Theo
THEO
Frowning at the canvas in front of him, dragged the brush across it, scrutinizing as the blue smeared with the black. It wasn’t the worst combination, though it was rather messy. He cocked his head and realized he could live with messy. It suited the painting if he were honest. Well, kind of. He was just pleased that he finally felt the urge to paint again rather than pushing through it.
Three weeks.
The thought intruded on the middle of the next stroke, sending it askew as his fingers twitched. It was followed by a scowl at the offending hand and then checking to see how badly he’d screwed up the work. Thank God it had happened in a section where he could have a bit of mess.
His lips quivered, almost forming a smile as he let the thought roll through him without the risk of screwing up his work. Three weeks since that first date with Grant, two since the second, and one since the third. would have never guessed he’d make it past date one with Grant, let alone a second and third.
Hell, dating wasn’t even his thing. Every guy he’d ever been with had used the word ‘date’ to mean an extended seduction period followed by a roll in the sheets. And the women weren’t a whole lot better. Then again, hadn’t exactly tried anything more and purposefully sought out people it was easy to fall into bed with. That was his life for as long as he could remember.
And then came a certain blue-eyed doctor with a deep, rumbling voice and a shy smile that drove crazy.
’s eyes swept over the painting, wondering what the hell he was even doing. Grant was fun and exciting, but he was also soothing. Quiet, thoughtful, and as patient as was impulsive. It was a mystery how no one had snatched Grant up for themselves. The man was a prize.
And he could be ’s prize.
He frowned again, setting the brush aside with a sigh. It wasn’t the first time something like that had occurred to him, and he didn’t like the feeling it came with. His stomach was prone to twisting in knots, doing a few flips, and he ended up a little lightheaded.
Honestly, it was ridiculous, the whole damn thing. Other than struggling to find some new expression of his work, had been just fine, thank you very much. Before that soft smile and blue eyes that drank in moonlight, had been happy with his flings, his independence, and every bit of drinking and swearing he’d indulged in.
Stupid. The whole thing.
He jerked when the sound of music echoed from the coffee table. A smile curled at his lips as he recognized the Gray’s Anatomy theme song. Grant had rolled his eyes so hard the first time he’d heard it was afraid the man might strain something. thought it was hilarious. Grant just didn’t appreciate the nuance.
The press of his worried thoughts drifted to the back of his mind and dissipated like mist. Some ill-at-ease part of his brain knew they would return and probably catch him when he tried to focus again. But instead of worrying about it, he picked up the phone and answered the call.
“Well, howdy stranger,” purred into the receiver.
“Well, hi yourself,” Grant said.
could hear the smile in the man’s voice, and it warmed him. “Aren’t you supposed to be working?”
“,” Grant began, voice strained. “It’s ten at night.”
looked toward the windows, blinking when he realized night had indeed fallen. When the hell had that happened?
“And so it is,” muttered.
“I knew it was a good idea to call and check on you,” Grant said in the same thick voice.
raised a brow. “Uh, yeah. You okay?”
“Me? I’m fine.”
narrowed his eyes as a thought occurred to him. “You’re trying not to laugh at me right now, aren’t you?”
“Maybe,” Grant squeaked out.
rolled his eyes. “You’re an ass.”
Grant lost the battle with his laughter, the sound rich and booming through the receiver. found himself wishing he was there to see it. Grant’s eyes always got brighter when he laughed, with little creases forming at the corners. For such a soft-spoken man, Grant had a loud laugh, and it always filled the room they were in, no matter the size.
scowled. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”
Grant continued to chuckle. “I knew when I hadn’t heard from you in a couple of days, it was time to make sure you were still breathing and, you know, conscious.”
“I’ve been conscious!”
“You know what I mean. Not lost in whatever you’re doing.”
immediately regretted telling Grant about that little habit of his. It wasn’t ’s fault that Grant had plied him with the best frozen yogurt ever while walking down the boardwalk as the sun set below the horizon. was a sucker for nature’s beauty and good food. It wasn’t his fault that he’d talked more than he probably should have.
He couldn’t just blame the ambiance, as good as it was. It was Grant’s presence that made it so easy to babble away. Just like their first date, their second had talking about his work, what he wanted, and what he missed. That included not only needing a new source of inspiration but also how much he missed getting lost in his work. Whenever he was focused, he could lose himself in art, not noticing the hours tick by as he drove himself forward toward the end goal.
Grant hummed knowingly at his silence. “Is the past couple of days of complete silence a sign that you’ve figured something out?”
huffed, not sure if that was annoyance in Grant’s voice or not. It wasn’t as though they’d promised each other anything. If wanted to get lost for a couple of days in his work, his passion, then he should be able to without having to answer to a higher power.
He grimaced. “I might, I’m not sure.”
“Still figuring it out then,” Grant asked, sounding disappointed.
sat on the arm of the couch with a disgruntled grunt. “Yes. It’s there. I can feel it, which is more than I could say before. But it’s not there yet.”
“Well, that’s something then.”
“That’s what I just said.”
There was a pause. “You been eating?”
scowled. “What are you, my mother?”
“Well, I only ask because of what you said when you get sucked into something.”
“That doesn’t change my question.”
“And you also get cranky when you haven’t eaten.”
“I’m not a toddler, Grant.”
“No, but you sound like you could use a snack and maybe a nap.”
wavered between telling the man to go fuck himself and giving in to the dry crack at his expense. While leaning toward the former, he had a sudden image of Grant in his mind. No doubt, the man was sitting in his house, smirking softly at the phone as he waited to see what would do. As fun as it was to have Grant get shy and bashful, it was almost as much fun when he unflinchingly taunted , poking the bear.
sighed. “You’re an ass, you know that?”
“If we’re talking about my ass, then I should remind you that you like to point out that mine is very nice,” Grant pointed out.
looked toward the sky, trying to keep his mouth from twitching. It did nothing to stave off the chuckle that bubbled up out of his throat. His traitor body had outed him to Grant, making him want to scowl again.
“There we go,” Grant said.
“Oh, bite me,” huffed.
“What, again?”
ran his fingers over his shoulder muscles at the growling tone in Grant’s voice. Now, that was from date number three. Grant had invited to his house, either because the man had not wanted to see ’s home or maybe he just thought wouldn’t have wanted to show off.
Turned out Grant was pretty good with a grill, though he claimed to be out of practice from the long hours spent at work. Turned out Grant was pretty damn good in bed too. The older man might have come off as bashful and demure, but in the privacy of his own home, Grant had been as assertive and enthusiastic as could have asked for.
hummed pleasantly. “That depends if you’re up for it.”
Grant chuckled. “I wish I could say I was, but sadly, I have a double shift tomorrow, and it starts bright and early.”
frowned, trying to remember whether his memory of talking to Grant about his schedule was last week or the current one. It was a little fuzzy since they didn’t discuss Grant’s job much. knew enough to know the man spent most of his time there.
“Uh, refresh my memory. Didn’t you already have a double this week?” asked carefully.
Grant snorted. “Today and the day before. And now, tomorrow and the day after.”
wrinkled his nose. “You ever considered just...not doing that?”
“I would, but they need someone attending, and there’s not a whole lot of people on the roster. And it doesn’t help that we’ve got people coming in constantly that need treatment.”
“Right, the fires.”
“Yeah, and two cops came in last night too.”
“Damn, as patients or looking for someone?”
“Patients.”
“They gonna make it?”
“Looks like it, but we’re not sure when the other will wake up. Could be tomorrow could be next week. Things like that are...difficult to predict.”
heard the tightness in the man’s voice, and he wondered if he could make it over to Grant’s place before the doctor fell asleep for the night. Despite his earlier teasing, exhaustion and strain started leaking into Grant’s voice.
“You take this sort of thing to heart, don’t you?” asked.
“I...yes, I guess I do. Does that surprise you?”
slid down onto the couch cushion. “A little, yeah. You’ve been doing this for what, almost two decades now? I would have thought you’d get used to seeing people in rough shape, dead or dying.”
Grant sighed. “I suppose many do, but I’ve never discovered the trick. I’m better at dealing with it than I used to be, but it’s never gone away.”
smiled, unable to help the warmth spreading through him. One of his favorite things about Grant was how kind the man was. Maybe it was asking for trouble, letting his heart bleed all over the place when he was working with sick, injured, and possibly dying people. Yet it didn’t look like Grant was able to form the wall around his heart that would protect him from the pain and anguish he was exposed to on a daily basis.
“Then it sounds like you need a vacation,” told him, keeping his thoughts to himself.
Grant moaned. “God, don’t you start. Lydia has been riding my coattails, harping on at me about taking some time off.”
Ah, right, the friend from the gallery. “She sounds like a wise woman, who you most certainly should listen to.”
Grant chuckled. “Maybe I will. She was right about one thing, so maybe she’s right about that too.”
“What was she right about?”
“Needing to get out more. See someone.”
“Someone, eh?” hedged, stomach flipping.
Grant’s laugh was soft but warm. “Yes, , someone. That someone being you.”
“You sound awfully sure of that,” teased.
And just how was it that Grant could say something like that with such surety? Hell, didn’t even know what to call what they had going on and was wary of trying to slap a label on anything. The minute you labeled something, the walls came down, rules were established, and the world became a whole lot smaller.
Was that what Grant wanted? To bring the fences closer, to hem them both into something that would make sense, something he could define? If it was, wasn’t sure he shared the same enthusiasm. Grant might like his world neat and orderly, but knew full well what those two words meant.
Imprisonment.
“My life got a whole lot more interesting, fun, and brighter after I had the guts to ask you out, . So yeah, I’m pretty sure about that,” Grant told him softly.
The squirming in ’s gut was replaced by a sudden tingling warmth that washed through him. When the hell had anyone ever been genuinely glad to have him around? Sure, there was Blair, but they’d been together since they were kids, camaraderie born of being in the same trenches.
It wasn’t like anyone else ever expressed wanting more from him, other than his body and maybe enjoying what he hoped was a quick wit. Not like he ever bothered to let people see too much. Hell, other people tended to check out whenever started talking about his work, drive, and need to put something out there. They wanted the immediate, the pleasurable, and the easy, which was more than happy to give.
And if it was lonely at times, it was better than a collar around his throat, right?
“?”
He jerked, snorting. “Sorry, kind of got lost in thought there for a moment.”
“Well, why don’t you go get some food in your stomach, and not junk food either, real food.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“That’s Doc.”
“And here I thought it was Grant.”
“Better than Mom.”
snickered. “Alright, I’ll obey the doctor’s orders and get some food. And while I’m at it, why don’t you get some rest?”
Grant sighed. “Yeah, I think I will. Sleep well when you find yourself there, .”
“You too.”
The phone beeped in his ear, and drew it away. Emotions flitted through him faster than he could track and attach a name to. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, tapping the phone against his thigh, wondering what the hell he was going to do with himself.