Blaine
BLAINE
His first conscious thought was a simple ‘ow.’ ’s head throbbed as he struggled to open his eyes, wincing against the brightness of the room. The light only made the throb in his head stronger, and he forced himself to close his eyes and think slowly, carefully.
Right. The device, the explosion. Quite a lot of pain. Eric’s face streaked with ash.
There was beeping, a soft blanket over him. Hospital, he had to be in the hospital.
A warm weight pressed against his thighs, and he realized someone was holding his hand. Cracking his eyes open again, he ignored the agony spiking through the center of his skull. His vision shook, blurring the dark shape lying half on the bed.
It cleared little by little, and his breath caught as he realized it was Eric. The man was sitting in a chair, his upper body on the bed, head on ’s leg. Eric’s hand was clutched around his, tight even in his sleep, as though might slip away. The dark circles under his eyes were thick, his features drawn.
A box sat on a small table behind Eric’s seat. His pulse jumped as he caught sight of all too familiar handwriting on the front of the pile of envelopes sitting next to the box. stared at them, amazed that Sean had actually followed through and brought them to Eric. He hoped he managed to say everything he possibly could in those letters, though it had been so long.
“Oh, Eric,” whispered roughly.
“He’s been sleeping pretty solidly for a couple of hours now.”
Blake’s voice brought ’s head up with a snap. On the other side of the room, in another chair, shoved into the corner, sat his brother. Blake looked like he hadn’t slept well either and had yanked on whatever clothes he could find before dashing out of the house.
“You look like shit,” told him.
“Yeah? So long as I don’t look as bad as you, I think I’m doing alright.”
“Add a few bandages and some bruises, and you could,” told him with a half-smile.
“Naw, it’s about time I ended up being the hot one for a little while.”
“Blake, we’re identical.”
“And you’re...big, scarred, and manly. You’re still the hotter one.”
shook his head. Blake might not be the same size or bearing countless battle scars, but he was by no means the ugly one. knew his brother too well, though, and knew the jokes were to ease his own internal tension. When Blake reached an emotional equilibrium again, he would grow serious.
“He was like that when I came in,” Blake said, nodding toward Eric.
“Should have gone home. He could have slept there. Stubborn,” grunted.
“Mmm, and if the shoe was on the other foot?” his brother asked.
frowned. “That’s different.”
“Sure it is, . Because you’re crazy in love with him still.”
“Pretty sure I’ve never said those words.”
“Right, because you have to. Any more than he has to.”
snorted, gently running his thumb over Eric’s fingers. “I...wondered. He was pretty pissed off. Couldn’t be sure if he hated me or loved me.”
His brother rolled his eyes. “Two sides of the same coin, and sometimes they exist on the same plane.”
squinted at him. “Can we pretend for a moment that I have a head injury and didn’t go to college philosophy classes?”
“All I’m saying,” Blake said, pushing to his feet. “Is that in order to truly hate someone, you have to have loved them. There’s a thin line between the two.”
“I never hated him,” said softly.
His brother came to his side, resting a hand on his shoulder. “No, you just saved it all for yourself. How’d you get him to stop hating you?”
wrinkled his nose. “Not really sure. He stopped after I yelled at him.”
“Yelled at him. You...yelled at him.”
“And then kissed him.”
“Oh. The one-two punch combo, I see.”
reached up, taking hold of his brother’s arm. “This is happening, right? He’s...he’s touching me, sleeping on me, right?”
He hated the fear in his voice, and it wasn’t just because he knew brain injuries caused some weird effects. had to be sure that what he was seeing was real and not some heartsick fantasy his rattled brain had conjured up. That Eric was here with him, really and truly here with him.
“I can’t make promises about when he wakes up,” Blake said softly. “But that’s him, alright. He was wrapped around your leg instead of just using it as a pillow, but changed about half an hour ago. Threatened a nurse when they tried to move him to check your vitals.”
’s eyes stung. “That’s Eric.”
“There’s something to be said that his love is as barbed and ferocious as his hate,” Blake said wryly.
shook his head, agreeing but not. Eric held fiercely to what little he had, and he really could be a ferocious little bastard when he got riled up. But when he was alone, when there weren’t any perceived threats, he was gentle, soft, giving in to the moment as though it was second nature.
Eric jerked, head coming up to stare at Blake and . He squinted, and could see him trying to process what he was seeing.
“It’s alright,” Blake assured him. “You’re not seeing double.”
Eric’s eyes widened as he looked at . “You’re awake.”
“I am,” said, smiling gently.
Eric’s eyes shone with what looked like unshed tears. “You ass .”
’s smile never faltered. “I know.”
“You’re lucky you’re injured, you fucker!” Eric barked.
Blake snorted, the noise becoming a squawk as Eric’s chair cushion slammed into his face. “Oi! What was that for?”
“You should have got someone in here the moment he woke up! Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Eric snarled at him, taking more swings with the pillow at Blake as he stomped out into the hall.
“I forgot how...Eric, he is,” Blake said, staring at the open door.
chuckled as he heard Eric raising hell in the hallway. “That’s Eric.”
“You sure about this?” Blake asked, raising a brow.
closed his eyes, settling in as he heard Eric’s voice reach that special high pitch he reached when indignant. “As long as he is.”
His brother’s lips pressed against his forehead. When he spoke, could hear the quiver of his emotions and the shake in the fingers that lay gently against ’s chest.
“And don’t you ever scare me like that again, or I’ll sic your old-new boyfriend on you.”
* * *
It had taken Eric a few hours to calm down enough to sourly sit in the corner of the room and glare at any and all people who walked in. Blake had lingered as well, though suspected it was more for the entertainment factor than for any support reasons. It amused but didn’t surprise that most of the nurses handled Eric’s mood with grace and no small amount of mirth. The doctors, however, ranged from confused to downright irritated.
“He said he wants to go home,” Eric repeated to the latest doctor.
“I understand,” the doctor said patiently. “But it’s important that we ensure that Mr. Edwards’ health takes priority over his desires.”
Eric sneered. “And how is anyone supposed to get better in here? Place stinks of death and bleach.”
The doctor cocked his head, blue eyes shining with a new light. “Ah, I see.”
Eric narrowed his eyes dangerously, and felt alarm bells go off inside his head. Personally, liked this latest doctor, and he really didn’t want to see him come under fire from Eric’s mood. Especially the sort of mood Eric could get in when he thought a complete stranger was ballsy enough to dare think he understood him.
“Eric,” said softly. “If I’m going to be stuck here for another night, I’d really like some of that hot chocolate I heard the nurses talking about earlier.”
Eric’s eye twitched, but smiled when he saw some of the tension in the man’s jaw lessen. The dark-haired man pushed out of his seat with a growl, stomping out of the room while muttering to himself about idiots who got blown up and know-it-all doctors.
watched him go, still smiling, before looking at the doctor. “Andrews, wasn’t it?”
To his surprise, the man nodded and didn’t correct him with his ‘proper’ title. “If you’d prefer my first name, call me Grant.”
“Andrews is fine. Please don’t mind my partner, he’s...well, he’s him. He’s not a fan of hospitals. Hasn’t been since the accident that took both his parents when he was a kid.”
Andrews nodded. “I see. People who hate hospitals either know nothing about them or know them too well.”
flashed a smile, then let it drop. “Car accident. His dad died at the scene, but his mom hung on for a couple of days. Eric was unconscious for all of it. He didn’t even remember the accident, let alone that he was in the backseat. Since then, he’s...always hated the smell of hospitals, the sounds of the machines, stuff like that. Doesn’t even like the beep of a microwave, he won’t admit it, but I think it reminds him of the stuff he was hooked up to when he woke up.”
Woke up to his entire world having been shattered. Eric’s family wasn’t exactly close-knit, even though it was quite large. None of his siblings wanted anything to do with him, content to let him drift into the system so they could live their lives. That was except for Sean. His big brother was all Eric had for years until came along.
“And you wouldn’t know it,” continued. “But this is him worried and freaked, not pissed.”
The doctor smiled. “I’ve been doing this for almost two decades, Mr. Edwards. I’ve seen all the colors and forms that worry, fear, and grief can take. Don’t worry, I won’t take it personally.”
smiled gratefully, liking the man’s sturdy and modest attitude. He knew Eric could be a lot to deal with for the average person, especially those with overactive egos.
“So, tomorrow morning, right?” asked.
Andrews hummed. “I see you’re choosing to be stubborn.”
laughed softly. “C’mon Doc, you’ve seen my medical history. This isn’t the first blow to my head. I know what a severe concussion feels like. I know where I’m at, what year it is, and I haven’t been losing track of time or my thoughts. I’m coherent and lucid.”
“With that sort of experience, perhaps you should consider wearing a helmet, Mr. Edwards.”
Blake snorted from his spot in the corner. “I’ve been telling him that since we were kids.”
“If you make it through tonight without any issues, I’ll start the paperwork for you in the morning,” Andrews told him.
sighed, knowing that meant he wouldn’t be out until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. “Thank you, doctor.”
Blake waited until the doctor retreated out of the room before chuckling. “You really unleashed your boyfriend on the poor people in the cafeteria?”
“First of all,” said, adjusting his bed to sit up straighter. “He’s not my boyfriend. We haven’t talked about anything.”
“Right, he just read your love letters from before and cuddled with you on your deathbed.”
“Secondly,” he continued, ignoring his brother. “Eric will spit and snarl at the doctors because he hates them on principle and hiss at the nurses because he knows they don’t mind. He would never take his temper out on some poor minimum wage worker, though he probably will bitch and moan about slow service as he shoves a huge tip into their jar.”
“Careful, you might give people the idea that he’s not a grumpy asshole,” Blake warned.
“Because he’s not...most of the time. Just don’t let him hear you say it, or he’ll turn his mood on you,” told him.
Blake snorted, standing up. “Oh, hell no. You basically got the all-clear to go home, and I’m not sitting around to have Eric start in on me. He couldn’t be more obvious about wanting to get you out of here and away from everyone else.”
“You think so too, huh?” asked.
“He’s not as subtle as he thinks.”
His brother approached the bed, taking ’s hand in his and squeezing. “And call or text me when you make it home, okay? I don’t need to be sitting at home, thinking you collapsed in the street because you were too stubborn and lied to the doctor about how you’re actually feeling.”
“Yeah, love you too,” told him, squeezing back.
Eric returned as Blake reached the doorway, a drink carrier in hand. Blake murmured something before taking one of the drinks and walking out.
Eric sputtered. “Fucking?—”
raised a brow. “What did he say?”
Eric huffed, yanking the remaining cup out and handing it to . “He said I didn’t need caffeine.”
chuckled, taking the offered hot chocolate. “I didn’t know he cared.”
“He’s a fucking asshole,” Eric grumped, tossing the drinks carrier into the trash.
said nothing, sipping his drink and watching as Eric stomped around the room, fussing with the chairs, adjusting the sheet on ’s bed, adjusting his clothes, and generally fiddling mindlessly. It was typical Eric. When the man couldn’t do anything productive, and his thoughts weren’t a place of refuge, he would commit to any mindless task to do something with his restless energy.
“Well?” Eric finally spat out.
blinked. “Well, what?”
Eric motioned agitatedly toward the door. “What did the quack say?”
chuckled. “He said they’re going to keep me for the night, just to make sure nothing is serious. If that goes well, he’ll start the paperwork for my release in the morning.”
Eric snorted. “Great, so you’re stuck in here for another night. Fucking doctors.”
“Thank you for the hot chocolate. I notice you put dark chocolate in it for me,” said.
Eric’s annoyed expression wavered, then was replaced by a frown. “You’re welcome.”
It was fascinating to watch Eric’s temper deflate rapidly. People had always asked how it was that could deal with Eric’s erratic moods and showy temper. The answer, one that never shared with anyone else, was the same now as it was then. The man could stomp and swear with the best of them, but his anger simply melted away the minute he was shown human warmth.
Eric flopped gracelessly into the chair beside ’s bed. He was watching ’s face, eyes darting over ’s body nervously. smiled warmly, sipping his drink and letting the silence stretch. He could see something brewing behind Eric’s eyes and knew that if he waited long enough, Eric would spit it out on his own.
“I read the letters,” Eric finally said.
“Mm, I saw that. It was nice of Sean to bring them, though I’m not so sure I agree with the timing,” chuckled.
Eric scowled. “He’s a fucking asshole for having kept them in the first place. I don’t care if he was worried or whatever. He shouldn’t have done that. They were for me, God damn it.”
said nothing, knowing better than to allow Eric to focus his anger on Sean. hadn’t been too pleased when he’d figured out that Sean was why Eric knew nothing about the letters. Sean had given his reasons, and couldn’t blame him, even if it didn’t make him feel better. Love was beautiful and all, but it could be a tricky bitch too. Sometimes, it drove perfectly reasonable, level-headed people to do impulsive, possibly destructive things, all in the name of protecting. had forgiven Sean already, and he knew in time, so would Eric.
“And?” asked softly, looking at the box and letters.
Eric’s cheeks colored, ducking his head. “I...we’ll talk, okay?”
nodded his understanding. For all his impulsiveness, Eric thought through a lot of things, sometimes thinking them into the ground. could almost picture his partner crunching the numbers, taking apart every aspect of the problem, inspecting each piece, and then putting it back together to do the same thing all over again.
But he was willing to talk, and that would be enough for .
“Okay,” said, turning his hand to offer it to Eric.
Eric’s mouth twitched downward, and for a moment, thought Eric’s temper might flare up again, still smarting from the past. Eric took a deep breath, and the threat of anger was replaced by longing, pain, and something else that hadn’t seen Eric direct toward him in a long time.
Warmth.
“Needy,” Eric grumbled, reaching out and lacing his fingers with ’s.
“I have a boo-boo,” told him plaintively.
Eric snorted. “You’re an idiot.”
smiled, telling him without words that while that was true, he was Eric’s idiot.
Always had been, always would be.