Chapter 38
Jax stood in the hallway of the maternity ward, his eyes fixed on Jessa through the open doorway to her hospital room. He should've been there, dammit. He'd put her in harm’s way without even realizing it. She might even have died.
"I'm very sorry, Mr. Andersson," said the doctor, some young medical student who'd done his best to explain placental abruption. In the end, all that mattered was they were losing the baby.
Cowboy thanked the doctor for the information, but Jax didn't have any words.
He walked into her room and sat down beside the bed. The machine was beeping and he stared at it, not comprehending for a moment. Two heartbeats. Hers and the baby's.
Jesus.
Were they just supposed to sit here and listen to it die?
Jessa opened her eyes and reached for his hand. He held it in his own, his thumb gently rubbing her skin. "What did the doctor say?" she asked.
"He said you need to get your sleep."
"The baby, Jax. How is the baby doing?"
His eyes locked with hers, the horrible truth needing no words to be conveyed.
"He's wrong, Jax! I can feel the baby kicking. Our baby is alive."
He nodded, tears falling onto his cheeks as he moved his head. "Yes. But the placenta is coming off the uterine wall. He said there's a chance it might stop, but in all likelihood—"
"I'm going to lose the baby." Her eyes glistened, but she did not cry. She moved over. "Come and lie next to me. Just be careful of my ribs.” She lifted the covers for him to climb in beside her, and Jax knew he had never experienced such great happiness or sorrow.
She settled her head in the crook of his arm and placed his hand on her stomach beneath her hospital gown.
His tears were coming freely now, rolling down his cheeks and into her hair. He kissed her forehead. A tiny movement beneath his hand made him jump.
"You felt that?" she asked.
"Yes."
"She's a fighter, our daughter. Don't count her out just yet."
Their daughter. Their little girl. It was too much to image she might die, and he felt a renewed sympathy for losses Jessa had already sustained.
Please, God, let us keep this baby.
Jax fell asleep in Jessa's bed, listening to the monitor beat in time to their daughter's heart and wondering if he’d ever have the chance to hold her in his arms.