Chapter 3
The cold seeped through the car windows, a silent reminder of why Joy had no business being here. Her breath misted up the glass as she peeked out at the gathering crowd near Pike’s Peak quarry lake.
She wasn’t surprised to see that nearly every Oak Creek resident under the age of sixty was here. And Bear was right; it all had started with her.
She slumped farther into the driver’s seat, the weight of her memories pressing down on her. At fourteen, she hadn’t thought twice about stripping down to her bra and panties and leaping into the icy lake on a dare. It had been a reckless, wild moment that had sparked a bonfire and, unknowingly, a town tradition. Every year since, the crowd had grown bigger, the event more official.
And every year, Joy had been there, plunging in with everyone else. She’d never once missed it. Not even three years ago when she’d already had a cold and jumping into the frigid water had meant she was out of work for nearly a week afterward. This had been her tradition, and she’d been proud to lead the nonsense.
But now…
Now, the very thought of stepping out of the car made her stomach churn. The attack had stripped her down to a raw, fragile version of herself she barely recognized and definitely didn’t like.
The car door creaked as she forced it open slightly. The cold air bit at her cheeks, but she stayed rooted to the seat.
The sound of laughter and the excited chatter of the crowd carried over the wind. A few people jogged past her car, their energy electric, their anticipation clear. Normally, she’d be right there with them, leading the charge, hyping everyone up. But right now, she just felt like a stranger in her own skin.
She gripped the steering wheel, her knuckles white against the cold, cracked leather. She hadn’t come here for the thrill of the plunge. Not really. She was here because staying in that damn house for one more second today wasn’t an option.
The walls had been closing in on her, suffocating her with their silence, with the memories lurking in every shadow. She couldn’t sit in that tiny playhouse in the backyard either, bundled in blankets, pretending she wasn’t afraid of her own damn home.
She’d had to get out. Had to do something, anything , to prove she was still part of the world.
And if she was honest, she was here because Bear had asked her to come. She couldn’t resist that.
She hated how much sway he had over her, how just the thought of seeing him made her stomach flip. Walking home with him last night had been the best she’d felt all day. He was concerned about her, but he didn’t treat her like she was fragile, didn’t look at her with pity. He just…was Bear.
Steady. Solid. Bear .
Last night, walking home had been the closest she’d felt to normal in a long time. But when he’d wanted to come inside, her pulse had spiked. One step over that threshold into her house and he would’ve seen the truth.
How bad things really were. How she was barely hanging on.
She couldn’t let that happen.
A sharp knock on her window startled her out of her spiral. Her heart jumped, but when she turned, relief washed over her. Amari Lindstrom stood outside her car, bundled in a bright-red coat, her face lit with a smile that could chase away even the darkest clouds.
“Amari!” Joy exclaimed, fumbling to open the door the rest of the way. She stepped out into the cold, wrapping her arms around her childhood friend.
Amari squeezed her tightly, the embrace grounding Joy in a way she hadn’t expected. “I was hoping I’d run into you! I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw your car.”
“I can’t believe you’re here!” Joy pulled back, grinning despite the knot of anxiety still lodged in her chest. “What are you doing in Oak Creek? Aren’t you supposed to be performing heart transplants or something?”
Amari laughed. “Not quite yet. I’m in the middle of my residency, but I managed to snag a four-day mini-break. I’ll be working Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, so I figured I’d come home while I could. Spend some time with my parents and Theo and Eva.” She motioned toward the crowd near the lake. “They’re all here. Planning to make the jump.”
“Of course they are,” Joy said with a chuckle. “You Lindstroms are all a little crazy.”
Amari’s smile softened as she studied Joy. “I also heard about the attack last month.”
The warmth of the moment vanished, and Joy felt her walls snap into place. Amari was a good friend, but this topic wasn’t open for discussion.
“Oh yeah. That. I’m fine.” She waved a hand, aiming for casual. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”
Amari’s brow furrowed. “Joy.”
“I mean it,” Joy said, forcing as bright a smile as she could manage, ignoring Jakob Kozak’s voice in her head that made real smiles so difficult.
Your smile would make a wonderful trophy.
Joy cleared her throat, pushing past the nightmare. “I’m good. You know me—bounce back like a rubber ball.”
Amari crossed her arms, clearly unconvinced. “You’ve always been a terrible liar, you know that?”
Joy opened her mouth to protest, but the words got stuck. Amari had known her since they were kids. She could read Joy like a book, and right now, Joy felt like her pages were being peeled back one by one.
Amari touched her arm gently. “You don’t have to tell me everything, but… I’m here, okay? If you need someone to listen. You’ve always been there for me, Joy. Let me be there for you now.”
Joy swallowed hard, her throat suddenly tight. She nodded but said nothing, terrified that if she spoke, the cracks in her armor would show. Instead, she hugged Amari again, holding on just a little longer this time.
They broke apart as a voice crackled over a portable speaker, grabbing everyone’s attention. “All right, folks, the sun’s going down! Time to get ready for the plunge!”
Joy looked toward the lake, now bustling with activity as families hurried to the bank and younger kids squealed with excitement, splashing in the shallows. Off to the side, a group of teens egged one another on, daring one another to jump from the quarry’s higher ledges. The energy was infectious, even for Joy.
“So—” Amari turned to Joy with a sly grin “—which ledge is it this year? You’ve done them all, haven’t you?”
“I—uh—” Joy stammered, her hands fidgeting with the edges of her coat. “I wasn’t really planning to jump?—”
“Oh, fuck that noise.” Amari cut her off, shaking her head firmly. “You’re jumping. Period. If you didn’t bring a bathing suit, you can just do it the way God intended: in your undies.”
Joy’s cheeks flushed. “I’m not jumping in my underwear.”
“Well, then…” Amari waggled her eyebrows. “Better hope you’ve got a suit.”
As it turned out, Joy did. She muttered something about muscle memory making her toss it into the car out of habit. Amari grinned triumphantly and grabbed a towel from her own bag, holding it up like a curtain. “All right, let’s see those Olympic-quick clothes-changing skills. No peeking, I promise.”
Joy rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a small laugh. “This is just like when we were fifteen, sneaking out to swim after curfew.”
“Except this time, I won’t dare you to try a cannonball off the high ledge,” Amari teased.
Joy wiggled into her suit behind the towel, muttering complaints about the cold, but Amari just told her to hurry up.
With her suit on and towel wrapped snugly around her, Joy nodded. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
They made their way to the second ledge, higher than the five-foot ledge where all the grade-school kids were waiting to jump, but lower than the quarry’s daredevil ledge. Only a few people had ever attempted that one, including Oak Creek’s resident thrill-seeker and extreme sport athlete, Colton Harrison.
“Nope,” Joy muttered, glancing up at the high ledge. “I’m not that crazy. Not today.” The attack had nothing to do with her not wanting to jump from there. She’d done that only once, and it had been enough.
“Medium ledge it is, then,” Amari said, bumping her shoulder against Joy’s. “This is going to be fun. Just like old times.”
“Yeah, cold and miserable,” Joy muttered.
She climbed the path to the medium ledge with Amari, her breath puffing out in frosty clouds as they made their way up. The noise of excited chatter and laughter grew louder, and she spotted a group of familiar faces waiting near the edge.
“Joy!” Dorian and Ray Lindstrom turned in unison, their warm smiles lighting up the cold evening.
She grinned as Amari’s parents pulled her in for tight hugs, the kind that made her feel like a kid again. “It’s so good to see you both,” Joy said, the genuine warmth in her voice surprising even herself.
Dorian and Ray had basically helped raise her, taking over when she’d run her own parents ragged, which was most of the time. More than once, Ray had picked Joy up after school, inviting her to come hang with them. It had only been later that Joy had realized it had been at her much-older parents’ request.
“Not as good as it is to see you, sweetheart,” Ray said, patting her back. “You’ve been keeping too scarce lately.”
“Trying to stay busy,” she deflected, shooting Amari a quick look.
Before Ray could pry further, Amari’s brother Theo and his wife Eva waved to Joy from where they were standing over to the side. The familiar comfort of all the Lindstroms was a balm to Joy’s frayed nerves.
Then Theo shifted, and she saw him.
Bear stood a few feet away, talking with Theo, his deep laugh carrying over the crowd. Her pulse quickened as his gaze flicked toward her, his expression softening. He said something to Theo and made his way over.
“Glad you made it,” Bear said, his brown eyes steady on hers.
She shrugged, suddenly self-conscious. “Had to do something to get out of my own head.”
Someone on a megaphone announced that it was time to jump. Cheers erupted as kids jumped off the lower ledge into the cold water. Once they cleared out of the water, everyone held their breath as Colton and a couple other crazy people jumped from the high ledge.
She looked over at Bear. “Don’t forget to take off your shirt before you jump. You’ll regret it if it gets soaked.”
“I’ll keep it on,” he said simply, his voice steady but a little too casual. “You nervous?”
Joy’s brow furrowed at his response about the shirt, but she let it go, focusing on his question.
She thought about it, surprised by the answer. “No, not really. This is easy.”
Being alone in her house scared the hell out of her, but this? A leap into icy water from a cliff? That felt like nothing.
The megaphone came back on, announcing it was clear for the middle ledge to jump at their leisure.
Bear looked like he was going to ask her one of his soul-searching questions, so she grinned and said, “See you at the bottom.”
She sprinted to the edge and took a flying leap off the rocks.
She flipped herself as she fell, the world whirling by in a spin, then cold hit her like a wall as she entered the water, shocking and exhilarating all at once.
For a few blissful seconds, all the weight in her chest disappeared. She wished she could stay under here forever.