Chapter 39
Declan
I try not to wince as Cam wails into the mic.
Most people have stood at the front of the stage using the mic stand, but Cam clutches it in his hand as he paces around, working the crowd and pointing at people he wants to sing along with him.
Not everybody knows the once-popular Blessid Union of Souls song about how some woman likes him for who he is, but the ones who do know the words are happy to join in.
Olivia stands directly in front of the stage, staring up at Cam with stars in her eyes like his performance is the greatest thing she’s ever witnessed.
Like everyone else in our group who performed before him, Cam has the crowd eating out of his hand.
It didn’t take long for our rowdy group to draw the attention of the rest of the bar, and everyone in here knows Cam and Olivia are getting married this weekend.
Hell, most people in here know Cam and Olivia; small town bar and all that.
When it’s Elsie’s turn to take the stage, I move closer to the front of the crowd, unable to resist the magnetic pull she has over me. Wherever she is, I always want to be close by.
While she tells the DJ which song to queue up, I can’t help the way my eyes rake over her body.
If we were going back to her place or mine tonight, I’d have fun unwrapping her like a present.
Her tight top and those goddamn leggings are practically begging me to rip them off her.
And don’t get me started on the fucking heels.
I’m half-tempted to beg Elsie to skip her sleepover with her friends, but I never would. Their time together is important, especially this close to the wedding.
As the opening notes of the song start to play, a few people in the crowd whoop and yell as they recognize the song.
I don’t realize it’s “Cowboy Take Me Away” until Elsie starts to sing.
I’m not a big country fan, but I do know this one.
I think I’ve even heard it playing at Elsie’s house.
The radio in her kitchen is always tuned to a station that plays old country music, and she likes to sing along under her breath while she cooks, though she does it so softly, I don’t think she realizes I can hear her.
I don’t know if it’s the liquid courage or the fact that her friends already broke the ice by singing first, but she looks at ease on stage.
She holds the mic on the stand between both of her hands and closes her eyes as she sings about someone whisking her away into the wild blue where they’re the only ones for miles and miles.
I can’t take my eyes off her, and it’s not because of the skin-tight outfit I want to pry off her body with my teeth.
She’s ethereal up there, brave and bold and a little bit off-key.
She’s confident in a way I don’t often get to see, for once not worrying about what people are thinking or trying to please anyone.
Though the song appears to be a crowd favorite, with most people in the bar singing along, I know it’s not why she chose it.
This one is just for her. This night is for Olivia and Cam, but this moment – singing one of her favorite songs, by one of her favorite groups – is all hers.
And I want her to be all mine. In a permanent way. Something tangible I can keep forever.
It hits me just then, right in the solar plexus. Not for the first time, but shocking me just the same. Threatening to knock the wind out of me.
I love her. It’s not the first time I’ve had the realization, and I know it won’t be the last.
Falling in love with Elsie is like watching the sun rise.
It doesn’t happen all at once. It starts gradually, so slowly you don’t even realize it at first. The first rays of light start to peek out, bringing hope and wonder and something you’re afraid to put a name to.
Then it crests a bit further into the sky, casting a warm glow over everything in its wake.
By the time you realize what’s happening, it’s too late. It’s daylight.
From there, things just get brighter. Happier. Warmer.
Then it happens all over again the next day, and the day after that, and the one after that. Some sunrises, some moments, are so spectacular they knock the breath from your lungs. Others are more subtle.
Falling in love with Elsie is a lot like that.
I fall for her again and again, in the big moments and in the small ones.
When she’s singing a nineties country song and making us dinner.
While she’s listening to me dump out all my trauma, all my broken pieces and edges, and waiting with open arms to help me pick them back up.
When she opens her eyes and sees me standing in front of her in the crowd, and smiles at me like I’m the only other person in this noisy, crowded bar.
Of course, I fall for her all over again. One time wasn’t close to being enough. She’s my sunrise, bringing all the light and goodness to my life. I fall in love with her day after day, moment after moment. One sunrise after the other.
I think I’ll be falling in love with her for the rest of my life.