriella whispered from the doorway. “Did you want to go home soon?”
Lily glanced toward her girlfriend and nodded with a small smile. The blooming warmth in her chest that had ignited during the shared silence of dinner burned even brighter. Alongside it, a needling anxiety took root. The trials and tribulations of the past months had distilled in her a realization that she was nervous to discuss with her partner. Now that the immediate emergencies were gone and the healing process had begun, her mind ran wild with the desperate need to spill everything she wanted to say to Abriella as soon as possible.
The goodbyes and get wells lasted longer than ever as everyone collected in the front yard against the backdrop of the Gendry family welcome home banner. In spite of his exhaustion, Connor made sure to thank each and every person, fighting back tears with a smile on his face as he did so. Lily kept her parting with him short and sweet out of respect for how much he had already been through, but when it came to Theo, she had a hard time ending their embrace.
“Love you, Lil.” He murmured softly into her hair and squeezed even tighter. “Thank you for everything.”
“I love you too, Theo. Remember, everything will get better and you”ll both make it through.” She hugged him back just as hard.
“Call me tomorrow, okay? I want to know how it goes.” He pulled back far enough to kiss her cheek and give her a knowing glance. She”d discussed her thoughts with him in the quiet stolen moments. His support had been endless and effusive. He also knew that she was likely to blurt every word of it to Abriella before sunrise.
After a little bit of forever, she collapsed into the passenger seat with a soft puff of air. The monologue she”d practiced over and over again replayed in her mind until it became an all-consuming thing that gained speed and fueled her nerves into a fever pitch. Before she realized it, her hands were shaking and her breathing had grown erratic and shallow.
“Lil, mi carina?” Abriella”s voice was thick with worry. She had plenty of experience with Lily’s meltdowns and spirals. All the signs of a massive meltdown were there.
“Stop the car! Please, Bell? Stop the car,” Lily blurted, clasping her hands together before pressing them to her lips. The overwhelming flood of emotions had tears blurring her vision and she couldn”t think straight.
“Ay, of course! It”s okay. Whatever it is, it is okay. I am here.” The car lurched as Bell hit the brakes and jerked them toward the curb. Lily”s blurred vision flashed with the hazards reflecting off the car parked in front of them.
The click of a seatbelt precipitated Abriella”s movement as she practically crawled over the console to enfold Lily in her arms. The embrace was difficult and awkward, but she reveled in it nevertheless. Three deep breaths of the familiar perfume her girlfriend wore took the sharpest edges off her emotions and helped the trembling subside.
“Lily, talk to me. Tell me what is wrong. Porfa, mi amor.” Bell’s fingers combed through Lily’s hair, but instead of calming her, it only made it more imperative that she get her thoughts out as quickly as possible. She took another three breaths and when her lips parted, the words tumbled out so fast, they all ran together into one giant, heaping mess of frantic laughter and tears.
“Bella, I love you. I love you so much I can”t even think straight. But I can”t do this anymore. I can”t live like this. It”s too much!” Lily hiccuped on a gasp.
“No. No, no. Lily, we can work this out. We can fix this. Stop, I will not hear any more of—”
“No! Oh my God, no. I”m not finished! Let me finish, please?!” Lily panicked as she realized how horrifically wrong everything she said sounded. She pulled out of Abriella’s grip and grasped her face in her hands. “Shh, let me finish.”
“Porfa, mi vida.” Abriella choked with a strangled sob. Lily brushed the tears from her cheeks with soft kisses before she tried again.
“I love you but I can”t keep going with the stress. It”s too much stress. It will destroy us. I”m leaving the White House. I”m leaving the CDC. I’ll figure something else out, but that”s not the life I want anymore. That”s not the life I see for us.
“Marry me. I want you. I want that life. I want a quiet life and pancakes on Sundays and birthday parties and movies on the couch and a simple job without the stress, without the hopelessness. I want babies and more cats and houseplants that don”t die and dinner parties and dancing in the kitchen and I want you and me and us and I can”t have that with all the stress. So marry me. Make a family with me. Please?”
Abriella stopped breathing. She stopped moving. She even stopped blinking. Lily”s overwrought emotions kicked into a higher gear as panic took hold. Regret rose up her throat as tears pricked at her eyes.
“Please?”
“Si! Si! Ay, dios mio! Yes!” Abriella burst into tears that mixed with a flurry of rapid fire Spanish that she had no hope of translating. Especially when she continued to speak it while simultaneously crushing her mouth to Lily’s in the most frantic kiss of their entire relationship. It was all jumbled words, strangled sobs, and mashed lips. It was pure joy and dreams coming true. It was happily ever after personified. It was the single most beautiful moment of Lily’s entire life. It was the beginning of their forever.
Storm clouds might have been lingering still on the horizon, but the silver lining of them was in full view as they made promises to one another in the cramped front seat of an illegally parked SUV illuminated by the blinking of hazard lights. It was the most perfect end to a harrowing chapter of their lives and she couldn”t wait to turn the page and see what the next had in store for them.