Chapter 12
What the hell did I just do?
Zach hadn’t intended to kiss Davina. On the contrary, he’d sworn to himself he would stay away. But the sight of her touching his brother had been his undoing, the need to brand her as his own as strong as it had been all those years ago.
Pissing on trees, she’d called it, and she was right.
That was how it had started, anyway, but the instant her mouth opened beneath his, he’d been raging with sexual need like he hadn’t felt since last he’d been with her.
He’d thought the lust he remembered in her arms had been glorified in his memory, but that was clearly not the case.
That woman set him on fire like no one else ever had, and the knowledge was a force that had destroyed his defenses in one fell swoop.
If he’d taken even a moment to think it through, he would have realized what a bad idea that was—proving the one thing he wasn’t sure he wanted to be true.
But the moment he kissed her, he was right back in the middle of the storm.
She was temptation and spite, attraction and frustration all rolled into one.
She was the only woman who’d ever affected him deeply, the one he felt compelled to keep by his side no matter the cost. And the cost, he was sure, would be high.
He had to have her.
Even as he thought it, he knew it was wrong.
He was starting a new relationship with his son.
Starting one with Davina at the same time would link the two together, as if they were a complete family appearing out of nowhere like a dove in a magic trick.
If things didn’t work out with Davina, it would be bound to hurt his relationship with Wyatt.
That wasn’t a chance he was willing to take.
Down the road, if he was still drawn to Davina, they could see if they were as compatible as they’d once been.
The stakes wouldn’t be so high. Yes, that was the logical thing to do, the best way to ensure he and Wyatt got off to a stable beginning.
And if Zach and Davina were meant to be, they could pick up right where they left off at some point in the future.
He’d just have to stay away from her in the meantime.
Feeling better for his reasoning, he pulled into the parking lot of the hotel and went inside, quickly locating the HERO Force suite and knocking on the door.
Razorback opened it, glancing from one end of the hall to the other. “Where’s your brother?”
“He’ll be here soon.” At least, he sure as hell hoped so. He followed Razorback into a lush suite with a long polished conference table and a wide view of nighttime Houston. “Nice digs,” said Moto.
“We need the space. Sit down. Should we get started?”
“Not a lot to do until Ben and the lawyer get here. I already briefed you on the phone.”
“Any luck with the computer evidence?” Razorback asked.
“Not yet. This one isn’t going to be easy.”
Trace turned around from a small kitchenette. “You hungry? I got grinders.”
He was a good friend, possibly Moto’s closest on HERO Force. “Already ate, but thanks.”
Sloan Dvorak threw a grocery bag onto the table and withdrew a bag of Cheetos, tearing them open and popping a handful in his mouth. Brett Champion chuckled. “Everything okay with Joanne?” he asked Sloan, whose penchant for cheese-flavored snacks during heartache was infamous among the men.
Sloan lowered his heavy brow and held up a bright orange curl. “Sometimes, a Cheeto is just a Cheeto.”
Razorback grunted. “And sometimes it’s a desperate cry for help.”
Sloan looked from one man to the next. “Joanne’s fine.
Great, actually. I’m madly, deeply, passionately in love.
” Sloan was a joker, forever making light of every situation, and he’d always been popular with the ladies.
The very idea of him settling down was difficult to imagine.
But a recent mission had reunited him with his high-school girlfriend, and it seemed the relationship had stuck, an idea Moto found unnerving given his current situation with Davina.
“Good for you, meathead,” quipped Champion.
Now there was a man who would never settle down. Brett Champion didn’t just date a lot of different women. He was a player, a real son of a bitch where the ladies were concerned, and Moto was torn between admiring the hell out of him for his conquests and being somewhat concerned.
Razorback had no such ambivalence. He gave Champion the side-eye. “A real woman beats the hell out of those bimbos you date, asshole.”
“I love my bimbos.”
Moto pulled out a chair and sat, struck by the differences among them as far as women were concerned.
They were each at their own stage in life, each with their own priorities.
A week ago, he knew where he fit in. Now he felt like the floor beneath his feet was shaking.
He was a father, for God’s sake, and that changed everything.
Trace came over from the kitchenette, his hands loaded with plates, a bag of sub rolls, and deli meat wrapped in paper. “I’m freaking starving.” He turned to Razorback. “Would it kill you to have snacks in the chopper?”
Razorback didn’t look up from the papers in front of him. “If you cleaned up after your goddamn self, you could eat wherever you wanted.”
Sloan grinned and bit down on a Cheeto. “He lets me eat in the chopper.”
Trace plopped down in his chair with a sigh. “If he didn’t, you’d never go anywhere, starting to show it, too—if you don’t mind me saying so. Turkey good with everybody?”
The men mumbled their agreement. Sloan looked at his abdomen with mock horror. “Five pounds, maybe ten.”
“Love will do that to you, man,” said Champion. “That’s why I stay clear of love. And Cheetos, for fuck’s sake. That shit’s not even food.”
Moto turned to Razorback. His new girlfriend had a kid not much younger than Wyatt. “How about you, Razorback? How’s Jackie?”
“She’s good. Glad to be back in the States. She’s turning an old house by the water into a bed-and-breakfast. It’s going to be amazing. And Selena loves her new school. Made a lot of friends already.”
Trace ripped open a sub roll with his hands and stuffed it with turkey. “Don’t worry. I just washed my hands.”
“I’m not worried. Cheetos are a natural antibiotic,” said Sloan, popping another into his mouth. “I’m gonna outlive all you motherfuckers.”
Moto shifted in his seat. “What’s it like having a kid all of a sudden?”
Razorback looked up, his sharp brown eyes seeming to see right through Moto. “Well, she’s not my daughter. Not yet, anyway, maybe someday. But it’s nice.” He shrugged. “She and Jackie were a package deal from day one.”
“Is it hard? You only had yourself to worry about for a long time. Then suddenly, bam, you’re a dad. Or not a dad, but you know what I mean.” Moto looked around the table. Trace had stopped moving halfway through stuffing a grinder, and Chase watched Moto with one brow raised.
“Something going on with you, Moto?” asked Razorback. “You haven’t asked about our love lives before.”
Damn it, he hadn’t meant to divulge too much information. But who the hell was he hiding it from? Wyatt was his child, period. There was no reason not to tell his friends. His palms began to sweat. “Just found out I’m a father.”
Sloan whistled. Trace smiled. “Congratulations, my man. Is it a boy or a girl?”
“A bouncing ten-year-old boy.”
Trace’s face fell. In the silence that followed Moto’s pronouncement, Trace said, “Well, shit.”
“Yeah.” Moto leaned back in his chair. Telling his friends made it that much more real, and he knew the impossible turn his life had taken would eventually permeate his entire world. Nothing would ever be the same again, now that he knew about Wyatt. “My high school girlfriend.”
Razorback looked genuinely sympathetic. “And she never told you?”
“Nope.” Emotion stung him in the gut, surprising him. What the hell was the matter with him? He’d had more feelings in the past week than the last five years. He opened his mouth, about to give them the whole story, but thought better of it. “She had her reasons.”
“Good ones, I hope.” Trace passed Moto a sandwich.
Moto’s phone vibrated. “Lawyer’s on her way.” Even the late, crazy-ass lawyer was more reliable than his brother.
Razorback leaned back in his chair and clicked his pen before putting it down. “Come outside with me, Moto.”
Moto followed him through a sliding glass door and onto a long, narrow terrace, the lights and sounds of traffic far below. “What’s up?”
“I called the feds this morning to get backup dealing with DeRegina’s men in case we need it. I gave them your brother’s name and role in this situation. They, in turn, gave me some information about your brother’s criminal history.”
Moto’s stomach clenched. As far as he knew, Ben had no criminal history. “Go on.”
“He was arrested twice for dealing drugs, once while he was still a minor and once when he was nineteen. Because one was a juvenile record, he didn’t do any time for the second. Is there any possibility your brother is in this deal more than you know?”
“Are you asking if he’s a drug dealer?”
“Or working for them, yes. It seems possible, given his history, that he was more than just a hapless victim. Perhaps even a partner.”
Moto moved to the railing, bracing himself on either side. He wanted to stand up and defend Ben, to insist his brother couldn’t do such a thing, and the realization he could not was a blow. “I don’t know. But I agree, it’s possible.”
“And if that’s the case, my men may be in danger. Now, I’m going to ask you again. Where is your brother?”
“I don’t know. I’m not keeping anything from you, Razorback. I wouldn’t. He had some walk-through to do for his real estate work.”
“Do you trust him?”
Moto looked back at the new leader of his team, a man he respected and admired, a man much like he himself wanted to be.
The contrast between Razorback and Ben was striking, and he wondered how much of success was dictated by circumstance and how much was created by design.
“His heart’s in the right place, but he makes bad decisions. I have to say no.”
Razorback nodded. “I appreciate the honesty.” He looked out over the city. “Been a hell of a trip down memory lane for you, hasn’t it?”
“You have no idea.”
The men were silent for a minute, a car honking in the distance. For the briefest moment, Moto wished none of this had ever happened, that he could have been oblivious to his brother’s reality forever.
But then you wouldn’t know about Wyatt.
He still didn’t know what to think about the boy, didn’t know how to be a father or what this would mean for either of them.
But he knew one thing. He would never want to go back to a world where he didn’t know his son existed.
Whatever came next, they’d figure it out together.
They would learn how to be father and son, no matter what happened with Ben or Davina.
That was his kid, and he was going to do whatever it took to make a place in his life for the boy.
“It’s the best thing in the world, parenthood,” said Razorback, seemingly reading his mind. “Even if you get there late to the party. It’s like they were waiting for you the whole time. He’ll probably put you through the wringer to see if you’re really going to stay.”
“And how do I prove that to him?”
“You show up, again and again. You give him time. Be patient.”
Moto’s throat constricted. “I already missed so goddamn much.”
“But you’re here now.” He clapped Moto on the back. “That’s what matters. The only thing you can control is what happens next.”
Moto nodded. “Thank you.”
“You’ve got it. What about this kid’s mother? She married to somebody else?”
“No.”
“Do you want her to be, or do you want her for yourself?”
He thought of the kiss he’d shared with Davina in the kitchen not two hours before and his decision in the car on the way here. “No. Getting to know my son is what’s important right now.”
“Don’t forget, you’ve got all that time you’re going to be waiting for that kid to come around. You may as well do something worthwhile.” Razorback turned and walked back inside, leaving Moto alone on the thin strip of balcony.