Chapter 16
Bear couldn’t keep his eyes off Joy the whole way back to the cabin. Had no desire to. And he loved the way she kept glancing back over her shoulder at him with hooded eyes, her lips curving into that secretive smile that was only for him.
“Staring’s rude, you know,” she teased, her voice carrying on the crisp air as they hiked the final stretch.
“Can’t help it.” His voice came out rougher than intended. “You’re worth staring at.”
A flush that had nothing to do with the hike spread across her cheeks, and damn if that didn’t make him want her even more.
The cabin appeared through the trees, smoke curling from the chimney where he’d banked the fire before they’d left. The sight of it—their private sanctuary away from everything—sparked something primal in him. Something possessive.
Inside, the fire crackled in the stone hearth, casting flickering shadows along the wooden walls. The forest had settled into a quiet hum outside—wind rustling through the trees, the distant murmur of the river, the occasional hoot of an owl.
It was as if everything had settled so he could focus on Joy.
Joy went to stand by the fire. Bear forced himself to move, trying not to seem as eager as he felt. He hung his jacket beside hers, all too aware of the domesticity of the gesture. Their things hanging together. Their place. Their time.
Their time. Finally, after all these years, their time.
Instead of hurrying over to her, he swallowed hard and forced himself to walk to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee to brew. But his hands felt too big, too clumsy.
He was trying not to rush this, and it was damned near killing him.
“Been waiting a long time for this,” he admitted, more to himself than to her.
“For coffee?” She raised an eyebrow.
“For you.”
Her expression softened, vulnerability flashing across her face for just a moment before she masked it with a playful smirk again. She watched him from under heavy lids, a small smile playing at her lips. “You nervous, mountain man?”
He huffed out a laugh. “Should I be?”
She shrugged and sat down on the love seat, shifting until she was stretched out, one arm draped along the back. “Depends.”
His chest tightened. She was playing with him, and she damn well knew it.
He set the coffee down on the table, then crossed the room, standing over her. “On what?”
She tilted her chin up, her green eyes dark in the firelight. “On whether or not you’re going to kiss me again.”
The invitation in her voice sent heat spiraling through him. “I’d like to do a hell of a lot more than that.”
She reached for him, curling her fingers around the front of his shirt, tugging him down until he was bracing his hands on either side of her. “Then do it.”
Bear hadn’t realized until right at that moment he was nervous. He held himself back from devouring her lips the way he so desperately wanted to, forcing himself to remember what mattered most.
“It’s important to me before we even get started that you know we can stop this at any point, for any reason.” His voice came out rougher than he’d intended.
“Bear—”
He cupped her cheek, his callused palm gentle against her skin. “I know the attack wasn’t sexual in nature, but I also know fear is insidious and sometimes makes its way into places it doesn’t belong.”
Her eyes softened, understanding flooding her expression. “Okay.”
He tilted his forehead against hers, breathing in the sweet vanilla scent of her shampoo, the faint traces of woodsmoke that had settled in her hair during their hike. “I just want you to take this as slowly as you need. We don’t rush anything or try to power through. You talk to me if anything we do triggers something from that night.”
That was the most important thing to him: that she understood he would stop a thousand times over before wanting her to pretend she was all right when she really wasn’t.
She turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand that was cupping her cheek, her lips soft against his work-roughened skin. “Thank you. I don’t think that’s going to be necessary.”
“Fine. But if it is…”
“Then I’ll say so rather than use any of the self-defense moves you taught me.” Her lips quirked upward. “I promise. Now kiss me again, Bollinger.”
Bear needed no further invitation. He closed the distance between them, capturing her mouth with his. He kissed her slowly at first, dragging it out, making her feel it. Her lips parted beneath his, a small sigh escaping her as he dipped his tongue in to taste her. Coffee and cinnamon and something uniquely Joy.
She slid her hands up his chest, mapping the contours of his muscles through his shirt before her nails lightly scraped along his neck. He groaned, the sound vibrating from deep in his chest as he deepened the kiss.
One of his hands found its way to her waist, fingers splaying wide against the curve where her sweater had ridden up, exposing that tantalizing strip of skin. She was warm beneath his touch, so warm, and he stroked his thumb over her hip bone, savoring the way she arched into his touch.
By the time they pulled apart, they were both breathing hard. Her lips were swollen from his kisses, her eyes heavy lidded with desire. Her body was warm against his, and he could feel her heart hammering in pace with his own.
Her breath was warm against his throat as she pressed soft kisses to his jaw, her fingers fisting in his shirt as he pressed her back into the cushions of the love seat. The fire crackled beside them, throwing soft, golden light over her skin, over the green of her eyes that had gone dark with heat.
Bear braced himself, palms planted on either side of her, fighting to keep his control. “Joy,” he murmured, voice rough with need.
She licked her lips, her fingers sliding beneath the hem of his shirt, brushing over the heated skin of his abdomen. Her touch left a trail of fire in its wake, and Bear’s muscles jumped beneath her fingers. “Don’t stop.”
He groaned, dropping his forehead against hers, his pulse hammering in his veins. He wanted this—wanted her—so badly it was an ache deep in his bones. But he needed to be sure. To check one more time. “You sure?”
She pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, and what he saw there stole his breath. There was no hesitation, no doubt. Only trust and desire and something deeper that neither of them was quite ready to name.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” she whispered.
That undid him.
With a low growl, Bear captured her mouth again, kissing her deeply. This time, there was nothing restrained about it. He poured years of wanting into that kiss, years of holding back, years of watching her and waiting.
She responded in kind, her body arching up to meet his, her hands sliding under his shirt to press against his bare back. When she raked her nails gently down his spine, he shuddered, his control slipping another notch.
In one fluid motion, he slid his arms beneath her and lifted her from the love seat. Joy made a small sound of surprise against his mouth but didn’t break the kiss, just wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, her body melding against his.
He carried her across the small cabin, their mouths still fused together, and laid her down on the bed. She looked up at him, her brown hair spread across the pillow like a halo, her lips swollen from his kisses, her chest rising and falling with each quick breath.
“You’re so damned beautiful,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion.
He lowered himself over her, careful to keep his weight on his forearms as he settled between her parted thighs. He kissed her again, slower this time, savoring the moment, savoring her.
Every touch was reverent, every kiss unhurried. He wanted to memorize this—memorize her . The way her breath hitched when he kissed that spot just beneath her ear. The soft sound she made when his hand found her breast through her sweater, his thumb brushing across the peak. The way her body arched into his touch, seeking more.
She let out a soft gasp when his lips traced along her jaw, down the column of her throat. “Bear.”
“Hmm?” He lifted his head, brushing his thumb over her cheek, studying her expression for any sign of discomfort or hesitation.
She curled her fingers around his wrist, grounding him. “I need you.” Her voice was quiet but firm, no fear, no uncertainty, just raw desire and trust.
He swallowed hard, cupping her face in his hands. “I’m right here, Bug.” He kissed her again, slow and deep, taking his time. This wasn’t just about need. It wasn’t just about attraction. It was about trust, about the way she was letting herself feel again, how she wasn’t letting fear hold her back.
Joy’s hands moved to the hem of his shirt, tugging upward. “Off,” she murmured against his lips.
Bear hesitated, his hands covering hers. “Yours first,” he said, voice husky as he reached for the hem of her sweater instead.
He wasn’t ready for her to see. Not yet. Not with the way the light from the fire might illuminate the worst of his scars. He silently thanked the dimness of the cabin, knowing the shadows would hide what he wasn’t prepared to reveal.
Joy didn’t push, just smiled and lifted her arms, allowing him to pull the soft material up and over her head. Her skin glowed in the firelight, pale and perfect, a constellation of freckles scattered across her shoulders.
The simple cotton bra she wore did little to hide the fullness of her breasts or the way her nipples had hardened into tight peaks beneath the fabric. Bear groaned at the sight, his hands moving to span her waist, thumbs brushing against the undersides of her breasts.
“So perfect,” he murmured, lowering his head to press a kiss to the valley between her breasts.
Joy’s fingers threaded through his hair, holding him close as his mouth explored her skin. When he reached behind her to unfasten her bra, she arched to give him better access, and the garment fell away, revealing her completely to his gaze.
Bear took a moment to just look at her, to absorb the sight of Joy Davis, half naked and wanting in his bed. A sight he’d imagined more times than he could count, but reality was so much better than fantasy.
“You’re staring again,” she said, but her voice held no self-consciousness, only a teasing warmth.
“Can’t help it.” His own voice was rough with emotion. “Been waiting a long time to see you like this.”
Her lips curved into a smile that was both shy and knowing. “Then touch me. I’ve been waiting too.”
He definitely didn’t need more encouragement than that. He cupped her breasts, thumbs brushing over the sensitive peaks, drawing a gasp from her lips. He lowered his head, replacing one thumb with his mouth, and the sound Joy made went straight through him, settling like fire in his veins.
He took his time, alternating between gentle suction and teasing flicks of his tongue, learning what made her gasp, what made her arch into his touch, what made her fingers tighten in his hair.
“Bear,” she moaned, her voice breathy and desperate, and he knew exactly what she needed.
His hands moved to the waistband of her jeans, deftly unfastening the button and drawing down the zipper. Joy lifted her hips, helping him slide the denim down her legs. The sight of her in nothing but a pair of simple cotton panties nearly undid him.
“Beautiful,” he whispered, sliding his hands up her bare legs, from ankle to knee to thigh, feeling the softness of her skin, the subtle strength in her muscles.
The cabin had gotten even darker now, the fire having died down to embers that cast just enough light to see but not enough to reveal. Bear stood and stripped himself down. He wasn’t ready for her to see the scars—not tonight. Tonight was about her.
But also, he was pretty damned desperate to be inside her, so these clothes had to go.
“Come here,” she whispered, and Bear returned to the bed, his weight settling over her again, the feeling of her nearly bare body against his drawing groans from them both.
He kissed her deeply, hips nestled between her thighs, the thin cotton of her panties the only barrier between them. Joy arched against him, seeking friction, and he obliged, rolling his hips against hers in a slow, deliberate movement that had her gasping into his mouth.
He was going to be hearing that sound in his dreams for a long time.
He hooked his fingers in the waistband of her panties, and he looked into her eyes, seeking permission. At her nod, he slowly slid them down her legs, his breath catching as she was finally revealed to him completely.
“Perfect,” he whispered, settling between her thighs again, his hand sliding up her leg to the warm, wet center of her. “So perfect, Joy.”
A soft cry escaped her lips when his fingers found her heat, her eyes fluttering closed as pleasure washed over her features. Her hair fanned across the pillow as she writhed beneath his touch. Bear couldn’t look away from the sight of her—so vulnerable, so trusting—as his fingers explored, discovering every reaction, memorizing the rhythm that made her whisper his name like a prayer.
When he slid one finger inside her, then two, her eyes flew open, locking with his. The connection was electric, intimate. Everything he’d always wanted from her. He kept his gaze on hers as he curled his fingers, finding that spot inside her that made her cry out.
“Bear,” she gasped, her hands clutching at his shoulders, her body trembling beneath his. “Please. I need you. Inside me. Please. Now .”
He leaned over her, pressing his forehead to hers. “Protection?”
Joy nodded toward her bag on the floor. “Front pocket.”
Bear moved away to retrieve the condom, and he quickly sheathed himself before returning to her, settling once more between her thighs. He braced himself above her, looking into her eyes as he positioned himself at her entrance.
Slowly, reverently, Bear pressed into her, watching her face for any sign of discomfort. The feeling of her body welcoming him, hot and tight and perfect, nearly overwhelmed him. He had to pause, to breathe deeply, to regain control. He absolutely refused to rush through this.
But then she wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him deeper, and he groaned—a deep, gravelly sound he could hardly recognize as coming from him—as he sank fully into her. For a moment, they stayed like that, connected, adjusting to the sensation, their eyes locked and breath mingling.
“You feel like home,” she whispered, the words so soft he almost missed them.
Something in his chest cracked open at that, raw emotion flooding through him. He captured her mouth in a deep kiss as he began to move, setting a gentle, methodical rhythm that had them both gasping.
It wasn’t just sex. It was them —all the years of want, of longing, of holding back. It was slow and aching, hands grasping, lips murmuring soft reassurances.
Joy moved with him, meeting him thrust for thrust, sliding her hands over his back. He tensed slightly when her fingers brushed the edge of his scars, but she didn’t linger there, didn’t seem to notice the rough texture in the darkness. The room filled with the sounds of their pleasure—soft gasps, quiet moans, the whisper of skin against skin.
Bear could feel Joy’s body tightening around him, could see the flush spreading across her chest and neck, and he knew she was close. He slipped a hand between them, his fingers finding that spot that made her sob his name.
“Let go,” he murmured against her ear. “I’ve got you, Joy. I’ve always got you.”
She came apart beneath him, her body arching, her inner muscles clenching around him, his name a broken cry on her lips. The sight of her—eyes closed, head thrown back, completely lost in pleasure—was his own undoing.
With a low groan, he followed her over the edge, burying his face in her neck as release crashed through him, wave after wave of pleasure so intense it bordered on pain.
Afterward, they lay tangled together, hearts racing, breath gradually slowing. Bear kept her close, unwilling to break their connection just yet, unwilling to let this moment end.
Bear pressed a kiss to her temple, letting his hand glide up and down her spine, savoring the softness of her skin, the weight of her against him. “You okay?” he asked quietly.
She hummed, nuzzling closer, pressing a soft kiss to his chest. “Better than okay.”
Bear smiled against her hair, pulling her tighter against him. She felt right in his arms, like she belonged there. Had always belonged there.
Yeah. He was definitely better than okay too.