Chapter 40
Jax rounded the corner into Jessa’s hospital room, a bouquet of bright flowers in his hand. She was standing at the window, fully dressed, her bag closed on the bed.
“Good morning. Are you two ready to go?”
She grinned at him and nodded, a hand pressed to her stomach. “More than ready.”
She’d been in the hospital almost a week with doctors making sure the baby was stable before they allowed Jessa to get up and walk around.
Jax had been here the better part of every day.
Rooting for their baby to survive had brought them closer together. They played stupid games and watched Jeopardy on TV. Jax liked it, and he’d already made up his mind he didn’t want any of it to end.
He handed her the flowers. “For you.”
“Thank you.” She sniffed the blossoms and smiled.
“I’ve been thinking, maybe you should move in with me,” he blurted.
“What?”
“This week here with you. I’ve enjoyed it.”
“I’m not sure that’s enough of a reason to move in together.”
“I can think of more.”
“I like you, Jax.” She looked at the floor then met his eyes. “A lot. But I barely survived my first experience with HERO Force. I can’t go back to living like that. Waiting for you to come home and always fearing the worst.”
“So expect the best, not the worst. I love what I do, and I’m good at it. HERO Force is making a difference in this world. A positive difference.”
“Then do it, Jax. But don’t expect me to keep the home fires burning, because I can’t do it. Not again.”
Jax stared at her long and hard. “Even if I love you?”
She raised her chin.
“Even if you’ve made me happier in weeks than I’ve been all my life?” he asked. “I meant what I said that first night you stayed in my bed. My life is better now— with you and the baby— than it’s ever been before.”
“HERO Force is a deal breaker for me, Jax. I’m sorry. I care about you so much, but I just can’t do it.”
“This isn’t the kind of love you can keep at arm’s length, Jessa.” He wasn’t used to expressing his feelings, wasn’t used to putting something so personal into words. “It’s the kind of love that swallows you up whole and will change everything in your life if you let it.”
She took his hand. “Will you let it, Jax? Will you let it change your whole life?”
She was asking about HERO Force. If he would give it up for her. The thought made him crazy, but so did the idea of losing her. He didn’t see how he could live without either one of them.
He brought her hand to his lips, kissing the back of it, aware of just how much he had to lose. “It’s not an easy thing to do, what you’re asking.”
“I know.”
He nodded, unable to tell her what she wanted to hear but equally unable to deny her request. “Don’t give up on me yet, Jessa.”
“I’m having your baby. I’m not going anywhere.” She shrugged her shoulder. “Anymore, that is.”