21. Twenty
Predawn light filtered through gauzy hotel curtains, painting shadows across Xander's skin. I'd been awake for hours, watching the steady rise and fall of their chest, memorizing how my perfect baby looked in sleep. All that lethal precision wrapped in Egyptian cotton sheets, face softened without their usual carefully applied makeup. Two days ago, I would have denied wanting this. Would have insisted my interest was purely professional. Now I couldn't imagine not having them in my bed.
The mattress shifted as Xander stirred, one hand reaching out blindly until their fingers found my chest. Those clever fingers, equally skilled at picking locks and slitting throats, traced lazy patterns across my skin. The contrast of black polish against my chest hair made something possessive twist in my gut.
"Time's it?" they mumbled, eyes still closed, though I knew they were more awake than they let on. The little tease was playing at sleep, testing my control.
"Early," I murmured, catching that wandering hand and pressing a kiss to the palm. "Go back to sleep."
Instead of obeying, Xander shifted closer, pressing against my side with deceptive innocence. Their movements were slow, sleep clumsy, so different from their usual precise grace. But I knew better. Knew exactly what game they were playing.
"Don't wanna sleep," Xander protested, though his words were still deliberately slurred. He nuzzled into my neck, lips brushing skin. "Want you inside me."
The raw need in his voice made my breath catch. I could see the slight tension in his shoulders that belied his act, the way his breathing wasn't quite sleep-slow. My perfect little liar, playing at vulnerability while trying to manipulate me into taking control.
Fine. If he wanted to play, we'd play.
"Yeah?" I growled softly. "Been thinking about that all night? Dreaming about having my cock inside you?"
"Mmhmm," he murmured sleepily into the pillow, but I caught the way his pulse jumped when I grabbed his wrists.
My hands skimmed down their back, following the sharp lines of muscle I'd watched them hone in countless training sessions. I'd always appreciated their form analytically before, assessing strengths, noting patterns. Now I could finally admit how much I'd wanted to touch, to claim. Their skin was impossibly smooth under my palms, making my cock throb.
"Never thought I'd want anyone like this," I admitted roughly, spreading my hands over their ass. "Never thought I'd want such a calculating tease at all. But you..." I leaned down, biting the curve of their shoulder, needing to mark them. "You make me question everything I thought I knew about myself."
Xander just hummed, pushing their hips back slightly, offering themself up without breaking their pretense of sleep. The calculated submission in the gesture made my chest tight, made me want to take them apart slowly, make them feel everything I'd been holding back.
I traced a line down his spine with my tongue, tasting expensive body lotion and something uniquely him. Mine. The word pounded in my head with each heartbeat. My weapon, my warrior, my lover spread out beneath me like a feast. The sight of them like this, powerful and vulnerable all at once, made my heart race.
"You're going to lie there and take what I give you," I growled, spreading him open. The sight of him still loose and slick from last night made my cock throb painfully hard. "Since you want to pretend to be asleep so badly."
Without warning, I pushed two fingers inside him, watching them disappear into his heat. His answering sound was barely more than a sigh, hips lifting slightly but otherwise staying perfectly still. Just accepting, just taking. The trust in that surrender made something dark and possessive roar to life in my chest.
"That's it," I praised, crooking my fingers to hear another soft gasp. "Going to fuck you just like this. Keep you spread out under me until you're moaning for more." I leaned over him, covering his body with mine, letting him feel my cock hard against his ass. "Until everyone in those clubs can see exactly who you belong to."
A shiver ran through his whole body at the reminder of our mission, but his only response was to turn his face further into the pillow with a needy whimper. Still playing at sleep even as his body begged for more.
"Tell me what you need," I demanded, working them open slowly. "Use your words. Tell me exactly what you want."
Their only response was a soft moan, hips pushing back against my touch. The defiance in their continued act made heat pool in my gut.
"Playing difficult?" I growled, reaching for my tie. "Fine. If you want to pretend you can't speak..." I gathered their hair gently, carefully lifting their head to slip the silk between their lips. Their quiet moan as I secured it was definitely not sleepy anymore.
"Perfect," I breathed, running my hands down their spine, feeling the tension building in those powerful muscles even as they maintained their facade of surrender. "Now you really can't make a sound."
I withdrew my fingers, watching them clench around nothing. Their only protest was a tiny whimper behind the gag. I slicked myself thoroughly, positioning carefully. "Going to take you just like this. Nice and slow while you lie there and take it."
The head of my cock pressed against his entrance and I had to grip his hips hard to keep my control. Even now, he didn't move. He just lay there, accepting, waiting. Mine. I pushed in slowly, watching inches of my cock disappear into his willing body.
"Fuck," I groaned as I bottomed out. "You feel that? Feel how deep I am?" I ground my hips against his ass, making him feel every inch. His muffled moan was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard. "Such a good baby, taking all of Daddy’s big cock without a single complaint."
I pulled back slowly, watching my cock drag against his rim, then slammed back in hard enough to drive a choked sound from behind the gag. "That's it," I purred, setting a brutal pace that belied my gentle tone. "Just lie there and take it. Show me how well I've trained you."
Each thrust pulled muffled whimpers from him now, but still he maintained his act. He kept his face pressed into the pillow, body loose and pliant beneath me even as his inner muscles clenched around my cock. The contrast between his deadly strength and this willing surrender made me wild.
"Look at you," I growled, snapping my hips harder. "My perfect weapon. Could kill a man twenty different ways without breaking a sweat." I leaned down, biting the nape of his neck. "But here you are, spreading your legs for me, letting me use that gorgeous body however I want."
His cock was hard and leaking against the sheets, but he didn't reach for it, didn't try to get friction. Just lay there, taking each punishing thrust with muffled moans that grew more desperate by the second. Such perfect control, even now. It made me want to break him completely.
"Bet you're close already." I took him in my fist, savoring the way his cock pulsed in my grip. "Gonna come just from this? Just from lying here letting me fuck you?"
His whole body shuddered, but still he didn't move, didn't speak. Just trembled beneath me as I stroked his cock in time with my thrusts. The silk of my tie was soaked with his saliva now, his muffled sounds growing more frantic.
"Come on," I demanded, twisting my wrist on the upstroke. "Show me how much you love this. Show me how much you love being mine."
But instead of giving in, he maintained his act, keeping his face pressed into the pillow, his body relaxed despite the tremors I could feel running through his muscles. The stubborn display of control was starting to frustrate me. I slowed my thrusts to a torturous pace, letting go of his length completely.
"No, I don't think you get to come yet," I murmured, running my fingers lightly along his shaft, barely touching. "Not until you stop pretending. Not until you beg for it properly."
The muffled whine behind the gag was definitely frustrated now, but he still didn’t break.
"Such control," I praised, grinding deep but keeping my pace maddeningly slow. "All that training paying off. But we both know I can outlast you." I scraped my teeth along his shoulder. "I can keep you right here, right on the edge, for hours if I have to."
His cock twitched violently at that threat, another desperate sound escaping around the gag. I smiled against his skin, knowing I had him. "Remember all those endurance lessons? This is just another kind of training. Teaching you who you belong to."
I pulled almost all the way out, then sank back in with agonizing slowness and he let out a long, low groan. When I wrapped my hand around him again, the touch was feather light, just enough to tease, nowhere near enough to satisfy.
"Wonder how long you can keep pretending," I mused, keeping my strokes deliberately soft even as his hips tried to push into my grip. "You're shaking," I observed, keeping my thrusts torturously slow, my grip on his cock frustratingly light.
He tried to push back, seeking more, but I held his hips firmly in place.
"Ah ah. You don't get to move. Remember? You're supposed to be asleep."
Another muffled whine behind the gag, his fingers clenching in the sheets. I could feel his control fracturing, feel how desperately he wanted to arch into my touch, to demand more. But still he kept up his act, even as sweat beaded on his skin.
"I could do this all morning," I murmured, though my own control was hanging by a thread. The sight of him fighting to stay still, fighting to stay quiet, was the most erotic thing I'd ever seen. "Keep you right here, desperate and aching, until you break. Until you show me how badly you need it."
They clenched around me violently at that, their body shuddering. So close to breaking. I leaned down, letting my lips brush their ear.
"Maybe I'll finish and leave you wanting," I suggested, voice rough. "Take you to those clubs tonight, knowing you're aching for release." I punctuated this with a particularly deep thrust. "Knowing you're desperate for me while you try to catch Roche's attention."
A muffled protest escaped around the gag. I rewarded them with a firmer stroke, thumb sliding over their tip where they were leaking steadily.
"That's it," I purred. "Getting harder to pretend, isn't it? Harder to keep that perfect control." I twisted my wrist just right as I stroked him, feeling him throb in my grip. "All those months of training you to maintain composure under pressure… Who knew all it would take to break you was this?"
The tremors running through his body were constant now, his breathing harsh around the silk between his teeth. His hips made tiny, aborted movements like he couldn't quite stop himself from seeking more.
"Want to know a secret?" I murmured, nipping at his ear. "I love watching you fight it. Love knowing that any second now, you're going to break for me."
His moan was definitely desperate now, muffled but unmistakable. I could feel how close he was, how hard he was fighting to maintain his act. Just needed one final push...
"But maybe you don't want it badly enough," I mused, slowing my hand to an almost complete stop. "Maybe I should just—"
He broke with a violent shudder, wrenching his head up from the pillow. A stream of muffled begging spilled around the gag, his body arching as his act finally shattered. Gone was any pretense of sleep or surrender. Now he writhed beneath me, desperately seeking more.
"There you are," I breathed, tightening my grip. "That wasn't so hard, was it? My perfect weapon, so desperate for my cock that you can't even maintain that famous control."
He sobbed behind the gag, hips bucking frantically now between my hand and my cock. The sight of him finally letting go, finally showing me exactly how much he needed this, made my own control snap.
"Mine," I growled, slamming into them hard. "Come for me. Show me how much you want this."
His whole body seized as he came, muscles locking around me while he spilled hot over my fingers. Tremors wracked his body, and tiny, nonsensical sounds came muffled through the gag. The sight of him finally breaking pushed me over the edge. I buried myself deep as my own release hit, marking his insides to match all the bruises outside.
As the aftershocks faded, I gentled my touch, easing them through it. Their body was limp beneath me now, trembling slightly. I reached up to carefully remove the gag.
"You with me?" I murmured, pressing soft kisses along their shoulder.
Their answering hum was pure contentment. They smiled against my skin as I pulled them closer.
"Always so quiet after," I teased gently, nuzzling their neck. They responded by tangling our fingers together, squeezing once.
We lay there breathing together, letting our hearts slow. The mission could wait a few more minutes. Right now, I just wanted to hold them, memorizing how perfectly we fit together.
After all our training together, all that careful distance... I finally had them exactly where we both needed to be.