27. Luna
As soon as the mind-numbing high from Nik’s kiss finally left me, I knew I was in trouble. Nik, with his arms bracketing me, shoving me against the book stacks—my heart leaped into my throat. I could barely breathe.
The elevator dings, and I step off into a sweeping penthouse. White marble floors cover the whole space, and I practically giggle with excitement when my eyes meet the panoramic city view.
“Hello, Mrs. Balakin,” an older Russian lady greets me.
“Luna is fine.” I offer her a smile, hopeful that correcting her isn’t poor manners.
“Kate is this way.”
When we left the library, I rode with Nik while Lev followed. The ride was silent, and I found myself wondering if he was regretting what happened. I haven’t seen him in a day and a half, so my suspicion that he’s upset with himself feels confirmed.
Kate texted me yesterday, asking if I wanted to come over this afternoon, and I was grateful for her reaching out. Friends were hard to come by growing up.
I follow her housekeeper into the kitchen, where Kate is leaning over the counter, several textbooks open around her and a jar of pickles at the ready. She glances up and does a double take.
“Luna, I’m so glad you’re here! Come on, it’s beautiful out. Let’s sit on the terrace.” She promptly closes each book and shoves the jar of pickles away before hopping out of her seat.
After she grabs two bottles of water from the fridge, I follow her outside, and I’m blown away. It’s such a beautiful escape up here.
Flagstone pavers line most of the space. Several lounge chairs sit around a fire pit, and there’s more shrubs and greenery than I’ve seen in most of New York.
Handing me a water, Kate smiles. “So how has life at the warehouse been? Luka mentioned you had an issue with a raccoon?”
I laugh, the feeling foreign, but satisfying. “It was my fault. Darn thing got in while I was out for a walk. Luckily Nik didn’t kill it.”
“And … how are you feeling about everything? Is that okay to ask?” She gnaws at her lip. We don’t know each other, but there’s a comfortable quality to Kate. Like she isn’t asking purely for gossip or in a disingenuous way; she sincerely cares to know.
“I’m okay. Just trying to figure out what I should be doing. I didn’t go to college, and I don’t have much to do. To be honest, I’m not even sure what Nik thinks about the whole situation—besides feeling trapped.” The glimmer of my gaudy ring catches my attention.
“Trust me, Nik does not feel trapped. I was smack dab in the front row at your wedding when he first laid eyes on you. Despite his grouchy exterior, he was mesmerized by you.”
I fidget with my water bottle.
“From what I understand, Nik normally doesn’t do relationships,” Kate continues on. “I know he carries plenty of pain from his mother leaving him and his father when he was young.
“Luka explained to me once that, after she left, when they were growing up, he never talked about his mother. He said Nik wouldn’t even talk with the female housekeepers or nannies his father would hire. It wasn’t until he was older that he finally started engaging women but it’s like the pendulum swung too far in that direction.” Kate smiles at me. “I keep hoping he’ll come around.”
I press my lips together at the thought of all the other women and try to focus on the resentment festering toward his mother. I don’t know all the details of his father and mother’s relationship. And I’m not going to pretend to know what his mother was going through when she decided to leave, but I’m angry for Nik.
He’s buried by decades of hurt, but I don’t know how to help him.
You practically told him you wanted to leave and travel.
And I do want to travel, but that would prove to him I’m no different from his mother. Leaving because I want something different. Using his loyalty to the Bratva as an excuse to leave. That isn’t the wife I want to be.
Unmistakable longing for him floods my bloodstream, and my seemingly minor interactions with Nik barrel to the forefront of my mind. How he showed grace over my disaster in the kitchen, his witty comments to cheer me up, or the way he took the time to text me on his work trip—I’m falling for him. Hard.
Even his obsessive nature in the gym makes me smile.
“How is school going for you?” I ask, wanting to change the subject.
Kate smiles. “Oh, so good. Luka barely lets me get any studying done when he’s around, so most of it takes place when he’s at work, but it’s great.”
Her smile says it all—I can tell she is happy. I can only hope that one day I’ll find a similar happiness.
We chat more about her studies, as well as some summer plans she’s itching to scratch off her to-do list. She mentions having Nik and I come to Luka’s house in Turks and Caicos. We both laugh at the idea of Luka and Nik taking a week off work, but it’s fun to plan anyway.
By the time I leave, I’m feeling rejuvenated. My heart is full, and this new connection with Kate gives me a smidge of hope.
Although, it’s difficult to have too much hope when your heart is on the line.
When Lev pulls into the warehouse garage, my heart gallops at the sight of Nik’s car already here. He’s home early. It’s been a few days since the library, and I can’t stop thinking about kissing him again.
I’m aching to feel him against me, hands in my hair, pushing me up against the?—
“Luna?”
Lev jolts me from my daydream, and I realize I’ve been staring at Nik’s BMW.
“Huh?” I ask.
“Did you hear what I said?”
Shoot, no I hadn’t. Did he ask me something?
“I’m sorry, Lev. I missed it.”
He snorts, irritation flashing in his eyes before they soften. “I asked if you’d be up for a walk later?”
A walk with Lev isn’t anything new, but something squeezes in my chest. I don’t want to be rude, but?—
“Not tonight, Lev. I’m pretty tired.”
I shuffle my bag of groceries to better grab the handles. We stopped on the way back from Kate’s and I grabbed a few snacks, prepared to wallow in my calories tonight.
He nods and opens his door, running around to my side before I can let myself out.
Standing, I right my skirt and grab my purse. I happen to glance up at the second floor, and a flash of movement across one of the large the window panes captures my attention. Was someone at the window?
After saying hi to the guys in the warehouse and smiling at Frank, I head up the stairs. The rich and delicious smell of buttered popcorn slams into me as soon as I open the door, reminding me how hungry I am.
Nik is seated on the couch, looking relaxed, one leg crossed over his other knee. A bowl of popcorn rests on his lap.
“Hey,” I say.
Nik smiles, his eyes darting to the window and then back to me.
“Hey. Have fun with Kate?”
All right, I guess we’re doing the whole pretend thing. He runs a hand through his hair, and when I move closer, the gray sweatpants and white t-shirt take me by surprise. It’s rare not to see Nik in a suit, but this … this isn’t fair. He can’t look this good in lounge clothes.
His eyes are fixed on the large flat-screen mounted on the wall. Baseball players move across the field, and the pitcher steps up to the mound. Nik leans forward, arms flexing as he sets the popcorn bowl on the coffee table. The eager glint in his eyes makes me smile. The contentment on his face isn’t something I see often.
I unload my groceries, leaving the chocolate-covered candies out on the counter. There’s sparkling water in the fridge, so I grab one but pause before closing the door.
“Want anything to drink?”
Nik’s head snaps toward me and his eyes widen. Why is he staring at me like that?
“There are a few of these?” I hold up a blue can of beer.
He nods, and I walk over to him, still subject to his unrelenting stare. Not even when joyous cheers erupt on-screen does he look away. The tempo of my heart rate increases with every second his gaze lingers.
“I’m going to go change.” I toss my thumb over my shoulder and back out of the room. As I duck into the bedroom, I hear the subtle metallic click-hiss of Nik opening his beer.
After quickly stripping off my skirt, I reach for leggings and a simple t-shirt, but I pause in front of Nik’s side of the closet.
A smirk pulls at my lips when I enter the bathroom and look at my outfit in the mirror. After pulling my hair up into a bun and dabbing on some ChapStick, I leave the room to grab my snacks and water.
Then I plop onto the couch with my chocolate.
Nik’s absorbed in his game, but when he catches I’ve sat, he does a double take. His eyes narrow at me. “Is that my t-shirt?”
His scent clings to the fabric and having it draped around me causes warmth to flutter in my belly. It’s huge on me; the sleeves extend past my elbows and the hem reaches my midthigh, but there is instant comfort in wearing something of his.
“Do you mind?” I ask, not wanting to explain how much solace I feel in its embrace.
“Nah.”
He shoves his hand in the popcorn and plows a fistful of it into his mouth, then swings the bowl to me. I grab a piece and pop it in my mouth, but the bowl doesn’t move. He shakes the snack, making the popcorn jump several times.
“Come on, you can’t just have one piece.”
His smile is crippling. His dimple sits in the perfect place, on the lower part of his cheek, near the corner of his mouth. That tiny endearing indentation is playful, like he is.
I bite my lip and grab a few more pieces. Nik’s eyes flick to my mouth, sending another flutter of butterflies to my stomach. The thought of his hands on me again—I shiver.
Distracting myself with my chocolate seems to help, so I eat a few more pieces before settling in to watch baseball.
The game is close to the end, and after it’s finished, Nik flips the channel to a random cooking competition show.
He tilts his head toward the TV. “Kate got me hooked on cooking shows. She’s always watching them when I’m over.” He rubs his palms over his sweatpants, and his gaze moves to my, or his shirt, rather.
“I should probably watch more cooking shows, seeing as I can’t actually cook.” I smile and pull my legs up underneath me.
“Want me to record this episode for you?” He grins at me.
I toss a candy at him, and it lands on his chest. Smirking, he picks it up and puts it in his mouth, eyes holding mine. Then he moans. Actually moans. It’s overly dramatic and in jest, but that doesn’t stop my stomach from tumbling in anticipation. I can’t be the only one sensing the chemistry between us, can I?
“Want more?” I ask, holding out a few different colors in my palm. He ignores them, not sparing them a glance.
“I definitely want more.”
Desire blooms at his words, my heart leaping out of my chest. But, as if realizing the effect of his words, he blinks and clears his throat.
“Ever put some of these on popcorn?” I dump a few of the candies on top of the remaining popcorn, and he scrunches his nose like I’ve committed a grievous error.
“Please tell me you did not just ruin the popcorn?”
“It’s good,” I say. “Here, try it.”
I hold the bowl out for him, and he picks out a piece of popcorn with a blue candy before popping it into his mouth. His tongue darts out to lick the salt from his mouth, and I watch it trace around his lips. I have to shove away the urge to touch him, to kiss him.
“Not bad, Moonbeam. Who would’ve thought?” He grins and tries a few more pieces before setting the bowl down between us. His hand grazes my knee, and suddenly I can’t breathe. Instead, he lets it hover there, his warring expression pained.
Kiss me.
“Nik …” I want to sound confident, but his name comes out as a whisper. Slowly, his hand glides up my thigh, stopping at the spot where the shirt lands. He yanks the hem toward him, and I’m pulled into his body, my forehead knocking against his chin.
Laughter bubbles out of me. “Ouch!” I rub my head where we collided and reach up to his face with my other hand. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He rubs his chin. “You’ve got a hard head, Luna.”
I laugh and swat at him, attempting to pull away, but his hand comes up to circle my wrist and he tugs me farther on top of him. Hazel eyes stare me down, unsaid words swirling behind them, and I wish I could crack open his head to know his thoughts. I hold still, fighting the urge to put my lips on his.
Wait for him, Luna.
A hand skates up to my face, Nik’s thumb caressing across my cheekbone. Fingers tangle in my hair, and he fists a small amount to tug.
“You’re impossible to resist. It’s maddening.”
As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he kisses me. His tongue runs along my lips, and I open for him, inviting him deeper. There isn’t any urgency this time. This time, it’s slow and languid as our tongues stroke passionately together.
He tastes like chocolate and home.
His hands slide under my shirt, fingers grazing my ribs but never moving farther up. The moment isn’t lust-filled; it’s something more, and I’m taking it. I’m holding on to this.
I bring my hand to his face. The closely trimmed hair prickles my skin, and I follow it up to his hair. His eyes close as I bring his mouth back to mine and he nips at my bottom lip. A laugh spills out of me as the rough pads of his fingers skate around my neck.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to be the one to make you laugh.” He drops his hands to my waist. “It’s intoxicating.”
Yep.
I’m in so much trouble.