Chapter 20
The house was quiet.
Not the suffocating silence Joy had been drowning in for weeks, but a peaceful quiet. The kind that came after a long day of hard work, after laughter, after people who cared made sure she wasn’t going through hard things alone.
She stood in the center of her freshly cleaned living room, arms crossed, surveying the space. The air wasn’t heavy with ghosts. The memories of that night were still there, but they weren’t choking her anymore.
She picked up the phone before she could talk herself out of it and sent the text.
Dinner at my place tonight?
The response came almost immediately.
You sure?
Joy exhaled, a small smile tugging at her lips.
Yeah. I’m sure.
A pause. Then?—
What time?
Her heart did an annoying little flip. Two hours should give her enough time for what she had planned.
Seven.
She could practically see his sexy smile when the next text came in.
I’ll be dessert. Ahem, I mean I’ll bring dessert.
Joy rolled her eyes, but warmth spread through her chest anyway. She set the phone down, staring at it for a long moment.
Tonight, Bear would be here in her house. She’d be able to show him without words that he was making a difference in her life. That she was doing better. That things weren’t perfect, but they were moving in a positive direction.
The past week since their time in the cabin had been amazing. The sex had been mind-blowing each time. But tonight, she had plans. Much more than just showing him the house. She wanted to show him… her .
She wanted to show him that the feminine side of her that she was finally expressing with Velvet Mornings extended to her as a woman.
And although everyone would get to see the food truck, only Bear was going to see this side of her.
But first, she needed to get dinner prepped. She had plans for Bear Bollinger, and that was going to require he was fed.
She almost hated to mess up the kitchen in any way, but it felt good to actually use it again to cook rather than just run in to warm something in the microwave like she had for the past six weeks.
She was keeping it relatively simple tonight, a jarred pasta sauce that she was fancifying by adding some fresh ingredients: herbs, garlic, and Italian sausage. She turned it to low and ran upstairs to get ready.
The wooden box she slid from beneath her bed wasn’t dusty.
Unlike everything else in this house that had been coated with a fine layer of neglect, this long and short wooden chest had remained pristine. Joy ran her fingers over the carved lid, taking a deep breath before lifting it open.
Inside lay the secret she’d kept from everyone in Oak Creek—the collection she’d started on her eighteenth birthday and had been quietly adding to ever since. Delicate fabrics in soft colors spilled over one another, a stark contrast to the practical clothes everyone assumed filled her drawers.
“I’m not just what they see,” she whispered to herself, lifting a sheer pale pink teddy from the pile.
She sifted through the collection, each piece bringing back memories of shopping trips to Reddington City, always alone, always feeling like she was living a double life. The tomboy who climbed trees and jumped into freezing lakes also loved lace and silk against her skin.
Her fingers stopped on a bra and panty set she’d purchased just weeks before the attack, a deep midnight blue, almost black in the shadows, with delicate lace trim that looked like it had been painted on the fabric. She’d been saving it for something special.
For someone special.
“This one,” she decided, lifting it out.
In her bathroom, she took her time. The hot shower washed away the last traces of cleaning supplies from her skin, leaving behind the scent of her favorite jasmine body wash. She dried her hair until it fell in soft waves around her face rather than yanking it back into her usual ponytail.
Standing before the mirror wrapped in a towel, she applied a light coat of mascara, a touch of blush, and clear lip gloss. Nothing dramatic—Bear wouldn’t expect or want that—but enough to make her feel beautiful. To make her feel like herself.
The lingerie fit perfectly, molding to her body like a second skin. The bra pushed her breasts up just enough, the midnight blue contrasting with her creamy skin. The matching panties rode low on her hips, connected to thigh-high flesh-colored stockings by delicate garters that made her feel both powerful and vulnerable at the same time.
She studied her reflection, barely recognizing the woman who stared back at her. This wasn’t the Joy Davis that Oak Creek knew. This was the Joy she kept hidden, the one who dreamed of pink food trucks and beautiful things, who wasn’t afraid to be soft.
Bear would be the first person to see this side of her completely. Her throat tightened at the thought.
The soft silk robe slid over her shoulders, the material cool against her warmed skin. She tied it closed, letting the hem fall just above her knees, hiding her secret for just a little longer.
Downstairs, she checked on dinner, stirred the sauce, set the table with her nicest plates—the ones she’d had tucked away in a cabinet for years, waiting for an occasion that felt important enough to use them.
Tonight was that night.
The doorbell rang at exactly seven.
Joy’s heart slammed against her ribs. She took a deep breath, smoothed her hands down the silk of her robe, and crossed to the door.
Bear stood on the porch, a small bakery box in one hand, his other stuffed into the pocket of his jeans. His eyes widened slightly when he saw her, his gaze traveling slowly from her loose hair down to her bare feet.
“Hey,” he said, his voice rougher than usual.
“Hey yourself.” She stepped back, making room for him to enter. “Come in.”
He moved past her, close enough that she caught the scent of his soap. Her pulse quickened as she closed the door behind him.
Bear stood in her living room, turning slowly, taking in the transformed space. He looked at her in shock.
“You did all this?” He set the bakery box on the coffee table.
Joy shook her head. “Not alone. Sloane rallied the troops. Lincoln, Callum, Theo, Scarlett, Eva—they all helped. It would have been impossible without them.”
His brows lifted. “This is fantastic, Bug.”
“I couldn’t keep hiding.” She moved closer to him. “Not from my house. Not from anything.”
Bear’s gaze darkened as it dropped to the silky robe, lingering on where it parted slightly at her collarbone. “This isn’t your normal attire. Different.”
“Different good ?”
“Different amazing.” His voice had dropped lower, a rumble that sent shivers across her skin. “And you being here in your house makes it all even better.”
“I know.” She smiled, gesturing to the space around them. “It feels different now. Like it’s mine again. Not perfect, but…better.”
Bear stepped closer, his hands settling on her waist, warm through the thin silk. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m so proud of you.”
The words hit her harder than she expected, lodging somewhere beneath her ribs. “It’s small steps.”
“Small steps are still steps.” He brushed his thumb against the silk, and she felt her breath catch. “You hungry?”
“For dinner?” She let one corner of her mouth lift in a teasing smile. “Honestly? Not particularly.”
His eyes darkened further. “What are you hungry for then, Bug?”
Joy’s heart hammered as she reached for the sash of her robe, slowly untying it. The silk parted, revealing the midnight-blue lingerie beneath.
Bear went completely still, his breathing visibly hitching.
“Thought you might like this,” she whispered, letting the robe slip from her shoulders completely, pooling around her feet like water.
“Jesus,” he breathed, his gaze traveling slowly over her, taking in every lace-trimmed curve, every delicate strap, every inch of skin. “Joy…”
“I bought this before…” She swallowed. “I’ve been collecting pieces like this for years. Nobody knows. Nobody sees this side of me. Only you.”
Bear’s hands hovered at his sides, hands clenching and unclenching into fists, like he was afraid to touch her, afraid she might disappear. “You’re beautiful.”
“It’s still me.” She needed him to understand. “This is part of me too. The part that wants the pink food truck and feminine things. The part that’s not just skinned knees and reckless dares.”
“I know who you are.” His voice was rough, barely controlled. “I’ve always known.”
With a gentle touch, he brushed his fingers against her shoulder, tracing the thin strap of her bra. “You wore this for me?”
“Yes.” She reached for him, her fingers curling into his shirt. “Only you.”
That was all it took.
Bear’s control snapped. He pulled her against him, his mouth claiming hers in a kiss that stole her breath. His hands slid down her back, fingers splaying against the bare skin above the lace of her panties.
“Upstairs,” he growled against her lips.
“The sauce?—”
“Go turn it off.”
Joy laughed breathlessly as she rushed over to switch off the stove. He never took his eyes off her. As soon as she was back in his reach, his hands were everywhere, tracing the edges of lace, skimming over silk-covered skin.
He lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her toward the stairs. Her back hit the wall halfway up, Bear pressing against her, his mouth hot on her throat.
“Need to slow down,” he murmured, but he gripped her thighs tighter.
“Don’t you dare.” She tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling his mouth back to hers.
They stumbled into her bedroom, falling onto the freshly made bed in a tangle of limbs. Bear hovered above her, his eyes dark with need as he traced the edge of her bra with his fingertip.
“All these years,” he said, voice rough. “All these years, and you’ve been keeping this side of yourself hidden.”
Joy reached up, cupping his face. “Not hidden. Just waiting for the right person. Waiting for you.”
He turned his head, pressing a kiss to her palm. “I want all of you, Joy. Every part.”
“You have me.” She arched against him, feeling his control slipping further. “You’ve always had me.”
His hands slid beneath her, unfastening her bra with a practiced ease that made her breath catch. He slid the straps down her arms, his gaze reverent as he bared her to him.
“Beautiful,” he breathed, lowering his head to press a kiss between her breasts. “So damn beautiful.”
Joy gasped as his mouth moved lower, tracing a path across her stomach, stopping at the edge of her panties. His fingers hooked in the delicate lace, his eyes meeting hers, asking permission.
She nodded, lifting her hips as he slowly slid them down her legs, leaving the garters and stockings in place.
“These,” he murmured, snapping one of the garters lightly, “stay on.”
A laugh bubbled up through the desire. “Yes, sir.”
Bear’s grin was wolfish as he settled between her thighs. “I like the sound of that.”
His mouth on her center stole her breath, her back arching off the bed as pleasure spiraled through her. His hands held her hips steady as he worked her with his tongue, bringing her to the edge and backing off, again and again until she was writhing beneath him.
“Bear,” she gasped, fingers tangling in his hair. “Please.”
He raised his head, his eyes nearly black with desire. “What do you need, Bug?”
“You,” she pleaded. “Inside me. Now.”
He moved up her body, pausing only to shed his own clothes and put on protection before settling between her thighs again. The feel of his bare skin against hers made her dizzy with want.
“Look at me,” he commanded softly as he positioned himself at her entrance.
Joy’s eyes locked with his as he pushed inside her, slowly, inch by inch, stretching and filling her completely. They both gasped at the sensation.
“Bear,” she whispered, wrapping her legs around his waist, drawing him deeper.
Something flashed in his eyes—something beyond desire, a tenderness that made her chest ache. He lowered his head, capturing her mouth in a kiss that spoke volumes with words he couldn’t express as he began to move.
Each thrust built the pressure coiling low in her belly. She clung to him, her nails digging into the scarred skin of his back, her body rising to meet his, finding their perfect rhythm together.
“Let go,” he murmured against her throat, his voice rough with need.
It was like his command was all her mind needed to hear.
She fell apart beneath him, his name a cry on her lips as pleasure washed over her in waves. Bear followed seconds later, his body tensing above her as he groaned her name, the sound vibrating through both their bodies.
They lay tangled together afterward, Bear’s fingers tracing lazy patterns on her bare shoulder. The stockings were still on, though the garters had long since been unhooked.
“I can’t believe you’ve been hiding this collection from me all these years,” he murmured, sounding both amused and awed.
Joy pressed a kiss to his chest, right over his heart. “Not hiding. Waiting.”
“For what?”
She lifted her head to meet his gaze. “For us to be ready. For me to be ready to show you all of me.”
Bear’s expression softened as he brushed her hair back from her face. “I like all of you. The tomboy who jumps in freezing lakes. The woman who designs pink food trucks. The one who wears lace beneath her jeans.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Every version of you is the one I want.”
Joy’s throat tightened with emotion. “Even the one who’s still figuring things out?”
“Especially her.” He pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “We’ll figure it out together.”
She settled against him, listening to the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear. For the first time in weeks, she wasn’t afraid of the silence, of the shadows, of her own mind.
She was home.