Elias
ELIAS
The first thing he became aware of was beeping.
Next came the presence of something in his nose.
Then, a dull, burning ache throughout his back.
“Ugh,” he managed.
“?”
He tried to say Cade’s name, but it came out as a low groan. It felt like someone had railed on his back with a baseball bat. His shoulder was throwing a fit too, and he winced when he tried to move it.
Cade’s voice was next to him. “Hey, don’t move. You’re in the hospital.”
He was what?
Forcing himself to open his eyes, he squinted at the bright light. The first thing to clear in his vision was Cade’s face, pinched with worry even though he was smiling. looked around, blinking as he took in the pristine walls, the raised bed he lay in, and the medical equipment.
“The fuck?” he muttered.
Cade let out a shaky laugh. “Yeah, buddy, that was more or less my reaction too. Jesus Christ, you scared the living shit out of me for a while there.”
frowned, reaching up to lay a hand on Cade’s neck. Soot was smeared across Cade’s cheek with a bandage on the right side of his neck. His skin was sticky from sweat, and he looked more exhausted than had ever seen him.
“What happened?” asked.
Cade leaned on the bed, seemingly unwilling to stop touching . “There was an explosion.”
“Oh, good, he’s awake,” a new voice announced.
turned to the person, wearing doctor’s scrubs and a coat. He was an older man, probably in his mid to late forties. While was no expert on good-looking men, the doctor was handsome. His short black hair was sprinkled with white, and he was a little gray around the temples. Bright blue eyes crinkled at the corners of a well-formed face and a strong jaw. His nose, which looked previously broken to , only added a little charm.
“Good evening, I’m Doctor Andrews. It’s nice to see you awake, ,” the doctor said as he looked him over.
“Awake but a little confused,” admitted.
“I was starting to explain,” Cade said.
The doctor nodded. “It seems there was an explosion at the fire you were helping to put out. The blast wasn’t too bad, but you and your partner here were close enough to get knocked off your feet. And you were unlucky enough to end up buried under rubble.”
“Would that explain my back?” asked with a wince.
“That it would. Seems a large beam fell on you. Honestly, from the sounds of it, you’re a very lucky man. That beam could have easily killed you. Now, this is only a guess, but I suspect it hit the ground, which took most of the force. You did, however, take quite a beating in the process.”
flopped his head back. “What’s broken, and how long am I stuck in bed?”
“We’re still making sure you’re okay, but all in all, you’re a lucky man with only a few bruises.”
“Feels like more than a few,” grumbled.
Doctor Andrews chuckled. “Yes, I imagine it does. Your back will hurt for a while, but we’ll give you something for it.”
waved a hand. “Don’t.”
Cade squeezed his arm gently. “.”
“I’m not dealing with painkillers. Those things fuck you up.”
“This isn’t the time to be stubborn. You almost died, dumbass.”
looked at him, scowling. “And I’m not having my body freak out because it wants drugs. And who are you calling a dumbass? You’re the one sitting there bandaged up and not having taken a shower.”
Cade snorted. “I’ve been here, waiting for you to wake up. Dumbass.”
Doctor Andrews listened, a smile pulling at his mouth. “Well, now we’ve established that. By all accounts, you should be out in the next day or two. Would you say no to not a pain killer but a reliever? I’m sure we can scrounge up some ibuprofen for you, with a little more kick than the over-the-counter sort.”
“That I won’t say no to,” admitted.
Doctor Andrews shoved his hands in his pockets. “Good, then I’ll send a nurse in to give you your pills. You should at least try to get some rest in the meantime.”
“Isn't that what I’ve been doing?” asked.
“Try for some more then.”
nodded, not willing to argue. He didn’t feel like getting up and going anywhere anyway. His back hurt, but at least it wasn’t agony. And he didn’t care if Cade was going to bitch at him. He didn’t hurt enough to need painkillers.
When the doctor left, Cade scowled at him. “Why didn’t you just take the damn painkillers?”
“Because I don’t need them.”
“A big ass beam fell on you, .”
“And apparently, they’ll let me go tomorrow or the day after. If I was hurt that bad, I wouldn’t be getting released so quickly. And last I checked, I know my own pain tolerance.”
“You’re still being stubborn.”
decided it was time for a new subject. “How the hell did it blow up?”
Cade frowned, shaking his head. “I don’t know. One minute we were doing our thing, and the next minute I was on my back, wondering what the fuck just happened. Best we can guess, there was a live gas line in the basement of the building.”
frowned. “Shouldn’t we have known that beforehand?”
“Gas company swears up and down that no gas was approved there. Place has been for sale for months, and there’s not even water running to it.”
“Weird.”
“Yeah, I’m sure they’ll be looking into it.”
“How are Keith and Davis?”
“Barely touched. They weren’t as close as we were.”
reached out, gingerly touching the bandage on Cade’s neck. “And you?”
Cade smiled, patting ’ stomach carefully. “Just a little tossed around is all, nothing serious. The bandage is from getting you out from under the beam, nothing big.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Davis and I used one of the axes as leverage to pull the beam off you. It broke something in the pile of shit we threw it on, and something flew out and winged me. Seriously, it’s fine.”
“The ‘needed to be bandaged’ kinda fine?” asked doubtfully.
“If I can’t argue with you about the painkillers, then you can’t argue with me about this.”
huffed. “Stubborn.”
Cade caught his wrist, squeezing it. “Back at ya.”
“Thanks for pulling me out,” said.
Cade leaned forward, pressing his forehead to ’. “Every time.”
nodded, closing his eyes and enjoying the contact. After the week he’d had, it was nice to have this moment with Cade, even if it had come at the cost of his back for a while. Yet even amongst that, he could feel Cade’s warm skin and his breath on ’ lips.
Oh.
chuckled. “You’re sticky and smell of smoke, dude.”
“I know. I probably reek of sweat too,” Cade said with a smile, slowly pulling away.
suddenly hated their lack of contact. “Go take a shower. I’ll still be here when you come back. And eat too. I know you haven’t done that.”
Cade hesitated. “I could just?—”
interrupted him. “No. Go take care of yourself. I’m going to get some rest. Don’t worry about me.”
“Good luck on that,” Cade muttered but stood up.
watched him leave, his heart pounding as he lay in the room, wondering what had just happened. He could still feel the phantom sensation of Cade’s breath and the desire to close the distance that last inch.
“Wasn’t just a one-time thing then,” muttered, rubbing his mouth.
Or maybe he could blame the fact that he almost died. But no, that wouldn’t work either. How many times would he be tempted to blame it on anything else but what it was? Maybe just once blaming it on the booze would have worked, even though the sensations had sat with him for days afterward.
He had to be honest, laying there in a hospital bed after almost getting blown up. loved touching Cade. He always enjoyed their physical affection. Now, it had taken on a whole new meaning, and he wished he could convince Cade to let go of all his hang-ups and just...lay with him.
Instead, he was left to think, alone in the room, about his life and what came next.
* * *
wasn’t surprised when Cade reappeared a few hours later. Night had fallen, and the lights in the room were low in case wanted to sleep, which was pointless, in his opinion, since he’d been sleeping off and on the whole time. He’d also spent time thinking over everything, punctuated by drifting off to sleep. By the time Cade showed up again, knew exactly what he was going to say.
Cade came in, wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and realized he’d never paid attention to how Cade dressed. His clothes were never flashy or expensive, but he always looked put together. His clothes weren’t tight, but they hugged him, hinting at the flat stomach and the built chest. It wasn’t ’ favorite sight, but on Cade, he was growing to like it.
“Hey, you’re awake,” Cade said, beaming.
“For the moment. I keep drifting off,” said, watching Cade’s every movement.
“I wanted to stop in before they chased me out,” Cade said, glancing toward the door.
chuckled. “Scared of the big bad nurses?”
“You don’t piss off nurses, dude. You just don’t.”
“Tell me about it. I was raised by one.”
“Oh, right. Oh shit, have you called your mom?”
winced. “I’ll call her tomorrow. They told me they didn’t call her, so I get to be the one to deliver the news. Which is...fun.”
Cade sat at the edge of the bed, smirking. “At least as a nurse, she should be alright.”
“She’s also my mother, so she won’t be okay.”
“Mine would be more worried if it threw off her social schedule.”
wrinkled his nose, never liking the topic of Pamela. “Speaking of, have you heard from her?”
“It’s, uh, actually been a couple of days, which is weird for her. I’m starting to wonder if something happened.”
“But not enough for you to find out.”
“Fuck no.”
laughed, reaching to take Cade’s hand in his. Cade watched him, allowing his hand to be held and even giving a light squeeze in return. There was reluctance from Cade that didn’t miss. Cade’s eyes didn’t want to meet his, and felt his heart squeeze.
“,” Cade began.
shook his head. “Just let me talk. You don’t have to say anything. Let me say what I want to say, and then you can think through it and tell me what you want in your own time, okay?”
Cade looked wary but nodded.
took a deep breath. “I’ve had some time to think about this, and maybe getting blown up shook a few thoughts loose. But here’s the thing, I’m not...sorry it happened.”
Cade finally looked up.
continued. “I’ll be sorrier than ever if it ruins our friendship. Our friendship means everything to me, Cade. You’re my best friend. But I also don’t think that...that this is something that has to get in the way.”
“How?” Cade asked softly.
tried to smile. “By being honest about it, by confronting it. What happened that night was...not what I expected. Hell, I sat around all day Sunday, wondering what the ever-living fuck we’d done.”
“I sense a ‘but’ somewhere in there.”
“But, you know me, I can’t not be honest with myself, and I’m going to be just as honest with you. I...liked what happened.”
Cade’s eyes widened, but he said nothing.
“And I know, that’s weird. We’re both straight, and what happened shouldn’t have, and we shouldn’t have enjoyed it. But I did. And I’ve had to admit that over the past week. And I’ve had plenty of time to sit on it the past few hours. Now I’m noticing things, like how bright your eyes are, how good you look in those clothes, and feeling like I want to kiss you when you get close.”
“You...want to do more?” Cade asked.
shrugged. “I think so. Well, no, I’m feeling the temptation. But the thing is, I need you to be on board. If you’re on board, if you’re okay with it and want to try more, I’m there for it. But my...wondering what it would be like to be with you, to be something more than just friends, isn’t enough for me to throw our friendship away, Cade. So yeah, I’m into...more, but more importantly, I want Cade back. So go think, and tell me when you’re ready to talk, okay?”
He’d said what he intended, and nothing else could be done. Cade hadn’t bolted from the room, so took that as a good sign. Slowly, though, Cade pulled his hand back and stood up.
“Okay,” he said with a nod. “I’ll...think. About what you said and about...the other stuff.”
knew he was leaving. Cade had to think, and as much as it pained him to watch his friend go, knew it was for the best. watched him leave, heart heavy as Cade slipped out of the room.
closed his eyes, forcing himself to take a deep breath. He’d put himself out there. Now, he needed to wait for Cade’s verdict.