29. Shelby
Even though I wasn’t too worried, my meeting with Clientzilla goes even better than expected. Each time she threatens to freak out, I calmly set my boundaries with her. At one point, she threatens to leave.
“That is absolutely your prerogative,” I say calmly. “But I will tell you there won’t be a second opportunity to sign with my firm.”
She freezes at the door, then turns around, a curious look on her face.
She’s done this a few times before, and I usually end up apologizing.
Not this time. I know it’s a risk—losing this client would be devastating for the company. But I won’t play games with her anymore. If she left, we’d survive. Then we’d thrive.
She frowns and strides back to the table.
Clientzilla—whose real name is Sharon—is a middle-aged woman with a fierce salt-and-pepper bun and a reputation across her industry for firing anyone who looks at her the wrong way and never ever cracking a smile. I was shocked when she engaged my company over all the other firms out there, despite our exceptional track record.
But as she sits back down at the table, she smiles at me. Okay, it’s more like a smirk, but I don’t miss the clear admiration there. “I must say,” she tells me. “The time away has certainly shaped you up. And your fill-in hasn’t been horrific either.”
That feels like a backhanded compliment to both me and Deanie, but I smile anyway, deciding to take it. It’s the closest she’s ever come to giving us one.
Clientzilla frowns, tapping the table and squinting. “But it’s not just the break, is it? There’s something else going on. There’s certainly a glow about you…”
Maybe it’s the two mind-blowing orgasms I had before getting here, I think, my cheeks flushing. “I just have some clarity around things now,” I say.
I’m clear on how the patio opening at Mac’s bar made me feel. Proud, accomplished, and part of the work again. It made me realize how good I am at my job and how important the hands-on work is to me. Mac giving me free rein on R2D2 was exactly what I needed to solidify a decision about my business I’ve been mulling over for a few weeks.
What I’m not clear about is what this means for Mac and me.
Clientzilla’s right, I have changed. Mac’s changed me. Or more like Mac’s helped me find the me that had gotten clouded over. I was always the unserious one, but I grew serious to fulfill my parents’ desires. I did what I thought I had to do. But under the seriousness of Mac, I found my silliness again. I found my ability to not hold back. To run my business with love. To love myself.
To love…
I don’t realize I’ve drifted into thought until Clientzilla stands up.
“Oh,” I say, untwisting my fingers from each other. “I’m sorry?—”
“There’s no need.”
“No, I apologize for not being focused.”
“Ms. Jones. We finished this meeting twenty minutes ago. I’ve just been dithering. But I have all the information I need, and I’m confident the launch event will be a success. Now go deal with whatever the hell is occupying that head of yours.”
To my shock, I feel a pinch at the back of my nose, like I’m going to tear up. But I lift my chin and offer Clientzilla a smile.
“See you soon,” I say.
She waves her hand dismissively, already clopping down the hall in her heels.
The moment she’s gone, Deanie rushes into the boardroom, cringing. “Well? Did I lose us our biggest client?”
“What? No! She loves us.”
Relief rushes over her face. “She loves you, Bryony.”
“She loves you too. She complimented us both. As a team. Sort of.”
Deanie laughs. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.” I say it in Clientzilla’s stern voice. Then we’re both laughing so hard we have to hold our stomachs.
When we finally calm down, I clear my throat and say, “Deanie, speaking of killing it, I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”
Deanie’s smile instantly drops. “Oh no.”
“It’s a good thing,” I assure her.
She frowns. “Is it really? For me too?”
I’m confused. “Yes.”
Deanie smiles hesitantly. “Okay, shoot.”
I smile, excitement bubbling. “I’d like to offer you a promotion.”
Deanie frowns. “To what position?”
“Chief executive officer.”
Her shoulders sink. “No.”
“What?” My excitement vanishes.
“You’re quitting, moving to the seaside to be with your handsome boyfriend. Did he ask you to marry him or something?”
I’m so stunned I can only sputter. “What? No, I’m not quitting.”
“You’re not?” She looks at me skeptically. “Why? You’re crazy about each other.”
My stomach twists. Still, I lift my chin. “We have a…situationship. He knows I’m moving back home in a couple of weeks.” Like Mac is anything I can move on from. “I was hoping to go back to running accounts. I don’t know what the position would be. But I want you to run the company. You’ve done it much better than I have.”
Deanie laughs. Then she goes still. “Oh, you’re serious. Oh my God, Bryony.” She leans back in her chair, pressing her hands to her forehead. “For the smartest woman I know, you’re an idiot.”
“What are you talking about?” I can’t hide the irritation in my voice. But my heart’s also thumping.
“I’m talking about Mac. What’s it going to be like when you’re back here and he’s there? Are you just going to forget you ever met? Leave it as a sad breakup in your diary?”
My letter to my sister, actually.
But the thought of not being with Mac the way we have been makes my heart feel ripped from my chest. “I—” I think, vaguely, you’re not supposed to feel this way about a temporary romance.
“Bryony. Every time you call or text me, you find a way to include him in the conversation.”
“What? No.”
“When I was up there this week, we were all talking about how obsessed he was with you, and you looked like a fire hydrant you were blushing so much.”
“I was not!”
“What’s your favorite thing about him?”
“What? I’m not answering that.”
“Just tell me.”
I huff, folding my arms. But my heart’s beating so hard I can feel it on my forearm. I unfold my arms. “I don’t know. The way he is with people.”
“How’s that?” Deanie asks, her voice softer now.
“He like…watches them. Pays attention to what they need. Then he acts on it. He helps them. He does what he says he’s going to do.”
She’s sitting there, fingers clasped in her lap, like she’s waiting for me to continue.
So I do. “He never wants thanks for the things he does. He just loves doing them. Except sometimes it breaks my heart a little how much he helps. Like he’s still trying to save—” I pinch my lips between my teeth.
“Bryony,” Deanie says. “I’ve seen the way the man stares at you, like he physically can’t let you out of his sight. And you? You light up the damn room anytime you mention his name. You’re in love with the man, and the only one who doesn’t know it is you. And maybe him. But I think you know it now, don’t you?”
There’s a knock on the boardroom door.
I barely hear it. My heart’s thumping almost on the outside of my chest now. In love? Is that what this is? I wouldn’t know. I’ve never felt like this before.
Vaguely, I hear my CFO talking. “Hey, uh, we saw her leave, and I didn’t know which one it was going to be. Then we heard you laughing, but it also sounded like crying. And…Oh God, Bryony’s crying!”
I wipe at the tears in my eyes. “It’s okay.”
I love our CFO. She’s got an afro and about seven piercings on her face and looks forward to tax season like it’s her own personal Mardi Gras.
I’m in love with Mac.
“Just bring them in,” Deanie says.
Our CFO beckons to whoever’s outside. Our receptionist comes in with a balloon that says Sorry for your loss. Then our social media rep comes in with another that says Congratulations! Someone else rolls in a tray with a camel on it. There’s a speech bubble over him that says Yay?
I laugh, because it’s so funny to me. The camel cake, and the truth about how I feel. I spent so long trying so hard not to be attracted to the men I know could hurt me. Then the minute I let myself open up to one, I fall head over fucking heels.
But soon the whole team is filling the room, cheering that Clientzilla’s still with us and everyone has their jobs. They congratulate me, but I refer them to Deanie. I apologize for the tears. “I’m just…emotional being back here,” I say.
We eat cake. They hug me. I feel my heart explode.
“Whatever happens,” I say to Deanie when the others are busy with the cake, “I meant it about you being CEO.”
Deanie squeezes my hand. “We’ll talk later.”
I never thought I’d say this about work after burning out the way I did, but I missed these people, every last one of them.
Even Clientzilla.
I love them, and I love Mac.
My heart is in absolute shambles.